My 4 Favorite AI Business Ideas for 2025

Transcript of a Kerner Office podcast episode (YouTube) featuring Chris Koerner and Nick discussing small-business growth hacks and AI-enabled startups. Major themes: productizing local lead generation via Facebook groups (charging $750/month), creative content monetization with negative CAC (YouTube mowing/power-washing videos), AI-generated daily/short-form podcasts and summaries, and niching in global staffing/outsourcing. The episode mixes tactical ideas, founder anecdotes, and comedic banter.
Chapters
I just think it's genius of him. He listened to your hack that you've used and he applied it in a way that you hadn't used it. He's productizing it and selling it to business owners. Boomer. Business owners that don't know how to do it anyways and charging them 750 bucks a month. I think it's freaking genius.
Welcome to the Kerner office. Today, Nick and I chatted all kinds of cool business ideas that I think you'll love. So I'm going to start calling this type of episode the Holdco Bros. And I think you'll enjoy it. I'm kind of mad because I had another episode planned to come out today, another Q and A with business owners, as I'm known for doing, but the audio was all messed up, so I had to put in this episode of Nick and I also I changed the numbering of these episodes. So if it looks like I released a whole bunch of episodes overnight, I didn't. I just changed how they're numbered. So it's a lot more clean now. Anyway, enjoy. Have you ever heard me talk about on Twitter or wherever, how it's very advantageous for people to go into local Facebook groups and talk about, hey, I'm a young guy, or hey, I just started a business, I'd love your support and generating leads that way. You've seen that bit?
Yeah.
So I talked about that a lot when we launched Fast Tree Care and that's how we got our first jobs. James went into these local Facebook groups and said, I'm James, I just graduated from college. And you're basically playing on everyone's pity gene, right? Like they want to support you. They like supporting entrepreneurship and it works. And so I met this guy recently.
I don't think it's a pity gene. I don't think it's a pity gene, but I think it's I want to.
Help out support gene. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. So I met this guy named Danny and he productized this based on my idea. And he's charging 750 bucks a month to business owners to log in to local Facebook groups on the business owner's Facebook account so they'll share their login info. And he goes in there and basically gives that pitch, systemizes it, sends everyone to a Google form and generates leads from the business owner for 750 bucks a month. What are your thoughts?
Shut up. Are you serious? He got this idea from you Serious?
Yeah.
What royalty are you getting?
You know that kid that emailed us about his billion dollar landscaping idea.
That's him.
That's him. That's him. Yeah. No way. So he wants to use this model to scale a landscaping business nationwide with, like, college students. And I think there's a lot of merit to this. There's a business around the corner from me called we all know about college hunks hauling junk. There's one. There's one around the corner. They have wrapped purple trucks, and it's called.
Oh, jeez, the purple Company.
Something about pay my student loans. Let me see.
No, that's an only fans, I think.
I don't know what you're talking about. College Fund landscaping.com. college Fund landscaping. So, okay, these guys have a bunch of acreage on a busy road with a ton of rap trucks out front, which tells me they're doing really well. And I think that they productized that little hack of playing on people's supportive gene or pity gene or whatever you want to call it.
So here's why I want to talk about the idea in particular in a second. But first I want to say this is why I love Facebook. I know a lot of people younger than us in particular are not big on Facebook, but who is really big on Facebook? People our age and older in particular. Boomers. And when you look at their, you know, that demographic, they have money to spend. They are more likely to spend their disposable income. So you are going to a group of people where they're gathered that have actual money to spend. And when you go to these Facebook groups with these owners, sometimes it's like shooting fish in a barrel because they just have no idea about technology. They have no idea how to optimize things. And how many businesses have you done? Like you, you bought a Facebook group with one of your companies that I won't mention that you, you know, that you ended up turning into a funnel for business just by buying the Facebook group and then funneling them to your business. Right. So I think there's a ton of opportunity with these Facebook groups. The second thing in particular, I just think it's genius of him. He listened to. To your hack that you've used, and he applied it in a way that you hadn't used it. He's productizing it and selling it to business owners. Boomer business owners that don't know how to do it anyways, and charging them 750 bucks a month. I think it's freaking genius.
