The Funniest Advice You'll Ever Receive On YouTube | #WineWithWyan

You want to sit down in the booster seat, Ryan?

What's that? It's 8:30 right now.

Wait a minute. For how long have we been live? I'm gonna. I'm gonna pretend like we're prepared. What's up everybody? Welcome to Wine With Wyan. This is the one with JP Sears. What's up, dude?

Cheers.

Why is your glasses empty?

This is a terrible, horrible way to begin. But we're also joined with the good doctor, DDS MD Clement Wan. Uh huh.

You have a problem, Ryan?

I think I do.

Should we do the intervention with Ryan?

Is that what this is about?

We.

We're here because we care.

Would you. I want to introduce you to our.

Yeah, this is. This is the winner from last week's Wine With Wyan here. The one with. The one with. We lost the cork is what happened.

The funny thing is this looks like a paper towel. It's not. Use your imagination.

So this is our favorite. We don't know what it's like a week old. So we're gonna find out here together. We're gonna start with the winner here, jp. Hey, cheers, boys. Good to see ya.

Jp.

Wasted. Wasted.

Back to your intro. You want to let the guests do the. Do the honors?

You ever used one of these?

I have.

Do you know how this works?

I'm actually scared of being on camera. And these aren't on yet, are they?

They're jp. Welcome to Wine with Wyan. What is it like to be married, man?

For.

Four days now, I've been married and I have had.

That's a successful relationship in this age.

I was gonna say I feel fully qualified to give very soapboxed marriage advice to people. Because in the four days that Amber and I have been married, we haven't had one fight.

I think the way to get really close and intimate with your beloved is to to be distracted from them so you never really notice them and therefore can't fight with them and therefore can't have a bad marriage.

Whoa.

Look at that.

We have slightly warm pizza.

Oh yeah.

Who is this pizza by? All right, so there is a story. There's a story here. Hey, hey, hey. Tyler, would you do me a favor? Go into the trash.

Something I wanted to try. This is a. Are you laughing? Because it literally was in the trash.

Yeah. And I'm laughing at you. How you are and who you are. That's mostly what.

I understand. Alright, so this is a brand I'm fascinated by. Cauliflower foods. Claims to be able to make a cauliflower pizza crust that's actually good. So we're gonna try it on Wine with Wyan. So what we have here is we have barbecue chicken pizza that I made and I've got sausage pizza that I made on a cauliflower crust. You were reading the ingredients earlier. What was in there?

Cauliflower.

Have you ever made a cauliflower pizza crust before, J.P. i haven't.

I'm concerned about the cauliflower industrial complex. And here you are, Ryan, serving pizza.

To clement and I. Dr. Clement.

Dr. Clement and Dr. Me.

Uh huh. Hey. To the makers of cauliflower foods. You're welcome for featuring on Wine with Wyan. You can look back on this as your big break.

That's really good.

That's actually damn good.

Hey, if you're watching on YouTube, do me a favor. Say hey in the comments, all two of you. That was a joke. There's at least four.

Hi.

Say hi. Say hi in the comments. If you're watching on YouTube, we want to see you.

How are you doing?

YouTube.

YouTube. I like the fact that you're on YouTube. You're much friendlier for creators. Did you see the recent video I made about Facebook algorithms?

I did. Tell us all about it.

I identify as a creator, which I know is super pretentious of me.

That's very Godlike of you.

That was so good. Right?

Thank you.

But I'll own it. Yeah, it is Godlike of me. So, you know, when I make videos, it's coming from like, purity as a creator. Like, I just want the people who want to see my videos to see my videos. Like, I don't, like, please don't show my videos to people that don't want to see them. But so YouTube is, I think, relatively pure along those lines. And then with Facebook, like the just the ever changing thing with algorithms, it just makes it so hard for people who want to see a creator's video to see them. I think Facebook is very much a marketing platform and, and that is phenomenal if you're a marketer. Like, no offense, Mr. Communist, but.

But like, for me, that was Joseph.

Campbell as a creator. As Joseph Campbell once said, as a creator, I get a little frustrated at the Facebook algorithms because the people who want to see my video are sometimes challenged to see my videos.

Hey, doctor, while we're on the topic of YouTube and Facebook, how many lives did you save in open heart surgery this week?

Exactly? None.

You're a terrible doctor.

How many open heart surgeries did you do?

None.

Oh, so 100%.

At least you didn't kill people.

So 100% the good doctor. This crust, I'm really impressed with this crust.

