The Dream vs. The Grind: The Emotional Toll of ETA

Welcome back to another episode of Bought the Biz. I really want you all to hear this one. Christi talks about some of the really tough moments of being an operator of a small business. She talks about the emotional toll that it takes on not just herself, but her family and how her life is really a lot different since she's become a small business operator. This is from the heart. You don't want to miss it and stick it around to the end for some of the takeaways that every searcher and operator needs to be thinking about. Bought the Biz is a podcast for ETA entrepreneurs who've gone from searching for a business to actually running one. It tells the real story of what happens after the deal closes. The day-to-day operational, emotional, strategic, and leadership challenges that just don't show up in the highlight reels.

The show is story-driven and practical, sharing real experiences from operators along with clear, actionable takeaways you can use in your own business today.

I'm Garth Fossano.

I'm Christi Loucks. Welcome to Bought the Biz.

We just jumped in and we're totally changing topics today. You just dropped a couple bombs, Christi. What, what happened?

Well, we— so I was on a prospect call, which is fantastic. Um, but while I was on said prospect call—

and anyway, you also closed one of like a big marquee, like massive account in the past week too. So like there are highs but there are lows.

Yeah, that was a high, um, for sure. And that is a logo that I, I mean, they are a multi, many billion dollar company that I never would have had. I never would have thought I would have had the chance to work with a company like that. Amazing. Um, but then, you know, in over the course of my prospect call that was 45 minutes, we had 2 clients submit their 30-day notice to terminate services.

That sucks.

It sucks. Yeah. And it's like, that's the— I mean, that's— sorry. That's reality of small business ownership. And those two clients are a decent amount of revenue for us. Yeah.

Like, to get really into it, I bet that that, like, is the difference between this being awesome and making money and like not being awesome. And like just the other week we were texting about like, hey, how do we get a GM into this business? Because it's growing and like all of a sudden it's the world is different and it's changed.

It shifts so quickly and that's okay. I think it's to be expected. But yeah, then, then in those moments, you know, there's a million questions that come up, which is Should I hire? Should I continue to hire? Should I like, do I trust myself to recover? Do I need to pivot anything in terms of the business? Like, why are people churning? Is that an issue with the service, an issue with the industry, an issue with the model, an issue with me?

Like, there's a lot of stuff that you have to think through. And I was, I was actually talking to a searcher this morning who's under LOI to buy a franchise, and this was We were talking about the difference between a franchise and like what you and I did, more of an independent business. And, you know, in a franchise you're going to have a framework and a playbook to execute, and that can be really freeing because you just execute and you don't have to think outside of that box as much. As much, obviously there's still some, some stuff, a lot of stuff that you have to do. But for us, it's like the world is your oyster. You could pivot the whole business. You could be rethinking your offer. You could be rethinking your team. Like the there's, there's a million different directions it could go. And this is just like one of those super hard moments.

Yeah. It's, yeah, it kind of makes you question like everything. Well, like there have been so many times in the last 6 months where I've told Alex, like, I'm just, we're just gonna shut, I'm just gonna close it down. Like, I just, it's just hard. I, I don't wanna do this. It's too hard. I'm, I'm shutting the doors.

You and I are doing this because we want people to know it's hard and it's not easy, but you're still in it and you're still doing it. And we're doing this also because like, we, we want people to know that it's really empowering. So like, what, what's keeping you going and what's making you not close the doors?

Ego, for sure. Ego. A little ego. I would not— I don't want to close the doors. I don't want to, like, I don't want to give up, right? I don't have that in me. Um, I mean, obviously we have, like, we have, like, true— not pressure, because, you know, we ended up doing, like, a friends and family raise on our equity when, um, for this business. So I wouldn't say we have pressure from investors, but certainly don't want to disappoint those friends and family in terms of, you know, make sure that we put their dollars to good use. Um, and I guess maybe like the other thing that keeps me going is even when I really don't want to, and there are many days when I don't want to, this sounds terrible, there are so many people that run businesses and I'm like, if these guys can run a company, then I can't quit. Not to belittle anyone.