I know. I think it's funny seeing people pick up with stuff that I talk about and It's I see them launch it and they're successful and it's just, man, if I had more time, that would be me. I might not be doing it as well as you because this kid's crushing it, but I could totally do that. So just yesterday I was looking at a business called, what was it? After dot com. I think it's after.com where it's these guys at a Provo, they raised a bunch of money to productize cremations, human cremations. And so they partnered with cremation facilities around the country and they have just like three products on their website. 900, 1200, 1500. And what was interesting was I went into similar web and did some digging on where they're getting their traffic from and it's all from Facebook because 60, 70, 80 year olds on or on Facebook, so where else would it come from?
What are they doing out of Provo? Like they have a cremation company that they're providing the cremation services for or they're helping.
Just white labeling human cremation services.
Okay.
Yep.
Jeez Louise, talk about dark.
Anyway, my point was they're getting all of their traffic from Facebook because that's the demographic.
Right. If you want to talk about it, what do you think of Danny? Is his name how he's pitched us launching this college landscaping company using this method? Because he. So for those who don't know, Danny just reached out to us, cold sent us an email. I responded back to him and said, hey, seems like a cool business idea. Why don't you actually put together a deck and send us a proposal? So he put some time into it and actually sent over a deck with the proposal. And anybody who's on Twitter, he wrote a good hook. It was like billion dollar idea, sent it to us. And Chris and I have looked at it, but we actually haven't had a chance yet to actually debrief on it. And if you don't want to talk about it now, we can talk about it, you know, offline. But what do you think of his idea and what do you think of like actually partnering with him to launch something like this?
I think there's just like universal law in business where it's like more headache, more logistics, more potential scale, more potential profit. And I'm like, I'm this old boomer, 37 year old, that's like less headache, less profit. I don't care, I just want. I'd rather do 12 things with less headache than two things with much headache. And so I Want to partner with him on this lead generation thing and just find a bunch of people to generate leads for through their local Facebook groups. Right.
Forget about the landscaping idea because there are just so many operational things that you have to manage in order to execute that. Well, he's talking about using college students in all these different towns. Essentially it's a franchise. Right. Whereas with this, you don't have to franchise it. You can be central, you can find these businesses and you can scale it fairly well. I shouldn't say fairly easy. Much easier than you could having to go through college students. I agree with you on that. I love the idea of utilizing the college students. And he reached out to us because we have over 35,000 applicants to our co founders program and he's, hey, we could use the co founders network in order to launch this. But yeah, I think it'll be more profitable and less operational headache to launch something that's helping these essentially boomer Facebook groups maximize. Facebook.
Yeah, we're talking about landscaping already. So let's just go down the line and I want to talk about that guy on YouTube who has a channel with millions of subscribers that just mows people's lawns for free and he films it and then he posts the videos and his whole pitch is, hey, let me mow your lawn for free. Why would you do that? Well, because people watch it on YouTube. Okay, weirdo. Sure. I feel like this could be. You could do this with any industry, right? You could. And there probably are people doing it in other industries that I just haven't researched yet. But you've got negative CAC for those that don't know what negative CAC is. Negative customer.
What did you just say to me?
Cost, which you take. You take someone like Kevin Espiritu who has the epic gardening channel and YouTube pays him to sell raised planters on his YouTube channel. So this customer acquisition cost is less than zero because he's getting paid to market to his customers. I feel like this is like a different version of negative cac. And I almost look at my show the same way where it's like, hey, I want to consult for your business. Well, how much? Well, it's free. Well, why would you do it for free? Because people are going to listen to it on the Internet. Right? Like that model, I think is in its early, early, early days. And you could apply it to almost anything, especially to things that are like ASMR or things that are relaxing to watch, like even like an assembly line video or the how it's Made show. Right. Like, just monetizing. Taking videos of cool things. Like, do you remember that episode I had, episode two or three, the Tesla wheel repair and then Tesla car washing.
I know it's an episode, but I never listened to it. Yeah, I know which episode you're talking about, though.
Yeah. So this guy basically said, why aren't there people washing Teslas at every supercharger? And it's like. It's a great question. Why aren't there? You just sit there for 30, 40 minutes. And the haters, aka the rational people, the. What about insurance people, they would say, well, you can't. Electricity plus water, Those people, they would say that, you know, you can't charge a car while you wash it, but you can put rovers on Mars. We can figure out how to do that. It's like a plastic bag or something, right?
Yeah. If they can give my grandma a bath in a skilled nursing facility without taking her out of the bed.
