How To Get Mentors, Influencers, and Partners To Say YES

So probably about once a day, probably more than that, actually. I get an email on Instagram, DM, a YouTube message, a Facebook message from somebody with a direct ask. And the direct ask is something like, hey, bro, will you mentor me? One of the beauties of social media is the ease of access to anybody that you want in the world. And it's also one of the downfalls as well, because it's easier now to connect with anybody in the world. And it's also easier to just be a D word to people and go for a direct ask rather than a way of depositing checks in the relationship bank account in order to build up what we call relationship capital so that you can connect with mentors, influencers, whoever it is that you're trying to build a relationship with. So in this video, we're going to go over what is the cool way, what's the way that actually works to reach out to people, to build a relationship with them, to build a mentor, mentee relationship with them, and also to connect with influencers or promotion partners or joint venture partners. And I'm going to show you an example of somebody who did something very cool today and inspired this video because it's the right way to go about it. So let's jump in. I believe that probably the greatest asset that you have in this world is the relationships that you have. I have a phrase where I say pretty much every decision, everything you do comes down to who rather than what or when or even how. So even the quality of your free time, the quality of your life, Ultimately, the things that make us happy are who we spend time with in that time rather than what we're doing or how we're doing or even when we're doing it. All the experiences that you have are usually weighed by who you did it with. And in today's world, we can connect with anybody, which makes it really easy for takers to just reach out and say, hey, do this for me. Look at this business proposal for me. Hey, promote my thing. Hey, will you mentor me? They go directly for the ask. Now, there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. And going right for the ask is the wrong way. There's two ways to go about opening a conversation with someone, and one is to get the easiest yes possible, which is usually going to come in the form of a give or number two, doing something special and memorable in order to stay in that person's mind. So, for example, the first time that I hired an intern, I hired that Internet because I had Put it out that I was hiring someone, and I got a whole bunch of people applying for positions. And what the person who ultimately got the position did was they put out a real press release. The press release said, entrepreneur Ryan Moran frees up. Or entrepreneur Ryan Moran buys the Cleveland Indians because his time is so freed up by hiring an intern or something like that. Puts out a press release about a future event, about me hiring that person. That was a really cool way that got my attention. That showed initiative. It showed hustle. Too many people are waiting for permission or they're waiting for somebody else's decision to go out and provide value. So somebody messaged me on Instagram today and said, hey, are you hiring designers? And the answer is, I actually am. I actually am actively hiring designers. We have a real need in our company for design work right now. But just because he reached out and said, are you hiring designers?

You know, that caught my attention, but it didn't make me want to hire him. What he did then is what he sent me his rates.

No, dude, look, I get hundreds of messages a day. I'm not gonna look at your rates. If you want my attention, you go do a few graphics for things that you could improve upon. That's a give. It's an easy yes to say, here, I provided this for you. Here, I did this mock up for you in a way that I think could improve your conversion rate. That's leading with something memorable. It's leading with an easy yes. So what I like to do when I'm reaching out to somebody is I go for an easy yes that's positioned as a giveaway. So the way that might be is, hey, so and so. I saw that you're doing a book promotion right now. I would love to have you on the podcast and promote you out to my people. Our videos get on average X number of views when we promote them, and we'll even email it out to our list with a link to your book. I have a book club email list that would also appreciate this. Could we go ahead and promote your book to my audience? That's an easy yes. Sometimes that's, hey, I noticed that you're going in this direction. I'm connected to this person that I think could help you. Here's how I think how the interaction could help. Would it be okay if I introduced you to. Or it might be as simple as, hey, look, I noticed that you put your dog in social media a lot. We have a line of dog treats. We'd love to send you some. We'd love to send you a year's supply because I love what you're doing in the world. These are all gives, these are all easy yeses. But remember here.

These are still asks because you're asking for attention. So the idea is to get a yes, any yes. And you will have to give for the yes. It is not as simple as, hey, man, can you tweet this for me? Hey man, can you follow me? Not asking for something that requires them to do something for you. They are doing something for you by giving you their attention. The easiest yes possible is saying yes to an irresistible offer. The people that you want to connect with are too busy to do something for you. You haven't done anything for them. Put a check in the relationship bank account so that you have capital to use. Now the other way is to do something really, really memorable. And I want to show you something really cool here. What I've got is this box that arrived today. And I don't know how this person got my address. This arrived today in the mail. It's actually a really heavy box. Now, as I'm recording this, we.

Just started doing this new segment, this live segment that we're also creating into episodes called Wine with Wine. It's an opportunity for y' all to have a glass of wine with me, ask questions, meet some of my peers and other entrepreneurs, see some other success stories, learn some new things, see me say some funny things while I've had one too many glasses of wine. And I'm really excited about it. So as I'm recording this for you, it's a new segment. It's something that I'm really proud of and excited, excited to do. And so I got this box in the mail. Check. Check this out. There's like six things in here. First of all, the first thing, the first thing up top is book signed for Esther. It says the rest is for you. Esther is my three year old. She's right there. She's the most beautiful thing on the planet. Anyway, if you think your kid is cuter than mine, you're wrong. So first thing on top, book for Esther. This was sent to me by a fan named Tom. I know I've interacted with Tom in the past. I know Tom is in some of our groups. To be honest with you, I can't place where I know Tom from. I can't. I don't know if we've met at an event. I'm not sure if he's in our Facebook groups. I just know we've interacted in the past, right? But you can believe now, he is solidified in my brain. I know Tom. Tom has made an impression on me because I got this big box from him. Alright? Now check this out. Next thing in here.

