How to Deal with a Bad Boss (and avoid them in the future)

We've gotten a few questions recently in the community about bad bosses. So if you have ever had a bad boss, or maybe you have one now, this is an episode for you. I'm going to go over two different scenarios. One, you have a bad boss right now and you need to figure out what to do about it. Or two, you had one in the past and now you're on the job market and you're hoping that you can interview your interviewers appropriately so you don't get stuck with another bad boss. So stay tuned. I'm going to break it down for you and we will hopefully have you out of here with tips and tricks to either manage up or to figure out how to interview your way to a better situation next time.

I'm Karina Klingman, scientist turned CEO of.

A talent strategy consulting firm.

I've helped over 85 biotechs hire and.

Develop thousands of amazing employees. So I know what works and what.

Doesn'T work when it comes to landing a job and then excelling in it. I created the Biotech Career Coach Podcast to give you simple, actionable steps, step by step strategies to help you land your dream biotech job, then move up the career ladder. If you are exploring career paths, looking to learn about biotech, or simply striving to be the type of person who makes an impact and gets promoted, you're.

In the right place. How do you know the signs that you have a bad boss? Well, you're probably frustrated. That's probably one of the key signs. However, I just want to put it on your radar that there are different ways that people work in companies and with each other. So somebody who might be a bad manager for you might be a great manager for other people in the group. And it just depends on our sort of work love language. So if you've ever heard of the love languages, they are applicable in work as well, obviously in a very different way. But when you, let's say, really like words of affirmation that might also translate into how you receive feedback at work. You wanna know you're doing a good job. You wanna bit of a pat on the back so that you know to keep going forward. Maybe like gifts, if gifts are your love language, it's hard to find that at work. But monetary gifts, promotions, bonuses, those are gonna resonate with you very deeply. So think about that a little bit in terms of who you are and what works for you. Now here's a little tip we have done in the past. I know a lot of companies do this something called a teammate guide. And it's sort of a user manual for me, for you, for anybody who works in a company. And the way we've done it and the way a lot of companies do it is how to get the best out of me. So it's a guide to me. It's a guide to working with and interfacing with and being managed by or managing me. So that includes for us a personality test. We did the strengths finder assessment and also a series of questions, almost just interview questions, about, you know, how do you like to get recognition? How do you like to give recognition? What makes you excited to get up in the morning? What do you dread doing in your work? All of these things are fair game. And of course, we all have things we love and we don't love to do. We have our strengths, we have our weaknesses, and that's all okay. And so sometimes knowing your strengths, your manager's strengths, that's half the battle. So if you are stuck in a position where you feel frustrated by your boss, you don't feel that you are being managed appropriately, that might be something to sit down and candidly talk about is, could we get a teammate guide together? I don't feel that we're communicating appropriately or effectively. Maybe if we had a different language to use, we could be more productive in work. So in terms of framing this conversation, it should come from a place of helping, not frustration. I know that can be hard, but sometimes, maybe taking a deep breath and coming at it another day when you're less frustrated and saying, you know, last week I was really frustrated by X, Y, Z. I really want to put that on record. But I think we can fix this. I think we can move forward with a better communication style so that I know what I'm doing, what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong, and how I can fix it to be successful. Ultimately, I want to be successful and I want the company to be successful. So coming with that sort of language to the table can be much more impactful than coming from the lens of frustration. You never do this. You never say that. I am going to recommend two books, and I actually would like to do these as a book club here in the podcast and in the community. The two books are Radical Candor by Kim Scott and Dare to Lead by Brene Brown. These two books play very well together. They're two of my absolute favorites. I have read them multiple times each, and they give you a framework. Both of the books, in their own way, give you frameworks. For having difficult conversations. And life has many types of difficult conversations, let me tell you. But within work, avoiding conflict is often not going to get you what you want. So I'm not saying you have to go around being combative and always bringing up things and problems, but sometimes you do. And so if you are feeling like you're stuck in a relationship with a manager who doesn't get you, who is not getting the best from you, it is worth having the conversations before jumping ship. Sometimes it is really just a miscommunication. So I'm gonna give you a few scenarios here. I really want to establish what I hear and how maybe there's a reframe for what is happening. So in one example that I heard recently, somebody was very frustrated because they were late to turn in a project. This was a research based project. There were multiple people working on it, but they ultimately kind of were supposed to put together the data package and hand it into their manager. And they were late because a couple of people didn't get things done on time. And their manager came down on them for that. And so they came just absolutely frustrated to me, wondering what to do, how to handle this. They wanted to tell off their manager, it wasn't their fault, you know, XYZ happened. These other people were at fault. And my response there, and if their manager maybe had said this, this would have reframed it a little bit. But my response was, what could you have done to prevent that missed deadline? And the thing is, if you are in charge of a project, you are in charge of a project. That is your responsibility. Yes, other people could be late with their things, but if you take radical ownership of that outcome, that project, and you make sure that you have everybody on board, they all know the timeline, and you are checking in on the