Okay.
We can figure out how to wash a Tesla without frying its circuit. Hey, and I just want to say.
We can get there.
I just want to say. I'm going to go tell this to my wife tonight, actually. So it's actually the smaller the CAC the better.
Right?
Is that not.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm sorry.
I'm just going to power through that. We're. We're going to call this our power through it segment.
We have a power through it segment every five seconds, which actually five seconds is a really long time. But I think what's interesting about what you're talking about is he wouldn't have had the negative CAC unless he had the distribution. So. So I can't remember his name. Espiritu on YouTube. Or the guy who mows lawns. Kevin. Kevin. Or the guy who mows lawns. Nobody's going to care to watch their lawn mowing video. At first. They've got to build up an audience, and then when they go mow the lawn for free, they're able to essentially monetize off of it. Let's brainstorm. What are some other industries you could do this for? I know you've got like one on the tip of your tongue.
Honestly, I didn't do a lot of research on this topic.
Well, it's. I'll jump. I'll jump in, because that's fine. It's similar to power washing, for sure.
Power washing for sure.
Oh, gosh. Yeah, it's got to be. It's got to be a visual. Like there's got to be A visual component to it.
Right.
Because that, that just captures eyeballs where. Oh, man. This is the before and after. So power washing falls into that. Mowing falls into that. Probably tree trimming would fall into that.
Oh, gutter cleaning. Right. Just like the act. Really good one unclogging all those gutters. Or the visual of the water, like coming out the downspout.
Oh, dude, that would be.
And ever. Like it's something that anyone could use. It has to be a service that any homeowner could use at any given time. So, like, roofing doesn't work. Right.
Have you watched those YouTube videos? It's called Primitive Builders.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So it's these guys in, like Thailand who go in the middle of.
If you're a red blooded American male, you've stayed up late watching those videos. Okay.
Like, my kids have loved those videos. But the cool thing about it is you just see them build over time and there's no talking because none of them speak English. You could have a YouTube channel that's cleaning gutters with no talking, where it's like the mix of ASMR and. And the video where, you know, the washing and then the unclogging and then whatever the guy's swearing when he smashes his finger. But okay, I like the gutter cleaning. You know what else would be a good one? And they've actually done these before, like the before and afters of guys who have disheveled beards or like bad hair. And you're a hairstylist and you go cut hair.
So one of the commenters on YouTube right now, Audi, he said salons. So that's. Yeah, exactly.
What's up, Audi?
You guys are. You guys are syncing up.
He gets me. He gets me. I like this. Obviously, home services makes a lot of sense.
Yep.
Cool.
Let's talk about AI generated podcasts for a second. So tell us, Nick, what you learned, what you learned today. All right, so background is there.
Chris and I both launched podcasts in the last few months. To be specific, Chris launched his pod podcast on February 22nd. I launched my podcast on April 28th. Gosh, can I talk today? I launched my podcast on April 28th. Before Chris launched his podcast, we had an experiment back in. Started in August of last year with Brandon, who's on Braden. Sorry, Braden, who's on Twitter as well, where we said, could we create a AI generated podcast? And it was pretty simple. We cloned Chris's voice and then we went and found stories. And I'm using. We liberally Here it was Chris. We went and found stories online that had lots of views and that were popular, that Chris had compiled in a library from all these different places that he had read them and fed the text through a filter and then used the cloned AI voice of Chris, combined those two and we created these five minute segments called Startup Gems. They were just quick stories and we released those every single day for about four months. And it was cool. We had some traction. We were getting, I don't know, 10, 20, 30 downloads a day. Chris probably in that range. And.
Yep.
And when Chris and I decided to do podcasts, we had the conversation he's had.
You.
Do you care if I transitioned Startup Gems to now be at the Kerner office? And I didn't care. I was like, well, it was your voice and your mo, most of your stories.
At that point, we were getting like two downloads a day too. We purposely didn't want to push it. We wanted to see could we just keep uploading and could it grow on its own. And it could not.