I don't think you are. I mean, I think there are so many small businesses in America that are run well and run poorly. And I think that, you know, what I actually look up to is the people that have just stuck with it for like a decade and, uh, you know, are continuing to run their business and stay true to that self, uh, you know, something that they set out to do a long time ago. And like, I think the people that persevere are the ones who can make a lot of wealth for themselves, not like this billion-dollar tech company client like you just signed kind of wealth, but incredible meaningful wealth in a very reasonable way, I think, as well. But it takes time. And this is that, this is that grind. And this is one of those moments.

Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's so like, well, I'm a very, uh, I, I'm an emotions-first person. Like I just, I feel the thing really quickly and then I process it logically later. That's just how my brain functions. So in the moments where, you know, you have— when you're a small business and you have clients leave, like, it is hard sometimes to not take it personal, especially when you're someone like me where I just immediately am like, you don't like me anymore, right?

I'm, I'm smiling because we were, you know, uh, in teaching the, the ETA course at CU, I think it was last Monday, and one of the, we were talking to the students about what are the characteristics of someone who can do this, and one of the students said is, you know, you have to be able to like shut it off emotionally in front of your team, and you have to be able to be non-emotional, and I sort of jumped in and I said, there is no way you are going to be able to be like not emotional, and that was, this is the exact example I gave is, I had a client send in a 30-day notice and like, I'd just been thinking about it for like every night in the middle of the night, I'd wake up and be like, man, like, you know that this is going to be so rough for their business. Like, I don't, I know they're making a bad choice for their business. I understand why they're doing it too. Um, and it's just rough. It's, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You can't, you can't peel back the layers. Emotions. Yeah, go ahead.

Sorry, I think that they're— you know, I agree, you can't peel back the emotions. I think like though they have— the student did make a good point that was like, you have to be able to turn it on and off. You're never going to be able to turn off that level of emotions, but you have to be able to like be calm and be present in front of your team and also in front of your other customers and your family and your investors. And there are just going to be so many highs and lows, and I think you gotta know that there's gonna be a lot of low moments just like this where you're questioning really what you're doing, and you're gonna have to stay true to that sort of long-term vision of what you're trying to build, but also, I think one of the things you and I have mentioned is what's the pivot? Is it worth a pivot? Is it worth thinking about something a little bit differently? And Rainmaker did make a pretty significant pivot pivot about a year ago. And so I think that those options are out there as well, but I mean, I'm not going to say that that's an easy path either. That might be even, from my perspective, as going through it still right now, that might be even harder.

Yeah. And I guess that's, you know, it's a good question to ask and I don't have an answer of like, how do you know when to pivot? Like, what are the indicators that you're looking for to say, you know, I don't think this is working anymore. Maybe there's headwinds, maybe the industry has changed, maybe people are just prioritizing different things in their own businesses, like as an agency owner, right? That's what I'm thinking about. And how do you know?

I mean, I think for, for us, one of the very clear indicators for the pivot was that there was a massive market change, like AI is going to disrupt a lot of businesses, and we knew our business model was in the crosshairs. And so that was the moment to pivot. And maybe we did it a little bit early, but I think now as we look as sort of where the sort of new version of the company is positioned, it's probably a little bit behind some of the earlier startups, but pretty ahead of what customers are looking for just yet. So in some ways we think we're kind of like right in a sweet spot. Um, but yeah, we relied on sort of big macro market signal and knowing what would be possible with the technology and what we could go build given the, the already existing IP in the organization. I think that that was pretty clear. Um, but like the transition is very hard too. Like you're going to have customers customers that want that and customers that don't want that in your existing legacy customer base. And I think that that's one of the tricks. Um, what— tell me what you're thinking about with, with your pivot. What are the— like, what's— what, what would you think about for your business?

