CB Bowman LIVE! Challenges of the C-Suite: Guest Dr. Darjené Graham-Perez, Episode 66

Hi everybody, this is CB Bowman Live. You know you weren't expecting me today, right? I fooled you. I tell you, you gotta follow me on LinkedIn to find out what I'm up to because I'm always up to no good. And you know what, I'm— we're running a few minutes late because I had to go and get this new powder for my hair to cover up the gray so you guys can't see how— oh, I guess I'm not supposed to tell At any rate, it's so good to see you. This is Thursday, and you know, on Thursdays we talk about the workplace, about equality, equity, and inclusion. And so we always have a rip-roaring conversation with an expert, and boy, do we have an expert today. We have Dr. Darjanay, and I hope I pronounced her name right.

You did.

Over and over in my— guys, you know I'm dyslexic, right?

Yes.

Panicking that I'm gonna say her name wrong, but I think I got it. Dr. Dajanae.

You got it.

You got it. Got it. And she is an expert in so many areas, but her newest focus is on really making a difference in organizations In the DEI space through the HR space.

Yes.

You know, oftentimes we think HR is just a talking head. Well, guys, I gotta tell you, not with Dajanae. She transformed her organization, so I can't wait to talk to her and find out her scoop. And how she got people to change. Dajanae, welcome!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for that warm welcome. Um, it's my pleasure to be here, and I'm really excited to share, you know, what we have been doing, moving and shaking over at Walden Family Services. So I'm really excited to be here and share all about it.

Well, first of all, okay, I'm gonna tell you a little secret 'Cause you know I always tell secrets. She told me she was nervous being on the show. Come on, who could be nervous talking to me? Come on, sit comfortably, just wiggle in your chair, get all comfortable, and we're gonna chat, okay?

All right.

First, I want to know, because we all know that it's a struggle for our brothers and sisters to get to the top. How did you— tell us about your family life. Tell us about how you grew up, that you became a doctor. I love it. I want to hear the story. I want to hear it because I want to motivate all young folks to follow in your footsteps.

Well, um, growing up, I had wonderful, wonderful role models. Um, I actually had the pleasure of being a second-generation, um, college educated. Um, well, I would say technically third. Um, so my grandmother went to college, my parents both went to college, and my sister and I just didn't have a choice. My sister is—

You didn't have a choice?

We didn't. We didn't have a choice. Um, my sister, she went to, um, Hampton University and she went and got her, uh, pharmacy, uh, doctorate of pharmacy. And so she's out there doing, um, some pharmaceutical work. Um, but for me, my path was through education. My aunt and my mother and my grandmother all were school, grade school teachers. My aunt, she became associate superintendent. I even had the opportunity to teach in her school district after I had went to, after I graduated from North Carolina A&T. And so not only are we college graduates, but we all went to historical Black colleges and universities. And I, it's, it's my passion to share all about North Carolina. A&T State University. My sister, again, like I said, went to Hampton. My aunt went to Winston-Salem State University. My dad— I followed my dad's footsteps, and he's a doctor as well. My aunt, she got her doctorate in educational leadership. When I say we were born and bred to do this, that's exactly what—

You will do this.

We will do this. And we did. And my goal was to get my doctorate before I was 30. And I had I achieved that goal. Yes. And I was moving. And at one point I didn't want to do it. And then my husband, he really pushed me and he really encouraged me to continue to go to get my doctorate. And so I went to USC and I got my doctorate in educational leadership.

What does the husband do?

My husband? So, okay. So for my master's, After undergrad, I taught in the classroom. I wanted to get my master's, so I went to University of Hawaii, Manoa. I know, I know, from Virginia, I went from Virginia, North Carolina to Hawaii. It was an amazing, amazing, amazing experience. I ended up meeting my husband. He was active duty Marine, and we eloped. And, um, yes, after I graduated—

Story now.

Yes, yes. So after I had graduated my master's, um, we started dating, um, we then eloped. Um, he had gotten orders to California, and so that's how I ended in California. Um, and, uh, he actually just recently retired after serving 20 years, um, in the Marine Corps. And so I'm just so excited for him. Um, and he actually joined right after 9/11 had happened. And so he, yes, um, he, um, he really, he was in the initial push and he was the, um, one of the first units to get to, um, Afghanistan and Iraq both times. And so that it was, it was just, it was pretty crazy, um, to even knowing somebody and then marrying somebody, um, uh, who was a part of that. And so as we celebrated the 20-year of 9/11, um, he was, you know, kind of emotional. And so just supporting him through that and getting him through that and, and, you know, talking with him about his friends that he had lost and just being there for him, um, this past, you know, 2 weeks has been— it's been fun because he's actually been able to support me through my trials and I was actually able to support him through that. And so, yeah. Yes. And so Please. Long story short, I did— go ahead.

Please thank him for his service.

Oh, thank— I will definitely let him know.

Um, Army brat, as you could see from the hat.

My mom actually served, and so she was a major. She retired as a major, and so we used to live abroad. Yes, so you— so I was a military brat. Yes, yes, yes. Um, so like I said, I've came from excellence, and so I'm only continuing with that and being that role model for my daughter as well. When I came to California, I didn't want to go back to school. I said, I got my master's. I just want to teach in the classroom. I started teaching at a Head Start. He was like, yeah, no, you got to go back to school, because he knew that was an aspiration of mine. I applied and I got in. It was so funny. It was up until the last semester before I was graduating and I was working on my dissertation. I said, I've had enough. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to finish it.