And speaking of your impression with that crust, Clement, what does make a good surgeon? Like, the ability to save lives. Save lives. But, like, what increases the ability to save lives for a surgeon? Is it like cutting straight and not cutting what you don't want to cut and sewing up? I have no idea. Oh, he's just being humble. He's the surgeon who pretends he's not a surgeon.

He's the humble doctor. The good, humble Dr. Clement. Wan.

Hey, Dr. Clement. What are you, a nutritionist now? You're barely touching your wine.

Hurry up. Go ahead. How do they drink wine in. In North Korea or wherever you're from?

They don't, because they're starving.

Thank you for that as a message. Not anymore. Donald Trump's making North Korea great again.

And Dennis Rodman, may we remember.

Oh, my goodness. Thank the creator for Dennis Rodman, let me tell you.

Hey, Tiffany Saunders. Hey, Leah, Drake, Carrie, Dedrick Joshua. What's up? Ryan Dedig. Good to see you.

Dude.

I almost married his sister.

Speaking of which.

Yeah.

While we're on. While we're on the topic, how do.

You almost marry someone? Like, were you at the altar and then, like, you. You slipped and told acl?

No, like, I had the date picked out in which I was going to propose. Okay. And then she called me and said, I don't want to date you, you dirty D bag.

Well, you took that too literally.

She was playing hard to get.

Yeah.

Ryan, tell. Oh, my good. I'm sorry. I miss. I misread the signals.

Yeah.

I mean, I will never understand women.

When they break up with you, they never mean that.

Do we have our first caller? We have our first caller. It's the part of the show where the wine has finally kicked in. And we have one very unlucky person on the call. Who we got. We have Mr. Aiden Au, who has.

A question specific to Clement.

Yes, I'm live here. It's Aiden. Hi, JP YM and Kleiman. Dr. Kleiman, DDS.

Yes. What you got? Aiden, good to have you again.

Great. Well, today it's actually an actual doctor's birthday. Happy birthday, Dr. Travis Zegler.

That's.

Happy birthday, Travis.

Aiden, ask a question.

Yes. So if we were to get Dr. Kleiman Kwan on the Bachelor, what's the best way or how should we market him?

Ah, that's a good one. So.

Is the question.

How can we get Dr. Clement on the Bachelor? Or how would we find the right match for Dr. Clement once he was on the Bachelor.

I guess we can take some baby step first. How do we get him on the Bachelor?

That's a great question, Dr. Clement. Do you think the world's ready for that?

I didn't think so, no. No.

Why not?

Well, I know.

Well.

Yeah.

I have some advice for you, Clement.

So if you were, could you quit? Like, I'll give you the Heimlich if you need it, or are you just trying to get attention? Ryan. Okay.

Go on with your advice, please.

If a woman thinks highly of herself, you have to treat her like she's very classy. But if she thinks really low of herself, you actually have to treat her low in order for you to, like, match the energy, the emotions, the behavior that she treats herself with, which is probably nothing other than a replication of the familiarity of her childhood and how her family treated her.

I'm glad you.

Tyler, who we got? I was so excited about this one. Who. Who we got? Hey. All right, they're not going to tell us who's on Wine with Wine, but whoever's listening, right now you're live on Wine with Wyan.

Hey, Ryan. This is Ryan. I think you were recently talking about my vegetarian biscuit.

Oh, hell.

We're on the phone with Ryan Diedig, everybody. Oh, hey, Ryan.

Hey, how's it going?

I'm a little on the spot. How's it going with you?

Hey, can we open another bottle of wine? I'm gonna need it for this one. All right, Ryan, what can we do you for?

Hey, so I had. I had a real estate related question. I have a couple, several units in Texas. Since I've been there for work, and my. My business recently moved me to Maine, which.

What part of Maine? Portland. Old orchard, Lubeck. Where in Maine are you?

I have no idea. Where the hell? Bengal, Maine.

Two hours.

Have you ever been to Lubeck, Maine? They filmed one of my favorite shows that no one watched called Murder in Small Town X, which was on Fox in 2005.

No, I have not.

Well, it's a be. It's a beautiful place, like, a couple weeks ago.

So I haven't visited too much in May.

All right, well, enjoy. All right, go ahead.

So my question to you in the real estate end was, any recommendations for good tips on jumping right into a new real estate market?

Dr. Clement, how would you penetrate a new real estate market?

Being as one. Being as the bachelor expert and the relationship expert, how would you two penetrate a new real estate market?

Yeah, I got something to say on That.

I mean you want to buy when prices are at the highest right before a crash because that's when everybody would say like don't buy there. But that's the worst advice because everybody's following that advice.