And so there was this content library of, I think 90, I think there's about 90 episodes. 88, I think maybe there's anyways, 90 episodes that were there. And then Chris launches his podcast on February 22nd. Well, I track our downloads every single day. And I like to look at what percentage of the people downloading are listening to old episodes, because to me, that says people are binging on old things. So I pulled up Chris's metrics today and I was like, why is it so freaking high? People are listening to a lot of his old episodes. And yesterday, about 10% of the downloads for Chris's podcast went back and were listening to these AI generated podcasts that we had created. And they're the perfect kind of fit for his audience. Right. They're five minutes, they're business stories, they're engaging. It's his voice, and they're just really quick to get in and out of. And it was just an aha, light bulb moment for both of us. Not even an aha. I should say a validating moment for both of us because we believed in content. We believe that building a library of content is valuable. And it was the validation of that thesis by looking and seeing. Oh, man, 130 people listened to this old podcast that we'd forgotten about just yesterday just because we're continuing to put out content.
Yeah. So I think that AI generated podcast should be more of a thing, but it should be done in a different way where the business owner or the Podcast owner discloses up front, like, this is AI generated, which is why you're getting so much of it. It's more of a quantity game. And I think you could do it really interestingly with things like let's take Seinfeld fans, right? You could get AI to review every episode or to summarize every episode or something. And it's just programmatic. It's automatic. Every single day a podcast is uploaded. And it's very asymmetric because Your cost is $18 a month. That's what you pay to host the podcast. And your time is. It's a zero time. Once you get it set up, you could have Zapier auto uploaded every single day. And you're not trying to trick people. You're telling people it's AI generated, but you're basically feeding them content that when they get to the office, they're seeking out anyway. So maybe it's just a summary of yesterday's news. Maybe it's hyper niche, like a summary of, you know, home, health and hospice news from the day before.
Dude, I just had this idea. You should take all of this, the startup gems, podcast episodes, or I will, if you don't want to do this, and upload them to your YouTube and put them on a playlist. Like, people would binge on those. They would totally binge on those. And it's sticky and it keeps people there and it doesn't necessarily confuse your episodes. You know what I mean? Necessarily. But I think that would be a genius idea because what you're trying to do is you're trying to get people to trust you. You're trying to build trust at scale. And what builds trust is you have to get to know somebody. And that's why podcasts and newsletters and Twitter and YouTube are so valuable, because it gives you a platform for people to get to know you very intimately. So anyways, I think that would be a genius idea.
Another thing you can do on YouTube, I don't know if you knew this, but when you upload a podcast or when you upload a video, you can elect for it not to show to your subscribers. So if you just want to be test something and just see if the algorithm picks it up, but you don't want to spam your subscribers. You just check a box and you upload it.
So what about a service that takes the tweets from the people that you have notifications on for? And this could be any social media platform. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, whatever. And then every morning it's auto Generated to say, here's the recap from yesterday, right here. Here were the most popular tweets. Here's what's going on with Twitter. Because how do you find out what's going on right now is you just scroll and it takes time for you to get caught up on what's going on. And it's not proactive, right? Like you have to go out and seek it out. But that would be cool to just give people a daily, hey, here's what's going on. Hey, here's an update on your industry. Hey, here's what's going on in this community that you're working on, right? It could be. I'm on this WhatsApp group with these other healthcare entrepreneurs and I missed two days worth of the conversation. And in those two days they had a ton where they just went through and I was like, I'm not going to go back and read this. You know what I mean? I could do it on my family texts too. I'm like, my mother in law is texting me about the baby photo that she took 35 years ago. I'm like, I'm not gonna. I'm just not gonna look at it. I don't. I'm not gonna read this stuff. So I just check out. But it'd be nice to be like, hey, can you just AI. Can you auto summary the last 50 texts and just tell me what I missed? That would be so helpful for me instead of just ghosting people back to the Twitter idea.
You could even have Zapier say, hey, I only wanna see. I want you to read me tweets from people that I follow that had over 50, 000 impressions. Just read me those. Let me filter through all the crap that no one else thought was interesting either. Then you could block Twitter on your phone, right?
That's super interesting because then you're combining the clubhouse air chat phenomenon where people like, we like to listen to audio with Twitter, right? Or it's just read me the tweets. You could even record your own voice. You could have it recorded in somebody else's voices and it was like, you know, it'll be like. That would be funny to read those tweets though. Could you imagine? Hey, Siri, read me the tweets from yesterday. Sure thing. Here's a text from Nick. Tweet from Nick Huber. If you have blue hair, I will not hire you any. Mary.
Instagram is a red flag. I hired over, I installed for my tendon tenants. I added $400 to the monthly rent by adding a deck. It doesn't even look dangerous. Wouldn't you agree?
