Brenda Palmer on The Cost of Saying Yes to God

Well, my friend is going to join me on the platform this morning. It's all about saying yes. Would you please help me welcome Miss Brenda Palmer? She's so cute. She's so cute. I love you so much. I have a mic for you. I do. I do. Have a seat. Thank you all for joining us for the live recording of this podcast. This is your second time with me. On a podcast. Now, y'all don't let me be here like an Oompa Loompa, okay? Make sure I'm not sitting wrong, because this is what I want to do.

No, me too.

We just do the whole thing like this, just like this. I know, it's too much work. Oh golly. Um, Brenda has already joined me on the podcast, but, um, it's for real, y'all help me. OK. See? I know. Do what? This? OK, you already joined me. First of all, you're just delightful. OK, so I want you— were you at Woman Evolved when I came with Priscilla?

Yes, I sat behind you.

OK, so I just— truth. When I walked up and you came up to me, you were like, hi, hi, hi. I was like, I know her face. And I was trying to figure out, I was like, is that Dr. Anita's daughter? That's who I thought. And then I was like, has she been— have I been on her pod? I could not place you for the life of me.

Better Together.

And then that's when I realized. So y'all know I've done Better Together for a while. And Brenda was— what was your title? Producer?

Associate producer.

Associate producer. And she would ask the question. So if you've ever watched Better Together and then they cut away, from the actual conversation, and the single people are on camera, we're talking to a camera, and someone is asking us questions. And so she would just sit there and be all delightful. OK, and she would say, so during this part of the show, you were talking about this. Let's answer this question for our viewers. And so that bothered me so much. And then when I connected with you to do the podcast, I was like, oh, shoot. That's who it was. That's who it was. She was like, for real. But I'm so in awe of just the journey. And I know we talked about that on the initial podcast, but I want to know, are you a yes person? Like, by design?

No.

Okay. So a lot of us, we want to be yes people. But we admire yes people. And if we don't feel like we're naturally that way, or that we have a history of being that way, it can be easy to look at a yes person and say, they have something I don't have. You know, maybe they have walked with God longer, or maybe they haven't had the trouble. So what do you feel like has made you a yes person? 'Cause that's your whole, I mean, you got a whole book about it at this point.

I would say experiencing the fruit of saying no. I think, yeah, when you realize the cost of a no, you start saying yes. And so I think, I talk about this in my book, but like I experienced a betrayal from my pastor, but a year before that, the Lord told me to move and I said no. And so there's always this in the back of my mind going, The Lord was trying to spare me from this. And if I would have just said yes, I wouldn't have had— wouldn't have had to endure that. I'm grateful for that season of my life, but I always think, what if I would have just said yes? And so I think I carry that. I carry the— I may not know what the yes is going to lead to, but I trust the one that's leading me to it. So I'm going to just say yes.

Okay. How old are you?

I'll be 35 next month.

Why you trying to round up?

I am. Because everybody think I'm 24. I'm 34.

Listen, you don't need to round up. Just own it.

Own up. I'm 34.

It's great. You're a baby in the best way. Yeah. But when was the betrayal? How old were you?

27.

OK. So when you were 22, 21, 23, somewhere in there, what did you think you'd be doing at 35? What was your desire?

I would have been a television producer or a director, like films. That was always my dream.

Behind the camera?

Behind the camera. And then also, I love to like music. So originally, 21, 22, I was in college. I originally went to college to be an artist. Audio engineer, and they dropped the program the first day. Like, I went to register for classes, they're like, we don't got this no more. I like, okay, I don't know what to do with that. So I just like tried a whole bunch of stuff because I was stuck there.

Okay, so, and, and so what did you end up doing?