Same thing for my master's. I stopped one year shy.

Yeah, and I was a semester— it was a semester I was gonna submit my dissertation and graduate. I was like, I don't want to. And so, um, he was like, uh, you don't have a choice, you, you're already there.

I love it, I love it. I was dating a dean, the dean of the school, and he said You want to teach here, you have to finish. I'm like, who are you to tell me?

Right?

I finished though, and I taught there.

See, see, it's a motivator. So, um, yeah, so that's actually how I, um, became a doctor. But I also had, again, great, um, role models, um, to show me, you know, kind of the way and to continue to push me, um, into You know, just let me know that it's okay, you know, it's okay. And then now I'm here.

Wow. I have to thank your family, both your new family as your husband and your old family, your parents, your grandmother. Wow, what a powerhouse.

Yes.

Oh my gosh. Um, thank them for putting you here. I'm so warmed by your story.

Thank you.

And so from all of that, then you went into D&I or DEI, or you went into HR?

Okay. So for the first 10 years of my career, um, I had— I was a school teacher, but I also had, um, really pushed forward and became an early childhood administrator. I was a director of a private kindergarten and preschool, and then I went to the school district and I was assistant director of preschool district programs or Head Start and state preschools. I also serve on a board, it's called MAC Projects in Chula Vista, and I serve on their board. I came through that program as a parent. I don't know if many of you know, as a participant in Head Start program, you have an opportunity to Do join the policy council, which helps drive decisions at the level. You know, at that time, we were able to directly work alongside of human resources. We were actually able to screen resumes. We were actually able to sit on interviews during that time. They kind of changed some of the regulations around that, but that's kind of where I got the interest in it. Then, as a director, I had to do all of the talent acquisition myself. I came into a school that I was the youngest, I was the only person of color, I was the only woman of color, and I had a lot of hurdles to overcome. There was no teachers that looked like me and there was no families that looked like me. And their board brought me on. And so it was a very exciting and challenging time period, but it was so worth it. And that's, you know, kind of coupled with my dissertation in social justice education and around equity and culturally relevant pedagogy, it really, really truly propelled me for where I am today. As a director, I ran all of the human resources, I did all the benefits, I had to do all of the onboarding, I had to do all of the recruitment efforts, and I had to design all of that from the ground up. Doing both sides of that, being a director and running this school, it really showed me the breadth of strength that I had to overcome and to pull it all together and to continue to push forward. During the time that I— after I had departed and went to the school district, I had bought in 3 teachers of color. I had more families. I had about 5 to 10 families during that time that come in that were either interracial or looked like me or a different race than when I had came in. I just transformed it and turned it around to be more culturally inclusive. I bought in as a military spouse during that time, I bought in a lot of military spouse teachers because other end of that, we are always on the short end of the stick because we move so frequently, but we have such amazing talents. And it always goes underrated because, oh, well, you know, they're getting ready to leave in 3 years or whatever the situation is. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't have the same opportunities. So I always got it for military spouses to come and teach in our organization. And it was awesome. You know, they brought in such a wealth of knowledge and experiences based off of where they've been, based off of the things that they've done based off of the different cultures that they have experienced, you know, but traveling and living in different places. And so, um, they always added something extra special to the school. And so I always love recruiting military spouses during my time there. And, um, so, yes.

Thanks.

Um, and so when I went to the school district, I had the opportunity to again, um, take that, um, take what I had learned, take those skills, and do it again at the school district level. I brought in— again, they didn't even have a Black teacher. I was the first person to serve in the assistant director role for preschool programs. I was the first person, again, to serve in that role that looked like me. At that school district, they had very few African American administrators that were African American, period. from elementary school all the way to high school and even serving at the district office. And so it was, um, it was truly a benefit to be able to bring my talents there. And then from that experience, um, although I was one of— it wasn't the best experience, but—

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, let's go back because you're making it sound all rosy.

Right? Yes.

I want to talk about specific challenges that you faced. Think back, and how did you get out of them? How did you solve those challenges? Let's talk about like 3 challenges you faced, because here's, here's the focus of this program. We want to to call attention to those who have succeeded. But we also want to be realistic and talk about the challenges that you faced.

Mm-hmm.

And give suggestions for how do you get around those challenges? How do you deal with them? So that folks that are listening could say, I'm dealing with that now. This is so good to learn. And to hear I'm not the only one.

Absolutely.

And to figure out how, how do you solve it? Where do you go? Who do you go to? So number one situation.

So my— so when I was a director, my number one challenge was obviously, um, dealing with the microaggressions at work, being the only person of color. So while that's a high-level term, um, it is so Real, no matter how many ways I changed my hair, or oh, you you you talk so eloquently, or the fact that my name is Darjanay, and nobody wanted to learn how to say my name, so I had to cut my name short. You know, coming so they would call me Miss D or Doctor D, and at the time I was you know not really knowledgeable on. that being a term, microaggression, but that's really what was happening.

I don't think that microaggression was coined and used— well, it was coined early, but I don't think it was used in relationship to everyday experiences that we face until fairly recently.

