Raw Guacamole Recipe - Man Meals With Ryan Moran

Welcome to man meals with Ryan Moran. Tonight we're cooking an all American raw guacamole. The first rule as a bachelor, when you're grocery stor. When you're grocery storing, that's a verb now like googling is to clear your mind. You don't want to come in with a list. You just got to go in and feel what's right. That's rule number one as a bachelor. Now we actually have an agenda tonight, so I have a few things that we need to pick up. So we're going to head in. Also wear your apron because things can get kind of messy in the grocery store, okay? Take my word for it, go.

Okay, now folks, now I'm giving you this tip because I care about your health, okay? I just do, alright? I want you to have happy babies and not some flipper grandkids, okay? So when you're picking out vegetables, when you find a vegetable that has a nine at the beginning of it, that means that it's organic. That's a nice Dr. Oz tip for you right there. If it starts with a nine, that means it's organic. See, this one only has four digits. Means it's not organic. We don't want that crap. It's got pesticides. You have kids with 11 toes and crap like that. Be like you had a baby with your cousin, okay? And you don't want that crap. Bio organic. Now a telltale sign that you're a bachelor is I only needed one jalapeno from my guacamole and I went to put it in my basket only to rewind, realize, hello, how's it going? That I did not have a basket, I had a baby holder. So unfortunately, I don't have a baby to hold my jalapeno. So by the way, if you've never given a jalapeno to a baby, boy, oh boy, is that fun on a Saturday night. You see fellas, this is where girls get shopping wrong. See, girls come in, they have an agenda, you know, they know what they're looking for. They spend forever in the grocery store. Nosy D. This is where guys, we get it right, we come in with a clear mind. See, I have no idea what I'm looking for right now. Absolutely. So I'm kind of walking around aimlessly. No idea. Sometimes I have to circle a store like seven times to get what I want. But had I not come in with a clear mind, I would not have seen that tuna is on sale. Four for $3. Not on the list. But do I care no, because I have a clear mind. I want some tuna. I can have tuna. Doesn't matter. What no woman says is on my list.

Damn right.

Now.

First time this happened to me, it really scared me. But you kind of learned to develop a taste for it. Asparagus makes your pee smell like a fart. It's really a gift of nature. Really. So if you want to scare your friends, eat lots of asparagus. Picking out tortilla chips. Just remember that the scoops were made for man. Okay? Made with men in mind. Scoops. Especially for a man meal with Ryan Moran. Good raw guacamole. Need your man scoops. I'm. Who are you? What is this? Who is this? You knock on my man outfit.

Unbelievable. This right here is what we call death in a carton. Okay? Don't drink this crap. It's very, very bad for you. Instead, what is that? This is juice from a cow's nipple. Okay. And it's filled with steroids and all kinds of crap. Okay. No good. You don't want that in your system. Instead, if you're a milkaholic like I used to be, go with an almond milk or coconut milk is what I drink right now. Rice milk is good too. Great on cereal or in cereal, whatever. And smooth go with that don't drink regular milk battery crap. You'll have all kinds of weird problems. You don't want that joke. Leave. So I think it's been a successful trip. We got what we needed. We made some spontaneous purchases. It's now time to go back and make the man meal.

By the way, always use the self checkout line because it puts people out of jobs.

You kind of match. Match. You kind of match. Oh. Oh.

I thought you said you would have.

A match with my glass. No, no. Don't play with matches. I don't. No. Okay. No, I don't. Yeah. Although when I was in. I'll confess.

I sent Brenda has three. Really?

I was in the shower. You're a giant eagle. Advantage car. When I came out of the shower, our entire bedroom was on fire and I had a break. Window out and get the kids out.

Is it a true story? Yeah. I'm embarrassed.

Lucky when I was in the house, huh? I mean, I wasn't sleeping. I was taking a shower.

At least you're around water.

Did you get all your ingredients for your guacamole? I'll tell you what. It's always a new adventure at the grocery store with man meals with Ryan Ren. I did not expect. I did not expect that. Lady to talk about burning her house. That caught me quite off guard.