Um, I ended up doing a lot of stuff. I tried business administration, I tried, uh, information technology, and then I was like, this looks like the mark of the beast, I want nothing to do with that. So I got out out of that. And then I ended up in mass comm with the emphasis in broadcasting, but I didn't like being in front of the camera and I didn't like that journalists couldn't have a point of view. They have to be unbiased and I'm too opinionated for that. So then I fell in love with like production behind the scenes. And so I went to Syracuse to study television, radio, and film.

If you are interested in hearing from me about professional things, speaking, writing, communicating, all the things that I offer under a coaching banner that we're trying to get more clear and sure about. This is what I need you to do. I need you to go to thesistercircle.com/coaching, and right there, just put your name in the blank. I send out a monthly email to my leaders and my communicators that is oriented towards professional development, and the people that are on that list are going to hear more and hear first about the next virtual workshop that I'm teaching. At the end of June called the Speaker's Blueprint. Okay. Good news is, is that, that blueprint workshop will be free. And for those who want additional, they want Q&A, they want additional downloads. They want, they want to sweeten the deal. There will be a VIP option, but I'm going to talk to my speakers and my leaders and my communicators first. So if you put your name on this list, then I'll know, oh, you want to hear from me on that. Okay. Thesistercircle.com/blueprint. Um, forward slash coaching. Did you enjoy writing?

Did I enjoy running?

Writing.

Writing. But the book?

No, just before a book.

Before a book, were you a writer before the book? Uh, in high school, but that was it. Like creative, right? I like storytelling, so a little bit.

But behind the camera. And then did you What did you do in front of the camera even if you didn't enjoy it? Did you have any kind of in front of the camera?

Yeah, when I went to film school, they would always make me act in the things.

Yeah.

I'm like, I wanna produce.

Why? What did they see in you that they kept putting you in front of the camera?

Maybe personality. I like to make people laugh, but that's just my natural personality. And so I would always act in the things and I would be like, I'mma leave here with no portfolio 'cause I keep being in the things.

Instead of creating the things. Yeah. When you look back, what are some of the— and you shared some kind of— but what are some of the things that you can see that God aligned on your behalf for where he knew you were going that you were not necessarily— like, you weren't building a portfolio for this. There are people that always want to write or they always want to speak, and so they're spending all, you know, a lot of energy trying to get there. This is not what you were aiming for. So looking back, I mean, getting in front of the camera is a part of it. Is there anything else that you can see God was aligning these things for me because he knew where I was going.

Yeah, for sure. I think oddly enough, even like when I first moved to LA, I always hosted Bible studies in my house. Like, I mean, I think since I was in college, I'm always like gathering people because I just love the Bible, but like to talk about it. So, or game nights or always gathering people. And I feel like that was God planting seeds for like what I do now. And then I think too, like, I have always been in front of the camera. I just don't want to be. So I always run or hide from it. So I feel like God knew. When I was a kid, I would set my little bears and dolls up, and I would have a talk show. And so I feel like now I go like, oh, I guess that was always in my heart. Maybe somewhere along the way, somebody crushed that in me and made me stop feeling like I could dream enough, like big enough to do.

Who crushed that?

I don't know. Maybe myself. You know, like, or, okay, so I'm the youngest of 10. Okay, wait, 'cause I feel y'all judging, all right? My mama did not have 10 kids. I have a blended family, but I'm the only one they have together. My mom had me with her tubes tied. And so like, I be needing to give y'all space to breathe.

That was a word for somebody.

I don't know.

I don't know.

'Cause she thought it was done.

Yeah. So when later, you know, in the 3 months you take that pregnancy test, you're like, how did this happen? You could be like, God told me at the Sister Circle Live to get ready to say yes.

And she was 38.

And she was 38.

She was 38.

OK. The plot thickens.

OK. Yeah. And so like, my siblings are like teachers, engineers. And my dad always like, you need to get a stable job and like, something that's going to pay money.

So they loved you moving to LA.

Oh, no. So I think like it just— what did it feel realistic? I didn't really have an idea of what that could be like in real life because we never saw that growing up. It's like teacher, police, lawyer, doctor. Creative careers were not as prevalent as they are now. And so I think it just didn't feel like something that was attainable. So I didn't really dream about it beyond a kid.