Right. And so that is— that's really what was happening. I would have— because of our policies that had been in place well before I came in, I would have white male fathers come up to me and, you know, just kind of talk down to me or ask to speak to the director, even though I had it on my name tag, right? They would, they would not engage with me. They would just automatically say, okay, well, I'm just going to go to the board chair. Or they would be like, you know, I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to somebody else.

Um, somebody who has authority and power.

Correct, correct. Uh-huh. Um, and then another one was, we again, with the long-standing policies, he was so upset with me that he sued the school. He sued the school.

Over what?

Over, uh, our— one of our policies for being non-refundable during orientation. Now it's a private school, that is, it's— that's a normal policy that many private schools have. And he sued us. So I successfully defended us in small claims court, and I had won this suit. But he was just so angry with me. And yeah, and he became angrier. But the reason why I was successful through that is because I built relationships and I had allies. And people talk about building relationships in the workplace. People talk about allyship. But what I need to tell you is that is something that truly, truly, truly benefited me and to be able to overcome those situations. In addition to that, I truly had a strong base with my sorority sisters, my line sisters. I had phenomenal women that I could just go and call and, you know, let out steam and they would guide and coach me. onto how to handle situations. Because again, I was young, I didn't— I haven't encountered that. But now I know, like, now I know what it feels like to be in that position. Um, but I had to go to battle, you know. I had teachers that would yell at me in staff meetings, um, just because they felt like they could. Um, and, you know, it, it's just some of those things that you just have to take a pill, swallow it, you know, and still, you know, rise above the occasion. Even in the moment, it was Very, very tough. Um, but through it all, you know, coming out on the other side positive, being able— stronger, being able to, um, use those tools, my toolbox. I gotta keep adding tools, right? My husband, he's a mechanic by trade, and so he has like 4 or 5 toolboxes. And all I'm like, you don't even have enough stuff to put in there. But no, I, I do. Like, you just have to keep adding too. I get it. I get it.

Tell me some of the advice that you got from your sorority sisters. So let's take, for example, um, people yelling at you in a meeting. How did you handle that?

Um, at first I had to remind them that I was the director, right? So first of all, you're talking to the director, right? And now you're dismissed. So you can go ahead and exit my staff meeting. Uh, so I told my, uh, sorority sister, and she happens to be an executive coach, she said, um, we might want to work on that approach the next time.

I don't think— I was like, I don't see anything wrong with that.

And so, um, what she did was she said, you know, And the next time, you know, you need to learn how to push past that, pull that person to the side and let them know, like, you know, there's a time and a place. And I understand that you were not happy. However, you know, have a conversation with them in private. And, you know, a lot of emotional intelligence and a lot of emotional learning that I had to overcome. So it was— It's been a doozy.

I am just loving this conversation. Yes.

And then I have one line sister. She's an attorney, and she cracks me up. She's like, oh, absolutely not. And she'll just go down all these legal terms and all this legal route on what you do. And I said, now, sis, I don't know.

Let's get real here.

Yes. But, um, they actually, uh, between the two of them, they really whipped me into shape. And so I truly, truly, I call on them even to today. Um, one of them, we ended up moving during the pandemic, and we ended up moving. So she— we never told each other we were gonna— we were moving to the same city area, but we didn't know where we were. I bought our house first, we signed, closed. She had no idea where we were, um, had moved to. She had bought a house, signed and closed. And I said, okay, where are you at? She's less than 5 minutes away from me.

Wow.

And we had no idea. And so literally, when I mean I call her at the drop of a dime, it doesn't matter. And, um, and she is there. Both of them are there, um, whenever I need them. And they've really truly helped me, um, get to this place where I'm at now. And They've heard my passion. They've heard my cries over the time while I was the assistant director at the school district. I wasn't there for a long time. I didn't have a wonderful boss. When we talk about workplace stress, when we talk about workplace inclusion, we don't talk about how bosses can be jealous of their employees that work for them. And we don't talk about how sometimes people are there for a long time, that there's no consequences. But it's true and it's real. I ended up catching Bell's palsy while I was working there, and the half side of my face was— Bell's palsy. And so that experience really truly, engaging with their human resource department, telling them about what has been going on, they were very supportive. providing them the documentation on how I was being treated, um, just went on deaf ears. And I said, you know what, no more, no more of that, no more of not being able to be supported, or no more people more concerned about people who've been there for a long time and not listening to true, true, um, issues that have been going on. And especially for a person of color in a district that didn't have many administrators of color And so there was layers and layers and layers of issues that really truly have transpired. But I just happened to be the one. And I said, no more. I took that. I took that feeling. I took being— having Bell's palsy. I took the stress of that job. Even in the middle of a pandemic, not being taken seriously or not even been even a little compassion on having a young child at home. I was told by one of the superintendents that, well, that's why I didn't even pursue administration when I had young children.

Yeah.