I have a little bit of a different opinion, Ryan. So what's the demographic of the area that you're in? Are these high income earners, low income earners? Are people buying second homes? Are they first time homebuyers? Tell me about the demographic. Tiny homes, Tiny homes.

Homeless.

There is a little bit of homeless. You can start there, I guess.

A lot of students. There's university approximately 15 minutes north. So you get a lot of the student population.

And, and what would you say is your demographic in terms of like who's your, who's your target customer? As a realtor?

As a realtor? I'm. As a real estate investment.

Oh, as an investor. Okay, perfect. Well then this, this is easy then. So are you going for rental income or are you going for, for flips?

Rental income.

Okay, dude, the best rental income in like if you, if you look at all of the different rental strategies, the income to price ratios are highest in two areas, special needs and student housing. Those are the two highest rent to price ratios. So if I'm you and there is a university, would you say 15 minutes from where you are or 1500 people?

No, 15 minutes.

Alright, so 15 minutes away there's a university. If it were me, I'd be buying up all of the real estate within walking distance of the university and renting it out on a per room basis to the students because you'll get more cash flow renting it out on a per unit basis or a per room basis. And that will have, I believe that's the second highest rent to price ratio. The only one that's higher is special needs. If you go special needs students, that's probably a two.

They don't like to be called that. They like to be called unspecial at this point.

Well, that's what political correctness will get you. Have you ever looked into student like doing student housing, Ryan, when trying to.

Find a place to rent? There was lots of very, very expensive student housing. So that, that correlates very well with what you're saying.

Yeah, I mean for example, I went to a university of about 3,000. Ask your sister, she would know. And.

Is that who you were gonna engage?

Yes, that's who we're talking to. Right?

Oh wow.

Wow, you guys are late to the joke on this one, bro.

Come on now.

And you know, it's funny. You guys were 12 minutes to the joke. I was 12 days late in asking her to marry me.

Yeah, man, if only you were. Earlier, the girl that broke up with you would have married you and then.

I would have been a different person had I asked 12 days earlier. So, Ryan, you know, I went to Indiana Wesleyan University. I. I lived in a house that cost the equivalent of the price of a VCR. Our total rents were $1600among those of us who lived in the house. And the house could not have been more than a 35 or $40,000 house.

From a 4% rule. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's a great house.

Right, Ryan?

That. That would be my advice. Go all in on student housing. The challenge that you're going to have is the leases are going to be a little bit more complex, but there's templates all over this thing called the Internet. And you're renting out per room rather than per unit. So if one of them moves out or gets kicked out, you're still subsidized by the other people in the. In the. In the house. And the rents are absurd. So that would be my recommendation.

Well, I appreciate your advice.

I got a question in the comments for jp. Alright, we got a question for JP.

And it is kind of Facebook, so.

I apologize in advance. It said you wrote a book, jp, called Ultra Spiritual. What type of revenue did or does that bring in by Ben Murphy?

Man, I'm gonna tell you right now.

Ben Murphy, the finest realtor in Ohio. Oh, here we go.

You know, Ryan is a good friend when he's got a copy of your book sitting right on his bookshelf.

So with that said, everybody. Yeah, I love the question. Was it, what type of revenue did it bring in?

What kind of revenue?

Yeah.

Not.

Not much.

Tom Twombly, my hero from the week who sent us this bottle of supposedly expensive white wine that we're about to try, says jp. Check the friendship strength by looking for creases on the spine. Was it? I'm gon skip that question.

Thank you.

Okay, look, I have multiple copies of the book.

This is.

This is Esther's ver. This is Esther's version of the book.

Like you and I are.

I downloaded the audiobook.

I am breaking up. Just like your ex fiance. I am breaking up with you, Ryan Daniel Moran. I am breaking up with you. And I knew it was.

Wait a minute.

You broke my heart, Fredo.

Is it over? Is it over? My spiritual beliefs. Just like her. Just like her. Reason?

No it's out of your lack of give a crap about my spiritual beliefs.

That's fair, that's fair. It was the same with Cooler if.

You were against me. By the way, you're like, yeah, that's a good reason to break up with me. Like that's so like unsatisfying. You always want to fight me. So thank you for reading my book. Uncreased book. Ryan.

I have a non audible. I see money. Who we got on the phone?

How you guys doing?

Great.

I've been watching for the last hour straight.

Awesome. I'm so, I'm so stoked about your excitement. What can we do you for? And do you have a name?

Almost just threw up.

This is Cena calling from Los Angeles. I know you saw a 408 number, but I'm currently in LA.