I mean, in short, we are a lead generation agency, and I— it's the whole AI factor again, which sounds very trite to say in some ways because I feel like everyone's just saying AI is disrupting everything, but it is true. And so the question is, how do we, how do we address— how do we meet buyers where they are in today's world, um, as opposed to continuing to run the same legacy, like, B2B playbooks that just don't have the same impact anymore. So, you know, cold email is, I won't say it's dead cause I still just don't think it's dead, but I think that it's really hard. I think that LinkedIn is getting noisier. I think people are tired of the same messages over and over and over again in their inboxes or in their like LinkedIn messages. When you look at the way people buy on a personal level these days, it is so wildly different than the way people buy for businesses. And I think that that line needs to get a little bit blurred on the business side because people don't want to buy the way that they've been buying enterprise software services anymore. I think it's changing dramatically. Uh, the best example I can give you is I actually did like a mini podcast with one of our Vendors are service providers. And they went and posted it on Instagram, like a snippet, you know, 30-second snippet or something like that. So the corporate account posted it, but tagged my personal Instagram profile. So now all of a sudden what's happened, we have blended these two worlds where I'm a personal human being, like that's my private account. But they tagged me. So now, like, where are the lines here between business buyer versus I'm just scrolling Instagram while I'm munching on potato chips on the couch at night? Like, how does— and how does this work in today's buying world? This, this—

yeah, I, I don't have the answers, but similarly, um, I had a friend tell me that I needed to get on X, and that's where, as SMB community is. And my question to him was like, am I doing— like, I'm— I work for Rainmaker. Like, I need to represent Rainmaker. How can I do— like, why— like, it's not okay for me to spend my time like building my own brand on X around the SMB and search space? And he said, this is founder-led sales. This is what you do now, basically. And, uh, I think that those lines have really started to shift. But I think it— which is an interesting answer because also, you know, the whole time I've been in my business and going through the transition with the prior seller, one of the main themes I've been trying to make is that this is not about a person. Like, this works because it's a process and a system, and it's not dependent on an individual person. I think that that's what creates a lot of value for businesses versus value as an individual. And I think I think that a lot of searchers are going to have to work through that in their transitions. And as they become operators and step into those shoes and have to make a decision like, am I making this business about me or am I making it about like the processes and the systems that make this a valuable organization? And so it is sort of interesting how those lines are getting blurred again. And I don't have answers on what's right or wrong, but I think that that's just what you have to do right now.

Yes. Um, but the thing is though is, and this is where, you know, I'm questioning like, okay, what is, what does the new buying world look like? If you look at general consumer behavior, right? Like we are on X, we are on Instagram. I'm not on TikTok, but a lot of people are on TikTok. Like we're on all these social media platforms and we're following the people, not the businesses. Like I, I follow CEOs, I follow thought leaders, I follow the influencers. Those are individuals, like you said, representing renting a business, but I care way more about what they are putting out in terms of content than what the corporate account is posting.

What if that's— maybe that's because it's like more authentic, it's coming for the person versus like the marketing team, uh, effect, right? Yeah, that's a really interesting perspective. Um, so you've been making me think about another maybe important topic of this is, you know, both of our businesses you know, are shifting because of AI and technology. And we're both searchers trying to buy like sleepy, consistent businesses that are going to have modest growth. And I've been talking to some investors in the space, and one of the things that they've been discussing is that like searchers— and so if you haven't done this and you're now an operator, you need to have sort of in your due diligence framework or in your strategic planning, like what are the changes and impacts you're going to that are going to be seen or you are going to execute because of AI. And I think it's really, I think it's really going to affect a lot of small businesses in ways that we probably don't fully know yet. And I think you and I are both experiencing that right now.

It's super fun.

I mean, so like, okay, then let me like, let me push on that, your reaction there. Like, Would you tell a searcher, hey, you shouldn't do this right now because it's going to be a wild ride for a little bit?

No, the short answer would be no. However, I think that there's like, there's what sounds good on paper and then there's reality of it. So AI is, it's, it's coming for a lot of businesses and I think in many ways that's a good thing. So, you know, the ride is going to be wild and it might be really fun. It might be parts of the metaphorical roller coaster that you're like, wow, that was really cool. And parts that are super shitty. And you do have to be actually ready for the rough, the rough parts. And I think people say, I think people, this is, I think people think they're ready or they think that they can weather the storm. But man, I'm telling you, when it's like your dollars, your loan, your personal guarantee, your family, like shit gets real, really fast. And you do, you think you're gonna respond one way and sometimes you don't. So it's like, don't do, don't, don't not do it, but you better know that if it goes a different direction, you aren't going to be fully prepared for that.