Talk about priorities. Talk about what are we talking about here? I said, you know what? I'm not going to deal with this and I'm not going to be bullied and I'm not going to be treated like this and nobody should be. I'm not even in a position where I have to be here. Um, after that had transpired, I just got myself together. I was like, I leveraged all of my, um, human resource talents. I coupled that with my dissertation, my background in, um, social justice equity. I leveraged all of those things and I said, you know what, I am going to switch careers. After George Floyd, after Breonna Taylor, I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to make a direct impact in my community, working with employees, working with C-suite executives to understand that we have got to see people not as just the employees, but people make up organizations. If you don't have your people, you don't have an organization or a company. To truly meet people where they are at, and then allow them the space and allow them the space to truly show their talents and make that impact. And I found my place at Walden and Theresa and Sue and their executive team, they really truly saw me. They saw what I had. They saw what I— the strengths that I could bring. They didn't really know what I had come through, But they saw me and now they are allowing me this space to operate in and to benefit the employees as well as the company and to benefit the impact that we're doing within the community. This is why I'm here. This is where I am supposed to be. Through those periods as a director and all those microaggressions that I faced firsthand, I just said in a training yesterday on transracial adoptions and fostering, And we did a session on microaggressions and all the themes that they went through, I've experienced in 4 years as a director. And then again, as an assistant director in leadership roles. And so when I mean walk that walk, I've kind of literally been through that path. And so I know what it feels like when you are in that space and you have nowhere to go and nowhere to turn to. And fortunately for me, I didn't— I wasn't there because I had to be there. I was there because I wanted to be there. And so my choice in working, it was a choice that I had to make, I could make, in staying there or no longer staying there, because I did have the support of my husband. And unfortunately, many people are not in that position.

Yeah.

And so that is—

What can we talk about for people who are not in that position? What advice would you give them?

I would say Gain, get all of your transferable skills. Um, don't be tied down to an organization that does not treat you well, because right now it's an employee market and you have options. You always have an option. And while somebody— it's— they always say grass isn't always greener, but it ain't— it's not what it is there. So I love it. It's not what it is there. And you can take that chance, um, do it, you know, just do it. Because life is just way too short. Because if you pass away, that organization is going to pack up your stuff in a box and they're going to have your seat filled by the end of the week. You take that jump, you take that opportunity, and go find something that truly, truly benefits you and serves your passion.

I love what you're saying. It reminds me of when I was younger and I called up— I hung out with more men than women because men got me, right? Well, that's what happens when you're an Army brat, right? And, um, even though I didn't travel, I still got the message of being an Army brat, right? So I remember calling a friend of mine who was a guy, all upset because the guy I was dating was acting out.

Okay.

He said to me, CB, never cry for anyone who won't cry for you. And I'm like, man, oh, drop the mic, right? Yes, it's the same thing that you're saying. If an organization doesn't celebrate you, leave.

Give them the boot. You don't owe them nothing.

Nothing.

Yes, you don't owe them anything. And the reason why I say that is because if The one thing that really struck out to me is that I always made sure that my teachers and my employees, when they work for me, utilize their benefits, right? You have a benefit, use it. You have time off, take it. We'll figure it out. But when I work for an organization that said gave me problems using benefits, what is what is why am I working for you now? You have benefits to entice me to work for you. If I cannot utilize my benefits, then why am I working for you, right? Or if you're going to give me a hard hard time on you giving me something to do and I deliver the product, but you don't like the way it was done without giving me any parameters or anything, or not letting me operate in my true space and show my true talent because you've micromanaged me, you've imparted some things on me, you stress people out. Like, who has time for that? Who has time for that? Who has time to wake up in the morning to go to your organization And to not truly, truly feel like they are making that impact. Gone are the days of having to serve in that capacity. Organizations now are really truly having to transform how they operate to do that.

So true. So true words were never spoken. I think the term has been coined the Great Resignation.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

People are saying, You know what? I've respected the organization for however long I've been there. I haven't felt it returned. It's time for me to leave.

Right.

And unemployment right now is supporting that decision because so many people are making more money on unemployment than they are on work.

Absolutely.

So people are saying adios. You know, even those who are at the top of the ladder, which I coach, are saying, you know, this organization doesn't meet my moral standards. And with the killing of Floyd, it's really emphasized that point because a lot of people woke up in shock.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm not talking about our folks. I'm talking, as you young people say, people who look like me. No, it was people that didn't look like us that said, what? This is still going on? How is this happening? And organizations that didn't come out and support the charge, people are now saying, wait a second. What? What? I thought that we were okay as an organization, and now I'm realizing we are not okay, and we're on different planes. One going north, the other one going south, or one going east and the other one going west. I think I need to jump ship, jump to the other plane, right?

Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Sadly, some of this is being done without thinking it through.

Correct.

It's an emotional charge, which I totally respect. But if you're at the top of the ladder and you're jumping ship, well, who's— who are they gonna hire? They're gonna hire somebody like you, they expected you to be.

Yep.

So maybe the perspective is to stay and make the changes that you want to see happen, right?