But you moved to LA.

Yeah, well, 'cause by that time I went to school. So it was like, okay, maybe this is something I could do. But I went to LA 4 years, 5 years after I finished school. So it was harder 'cause I didn't have the connections or, so it was harder.

Did you do your own makeup? Today?

Yeah. No, I don't even own makeup. Who did your makeup? This lady named Sean who do my makeup every time I come to Dallas.

So Sean, you said Sean, I'm in Dallas.

I put Sean on the— yeah, call Sean. I don't know how to do makeup. Not one bit. I don't own it. You saw me last night, my glasses on.

This is how we want to really live our lives. Really.

It's how I live mine.

I know, but until you come on stage.

Yeah, because then I can't. But only because people start saying, Brittany, you can't just be going up there like that.

Well, the next time we do this, let's both not wear makeup. OK. Can we just do that? Yes. Oh my gosh. It's stupid.

I know it is. It's too much work for like 40 seconds. I know. I had to get up. I could have slept in.

You could have. What time does she come on?

6:30. So I had to get up at 5:00. So I had to like, ugh. It's too much. This is the part they don't talk about.

This is the cost.

This is the fight.

Oh my, yes, I know. Oh gosh. I have so many eyelashes littered all over my house. Everywhere.

I know, and there's a use of those to reuse them. No.

But it's too much work to reuse them.

Cup holder in the car, 'cause soon as I'm in the car, like—

Yeah, everywhere. Okay, have you ever been afraid of your own eyelash 'cause you thought it was like a bug? Like, what is that? Yes! I was like, oh my God, it's a caterpillar!

Oh, it's a lash. Oh, it's a lash, it's a lash, my bad.

My son is going to be completely upset. I don't know where he is in the room, but my son is on a camera somewhere in here. David, who does all of our video stuff, called Trey out. So y'all, you can look at him, but don't talk to him because he'll be like, oh my God. But they have a reaction. I can see their madness, my boys, in me taking off my eyelashes. I start taking off my eyelashes, and they're like, oh God. What are you doing?

What are you doing? It's the first thing to go.

It's the first thing to go. Lord Jesus. Okay. Can you put them on yourself? Have you ever tried?

No, I can't do anything. Lip gloss. I mean, maybe like some— I don't want to. And they like, Brenda, we could teach you. I don't want to. I don't. I'm putting my foot down. Even like, they be like, you need it on Instagram videos. I'm not. That's not real life.

It's not. It's not.

Because when I woke up, this is what I looked like. Now, I might slide a little filter because, like, ooh, girl. Yes.

Yes, correct.

Yeah.

But I'm not putting on makeup. Have you ever, because you didn't want to have to redo the face the next day, just went to sleep like this?

One time. But I can't sleep. I want to sleep.

Yes.

So that's going to hinder my sleep. So I can't do it. It's just like the next day, it just is what it is.

Don't do it. Because let me just tell you. Your eyes were not designed to have all the things happening around there, and you might wake up with a bloody red eye. Yeah, your eyes will—

I'm sure—

fully react. It's a whole thing. Yeah. The next time, no makeup.

No makeup. I'm with it.

I'm committed. Okay, so some of the ladies in the room may see you as they're flipping through social media and they're like, who is Brenda? Because of course, book splashes and releases of books, which, by the way, titled The Journey of Yes. The Journey of Yes. And so, you know, when you're doing a book launch and people will see you and they see you and they don't know why they're seeing you, just a quick tutorial on who you are, why you wrote the book, and what you're doing in this world. And then, y'all, she's on a podcast. You can get more about that, but just a quick, quick catch up.