What's up, Cena in LA?

I got a physical product business and I want to ask you guys a question. I know jp, by the way, I'm a huge fan. I know you keep saying everybody poop. Yeah, that's how I got into my, my physical products business. I wanna ask you guys.

Big market. Big market. Yeah.

Awesome. Cena, love it.

So you've got a big market of people who poop and what was your question?

I'm asking if any of you guys have ever used a bidet before.

Bidet, A bidet.

I never have actually. I've always. I'll tell you this, my biggest barrier to using a bidet, never used it. Is the intimidation factor. If you can solve that pain point, you've got me washing my butt on a debate.

Can you give me some advice on what's the best way to fight that barrier? Essentially to get people to try the product when there's obviously some kind of taboo kind of thing going on here that is hard to overcome.

I got something to say about that.

I think most people.

Have like a barrier with anything touching their anus. Like especially like warm things that are coming from not themselves or a loved one. So I think like solving that, like if you. I just, I really, I feel my heart right now. I just really want you to capitalize and get people to love warm and even sometimes room temperature water, like seemingly involuntarily hitting their anus and like just being okay with it. Being wet afterwards. Like, come on. It's like when we were kids, we wet the bed and we want like mom to change his sheets right away. But if you can get people to be the kids wanting to have a wet bedded anus, like you've got like trillions to make. Like, people just want to have debates in their car.

We're still on the debate, huh?

What do you. How do you call it?

Debate? Oh, that's what we're talking about. I thought we were talking about something else.

What exactly is your business besides poop?

It's an attachment that attaches to your toilet and it gives it bidet functionality.

Got it. All right.

Helps you reduce. It helps you toilet paper consumption by over 80%.

Oh, my goodness. There's actually a marketplace.

Expensive.

I have like, there is somebody gastroenterologist who was saying like that it's better for you, like, because you don't.

Because you don't what?

No risk of tearing.

Yeah. Anal tearing. You don't want that, right?

As. As a doctor. Dr. Clement, would you tell us more about the market for having warm. Other people's warm things near your anus that might cause tearing?

It definitely appeals to certain demographics more than others.

Okay, well.

I sadly do have some advice on this market which I am embarrassed about.

Do you know there's. There's an entire zero waste community, and there's an entire community that only uses organic and. Or recyclable toilet paper. And that market is probably your early adopters. They're probably your early adopters to this.

And if you can copy what the Squatty Potty did, the Squatty Potty show. I cannot believe I'm giving advice on a bidet adapter.

Squatty Potty is now selling a bidet attachment similar to ours.

All right, so you would copy their marketing. But, but look, their, Their marketing was brilliant on this because they, they focused on a problem. How. How exactly do you turn a piece of plastic that you put around your toilet into a multimillion dollar business? You center it around a problem. Their problem was bloating, constipation, problems that happen when you're. When you're sitting on the, on the toilet. So you, you have to find the problem that you can address that's fixed by warm things going near your anus.

I swear, believe me, there's a whole bunch of demographics from around the world. Like, you've got your Japanese, your European, your Korean, Middle Eastern. These people use these products regularly. But what I want to do is introduce it to your average American and show that there's other ways you could reduce your toilet paper consumption and actually have a better experience cleaning.

All right, so let's. Listen, listen, listen. Don't go there. That's not your hook. Your hook is going to be something around health. Why is it better? Why is it better to wash it with your adapter than to use toilet paper? And you need to put that into a video, run it as a Facebook ad to the early adopters, which are your zero waste people. Your health enthusiastic. And they will take it to the rest of the world. Got it.

Tell them I got something to say.

What you're gonna wanna do is run targeted ads to women who have armpit hair.

That's pretty much the fair demographic.

Yeah.

Bill, I want you to be you. Bill, I want you to be the President of these United States who wants nothing more than blowjobs in the Oval Office from people who are not your despicable wife.

I swear I was gonna end this episode of Wine with wine until Dr. Clement finished his wine. But we'd go on for nine hours.

Chill.

Chill.

Yeah. We're gonna be here for nine hours. That's what's gonna happen.

This is where we put. This is where I put it on 4x speed, waiting for him to finish.

Well, folks.

This has been Wine with Wyan. Special thanks to the good Dr. Clement, Juan and JP Sears, the relationship experts, Dr. JP Sears, thank all of you for hanging out with us. We will see you soon. Thanks for joining us on Wine with Wine. Good night.

You talking about warm things near anuses while looking at Clement was the funniest freaks thing I've ever seen in my life.