Well, my professor told me, she was like, you can either be the Malcolm X or you can be the Martin Luther King. You can fight it from the inside or you can fight it from the outside. For me, I've never thought about that. She said you can be MLK or you can be Malcolm X. And at first I was MLK and tried to choose a peaceful route, but it wasn't working. Um, and so I I joined an organization that truly, truly, truly is about social change. And as an organization, they themselves are a change agent. They are a Human Rights Campaign organization. They've been a Human Rights Campaign organization for many years. Human Rights Campaign organization supports the LGBTQ community. We just won our Innovator Seal, and we are welcoming and affirming to all. We have on our job postings that we are anti-racist organization. And right now, if you go and ask our phenomenal CEO, Theresa Stivers, what she is about, she will tell you straight up. She's like, this is what we are, this is who we serve. And we are serving the most disadvantaged group. We serve— we are a foster care agency. We have transitional housing. So for the youth that age out of foster care, 18 to 21 or 21 to 20, up to, can be up to 25. We have them, we have them in our program and they are all at a disadvantage. They are the Black and brown children of our state right here in our area. And we are truly making an impact with them and we have to protect them and we have to, as an organization, make a And so I joined an organization where my voice is truly heard, and I joined an organization where my CEO, my C-suite gets it. They get it. And what I mean they get it, they walk the walk and they talk the talk, and they will call you out on it. And I am truly proud to be here because I found a place where they reflect who I am, where I want to be, and they truly show, um, you know, my passion. And I'm able to do that.

Well, I am hearing that in your voice, and I am watching it in your face, and I love it. And so what I want to propose to you is my organization, WE, uh, each year we will have a collaboratory.

Okay.

And we just had one, and What we started in that collaboratory is identifying organizations such as yours that are doing best-in-class work in the DEI space. We don't mean just race. We don't mean just skin color. We mean it all.

Absolutely.

What we are focused on, this is going to sound weird, is how the treats the employees before they're focused on their customer. Because it's a trickle-down.

It is. Absolutely.

Regardless. So our first awardee was Bank of America.

Okay.

Because they're doing extraordinary work. And they started way before the killing of Floyd. I would love for your organization to apply.

Absolutely.

2021.

Okay, absolutely. Absolutely.

And I'd love for you all to be involved in the work that we're doing in the Collaboratory. So we could talk about that offline because LinkedIn will kill me if I start marketing. But it's not marketing. It's— I'm excited because Because I can hear your excitement in the organization. And for you to say that your CEO— and I heard that word, your— that's a game changer.

It is. It is.

Mostly you hear the CEO or our CEO or, you know, To CEO. You don't hear your CEO. That's a, that's a great thing, right?

Yep.

And, uh, so I want to ask you, because we have a little bit of time left, thank goodness, um, why do you think your organization has this posture?

My CEO?

You know, it's not just because of your clients, because I've heard just the opposite from organizations that are serving the same clientele, and employees are totally unhappy. So what's— what is going on? What's the magic sauce there?

Um, they listen. They, they, they are listening. They are actively listening to the needs of their employees. Why? Because, for, for instance, our CEO has been there for 10 years. Our COO started as a social worker and now she's a CEO. She's been there for 20 years. We have employees that have been there for a very long time. Um, while they are— while we are a nonprofit, they see us. The first thing that they said to me, um, even, um, as I walked in the front door was, we have really great benefits and we honor your birthday as a holiday. Right? So today is my birthday. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

And they see me, right? I always take off my birthday wherever I work, but I didn't have to because it's a holiday here. I didn't have to put in and explain why. That is just one way that they See me. They see their employees. Our COO is very involved in everything, and she actually keeps up, and she asks about our family intentionally. She truly, truly cares about our family. Our COO, her name is Sue Evans. She is actually an immigrant. She's an immigrant, and so she gets it right. So she understands what it's like to be not from the country, having to go through. the immigration process. She knows what it's like to be not American. Same with our CEO. She's Japanese descent. She's Japanese. Her family currently lives up in— her parents live in—

What? That's Japanese?

Teresa Stivers. She's the CEO. And so we're led by 2— we don't even have white CEOs or COOs in We have— they're of color, right? They're from a marginalized community running our organization, serving marginalized communities.

What country is Sue from?

She's from the UK. So I think London or England is one of the two, but it's UK. And so she— I love her. She has a strong accent. And now she is passionate about what she does in the what our workers are doing. And so this role truly, truly was— it came out of the need for the employees to truly have a different person, like a different lens to look at policies, procedures, look at our talent acquisition cycle. So right now we're in the process of updating our onboarding, pre-onboarding, onboarding cycle. We're actually, um, we've renovated our, um, interviewing process, um, and we truly want to be streamlined and be, um, leading edge when it comes to that. And when I mean that they're walking the walk, I was even able to currently partner with, um, Caravan Sarai Project within the empire. And we actually, my— myself and Walden are leading, um, the organization and getting collaborative with all other Inland Empire nonprofit organizations in the diversity, equity, inclusion. We're doing a strategic networking and planning circle, and we've collected other nonprofits, organizations serving mission-driven missions— excuse me, mission-driven, that their purpose is. We are getting together to start a collaborative so that we can now talk about all of our DE&I issues within the Inland Empire because we're kind of squeezed out. If you don't know the geography of this area, we are right next to San Diego County, really rich and wealthy. And then we're right outside next to LA County. And then we also border Orange County. And so we're poor. So we are really looking at how we can truly, truly transform our services, how we can truly transform the people and the clients that we serve within the empire through our organizations with the DE&I lens. And so what I mean, we're doing some transformative, um, things here, and I've just got to this organization back in April. I mean, we have literally hit the ground running with this, and it's their passion. It is their— it's truly, truly what they do, which really energizes me. And it energizes me because even though I didn't grow up or didn't have my career in human resources specifically or DE&I specifically, I was able to pull my experiences working with Head Start, state preschools, private schools, administration, school districts. All of those experiences I was able to now leverage here. And it truly mirrored coming from education where Because I just look at different— I have a different perspective on how policies impact employees. And I have a different perspective that I'm now able to share with Sue and Teresa. And they listen to me. They listen to me, which is another reason why I'm here. They listen to me and they consider my recommendation and we talk about it. We're able to have those tough conversations. We join a lot of webinars. talk about tough conversations. We have them, we talk about it. It's part of our conversations that we have at work. We've now infused it into our performance evaluations. We included some performance indicators along the DE&I space for our employees, and we continue to work towards updating and renovating that. We've now launched our diversity and inclusion council. We've identified 4 areas for employee resource groups. We've updated even policies such as our bereavement policy was so outdated with terminology on who was considered the immediate family and how many days you can take. A lot of times people in organizations don't truly think about that until it impacts them. What is 3 days going to do to somebody that I've lost a loved one? Who are you to tell me that Just because it's not my immediate mother or my immediate father that that person didn't mean anything to me. What if that was that person's caregiver? What if that I was never raised by my biological parents? Hence, we are a foster care agency, right? And so they are not raised by their biological parents. So who are we to say what a family makeup looks like and how many days you are allowed to have based on on the family makeup and that familial relationship. We even transformed our bereavement policy. As we continue down this path, we're looking at all of our policies and how we can make them more inclusive and more equitable. When you talk about it's not just about race, it really isn't. It's way more. It's truly seeing people for who they are and their true authentic self when they come into the organization and how we can truly leverage those talents, their self, their past experiences, and what they can offer to our organization, um, as a person, not as an employee.

