A short spoken monologue by Ryan Daniel Moran (YouTube) in which he describes growing up believing in a punitive, demanding God and contrasts that with his present experience as a loving father. He argues that if God is truly a father, God’s love would be unconditional—loving children simply because they are—rather than conditional on performance or worthiness.
I spent most of my life believing in a God who hated me. I believed in a God who created me, but also damned me to eternal pain and suffering, especially when it conflicted with my desires or my beliefs or my doubts. And rather than question this, I was told to be thankful that I had a way out at all. That was called grace. Because I was a disgusting, dirty, depraved sinner. I was born this way. I lived in a constant state of fear of this God because my own salvation depended on him. But at the same time, this God required my worship and my praise. So I sang songs to him and told him that he was great, like he was insecure about something, you know? That belief fostered some sense of self loathing within me because my first understanding of God was that I was imperfect and that I was born wrong and I had to do something to please my Creator in order to be saved by Him. I was taught that God's love was like that of a father. But what kind of a father is that? You know, there are fathers who have children and they have their own insecurities, so they try to live out their lives through their kids. Maybe you know what that's like to have a father with unreconciled issues. And so there's nothing that you can do in order to please that person. There's always going to be something wrong with you. And if that's our version of God.
No wonder we fight about Him.
Yeah, I'm a father now. And when I look at my little girl, I just brim with joy. She doesn't need to do anything. She doesn't have to be anything. I don't need to forgive her for anything. I just love her because she is. I love the way that she holds her fork and stabs her food. I love the way that she messes up words when she talks. I love her waddle when she walks. I love her for everything that she is. And I love her for my own enjoyment. She doesn't have to do anything. She never had to do anything, so she can never escape it. She can run and she can cry and she can throw tantrums, but I love her for my own enjoyment. So there is literally nothing that she can do to lose that. My little girl does not need to live up to my expectations because I literally have no expectations for her. I love her simply because she is. If God's love, if there is a God and he is truly like a father, then he must be the kind of father that loves you simply because you are.
Maybe there's nothing for you to become at all. Maybe you are perfect exactly as you are. Maybe the way that you were born and the way that you think is exactly how God loves it. Maybe he has no expectations for you whatsoever. Maybe he loves you when you get things wrong. Maybe he loves you when whether you are a sloth on the couch or you are a high achiever. Maybe he loves you if you choose this job, or that job, or that house or this house. Maybe he just loves it all. Maybe there is nothing wrong with us in the first place, and the only thing for you to realize is that you are perfect exactly as you are, that you are good enough, not because of anything you did or anything you can do. And maybe there is no way that you can possibly lose it because you are perfect simply because you exist.
