The Biggest Key To Your Success - Failure and Adversity
11 Nov 2025 · 25 min
Ethan Khoza argues that how you handle failure and adversity is the biggest determinant of long-term success in basketball and life. Seeking difficult challenges accelerates growth, and training in high-pressure situations builds adaptability. The difference between good mistakes that teach you and bad ones you repeat is what separates players who improve from those who stall.
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Foreign training podcast. Appreciate you guys who tuned in today. Apple podcasts and Spotify, and of course, everybody who's watching on YouTube right now. Shout out to you guys. If you're on YouTube and you're new, make sure you hit that subscribe button. Got new podcasts coming every single week, as well as other videos spaced out throughout, film breakdowns, workouts. Different stuff is going to help you guys become better players. So make sure you hit that subscribe button if you're new. And of course, if you guys are an Apple podcast, do me a favor, scroll down to the bottom of the page, leave a review. Helps the show out. And as you guys know, at the beginning of every show, if I have any new reviews, I read them. So I've got one today. Comes From M. Long Jr. He says, Fantastic podcast it sell me a tongue. Can you do an episode of your faith and how that interacts with basketball? For me personally, I think today's episode is kind of going to. It's going to delve a little bit into, like, the concept that I think that this brings up. But, you know, for me, I think having faith is just like, for me personally, I think about, you know, a lot of times people go out there, they think like, oh, man, everything's on me. Everything's on me. And everybody, again, everybody's got their own personal views, and I completely respect that. But for me personally, I understand that not everything's on me, right? Because I've got faith in. In God to be working for me as well. So I do my part. But I understand that I'll control everything, right? I understand that I don't control what's going to happen to me at all times. And me personally, I'm a very, like, naturally, like, I want to control everything, right? That's how I am. And so it's hard for me to, like, relax and like, give other people control of stuff or even accept the fact that I can't control everything, right? I have to catch myself sometimes in and recognize that. So for me, having faith in God and giving up control of some stuff and just again, doing the best that I can with what I have, for me is like, that's the biggest thing. Because there's so many times where, you know, with. I don't know, like, I don't know what the answer is going to be. I don't know what the next step is going to be. And a lot of times it's just like taking the next step without knowing exactly what that next step is or what that's going to entail. And I think that becomes way more doable. And I won't say easier. I think it becomes easier. It's a habit, but it becomes something that you're way more. That you can understand. You can actually have faith in it now because you understand that, okay, listen, it's not all on me, right? I trust in God to also be working for me. And again, that's my personal view on things. Again, I respect everybody else as well, but for me, that's definitely how my faith interacts with basketball and with training and all that sort of stuff as well. So kind of talking about that today's episode is going to stem a little bit from the Q and A episode from last week where I had. Somebody asked me what the best piece of advice that I've gotten from a basketball trainer or another or a player or whatever. And so I wanted to talk a little bit more about that. Kind of my answer, like, kind of, you know, build off that a little bit. I said that, you know, I mentioned that one of the biggest things that I've learned, and this might not necessarily be like, you know, I've gotten a ton of great advice, but this was specifically talking about, okay, if I'm going to be somebody who's, like, trying to, you know, grow in this space or whatever, like, you have to be willing to take risks. You have to be willing to take, again, take that next step and put yourself out there with the potential that you might completely fail. Like, you have to be willing to do that, and you have to look for opportunities to just do that on occasion. Like, take a step out and understand that you might completely fall flat on your face and gain nothing. But you also. It also might turn out to be a great thing for you. And, you know, again, me building off of that right now, we're just going to a whole, like, into, like, my own, like, psychology. You guys are gonna full a. Full on, like, you know, Criminal Minds background on me. But I'm a very, like, you know, like I said, I like to be in control of things. It's hard for me to also, like, I naturally am a very cautious person, right? I naturally, like, I. I need to have everything planned, okay, If I do this, this is gonna happen. I know for sure this is gonna happen. So if I say that, then that'll be there. And I like to be able to go, you know, kind of step by step and, like, have every single thing planned out and there's no room for it to fail because I already know that I've crossed everything off the list. I've checked every box. Like, I know that that's going to work, right? That's. That's what I want to be able to do before I do something. But sometimes you can't do that. Sometimes you'd have to just go and do something. And that's where an area that I'm constantly trying to get better at. So that kind of leads into a conversation that I ended with on the podcast or. And that question on the podcast, talking about mistakes and why mistakes and failures and all that are, are good and how you can use those things to, to not only become a better basketball player, but a better person in general and in whatever sort of area that you want to translate in. Again, this is, this is not something like so much of, of the topics I talk about on the podcast are, yes, basketball related, but also like, there's so much of it that translates to just more like, way more than basketball. Right. So it's lessons you can take that will help you in any sort of realm, any area that you go into that you are in already. And, but basketball is such a great way to learn those things. And you know, one of the big, one of the things that I talked about a while ago is like, the concept of like, failure doesn't really exist, right? You can't really fail at something. And what I mean by that is like, I