Okay. So I would always say I'm just a girl who said yes to Jesus and ended up here. But I'm an author, a podcaster, and a preacher. And my book is called The Journey of Yes: The Everyday Adventure of Radical Obedience. I wrote that book to give a tangible manual on what it looks like to say yes to the Lord. It's ups and downs, ebbs, flows, scary, fun. It's an adventure. And it's not always the big massive step. Sometimes it's to pay for the coffee and the person— for the person behind you, or sometimes it's pack up and move, or sometimes it's stay at that job even though you hate it. And so I wanted to give a span of like what it looks like to say yes, to kind of bring language to it. And because sometimes people are like, just tell the Lord yes. You like, well, what does that look like? What does that mean? Why do I got to do that? And so I feel like This book is just my journey in inviting you to take a step into yours. Okay.

I have questions.

Okay.

Okay. So first of all, when you first started talking, you said, "I'm just a girl." I love when you do this to me.

I should have thought clearly before I started saying stuff.

You shouldn't have wore makeup.

I shouldn't have wore makeup because I know what you've done to me the last 2 times. All right. I'm ready. I'm sorry. It's not on purpose. No, it's good.

I'm just saying yes.

But I seen the lean I say, "Uh-oh.

It's okay.

I'm listening." Okay.

But you started out and you said, "I just say." Yeah. "I'd like to say." What was your start?

Oh, "I'm just a girl who said yes to Jesus and ended up here." Okay.

And then you started saying all the other things. And I was watching your body language, and I wanted to know how you feel saying all the other things.

Mm. I feel like— Honestly, I feel like this my cross. You know, like if you want to be a follower of Jesus, you got to deny yourself, pick up your cross. This is my cross. As much as I have an outgoing personality, I just would prefer to not— I like to— I like the background. Not because I'm hiding. I just like it. It requires less. So yeah, I think that's how I feel. I think when I say that, I just feel the weight of it. So yeah.

What's the way to do it?

I knew it was coming. He said, "What's the way?" Keep going, Brenda. It costs, it requires. Like, sometimes I just wanna be a normal 34-year-old. Like, I wanna be outside. I wanted to go to the Chris Brown concert, and the Lord told me no.

Who told you no?

The Lord.

Oh.

I asked too. I was like, "Lord, we gonna be in a suite. Nobody gonna see me." The fact that you gotta say you gonna be in a suite and nobody gonna see you means you shouldn't be there. Oh, but yeah, like, because then I was like, well, if I saw my pastor at the Chris Brown concert, I'd be like, what you doing here? And the Lord was like, you too. It's not just the pastor, you know? Like, so I think sometimes it's like, who asked for this? But then there's like, my life don't belong to me. And I say that with joy and grief. Like the tension of both. I'm grateful that I get to surrender my life to the Lord and he gets to use me to draw others to him. But also I grieve, like, when I want to make decisions for myself. So it's holding the tension of that and still showing up and saying yes every day because I was created to please the Lord.

Hey, it's about that time again for me and my girls in the inner circle to kick off the summer together with our Summer of Sisters Fun Run. The good news is You're invited, whether you're an Inner Circle member or whether you're just a woman who is in the circle of faith. We want to have a fun run, a movement that's creating opportunity for laughter, fresh air, and sisterhood. The date, it's June 20th. How do you get registered? Go to thesisterscircle.com/funrun. Listen, you can crawl, walk, jog, stretch, but definitely connect and enjoy the day with your girls. And don't forget to grab your Summer of Sisters shirt so you can show up for the fun run cute, comfortable, and connected. Y'all, we want you to take all the pictures, grabbing your girls for a few fun moments, and making sure you tag us when you post #TSCSOS2026. Y'all, let's do it! It's free, it's fun, and it's a run. Register inside of the Sister Circle, and we'll see you there. Um, can you, can you talk more about the cost for real? What else?