I read 17 hours worth of Nick Huber's book so you wouldn't have to. Here's what I learned about self motivation. A thread.
Oh, no. Hey. So this is the freemium service that we offer. But then the premium service for 4.99amonth is what we call the Huber filter, where it just filters all that out.
Well, he probably just needs it for himself because he's. I own a real business now. I can't be just, you know, crap tweeting at everybody. That would be funny. He, like, gets on his phone, he's about to tweet something. Nick, don't tweet that. Take me to the island. I want to go to the island with you.
All right, so going off the rails.
I really like that idea, though. I really like that idea about.
I agree.
Somehow utilizing AI to either put out, organize, summarize content information that is that currently is not in an aggregated place for you to go look at.
Do you remember the Robin Hood snacks podcast I used to listen to? I had those two guys, it was a daily podcast. It was like five to 15 minutes and they did not skip a day for two, three years. And it was live, it was real. It was basically financial news from the day before. And they would record it like at four in the morning every single day. Like even the day after they got married. Everything. I feel like you could do something very similar, but automated, like a daily summary of X, Y or Z niche news. And it just, it's all automated. It updates automatically, generates the info automatically. And.
Well, dude, you saw, I think Thomas Newell created a custom chat GPT bot for co founders for you and I. Like, he took our episodes and he fed them through an LLM or whatever. Like whatever it is. You could do the same thing. You could train AI on you and I, like, upload all of our episodes and then have a separate thing go and scrape news. And it's here's the five minute, here's know co founders news for the day. And then marry those two things with our personality, clone our voices and have the data being scraped every day. We should stop talking about this and take this offline. This is a billion dollar idea. Margaret, clear my calendar.
We have ones of people listening right now, so they're probably stealing it right now.
Oh, my gosh, it's incredible. One thing that I've been thinking about this week in particular, and it goes along with this AI piece Is. You know who Chamath is from the all in podcast, right? Yes. He's launched this. He's launched this fund called I think it's 8010. And the idea behind the fund is we're going to use AI and we're going to essentially copy any of the major tools out there. We're going to get you 80% of the functionality for 10% of the cost. Oh, you use Salesforce, but they're really expensive. No, with AI now I can use whatever a developer team gets you 80% of the functionality for 10% of the cost. And so like his whole bet is software is going to become a lot more tailored to individuals as opposed to it just being this big enterprise platform that you pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to then tailor to your specific company. So I'm really interested in this idea right now. And one of the areas that I think that it applies is in staffing. And I know that you feel this way, but being on Twitter, it's like, oh man, the global talent market is saturated with people who are finding talent and then placing them here in the United States. There's so many companies that are doing it, but when you zoom out, there's not really that many companies doing it. It's growing like crazy. It's a space that people are investing in and that is only getting more and more saturated. But it's is by no means saturated. I think that people can stake out their claim by niching down in that space. So what I mean by that is right now, you know, you and I have talked about this. Could we launch one of these businesses with our distribution? Yeah, but then we'd have to, you know, we'd have to go out, we'd have to actually find a team in the Philippines. We'd have to. Or whatever country we're sourcing them from. We'd have to manage them, we'd have to get a pipeline. We don't have a sales team. Like, it's a whole infrastructure build out that you'd have to get. But what if we didn't do any of that and we just niched down and said, hey, we want to provide global talent specifically for leads. That's it. That's the only thing that we do, is we do lead generation or lead generation. Okay, exactly right. Or I want to do outsourced talent specifically for video editing and content creation. That's. That's what Sahil Bloom's new company is. Or we do global talent specifically for home services. And in that model, I think Somebody like us could launch it and then white label it with an existing international company. So we're like, we're filling the niche need of people who want a specific type of employee, but then we also don't have to build out the infrastructure on the back end. I actually think that's what Sahil's doing. I could be totally wrong, but when Sahil posted about, hey, I'm launching this company, Nick Huber, like, very next line is, man, you're gonna crush it. I'm really excited for you. There's space for everybody in this market. Nick doesn't do that crap. Nick is like very butthurt, very easily. He's very competitive. He doesn't like people being in his white labeling it. I think there's. I think there's something potentially there where he's white labeling it with Sahil, and so he'll generating all of this stuff, but then it's just funneling for back. Back office fulfillment to. To support Shepherd.
