Ryan Daniel Moran (speaker) reflects on the Texas abortion law from a personal standpoint: he lives in Texas (Austin), grew up in conservative settings (Ohio/Indiana), and understands the pro-life perspective. He argues both pro-life and pro-choice communities are motivated by compassion — for unborn life and for women in difficult situations, respectively — and criticizes public debate and legal efforts for lacking mutual understanding. Moran urges replacing judgment with compassion, focusing energy on helping people directly rather than primarily changing laws, and raises concern about aspects of the Texas law (including incentives/bounty and poor messaging toward those who are hurting).
Chapters
I live in Texas. In fact, I'm sitting here pretty close to the capital of Texas. I'm like a block away. I can see it right over there where the recent abortion law went into effect and signed by Governor Abbott. Now I live in Texas, but I'm from Ohio. And I spent four years of my life living in Indiana, going to a very conservative Christian school. In fact, I thought I was going to be a pastor for a good portion of my life. So I understand the mindset of the pro life community that was me for most of my life. And I think it's important for people to understand that there are no Republicans, there are no pro life people who want to control women's bodies. There are no pro life people who are interested in running your life. They just have heartbreak over the idea of a life that they deem worthy of protecting, of being destroyed or not having a shot. Now I live in Austin. Austin is a liberal town despite being in the center of Texas. And I want my Republican friends, my conservative friends, to understand that there are no Democrats or liberals running around wanting more abortions. Their heart breaks for women who are put into impossible, unfair situations and judged for it. They have compassion for that person. And in this current debate, this pro life versus pro choice argument, no one is listening and no one is looking for the compassion that each side actually feels and why they feel so passionate about their chosen side. The pro life community feels compassion for the loss of life that they want to protect, and the pro choice side feels compassion for the woman who is suffering or in a hard situation. I wish that both sides could have compassion for the other side. And if we could replace our judgment with compassion, we would do more good and save more lives than any law ever could. All of us talk about being so frustrated with the divide that we're feeling in the United States and maybe around the world, I don't know. We talk about being divided and divisive and polarized and we can stop that anytime we want by being compassionate and kind to the other side. We use social media and we use the news as a bully pulpit to shout our opinions as if we think that is what is going to convince people on the other side. Without ever pausing to say, could you help me understand how you arrived at your perspective? That is a much more persuasive way to be heard. When you seek to understand someone else. That is the only way that you too will be understood. We all have blinders on and we all have a filter through which we are consuming information. And so we get these pieces, these bits of information that verify our own perspective. And so few of us pause to understand what is happening on the other side. I wish my conservative friends could understand that the way that they can be the most pro life is not by changing the law, but by changing the way that they treat others. That they change the way that they treat those who are hurting. And.
I wish that my pro choice friends could realize that they could help those who are hurting the most. Not by changing the law, but by asking for others to help those who are hurting. If we could channel the same passion and the same energy that we put into trying to change the law and put it into loving one another and being there for one another and hearing one another and listening to one another, that is the only time things will change. In fact, that moment is when it will change. I have friends who believe that abortion is murder. And if you believe that abortion is murder, it would make total sense for you to be angry about anyone not taking an unborn child to term. It would totally make sense for them. It just doesn't have any impact when they are shouting that at someone else who is already hurting more judgment doesn't change that person's mind. It actually drives them to the other side. Anytime you make someone else an enemy, you are now on the other side of them and you are shouting at each other. A much more persuasive way would just be to love on them, would be to express kindness to them, would be to understand them, to show compassion for them. I see people who hold up signs that say I will adopt your baby outside of abortion clinics. And I believe them. I believe they are genuine in that statement. But if they were to actually express that to someone who was hurting, rather than standing on the sidelines shouting at them with judgment, that is when they could save a life in their mind. That's when there can be kindness that heals a divide on a very divisive issue. When everyone is shouting at each other and the media is loud about something, it can be tempting to fall into the belief that government needs to do something about it. And it can be tempting to put your energy and your dollars and your focus into changing the law rather than changing ourselves and changing our own behavior. But we can do good. We can create change. We can save lives now. We can do it immediately by taking our focus away from trying to change the law to reflect what you want to see happen in society and simply be what you wish to be in society. And that means understanding and being kind, even to those Especially those who disagree with you. That's the only way we heal the divide. It's the only way that you reduce the number of abortions is the only way that you create the change that you wish already existed in the world. And the current narrative over the law in Texas or any of the conversation we're having about abortion laws is completely void of understanding one another. It's completely void of kindness. My biggest concern is this idea that there's now a. A bounty where people are incentivized to rat each other out. I think it's just completely void of compassion for those who are hurting. I understand that the intent behind those who passed it are coming at it from a place of protecting the most vulnerable, the unborn. It's well intended, but they're completely missing another group of people that's hurting. And at the very least, there's a marketing problem. The very least, there's a marketing problem about how this is being presented. Because if you can't at least give lip service to those who are in unfair and hurting situations, if you can't at least match the law that puts those hurting people as the enemy, if you can't at least match that with compassion and other services that.
Help them when they're hurting most, you just perpetuate the divide. We as a country are craving unity and connection more than ever. And that is not ever going to come as a result of changing the law or changing the president or changing who's in power. We like to think it will. We like to think that if our guy or girl gets in power and we just get our way, that eventually everybody will agree with us. That is not how it works. We don't create change by changing the law. We change by changing ourselves. And of course we wonder, well, what can we do? What can I do? What can I do to make a difference for the pro life movement or the pro choice movement? And it starts with you understanding and showing kindness and compassion to those around you and to those who vehemently disagree with you. Because when you can do that, you build a bridge. Even if the other person doesn't walk across the bridge. If you build the bridge, you start to heal the divide. Seek to understand, and only then can you be understood. And once we can replace our judgment with compassion, then we will do more good than any law ever could.