timeline, you can actually head that off. And in digging a little bit deeper, these individuals who were late with their data, this is not the first time. This is not the first time. So that tells me that there, this could have been an avoidable situation because it's likely they were going to be late. Now, digging a little bit deeper, it turns out that there isn't a great working relationship between this individual who was responsible for the project and the two people that were late with their data. So this is just peeling back the, the layers of this onion. This is a bigger problem than simply getting in trouble by your boss. This goes layers and layers deep. And this is a technique that we use called the five whys. That's sort of getting down. Okay, but why? And why that? And why that? Getting down and down and down until you realize, okay, there isn't a fundamental layer of trust in this group that things are gonna get done, and there isn't a fundamental layer of respect effect that things need to get done so that the whole team rises together. This is a challenging conversation to be had. This is where you book in time with your manager and you say, hey, I need to strategize with you. I am having trouble getting the best from my team, and therefore, I'm not delivering my best to you. And that is frustrating. And I want to understand how I can better support my team, get the tools I need in place to support my team so that we are all marching in the same direction at the same tempo with the same intention. So reframing this into a. Okay, how can I be better? How can I learn from this? Because I guarantee you, there's three sides to every story, right? There's your side, there's your manager's side, and then there's what's really happening. And so let's get to the bottom of what's really happening and fix that. I am not saying there are not bad bosses out there. That is one example where I would say the manager probably was frustrated with the entire situation, not this person. But it did manifest that way, having the vocabulary to approach these conversations. And you can get that vocabulary from Radical candor and dare to Lead. Having that vocabulary will set you up to be able to have those conversations when they occur in the moment, or to step back and have them later if necessary, but to move forward productively and just not in that state of sustained frustration. And that typically, that sustained frustration is what manifests as thinking you have a bad manager. Okay? So another really interesting example that I heard recently was in a bullying situation. And in this case, I'm going to put the manager squarely at fault. Again, I think this was an opportunity to have a difficult conversation. However, I think the manager should have been the one heading this off. So in this situation, the individual was being targeted by a colleague who didn't want her to succeed. And this individual in the community came to me and said that they were being bullied. And I don't know all of the details, but it essentially amounted to being undermined very publicly by another individual in the organization and being goaded, chastised, verbally abused in some cases. And she did go to her manager, and she also went to hr and she lodged complaints against the bully. Now, what's really fascinating is that workplace Bullying is a huge problem. There have been some recent studies that say up to 75% of people have either been bullied or witnessed bullying in the past couple of years in the workplace. This is really, really problematic. So. So bullying can be all kinds of things, but here are a few examples of workplace bullying. There's the obvious ones. There's obviously verbal abuse. There's obviously any sort of sexual abuse, obviously any leveraging of a power imbalance to get favors or to get someone to do something that, you know, you. You've threatened their job, their livelihood. That is bullying. There's some more insidious ones, though, too. So microaggressions are a big one. We also see that people feel undermined in their work. They feel like they can't put their finger on it, but everything they do seems to be a little bit undermined by a team member. So that team member is not rooting for their success and lifting the whole department together. That team member might be out for themselves, trying to make a good name for themselves and somehow slightly sabotaging or undermining outright sabotage. That's another one. The list goes on and on. I can't name all the different instances here, but know that if you feel uncomfortable about the way you're being treated, that might fall into workplace bullying. That is definitely a conversation to have with hr, and it's also a conversation to have with your manager. Maybe at the same time, it is important that your manager support you in that situation, and if they don't, then there's a problem. So again, I'm going to point right back to my favorite books. And in Dare to Lead, for example, there's a whole section on kind of managing up. And when you manage up, you propose solutions that are rational and backed by data to your manager in a way that gives them the ability to take those solutions and run with it. So they get to kind of steal your ideas, if you will. But it's in your best interest. So it's a good thing. There are some things you can do in the job right now. You don't have to leave your job until you have exhausted some of these opportunities to have the conversations to move the needle forward. So I just encourage you to think about that as you are maybe frustrated sitting there going, oh, I have such a bad boss. They don't get me. They're not managing me well. What could you do to help them? Hey, I just want to cut in to say that if you are enjoying this podcast, you may enjoy the building Biotechs podcast from our sister company, Recruitomics Consulting, which is a talent acquisition strategy firm that specializes in helping small biotechs hire exceptional talent. In that podcast, we interview amazing people who are building biotechs. They are industry leaders in all different verticals and it will allow you to explore career paths in biotech and to get to know companies that maybe you've never heard about. So if you are a biotech fan, you are exploring careers in biotech, I highly recommend the Building Biotechs podcast. We'll link that in the show notes or you can search for it on Apple Podcasts or anywhere else you get your podcasts. All right, back to our show. All right, in this next portion, I want to go over what you might do during interviews to avoid getting a bad boss. So I want to go back to something I said earlier about creating this teammate guide for yourself. If you're on the job market, maybe make a teammate guide for yourself so