I don't know how I didn't notice that, because I saw his comment and I thought, huh, that's weird. Well, they're friends, so whatever. But think about their revenue models. They're totally different. Shepherd charges like, it's. It ends up being three to five grand one time, and Sahil's is charging three to five grand every month. And so if shepherd says, hey, we'll give you. We'll give you 40% off. So it's going to be 2,200 bucks per placement. You're going to make that back in month one. And. And then Saheel's company doesn't have to do any work whatsoever. And Huber's thrilled because it's just more volume and their margins are 80%, so little less margin on those, but it's just a bonus.
Well, and like a little inside baseball here we have a friend who knows people in that space, knows the Huber Sanchez space. And he posted something. One of those influencers liked it and reposted it. And then they took it down because Huber reached out to them and was like, hey, could you take this down? It's competing with one of my. He felt like it was competing with one of his businesses, right? So if he's that petty about something small, I can't see him being, like, cool about Sahil launching something. So in my mind, friends are not agreed friends or not.
It's funny because the Shepherds of the world got their start by unbundling upwork. Right? You upwork leads the pack. You unbundle upwork by doing it more in a more niche, different way. And now people are unbundling shepherd because that's all Landed is doing. They're just so. It's just the unbundling never stops. Right, Right.
And it makes sense because the more niche you can get, the faster you can grow. And then, you know, eventually when you're so niche. I talk about this a lot where in software, there's this concept of land and expand. You get into a service offering and then you start offering adjacent services. Right. And it's the same in business. You start an agency doing, I don't know, pay per click, and then you start buying other companies that are now doing SEO and other companies that are doing Google my business and other companies that are doing lead generation. Like they're all adjacent to what you're offering, but you're using that central piece, cash flows to start buying other businesses that can. That you can gobble up and piece together. I think. Think it's the same thing. Like they're doing the unbundling to start and then they grow into being able to offer a bunch of different services.
Yeah. Because I think the secret sauce with shepherd is the fact that they don't have to just go post to upwork every time they need someone. They have their own internal database now. And so Landed is skipping the line by leveraging their existing database. They don't have to worry. All right, this person that Shepherd's handing over, are they going to be any good? They're pretty sure that person's already been vetted and maybe working for them on other projects for the last two to three years. They're good. So the quality, they have quality from day one.
So I know the answer to this question. But for people who aren't, who don't know and that are listening, what is landed? I know it. I know what it is. I know what land it is. I just. For them. Will you explain to them what land it is?
That's the Hills company that we've been talking about.
Gosh dang, can you.
Muhammad, you've been talking about it, too.
I'm so stupid. I don't. You know me. I like, read three words in a post and I'm like, okay, cool, I got the gist. And I move on.
No, it's called autism. And I know. It's all good. It's all good.
I'm an artist. You want me to say what?
Speaking of that, I have a retraction I need to make. I got to make a retraction you ready for this? Okay.
Yeah.
The last time we spoke, we mentioned. We talked about our pet cremation business, Sunbeam Paws, and Stephen Hale, our close friend at HCare advisor guy who lives near me. My house, this morning when we bought the van. This sounds, like, really serious, but I'm actually just trolling Stephen right now, so I'll bury the lead. I'm not gonna be able. I bought the van with a loan. Remember, we talked about the loan, and then the lender said, this is. There was some weird quirk on the title, and. And they were like, you can't buy this as a business. You have to buy this as an individual. So then Steven stepped up and he said, I'll buy it. And so then he listened to our podcast and he's.
You didn't tell everyone that I bought it. You saw them that you.
So let me be very clear. Stephen Hale bought the van, Cash, because he is a rich and attractive man. And I was wrong in our last podcast, and I genuinely apologized to him.
Oh, my gosh. I'd be freaking so butthurt. I'm actually, like, butt hurt for him because I'm, like, sitting here, I'm like, chris took the loan out. He took a slug signing that pg. Hey, guys. I just felt like it was something I could do to contribute. Okay. I felt like it was something I could do to contribute.
Spoiler alert. Trying to do my part. Cash. I'm a value add guy.
It ain't much, but it's honest work. That's freaking.