What else? I think I'm in a better place this year, but last year was really tough. I feel like I made a step of obedience and became really bold about a decision I made to denounce a sorority I was a part of. And I was just— I was just being— I was just saying yes, like, like, not like 'Yes, and I'm gonna go get the whole world.' It was my own personal business. And then the Lord was like, 'You need to share it,' right? And I did, but I feel like I also shared it in a way of like, 'This is what the Lord revealed to me, and I'm just making space for you to check with the Lord on what he's saying to you,' right? But it got really hard because I feel like the church turned on me. I felt like the people who should have been protecting me, even if they didn't agree, they should protect my step to obey the Lord.. And I felt like they were not doing that. And that was really, really hard, jarring for someone who really is in this just because I love Jesus. And I think the more you start getting to a certain level in the Christendom, you see stuff that wrecks you, like the tribalistic culture and politics. And I don't know nothing about that. I really just am saying yes and thinking that everybody else is saying yes too. And I didn't know how to navigate that. And I just like went on this journey with the Lord and he's like, if you go walk away from what I told you to do because of how people feel about it, then you were never in this for me. And after that, he walked me through Revelation 2 where he's like, The church is doing all the things. He's like, but you forsaken your first love. And he's like, this used to be about me. And I'm one who says like, my highest ambition is to please the Lord. And he's like, but only when it pleases man. So then I just, you know, kept going around the little corner. Then I decided not to quit anymore, but I needed like some months. Some time. And part of that was wisdom, because I didn't want to, like, be communicating to people with an offended heart.

With offense, yeah.

Yeah, so I needed the Lord to, like, deal with that. And he's like, "I allowed this to happen so we could deal with that." How did you know when you were finished dealing with it?

How do you know you're free enough to do what you need to do without the coloring of that?

I think when I could have conversations with people that I feel like, maybe not even a conversation, 'cause y'all know how offense works. If you see them, a video, a picture, anything, you like, mm. Like you do that little thing in your stomach, and you be like, you need to deal with that. You still holding that. And so I think when I could have like, genuine care and pray for them and pray that they're blessed and not want, like, to blow up their spot or, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just felt like I just got over it because it was like, man, they aren't even aware of what this is making me feel like, right? The enemy's just using it to ensure that I don't do what I'm supposed to do. And so I feel like, yeah, it was just— it was a process, but it was like dealing, allowing the Lord to, like, wring my heart out. And really showed me what the real issue was, which is that I was caring more about what people thought versus like what God said.

Are you naturally wired that way, to care what people think? Or are you naturally kind of a rule breaker?

I'm naturally kind of a rule breaker. I think it hurt, 'cause it was people I know.

Yeah.

Like, and that— it— like, I actually respect you if you was like, "Brenda, I don't agree with that." I'm like, "That's cool. That's fine." I respect that you felt like we were close enough that you could be honest with me. It was more like people were like DMing me, right? They wouldn't comment on my stuff. It was weird. It was like I would share something and they would just say thank you in a DM, but then they wouldn't like share it. That feels really little, but that's really intentional. It was like they wanted to be close enough, but they didn't want to be so close that they could be connected to me because they didn't want people to know like, oh, the girl that's being radical. And I don't like that. I'm from Chicago. Be how you gonna be. Like, I don't do gray. And I respect you for saying like, "Hey, I'mma chill on you 'cause you being too radical." Great.

Look, just be straight.

Just be straight. Yeah, don't— 'Cause that's weird, and I didn't know how to navigate that. And it was people I was close to. They would invite me to stuff, and then they would be like, "Oh, actually we—" They weren't even saying, "We decided to go in another direction." It would be like, "Uh, we only wanna do local." But the person that you put in place of me lives in another state. It's weird. Just be honest. And so it's just like, Lord, your people.

Get your people. We the worst ones sometimes. Okay. During that season, I like— I know that the local church is important to you, and I know one of the challenges of this season is you not being able to be still, like you're all over the place. During that season, like, who is your covering? Where are you covered? Where are you poured into? Consistently?