that you have more clarity around what you want. For example, my teammate guide says that I prefer when people come to me instead of with questions, they come with solutions. So it doesn't mean you can't ask me a question, but I want it phrased a certain way. I want it phrased as here's the problem and this is what I think we should do about it, and I'm going to do it by X time. It's a very, very efficient way to work, especially in a remote environment. And you know what? Most of the time they're right. If I didn't get back to them in time, that is my bad. That is how to get the best of me as a boss. I really don't like to feel like I'm micromanaging, so I don't want to answer a bunch of questions that probably you know the answers to. If you do that for yourself and you create this teammate guide and you go and you do the free strengths finder assessment, you can find that online. You will know a lot more about yourself when you go into your interviews. And then we very much encourage you to interview your interviewers. It is a really stressful time right now. I know that jobs are not just falling out of the sky and you are probably hoping to land a job and maybe not thinking you can be very picky about which job. I would encourage you to think deeply about that as a philosophy because if you end up in a job that you hate, is that better than being unemployed for a little bit longer while you find a job you're going to love? I can't Answer that for you. I just want you to think about it. So to that point, you should prepare a few questions that really hit at the heart of what you want in a job and what sort of manager you want in a job. Obviously you don't have to ask these questions to everybody in the interview team, but definitely the manager, definitely hr. What is the culture like? What sorts of opportunities are provided and specifically of your manager? I like to ask them behavioral based questions back, so you might expect to get some behavioral based questions. These are questions in the format of tell me about a time when or tell me about a project where. So they're questions aimed at getting you to tell a story. And those stories are very informative when we are using them as interviewers. We're listening for a bunch of things in the story. First of all, can a candidate get an idea across in story format? Humans love stories and it is really important for you to be able to tell a short story that is impactful, that answers the question and it goes through the whole story arc. Right? Which is the problem? What in the world is going on? How did you fix it and what was the outcome? We really want to know all of those things. This gives you that opportunity. You can flip that around and you can ask a potential manager the very same question. My favorite questions to ask for potential managers are tell me about the thing that you are most proud of, that this group has accomplished. You're going to be listening for how they describe the team effort behind that. Another great question for a manager is how do you coach people to success as the company's priorities shift? That again, you're going to be listening for them to tell you a bit of a story, to tell you a bit about the thought process behind their management style. This is a case of ask crappy questions, get crappy answers. If you ask your potential manager, what kind of a manager are you? You're going to get a really crappy answer. If you ask them, what is your management style? It's not going to be informative. If you ask them, are you a micromanager, they're going to say no, right? So you are not going to get great answers from those questions. If you ask better questions that force them to tell a story and show their work, show their thought process, you are going to get a much better insight into how they're going to be as a manager. Other questions that you can ask that I think are really valuable are what does success look like in the first six months of this position? Again, that's going to force them to crystallize what you would have to do to make them happy. And you can point back to that in the future as you get into the role, saying, okay, you told me that success looked like X. We're on track for that. Is that still what success looks like to you? Just keeping that line of communication open? And you know what? Success might change because the company's priorities might change. But that is okay, because you have now established a goal that you're running toward. And if you're going to change tax, you've already open communication about what that goal is. And then you can talk about the why for the shift. Why did the priorities shift? What are they now? What is the new goal? So that is a fantastic question. It's very powerful. And if they can't give you a good answer, that's a powerful answer in and of itself. Again, I know we are in a challenging job market right now, but I would encourage you to do this for yourself, to prioritize your happiness, your career development, and your own wellbeing during your job search process so that you find a manager that you're excited to work with and gets the best from you. This is really key. If this was helpful to you, I'd love to hear about it. Or if you want to hear more about any of these topics, I'd also love to hear about that. If you want to join the book club, let's go ahead and let's do Radical Candor first. I think that's a good starting point. So it's Radical Candor by Kim Scott. I will link to the book in the show notes and I think we should read that. Let's pick a date. I will propose the last Friday of April for that book club. Let's discuss it on Got my calendar pulled up. On April 26, I will put together a little book club. Maybe I'll invite a few people and we can make it a roundtable. If you would be interested in being in the roundtable, shoot me a note. I would love to hear from you. And as always, if you have questions, be sure to jump into Slack and ask them. We're always happy to have new members in there. It's been a really fun, growing community and that's where I get these questions. They're great questions. I welcome them. And sometimes they will do a whole podcast episode on a topic because this one, for instance, is very important. It's very relevant and it's been voiced now in multiple different ways by multiple different people in the community. I want to empower you to take control of your current work situation. Manage up if you need to, or if you're looking for a new situation, make sure that you're choosing one that's going to be exciting to you and that you are excited to work with your new boss. It is critical for your happiness. All right, bye for now. Thanks so much for listening to the.

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