And with that theme. Now that we're talking about burning dogs, I want to talk about some of the KPIs that we have. Okay. We got our DBPM dog burn per month. Tracking very closely our CPF. That's cats per Fahrenheit. If we want to know how fast the incinerator is running, we're tracking our ttp. Tails turn to powder. These are the KPI. I just wanted to get you up to speed because I know we haven't touched base on this business for a while. I'm sorry. Could you start.
Cancel those one more time. Name those one more time.
EBPM dogs Burn per month. Cpf, Cats per Fahrenheit. And TTP Tails turn to powder.
Oh, my. Okay, what about pbm?
What's that one?
Puppies burn for month. We don't track puppies.
Well, we are always trying to optimize. We're trying to optimize for our rob our rate of burn so we can have our PBL dialed In which is our pause before lunch. So.
Chris, you wrong for that. That's pretty good.
We're canceled.
That's pretty good. All right, what do we got next?
All right, so I. I want to. You know how I have that Apple Notes folder on my phone where I write down stand up bits? Because one day I'm going to do a stand up bit.
Yeah.
I want you to. I want you to review them on a scale of 1 to 5. Okay.
Okay.
Can you do that for me?
Just help me out.
1.
What's five for you?
It's not funny.
For you.
Five is like, Chris Rock, Nate Bargad, Netflix special. One is like, hey, Chris, just leave that out. Leave that out. Are you ready?
Okay. Yeah.
So yesterday I went to the bathroom at the office. 1. And I went to go to the bathroom. That's not fair. And it had not been flushed. Okay. I don't want to be too graphic, but someone went number two in the bathroom. Okay. And I was just like. But I didn't have a choice. It was my only toilet. Okay. So I was just like, this is disgusting. And then I thought about how silly that is. How if you take the average person, you put two toilets side by side, you're going to elect to poop in the one that doesn't have poop in it already, Right?
Of course.
And it's like the one that has poop in it. It's like the mindset is, somebody pooped in this. Oh, it's disgusting. As if the one that doesn't have poop in it has never been pooped in. What do we think? How do we feel about that?
It's a two. It's two. I think you could refine a little bit.
Yeah, it's a two. It's a two.
Refine.
I don't even like that one. I don't even like that one. Okay. All right. Insecurities on full display.
It was stupid. Scratch that.
All right, you're going to like this one. I'm going to.
Okay.
I'm going to take a risk and I'm going to overhype something because I'm not confident in this one. So our good friend Stephen Hale, who I was just talking about, we went to dinner. Our us and our wives went to dinner a couple weeks ago, and his wife was talking about her grandma. This was a couple years. It's been older story, but her grandma woke up one morning and her husband had died through the night. Okay.
Who hasn't been there?
We've all been there. And she Was. He was old and. And so she looked over, she saw him, she could tell that he had passed. And she went back to bed. Okay. Because she, she was just at peace with it. And she's like, he's in a better place.
Are you dead or asleep? Are you dead or. Oh, he's dead. I'm going back to bed. That's going to take 30 minutes to get all police out here. The ambulance pronunciation of him being dead. I got rest up for. Sorry.
This will be the first time he hadn't snored and 38 years.
I'm getting some Z's in.
So she's telling this story and it was a light hearted mood. All right. It was a light hearted move mood. We were all with it.
How could you not be light hearted with that story?
And we were just. Sure. We're just all talking about how crazy that was. And I just looked around at everyone, the table and I just had to feel it out because it's. Are we that close? Are they going to be offended? Is it that kind of a crowd? And so I said, man, talk about waking up with a stiffy. I lost it. I felt so bad. Like I immediately felt terrible. But they laughed. They laughed. They were cool with it. He hasn't talked to me since, but he laughed in the moment.
Oh, gosh.
So is that a good one? Should I put that in there?
That's a good one. That's a. That's a very good one.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, that's really good. Oh, I need a second. Is that it? Are. Is it just those two?
Yeah, I'm not. I wanted to end on a high note, so.
Oh, you ended up here. That was like a three, dude. Solid three.
Yep. All right.
This is good.
This is good. I had fun.
I loved. I love today. I love you. I love your family. Sometimes when I'm alone, I think about you. I think about you forever. All right, we'll talk next week.
All right.
Not before then.
Yep. Thanks everyone. All right, see you. Thanks for listening. Once again, please let me know if you like these Chris and Nick episodes and we will keep doing them over and over and over again over like, and share with your friends, yada, yada, yada. Love you all. Goodbye.