Powerful, powerful information. I want to be involved with your organization. We're going to talk offline.

Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

You know, when you get older, you can get fresh.

I know, that's right. I can't wait, I can't wait.

You know, is your grandmom still with us?

Unfortunately no, but she was phenomenal. Um, it's so funny, this is really off topic, but she was, um, featured in this book called Crowns. I don't know if you've heard of it, but, um, there's like famous people in this book, and so she, um, was featured in this book called Crowns, and I hadn't seen it since I had, um, was at my mom's in Virginia. So I hadn't seen it since my childhood home. She signed it for me and everything. Um, one of my employees invited me over for, um, Memorial Day holiday or something like that, and I walked into her study and I see the book Crowns right in front of her bookshelf. And I said, you have that book? She was like, yeah, I was giving it to by someone. I said, my grandmother is in that book. I have not seen that book since I was in Virginia in my mother's home. And I walked into, um, my employee— my coworker's, um, house, and I saw that book, and I knew that this— that was my sign that said, this is where I'm supposed to be. That was my grandmother. She was saying, this is where you're supposed to be. Um, so while she's not here, she's still giving me signs.

Talk Talk about synchronicity. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love it. How long ago did you lose her?

I was a freshman in college, so 2005.

Yeah, but I can still hear— and I didn't know her, but I could hear the power she had coming through you. So that's what a, what a legacy. I know she's up there laughing her head off.

She is, she is.

I left a fiery granddaughter. Yeah, I want to ask you, do you think the success in your organization is due to the fact that it's led by 2 people who've experienced moving to a different country, who've experienced a lot of the— let's call it what it is— discrimination firsthand, so that it gives them the opportunity to feel solace with somebody who, who is either in the same position or who has a reason to reach out to your organization.

Short answer, yes, they have first— they do. They have firsthand knowledge. They have firsthand experiences of what discrimination or being discriminated against in their own capacity. And so they have firsthand experience of that. They have firsthand experience of our youth who do not have positive interactions with law enforcement. Or authority figures, period. They understand that firsthand because of their lived experiences. And so that transcends into being compassionate in how we treat our clientele and our youth, how we treat people that are interacting with them. And because of their experiences, even as adults, that they still experience, You know, they're able to understand with an empathetic lens on what our clients are dealing with, how even though as a nonprofit we do receive a lot of federal dollars, a lot of state dollars, but we don't really see— we don't— they don't give or receiving the support that truly makes a difference to provide an even higher quality program. And so, um, our CEO, she's consistently out there fundraising just so that some positions are just solely funded on fundraising because of the need of that position, but because of the need that position makes in the organization and the impact it has in the community. And so they get it, um, they get it, um, they understand it, and they've experienced it to a degree of what our youth are experiencing and living through.

2 questions I want to ask you. One is about your clients and 2 is about your colleagues. I'm just saying that in case I forget because you know.

Yes, ma'am.

The first question is about your colleagues. You mentioned that some of them have been there forever. In most organizations, that's the kiss of death.

Can be.

Why is it different for your organization?

Um, I would say there's many factors. Um, one of our employees had been there for 25 years, and she's actually seen the transition from the original founders of our organization to where we are today. And we recently had celebrated her and her accomplishments at being in the organization. And I asked her, I said, why have you been here for so long? And she said it's truly because she is really— she really sees that the work that the organization does truly matters. And if it wasn't for our organization— and by the way, we do bring on former foster youth as employees. who work in our organization. And we actually have a good amount of former foster employees, former foster youth that are employees. And she says, you don't see that. We actually take the time to develop employees in addition to, you know, the work that they're doing, but we develop them.

Wow.