Rule number two of grocery shopping as a man is you have to be able to get all your groceries in one trip. If you can't, the technical term for that is namby pamby. Alright, get all your groceries in one trip or I'm coming to your house.

Okay, Seriously, if I'm gonna make this man meal, there needs to be a lot less space on the background and a lot more David Archilla to make it happen. I'm serious. Okay? With most of my man meals, I don't really have a recipe that I follow. I don't really have any fine tuned thing, blueprint that I follow. I just kind of make it up. I just do everything to taste. So I have three avocados, one large tomato, a big knife.

A couple of lemons, an onion, some cilantro, and I'm gonna add some olive oil, cilant. You know, I have a knife. You know what, you can leave. You know what, put that knife out of your hand before you raise your knife. I'm the one with the knife. Who's my girlfriend? Everybody out and put on some damn David Archuleta.

All right, gentlemen, let me show you how to cut an avocado. Because I have cut myself way too many times. And as master, I mean that's how we learn things, you know, trial and error. Let me show you the right way. Okay, we're going to cut it in half, cut it around.

Get interrupted by a woman. Woman twist two woman. I stab the thing.

The seed comes out. Yeah. Add some juice to that, Let the seed across the hall. Did I open these or no? Cut in half, peel the outside.

That's how you peel an avocado. That's beauty right here. Food of the gods, especially for vegetarians like me. Dense calories, protein, I think. Good for you. What is the bowl? You know what, you guys are freaking me out. And there's David Archuleta on and nobody puts me in a bad mood when David's singing. Basically, guacamole comes down to your ingredients, slicing it all up, putting it in a bowl and mixing. That's why it's a bachelor meal, because it's super easy. Plus it's freaking delicious. So I make a ton of it because it lasts a long time. It's easy to make. So throw everything in a bowl, mix it. Lasts for about three days. And great for watching the game or throwing at someone that you don't like.

That is how a bachelor cuts a tomato horribly. Now this Is better. Folks, David Archuleta's playing. Lights are dim. Okay, it's quiet. Here's what's going on. Now. Since I'm a bachelor, there's no precision really to this. I've chopped up all my ingredients. I've got my onion, my tomato, my avocados are all mashed. And I chopped up 1.1jalapeno pepper. And I'm just combining everything into my mixing bowl.

In a beautiful face. Make me. What a voice. What a voice. Kids got them some pipes.

All right, so.

Guacamole calls for either lemon juice or lime juice. I like lemon juice. You can buy it, you know, pre juice. Just grab a lemon and squeeze.

Half a lemon. Will do.

Cool.

And we'll add some cilantro. At this point, I can never really get a good gauge for what's a good amount of cilantro. So at this point, I'll probably just start mixing and I'll start seeing what it tastes like and I'll add more and more cilantro as it goes on. I don't have a for chopping cilantro, so I just pick it into really. See, this is the beauty of bachelor cooking. This is what makes it a man meal. Okay? There are no rules. Not clear your mind. If you don't want to chop, you don't gotta chop. You know why? Because you're a man. You can do what you want. If you want to pick your cilantro off the stalk, you can. And there ain't nobody who going to tell you otherwise. Yo. Okay, so we. I added a couple extra stalks of cilantro and now I'm just adding some salt and pepper.

We'll dub that later. We'll dub it over the video. Why did you just turn off David Archuleta? Because if you dub it, it'll sound better on YouTube. No, I need it now. This is not for the video. This is from.

Alright, so this is the finished product. Everything's in. This is a delicious, healthy, raw, partially organic guacamole. Great bachelor meal. Okay, seriously, just eat it. I'm gonna choke her. Like, I really will. I really will kill her. I get violent about once a year and I'm due the guacamole piece. I bust him.

Guacamole beta test. Thumbs up. All right, guys, How's. Yes. Yes. This is a family show. Archelado Grack.

Heck yes.