That's a good question, and it was also very important at the time I wasn't— I was attending a church. No, no, what? No, no, no! What did you say? I'm saying I was trying to decide what I was gonna say, but I was going to a church, but I was like in transition. Yeah, so I was like serving at that church But then it was like, I'm not getting fed here. Yeah. And I was in a space where I needed to be fed. So I stopped going to that church like last year, June. And then I would fly— like I was traveling a lot, so I would fly through different cities and go to church because I'm like, I need to— it was crazy.

Like digital disciples, but in person when I'm there.

Yeah, that was exactly what I was doing. And so then I'm like, this is not sustainable. Like, I need a church. And so one day August, the Lord tells me to like— I'm on Threads and there's a church that comes up called Fearless LA, and God said, go to this church. And I'm like, okay. And he told me to go for an entire month, don't miss a Sunday. And I started going to that church, and I've been going there ever since. Like, I have— the pastors there, um, are really great. I go to discipleship every Monday morning, like, and I saw the difference that made in my life. So the local church is important, um, and I just needed a space where I was like— and I— when I got there and they figured out who I was, they're like, oh, we love? And I was like, I would love to not. I just want to sit down because I didn't realize that in all of my life I never been to a church and just went to church. I'm always like serving, or they want to make me a leader, or they want to—

I don't want to do nothing.

I just want to go here and leave when everybody else leave and come when it— like, it was great. I did that for a year. I just preached for the first time like last month on a Saturday. Yeah. And it felt really great to just get poured into.

So during that season You were in church, serving in church, but was your covering at that church, or just people, spiritual people that you had around?

While that was happening, I didn't have a covering. I didn't have a covering. I didn't have a mentor. I didn't have a— and I did have people in my life. I just wasn't reaching out. Okay. So that, that, that's what made the difference. I was gonna say, that's what made the difference. It was like, I think it was because I was so jarred it was like I didn't really trust anybody. Not because they had done anything to me, it was just like, yeah, who can I trust?

Yeah.

And so I think over time then the Lord started showing me people. And so I literally was gonna make a post this week about the difference a year makes because now I have intentional people that are in my life. Like, save that. All right, I'm just saying, like, I got people.

I don't think it's just a post.

No, it's not a post. Okay, okay, I'm listening. I really love Chrystal Hurst. Y'all do not understand, like, I do.

So being covered, because I know we've got different ages and seasons in here, what would you say to a woman who is, you know, she's 25 to 40, about the importance? Because I think all of us would love to have people in our lives who cover us, mentor us, call us out, disciple us. But if you don't have anyone instead of lamenting that you don't have anyone, what should she do? Find someone.

And I would argue that you do have someone, because I was that same person. Top of last year, I'm like, "Who's discipling us? Like, why nobody calling me? Like, y'all don't see me? I'm struggling." And I'm like, "But nobody knows that you struggling, girl. Like, reel that in." So, I started reaching out. Like, when I— I just started reaching out. Now, don't be weird and reach out to strangers on the internet, because you don't know them. And I think that's weird, guys. But if you do— I'm sorry, it's like the Lord told me he didn't tell you that. Please stop doing that. Okay. But I think like at first I would say pray about it, right? And ask the Lord to show you like people that already exist in your sphere that you have access to that you haven't tapped. Because I was a strong one saying that the older generation does not care about us. They're fighting us. And it's like, no, they do care and they do answer when I pick up. I mean, like when I call. Yeah. Like, so I would say like, get out of like, drop the ego and the pride and just ask. The worst they can say is no. In your career, if you want to grow in your career, you're going to tap everybody, every resource you have. You like, man, I'm trying to get in this room. Hey, can I come and do that? You're going to do that for your career. Why wouldn't you do that?

If you're not doing that for your career, you should.

You should. Absolutely. Yeah.

I think there's an expectation sometimes of what we need that we should have and we need. But if you're not getting what you need, go get it. Yeah. Because there is somebody, whether it's at the job or in the church or in your community, that if you just keep asking, somebody is going to say yes.