Yep. I don't think you can.

Would you agree?

I don't think you can be fully prepared for those hard moments. Again, I was chatting with a searcher this morning about a deal that they have under LOI, and he gave me some of the sort of Q&A responses from the broker. He had asked about how much the seller works in the business, and the broker's response was, "Oh, 30 to 40 hours, but it's just by choice. She's not really needed." And I was like, "Yeah, that is not true. Do not believe that. Do not believe that for one second." And I was like, be ready to be working 40 to 60 hours. And his response was the right thing. He's like, good. I can't wait. Like, I'm really looking forward to that. And if you are not like in that camp, cause he still doesn't know what's coming his way and that's all right. But if your response is like, oh no, no, I kind of want it to be like 40, but you know, I can occasionally do the 60 or the 80 or the 100. Like, no, you don't even understand. Like, you're not ready.

Yeah.

You gotta be like. No holds barred, here we go. Um, like my deal with my wife, uh, the first calendar year I owned the business was like, at any moment, any time, I would disappear and go do what I had to do. And my deal was I had a 12-month period where it was like whatever I needed, I could go do and go work on the business. And that was pretty freeing, but that's also a big ask for You're from your family too. Um, and it's a lot of pressure on you. And, um, and there were definitely 100-hour weeks, weekend working, working weird hours at night to do payroll, invoicing, billing, all sorts of things. And you just gotta be ready for that.

Yeah. I mean, and that's where like, I wouldn't, I don't wish this on people, but I, I was working 2 weeks postpartum. Log back in. Even today, I, you know, I, we've got childcare, we've got, you know, an au pair that works for us and she's amazing. She takes Wyatt from like 7:45, 8:00 to like 5:30. I do, you know, dinner with my husband, bath time with Wyatt. Like we do all that stuff as a family. And then as soon as Wyatt goes back down to bed, like guess where I am until I go to sleep.

So like it is, But one of the things that I think is that I also really enjoyed the work, probably more than any other work I had done before.

That's interesting.

Um, yeah, I think it was incredibly rewarding. Um, so I found it to be a lot of fun and I actually enjoyed it, but I think, you know, we've pivoted now and I have a much larger team, so I'm, I'm not doing that. And like, I actually, you know, I would say I sort of enjoyed my 3-day weekend. Uh, that was recent. Like I didn't do much work. I do work every day still, but like I didn't go do like 3 hours of payroll or invoicing, which normally would have happened, uh, at the end of a month. Um, and so I think that people will enjoy it, especially when it's going well. But I think like what you're talking about, like this is one of those hard moments where it's. Maybe not going as well as you had hoped. Let's just be, let's be real. It's not going well. It's tough. And then you still have to just do the slog and keep committing the hours, even when the financial success isn't there. And that's super hard. And I haven't been in that position yet. She's just been sort of, you know, market tailwinds that really helped us. And yeah, I think that that's really hard and people have to be prepared for that.

Yeah, it's, yeah, I think people just still, I don't know, there's so much like romanticizing. And I think when you're buying a business, like you have to rethink how you're gonna spend all of your time because the other thing too is like, okay, so, Yeah, maybe you enjoy the work more, Garth. Like, that's fantastic. It's fun for you. You know, the way you work on the week or during the week impacts the way you address your leisure time, right? For me, I worked so much during the week that now on the weekends, I'm like, I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do anything. I don't wanna see, or there's only certain people I'm willing to see, like low, low emotional, like capacity people, right? Where I just don't have to give that much to maintain the friendship or maintain the relationship. It's just an easy, easy relationships, right? Like, all of my time now, even on my off quote hours, are completely restructured because I'm now carrying this other load that is very heavy. Um, that I, like, I don't know if it was a 3-day weekend, normally I'd be like, yeah, let's go hiking, let's go do all these fun things. And it was like, Screw that. I wanna sit around with Wyatt and I don't wanna do anything. So it, it just changes everything.