We have employees that come and they're young, they start their family, they decrease their hours, they come back full-time, they go to school, they decrease their hours again, they come back, they recharge, they promote, they're leading teams now, and we develop them, right? And we are growing our employees so that in the event they do leave, they are solidified within themselves on the work that they do. And so she says, I love to see how we work with our people here. She And she says she's been doing her position now. She had come from a temp agency way back when, she'll say. But when she came over permanently, she was developed, right? They worked with her. They listened to her recommendations and they used her recommendations. They allowed her the space to transform programs and processes for better efficiency. And so if you ask, if you ask those long-term employees why they're still here, they will say something, some of that along the same lines.

That's a tearjerker. That is a tearjerker. Tell us about clients.

Um, so our clients are, um, we have a foster— we are a foster care agency. So before we did, um, family-style fostering, Um, we did do group homes. After we transitioned out of group homes—

Wait, wait, Tama, you're gonna have to explain each of these terms to us. This is—

so group home. So, um, I guess back in the '70s, '80s, early '90s, um, children in foster care, they were removed from their families and put into a group home. So it's, layman's terms, like an orphanage, but it was supplied, right? So they were put in a group home. Hopefully somebody would come and adopt them. If not, they would age out of the program at 18 and just be on their own. Okay. We transitioned to family-style treatments. And so basically what that means is when we have resource families. So the term used to be foster families and now it has transitioned to resource families.

Wow.

And so because they are a resource in the community. And that's why the term has transitioned. So we take in, we work with the county Department of Social Services, whether it's San Diego, Riverside, San Bernardino, LA, even Orange County. We take in a youth, our social worker goes and evaluates, and we place them in a home. And so they were not learning ways to live in a group home.

Home.

But when you are put into somebody's house, you are now able to learn how to operate within a family. So you are now learning living skills. They didn't have that in a group home setting. So, but in the house, you are with other siblings, um, other kids that might look like you, or, um, you might be part of the family, but you're learning how to sit at dinner. You're learning how to engage. You're learning to see what parents look like. And I say parents because, again, parents are a variety of different— they look a variety, right? Families look differently. And so you get to interact and see how it's supposed to be if you've been removed from your home due for whatever reasons. And so we transition to That, and that's our foster care side. And then we have transitional housing, and it's called the Transitional Housing Program, but the youth are transitioning out of foster care and they turn 18. We put them in homes or apartments and we set them up with stipends. Part of the thing is they either have to work or they have to go to school. They can do a hybrid of both. They get a stipend. They get a savings account. When they are— when they leave out of the program, they get all of the money that they've saved in their savings account. So they pretend to pay bills. Everything that they pay, we technically kind of put into a savings account so that they can have that when they leave our program. And so that's the foster care agency side. We also have nurturing parenting. which is a program where when parents— when children have been removed, they have court-ordered visitation or court-ordered parenting classes to get their children back. And so we have a big booming program out in San Bernardino County that truly takes in these parents and they provide nurturing parenting classes and curriculum through the First 5 San Bernardino. And They do an ACEs, which is adverse childhood screening. And so they determine what their ACEs score is. And from there, they kind of track their progress through parenting classes so that they can, after 16 weeks, they either pass or fail the course or they have to redo it. Then they are able to complete that component and hopefully they get to reunify with their children from that program. And so We do a lot, we do a lot. And so we depend heavily— a lot of foster care agencies depend heavily on state funds and federal dollars, but also fundraising. And so we— and that's how we've been surviving and thriving in our communities. And those are the type of clients we have.

This is very heartwarming, and this is Very educational. So thank you. You're welcome. If somebody—this is not an advertisement. I am just giving the information. If somebody wanted to donate, where would they do that? How would they do that?

Um, it's super easy. You could just go to Walden Family Services website. At that way. too fast.

So is it W-A-L-D-E-N Family Services?

Mm-hmm. Um, and, uh, on our page it has a place for donations.

Is it .com or .org?

.org, I believe. Let me double-check.

Let me double-check because now it's like Gourmet dot. It is. It truly is. Inc. Company.

It is at technically. Let me get the technical term. Waldenfamily.org. Dot org. Okay. Waldenfamily.org. And you'll see on our website our mission, our vision. You'll see. See the everything I just shared, and then you'll have an opportunity to donate there. And or you can reach out to our CEO, and she's phenomenal. And so the name of the CEO Teresa Teresa T E R E S A Stivers. So slowly. I forgot. Just I forgot. Okay, Stivers S T I V. C-E-I-B-E-R-S.

And Theresa?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, so not just for me but for others, you know, when you— when we know something, we go blah blah blah, others are trying to catch it.

Yes, yes, yes.

Now, do you also have volunteers that work with Um, that would probably—

I think we do. Um, I just don't think we're doing it right now during the pandemic. Um, but I do think that we do. Um, I'm just not— I would not know that full complete answer yet. That would, um, have to run through the pipes, but I do believe we had taken them.

Yeah, because a lot of programs that took on volunteers and need volunteers, there was a Halt called because of COVID So correct, it's good to know if somebody's interested, they could track through your website when that— if that is when it'll start up again. Okay, so great to know. Tell me, how do you— oh God, we're out of time, but I do want to ask this last question.

Okay.

How do you define Who comes into the foster program? What are the requirements?