Yes. And get on people's nerves. Yes. Like, but not mine or Chrystal Hurst's. No, just kidding. I'm just kidding. But for real, there have been people who will ask and I'm like, nah, I don't got time. But the fact that they keep asking it at least make me go ask the Lord, like, "Lord, who is this person? Like, is this something I'm supposed to do?" So that's what I mean, a little bit.

Who are you mentoring? Do you have people you're mentoring?

I do. And at first I was saying no, but then I thought about how much I needed a mentor, and I don't want them to say no to me. So what does that look like?

Um, is it casual and as we go? Is it we have a standing— what does it look like?

It's both and because of my schedule. So like, the people that travel with me, I'm like, I feel like I disciple them. So that's, they just get access to me all the time. But more recently, I have like 2 mentees. They live on the East Coast. So like, I preached in DC, so she flew to DC and spent the weekend with me. We do at least once a month, we do calls, we talk through the Bible or any questions they have. And then if like there's something pressing, they can hit, like shoot me with a text. It's just like being present with them and doing life with them and being open. And then there, I have like people who are in the industry that I disciple, and that looks like them calling all the time and talking through what they're learning in the Bible. But me getting a front row seat of watching the Bible transform their lives has been like the greatest gift in this season.

I was going to say, I think what people often don't realize on the, on the I'm going to disciple somebody or mentor somebody or cover someone else is the growth and the gift to you in seeing that your actual deposit, and that you don't know everything and you're learning and growing, but that the deposit that you make in someone else's life, that it actually makes a difference.

No, it's— I feel like we don't always get to see it, but I have one person, like, in mind, and I know the stuff she was saying a year ago. And I'm, like, watching her do interviews, and I'm like—

Because there's a difference that a year makes.

Yes, there is a difference. Did you see that? Look how you turned the corner. Keep going. I saw it.

Well, you're great at this. I'm just saying you said it. I'm just making sure you heard it.

Yeah, no, but that's— that's— I'm seeing it. Like, her call me and like, I'm reading in the Bible about sexual immorality and it's like, I got to tell my dude, we got to stop. I'm like, yo, that's a huge thing because it's not because I said you shouldn't be having sex. You're reading scripture and the Lord's convicting you. That's maturity. And the fact that you're convicted and now making a life decision out of it, I'm like, I mean, Lord, I believed in you, but I'm watching the Bible transform her life on its own. And I'm like, yo, this is crazy.

How has your growth in the word transformed your life? Like, beyond the ethereal, I say yes. Like, what is different about how you operate, where you are, how you live? Besides the Chris Brown concert.

I ain't gonna lie, I might have still gone though. I know, but I did that too many times. Not like how I feel after. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna sit this one out. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But how has— man, honestly, I feel like the Bible has transformed my life. Like Genesis to Revelation is like I have a a grasp on how much God loves me. And I live through that. I think like when you grow up in church, you grow up in like what you got to do and how well you got to do it. And I mess up and I make mistakes. I even quit last year. And the idea that God keeps using me, not only that, he keeps pursuing me just to have a relationship with me, is overwhelming. So it makes the yes easier because it's like, bro, he'll never change his mind about me, even when I change my mind about him. And that is like, when you, when you really grasp and comprehend that, it changes the game because the lens in which you receive that love, you can then love others that way. And so I think it's— that's helped me because it's helped me not hold offense. It's helped me and go clean up stuff where I've been wrong or I've wronged people. It's like, man, all of that from the place of first understanding that even my yes is a response to God's love for me. That's good.

What do you feel like is an oncoming yes that you actually haven't settled yet? Can I get you to— is that— yeah, I don't know.

I don't want to talk about it.

I know, but that— I don't know. I feel like I'm— the Spirit told you to ask that?

Yeah.