Is a plaque. Look at this.

It says, wine with Wyan. From Tom to Ryan Moran with appreciation. Look, by the way, a very simple yes is often just showing genuine appreciation. Genuine appreciation is such a rare commodity in today's world. It's free. It makes you feel good. Like, here's a quick story for you. I was walking down into the lobby of my building and there was. The concierge was new and his name is Freddie. And Freddy's super friendly, super helpful. So I just said, hey, Freddie, I just want to let you know how much I appreciate how nice and generous you've been since you started. Just appreciate it. Thank you. He's like, oh, wow. Thank you so much. And you better believe every time I'm in the lobby now and he sees me, it triggers in his brain he appreciates how I treat him. So I'm going to treat him that way more. Now, what that is, is it was a genuine compliment, a genuine appreciation. But what you appreciate, appreciates. So him serving me in that way is probably going to continue because I literally appreciated that behavior, that activity. Relationship tip. Stop criticizing your partner. Start appreciating the things that you want to highlight what you appreciate, appreciates. All right, let's see what else is in the box. Okay, that was number two. Number three. Check this out. Can you see this? There are two bottles. Three bottles. Oh, I missed one earlier.

Three bottles of reserve wine. Not the cheap stuff, reserve wine.

And you better look like it is completely relevant to what I'm up to right now. So you better believe there's gonna be a bottle of this on wine with wine soon, which means I'm gonna remember Tom again. I'm gonna talk about Tom publicly. Probably gonna give Tom a public shout out, just like I'm doing with him right now. I don't know what Tom does for a living, but you better believe I'm gonna look it up because he made an impression on me right away. By the way, I haven't even thanked Tom yet. I'm giving Tom a public shout out because he got my attention. And there's more. Check this out. This is. This is nuts. Look at this.

It's got a personalized engraved.

Wine case. My name to Ryan Moran with appreciation. So Tom is smart. Tom realizes that there's people reaching out to me every day, trying to get my attention to promote something, to invest in something, to advise on something. And Tom reached out in a cool, unique way. And.

No message. Hey, did you get my stuff? Just showed up. Better believe I'm going to pay attention next. Like, this is. This is how it's done. But here's the best part. Ah, hats off to you, Tom. Look at this. I guess it's gonna make me cry. He obviously follows my work because he sends a journal. And I talk publicly about the fact that journaling has a profound impact on my life. And check this.

Page 1.

Page 2. 3.

Page 4. 5.

Page 6. 7.

Page 8. 9, page 10. 11.

Page 12. 13.

Page 14. 15.

Page 16. 17.

That's it. 17 page note. And guess what? There's an ask in here, there's an offer in here, there's, hey, I've been thinking about this idea. Reach out to me. If you're interested in connecting on this. That's the way you do an ask.

Because I'm gonna reach out to him with either a yes or a no. He got my attention.

And if I say no, still gonna be drinking his wine on camera, still gonna remember him forever.

That is how you connect with mentors and influencers. Not by reaching out to them and saying, yo, do this for me. Give always easiest, yes, possible. What's something that they can't say no to? You do that, and then you nurture that relationship and you nurture it more. You would never go up to someone on the street and ask them to do something major for you just because they had cred. It's this entitlement philosophy that people have with success or with celebrity. It's like, hey, you've got this, so you owe me this. The world doesn't owe you nothing. Nobody owes you nothing. You give, you give and you give and you give, and then maybe you ask.

That is how you connect with mentors. That's how you connect with influencers. You want to know how I've connected with all my mentors? I courted them like there were relationships.

You know, I know how I connected with all mentors of my mastermind partners, of people that I have deep relationships with, that we share secrets with. I courted them, you know, some of them. One of my mentors, you know what I did? I said, what's your speaking fee? I want to fly you to Austin, Texas, and have you speak to my people.

Why do you think I started the Capitalism conference? So I could meet Gary Vaynerchuk and Robert Herjavec and Brian Lee and John Mackey, who's become an acquaintance here in Austin.

I want to hire you for a day. I want to put you in front of my audience. You lead with a give.

That's how you create relationship capital. Not through asks. I was so inspired by this one. This is a really cool, unique way to do it. Well done. To Tom. This is how it's done. And by the way, a tactic known is a tactic blown. So if any of you start sending me wine, I'll drink it. Believe me, I'll drink it. But when you're copying what somebody else has done, it's a fast way to.

Show that you're asking for something. There's a great book on this called Giftology, written by a buddy of mine that will talk about unique gifts and getting in front of people to get their attention and create relationships. That's a good one. So I was just inspired to share this with you. You have access to everyone in the world. Show genuine appreciation. Ask for easy yeses, which are put in the form of a give. Can I do this for you? Can I create something for you? Can I send you something and do something unique. Be memorable so that you stand out. Are implanted in their brain. That's how you open relationships with mentors, influencers, and anyone in the world that you want to connect with.