For foster care, um, we, we believe— from my understanding is they come through us from the county. So we get our, our children from the county, or they call us directly. But to get families, we have a lot of outreach programs. Um, foster families can come to us. Um, we're always, um, wanting more foster families to house all of our children that we have. And we— and there is a lot of children in our— in the foster care system. And so, um, they, they come to us, we do outreach programs. Again, you could, um, go to the website and, um, submit, you know, your application there as well. Um, and that's kind of how we get foster families, and then they go through that whole process to see if they qualify. But when we— when we get— when we do intake for children. We typically get them through the county. They always have a county social worker. And/or for our transitional housing youth, again, they transition out of the program, we connected them either from our program or the county will send them to us to get housing because we know we have a lot of, especially the LGBTQ youth, they're out on the streets and homeless. And so we're able to get them and get them housed. And that's why we're a human rights campaign. We march in Pride Parade in San Diego, um, every year. We've, you know, we're recognized as supporting the LGBTQ community, families, resource families, all of them.

Well, I don't care now that we're out of time. I want to find out a little bit more about this. Why are the folks who are part of the LGBTQ community, the youth out on the street, would you say that that's more than people of color? What's going on?

No, because our youth are all but mostly Black and brown youth, but they could be a part of the LGBTQ community. It is just what it is. I just think that it's just the statistics of it, um, the studies that have been done on, um, them, them being there. I, I, I just know that, um, through our organization we're able to support them and house them and really help them. Even some of the ones that are transitioning, um, from one sex to the other, we are able to help them through that as well.

So is there a higher Is that what's going on?

Um, and so we have to train our families, um, through that process as well because, you know, sometimes they'll say, well, I don't want a youth that's part of that community, I don't want to talk about it, or whatever the situation is. And, um, unfortunately, you know, we don't go shopping for kids. This is not a magic wand that you go down, or you can't just go down the aisles and go say, oh, I want my— I want the child to look like this. I want the child to look like this. I want them to have— we don't do that. Or special needs youth or really just marginalized. And so we really truly have to train our families, work with our families, and let them know that our youth are exploring who they are. We even have to take, um, sex trafficking classes because what happens is they are also at a higher risk for being trafficked, um, one way or the other because they're given the promise of food, housing, clothes, but under just under disguise of they have to do something for this. And so we really tried to—

Your foster parents are sex traffickers?

No, no, no, no, no, that's— no, I'm just saying that our youth are exposed to that if we don't get them. Like, if we don't have them in our program, they are at a higher risk for that. But it's about training. Like, even our foster parents have to even know what those signs are because it can happen. And so we send them through training.

Are you saying also that the sex trafficking, that the folks that are part of the LGBTQ+ community have a higher risk than those that are of A racial—

I would just say that in general, foster youth and youth that are not, that do not have a family unit to go home to, who do not have resources, do not have proper housing, do not have job, are not in school, or do not live on campus have a higher risk of that, just in period.

Makes sense.

They don't have— they don't have anywhere that supports them to get those needs covered.

This is, you know, it's a sad subject that we don't discuss, we don't have enough information about. And so I'm really appreciative to you to coming on and informing us about what's going Mm-hmm. And I do hope that somewhere out there, there's somebody who is interested in supporting your program financially or as a volunteer, because you're doing incredible work. And thank you for doing that. It's got to be heart-wrenching work, but at the same time rewarding, especially when you see folks that have gone through the program come back and work Absolutely.

Absolutely. And so it's just phenomenal just to see the whole transition happen from start to finish. And when we do have youth who are successful, and we have many who do end up in college, graduating from college, and are able to have a flourishing career. And a lot of our— the several former foster youth employees, they're able to get married, they have children now.

That's great.

they have flourishing careers, you know, and they're able to do it with us, or some of our youth are just able to just be whole in general. And, and it's just a beautiful picture and a beautiful cycle to see.

Well, I also hope that amongst our listeners that if anybody is available to offer a scholarship program for education, Please reach out. Yes, to our doctor here and Dr. Darganay and, um, help, help some folks that really need some support.

We do. Thank you. I appreciate that, CB.

Thank you. Well, guys, we are over by about 9, 10 minutes, and I'm sorry, but no, I'm not, because And the truth, right?

Yes.

It's been an incredible conversation. I don't even know how we met each other. I, I think we've met now for the first time, but, you know, um, Jar has, has identified you as a person to be on the program, and I will send her a note saying this was— you're an amazing You know, thank you, our family. And so thank you, this is wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank Teresa, thanks Sue for being wise enough to bring you into their family. And I'm so happy that you are all now part of our family.

Yes.

So with that, everybody, you've heard my secrets for today. I'm not sure when I'm back. on Thursday, but I know I'm back on Tuesday for Challenges of the C-Suite. So I will see you on Tuesday, and watch LinkedIn and watch your email to know when I'm back on Thursday, what I'm up to, because you know I move like the wind, so you got to keep up with me. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful, wonderful day. And Have great success. Dr. Dajanae, it's been my honor, my pleasure, and I hope you'll come back and tell us more about your programs.

Absolutely, and I look forward to it. Thank you so much for having me on your show today. It's truly been, um, a wonderful experience and an honor to share all about myself and what the work that we're doing in our communities.

I told you not to be nervous.

You did, you did.

Okay, hang on now.