The Lord told me to tell you. He always—

you know, I don't know who this is for, but I feel like the Lord is, um, like in real time. In real time. Oh, okay. I'm gonna try to say it where it doesn't feel like super deep, right? But you know how like you— okay, you tell the Lord yes and you experience life in a certain way. But then there's like the moment where God's like, I want another yes. And I'm in a space where I don't really know what it is, but it's like I fear what it will cost me. So I've been internally running. Like, you making me be real honest. I do not like it. I'm just kidding. Um, and so, yeah. I think I finally like settled in it, right? Because the scariest thing is to want to remain at the state that you're in and you show up to something God's called you to and he doesn't put his hand on it because he's called you higher. And I feel like I reached a place where God's like, I'm no longer anointing who you were. So you'll still get called, you'll still get booked. They'll still ask you to come to these places. But if you keep showing up the version I've already left, you just going to be stuck there. So you want— who you were is no match for the room that God's calling you to. But who he's calling you to be was assigned to a place that would destroy who you were. So that's the yes where I feel like the Lord is calling me to stand in a different level of authority that I've been running from because I know what it costs. And I feel like I got to a place where he's like, you could say yes or you cannot say, but I promise you, and I don't want to go nowhere without the presence of God. I think that was for you too.

I don't appreciate that. You asked the question. This is the Sister Circle Live with Chrystal Hurst. Yeah, I saw you see that. That's why I wasn't looking at you. I think it was for somebody else too. Where he wants to take you, that's where he is. And if you don't say yes, you can stay where you are and it can still be good, but he's not there. Oh, that's, that's, that's the word. That's the word. So, last thing, they told me to wrap. Last thing. You're 34, about to be 35. Where is marriage on your list of things that you wanna do? Oh, I hope it's around the corner.

Okay? Is that you, Jesus? 'Cause I'm gonna be 35. Come on. What do you do with the—

Well, I'll give words and then you can pick the one that works for you. What do you do with the frustration, question mark, disappointment? Or are you like, I would like it, but I'm actually having the time of my life saying yes, and it'll come when it comes?

Like, where is your— I feel like I live in the middle. Currently, I'm writing about it because I personally— that maybe, but for sure currently, yeah, I'm writing about it only because I feel like there's a reason the Lord called me this way at this time of my life. 'Cause there's a lot of people who are also single, and who are like, "I can't do nothing until the Lord send my husband." That's a lie. That's not true. Yeah. And so, I feel like I have something to say to people who are in my space, and I think I have to say it as a single woman. So, I feel like once I say it, then the Lord will be like, "All right." Right, 'cause if you say it as a married woman— Nobody wanna hear that.

That's right.

We don't wanna hear that, 'cause y'all gotta go home. You know what I'm saying?

The timing of your yes matters. Not that God can't use you later, but there are certain things that he asks you to do in certain seasons that even if you do it in a later season, the potency of the timing of the question matters. Ooh. And so, you could say yes to talking about it later, but the fact that you're writing about it now, which is why even in the middle of your pain, when God says, "Do this now," and you don't know why, if you don't capture it in the middle of your pain, it's less potent if you capture it later. Yeah. Is this an eyelash on your nail? Right here? Is that an eyelash? What is this?

What is this? Oh, I think it's this.

Oh, OK. Girl, it's like your eyelash is falling out. Fire Sean! Do your own makeup!

It's like your lash is on your finger. That's crazy.

Well, listen, God is doing a lot with your life. He's doing a lot with your yeses. Thank you for allowing us to watch you in real time. Wrestle through things, putting yourself out there. You know, the Bible is clear about, you know, youth and whatever decade that's at, not allowing that youth to pass by, assuming that God can't do powerful things while you're there. So it's great to watch you. It's great to know you. I love your boldness, your frankness. I'm like you. Just tell me like it is so I don't have to guess. And I promise you, the next time we do this, no makeup.

Okay? Okay. I'm with it.

Amazing. Y'all, would you help me welcome— or thank— this Brenda Palmer. I love you.