It's like even your leisure time, everything you're saying, I can completely relate with, like, especially like the low emotional bandwidth moments. Like you're gonna need those. Um, I think that I, I want every searcher and operator to hear what you just said, cuz that's amazing. And they need to know it. You also shared, I think this is on a pretty similar topic, so I might switch over to this. You shared a LinkedIn post from a private equity investor, and I'll just sort of hit a couple of the highlights from it. I wanna say it out loud and then maybe we can discuss, 'cause I think it really ties into this conversation. It's not private equity, it's a Ponzi scheme of aspiration. There is a whole ecosystem now built on one promise: you can buy a business with no money down and become financially free in 12 months. It sounds like M&A, it looks like private equity, but it behaves like a multi-level marketing scheme. And here's what's really happening. Um, and, and sort of goes on to, I think, really critique the, the market that is trying to educate searchers about how to go do this process and, um, and sort of selling these hopes and dreams. And, you know, there's a lot of people who don't succeed. Um, and we're doing this because we want people to hear how hard it is, uh, and how rewarding it is. But we— but there's a balance of those two. And I think there's a lot of people trying to get into this that that, you know, haven't really thought through and probably are, will not ever be in a position to understand what you just said until they go through it themselves. And I think that that's like, I think if I was a searcher right now and you told me that story, I'd be like, yeah, but I can do that, it's worth it. And I think people really need to think back on if it's worth it for them. And I think it's probably very hard for a searcher to understand the sort of emotional impact that you just described.

Yeah, because you can't— I mean, you can't know it until you are in it. And I— yeah, it's like there's so many people out there like slinging the new American dream, right? Which is ownership, it's autonomy, it's freedom from corporate America. You don't, you know, no more golden handcuffs kind of a thing. And that all sounds really nice because we like to villainize that kind of archaic mode of working, right, where you just rise up the corporate ladder. Like, people are tired of that. But that doesn't mean that this is like grass is greener. It's just different. It's just different.

Totally.

Grass is dead and it's ugly and you just want to not be there and take care of it.

And at a corporate company, there's an army working with you on it. And I was talking to a buddy at a, at a big tech company, uh, last night, and he said, hey, I just did my final interviews for this next sort of promotion cycle. And he's like, if I get it and it's looking good, I never have to do— I never need another promotion in my life. I'm good, I'm set. And he's also been searching on the side and I sort of encouraged, I was like, well, if that's the case, like maybe you should just hang out. That sounds pretty good. Like, and, and he said, yeah, you know, I think, I think I will, but I'll probably still keep my eye out and, you know, put it on the back burner for a little bit. But I think, you know, you're going to be changing a very stable way of living, uh, to something that is a lot more of a rollercoaster. Coaster. All right. So do you think you should pivot? Do you think you should stick with it? Like you, you've, you've bared some real highs and lows and thoughts. What do you think?

Yeah, I do think we need to, to change some things truthfully, just because, because AI is disrupting the world, right? Like, for example, I won't get into details, but We leverage a lot of intent data in our outreach, which is, you know, people who are doing research on a particular topic. We can figure out who those people are. In theory, they are further along in the buyer journey. Maybe they're not solution aware, but they're problem aware, things of that nature. Well, guess what? Guess what's changing all of that?

Probably where they're looking for this. I imagine they're not searching.

They're not going to Google, they're going to ChatGPT. Exactly right. And so everything there, it's like, well then what's the point of intent data? And, and you could argue like, okay, there's still a lot of people out there doing a lot of Google searching. Sure, fine. And you can still capture, you know, some of the market that way. But like, world's changing and you, you have to accommodate for these new behaviors and these new patterns and And the biggest question is like, where do you fit in those new behaviors and patterns? Like, what service do people really need? So I think yes, I think there is a pivot. I think that's natural even at this moment in time, just in the world that we're living in. Uh, the question is, yeah, like, what are the mechanics of that pivot? How long does it take? Can you do something fast? Do you do something slow? Do you, you know, carry on with current clients? Do you pause everything? Like, those are the other, you know, questions that come up to How do you build the plane while you are flying it? I don't know. I don't know, Garth. I don't know the answer.

And you're the only mechanic. It's hard. It's hard.

Yeah.

I mean, we're clearly, we've clearly been doing that and going through the pivot and we've sort of been operating the legacy business. You know, this is actually wild. In our pivot, we continue to operate the legacy business in the exact same way we did before. And our customers think we totally changed it and we didn't change it at all. We kept it the same for them to sort of insulate them from some of those changes. And we are going to be launching our new product in about 45 days. And then, you know, they're going to have the option to get onto that. But at some point next year, like that's the go-forward plan. Um, and, uh, yeah, we've been trying to insulate some of our legacy customers and Despite doing that, they still don't even realize that we had insulated them and made no changes. And they got upset about the changes when there really weren't any. And we communicated that there weren't any. So like, you're, you're, you're, you're gonna get hung up one way or another no matter what you do, I think. Yeah.

And it's just like, all right, how do we, do I have the processes and systems to plan for that? And like, you know, and, and then the grit to get through it. TBD.

I think to try and maybe if there's some way to put a pin on that, I think the one thing that I've learned through this operator experience is that, um, there is massive opportunity out there. And I think the most important thing for an operator is to be sort of focused in the right direction and on the I think, because there is tremendous opportunity in the market. We're in a moment of massive transformation where things will change for good and for bad, and your time is so incredibly valuable because what you can go create can have a huge impact, make a lot of money. And so just being oriented in the right direction. And so I think that that would be why it might make sense to pivot. I know I was sort of giving example, like I have a lot of respect and admiration for the operators that have been running a business for a decade or two. And like, they're the ones that I think I really see as being successful and stable, but I'm sure they went through pivots during their process to get there too.

Yeah. And I think especially in today's world, like unless you're running— well, I don't even think so. Like there is— there are very few industries and very few worlds in which you just run the same business for a decade and you don't really change much, right? HVAC, plumbing, like, I, you know, I guess there's, there's obviously modernizations on the processes behind the scenes, but at the end of the day, the core service is pretty much the same. But in a world like ours, right, where we're dealing with tech, we're dealing with, you know, a lot of these B2B, like, high-growth companies, I think that we are going to see businesses have to pivot a lot more frequently and even more, um, not violently, it's not the right word, but like aggressively, quickly, aggressively. Yes, we'll go with that, uh, because everything is changing so fast. So it's like even, even as you're coming into these businesses, whatever you're acquiring, like you also have to look at, okay, where are the pivots that I may have to make and how often, how many, how big? Like, sorry not to just keep going, but I think it's important.

I think what you said is very true. I think that the other part though is a lot of the businesses that seem stable and like they wouldn't be disrupted by technology are going to be disrupted by technology as well. You give the example of like HVAC, plumbing, like, yeah, the operations don't change. Um, I've talked to some, you know, You know, I, I've called a friend, he's operated his business for 40 years in a franchise, and he said that when he bought the franchise, the founder of the franchise told him he just bought a sales and marketing company that happens to specialize in that operational capability. And the sales and marketing is totally transforming. And just like what you and I have been talking about in sales and marketing for, you know, at a slightly different scale, but for a small business owner, that's going to be completely different. In 6 or 12 months because of what's happening with AI. And I think what's really tricky right now is that, like, in the HVAC, electrical space, plumbing, you know, in particular, is that there have been a lot of private equity platform roll-ups that are going to be in a better financial position to move faster. And so it is going to disrupt a lot of the smaller players that aren't ready for that, or, you know, don't yet have that skill set. And so I think that that it is going to be a little bit of a tricky time for some of these operators. Maybe we should get one on to sort of get their thoughts and see what they're thinking about. But I, this is why I think that from an operations perspective, there are some very safe businesses, but I think from a sales and marketing side, there's going to be a lot of changes happening, you know, across the board that operators are going to be having to think about. And I think what's really scary Or, you know, I think the— let's put it in the positive. The opportunity is that if you are a first mover and you're successful, I think you're going to gap your competition really quickly. And so—

Good spin on that. Go positive instead of scary. Yeah.

So that's why it needs to be in the due diligence framework for a searcher, and it needs to be in the strategic plan for an operator. All right. We've chatted a lot about this. Anything else you want to add to it?

No, I think that's good for today.

Well, thanks for sharing that, Christi. That's like, uh, pretty, uh, heavy stuff. So, so thank you for letting everybody hear that and go on with this journey with you.