talk about myself when my goal is always to play college basketball. Since I was 12 years old, that's the one to do. So I always worked for it, and that was my goal. And I, you know, I went to all these camps and I went to all these visits and I tried to do all this stuff. And end of the day, I just didn't have any great options at that level. Okay. So, you know, the training thing kind of started to happen as well. And that in tandem with each other is why I decided to forego doing it. But I could look at that and say, you know what? I failed at that. Like, I had a goal, which was to play college basketball, and I didn't get it. So it means that I failed. And that is definitely a way you could look at it. But also I think of it like, okay, I may not have reached that goal, but, but what did I gain from that? Well, I gained all the experience of being a basketball player of training, of trying things and failing and seeing what worked and seeing what didn't work. Now I can relate to all the players that I train that I work with. I know what it's like to be in their shoes. I know what I was thinking when I was in their shoes. And so it helps me to be better at what I'm doing now. And I also have experience now. I can say, I remember doing that when I was a player and it didn't work. And I remember doing that and it did work. And so now I have all these things I can go to. And for me, that is super, super valuable. And so again, you can look at something and say, hey, I failed in that situation, or you can look at it and say, okay, I didn't necessarily achieve what I wanted to, but what did I gain from that? Because I guarantee with something. And again, this is a basketball example. This can be for literally anything, for little, and we're going to dive more into that. But the biggest key to your success as a basketball player and anything but, basketball wise, the biggest key is how you handle adversity. Because basketball is not a perfect game. It's not. And there's missed shots, there's turnovers, there's bad passes, there's bad calls by the refs, there's bad calls by coaches, there's bad teammates. There's all these things that exist in the game of basketball that make it imperfect. And that's just something that you're going to deal, you're always going to deal with the imperfection of basketball to an extent. Now some players might deal with it to less of an extent. Maybe you have great coaches, you have great teammates, and maybe you, you get lucky, right? By the luck of the draw, you just tend to, you know, maybe you have a season where you just, you face less imperfection. But there's also the other end of the spectrum where you might have not great coaches, not great teammates, and you might also be unlucky and face a lot of imperfections within that game. And so every player is going to, going to face that to a certain extent. To a certain extent. And there's just, there's rain is along the spectrum of the imperfection of basketball, but it is an imperfect game. And so that's something that you have to understand and approach the game with understanding. Like, okay, listen, maybe basketball isn't about who can be perfect the most amount of time. Maybe it's about who can handle imperfection the best. That's, that's a way to, to approach it. And I always go back to talking about training because, you know, is your training always perfect? Right? Is your training always catch and shoot, no rush, no defense, make or miss it's okay. It doesn't matter. I'm gonna go do my ball handling and it's nice and easy and I don't ever miss. I don't ever mess up. I don't ever lose the ball. If that's how you train, then when you get into an imperfect, an imperfect situation in a game or what do you think is going to happen? And especially if you get unlucky and you face a lot of imperfection in the game of basketball, well, if you don't train for it, then you're going to struggle. And again, I've talked about that in my last podcast, the Q and A. I talked about that a good amount as well. So go ahead and check that out if you're not. But that's again, going back to the word adaptability I talk about all the time. That's where building adaptability becomes super, super important if you want to succeed in an imperfect game. So all that to say the, the players who can handle that adversity of things going wrong and still being able to overcome it, those are the players who are going to be the best anytime that we're training, especially with players who are better shooters, especially, like, we can build. We build so much when it comes to just making things difficult. Like, I'll take a cut. Some of my players who are like, great shooters, like, if they walk into the gym in 99 of gyms they walk into, they're probably going to be, if not the best shooter in the top three, right, of, of anybody, of any gym that they walk into. And I can put them in situations in workouts where, like, they look very, very mediocre as shooters or at least average, right? Where I can say, okay, if I, if I put them on the wing and I say, okay, you're going to shoot 10, catch and shoot threes. They'll probably make eight, nine, 10 of them. But then all of a sudden, okay, now I throw. We work off a bad pass. So now you're going to catch it and the pass is going to be horrible. I might throw it at your feet. I might throw it so you have to jump for it. I might throw it to the side. I might roll it to you like I'm bowling, right? I might throw some weird spin on it. I might do whatever, right? And now you got to shoot off that. So there's an element of imperfection that's going to cause you to miss a little bit more, okay. And then we can add more stuff to that. Like, well, I contest to it. So now I'm going to really rush the way that you shoot the basketball. So it's not going to be perfect. So, you know, we were doing a drill the other day with two of my players and it was basically working off of like a, like a step back, but really it was more of like a, like a backpedal almost. So they, you basically started with your, with your left foot forward, dribbling the basketball and then you would basically step back like behind the three point line. You'd be like a step in from the three point line as soon as you picked your foot up to step back and into your shot that that defender is probably three or four feet away, would immediately contest the shot. You have to get it off. And the two players I was with are really, really good shooters, like great shooters, right? Both of them were like one's one cam is going into. My younger brother going to play college basketball this year was a 40% shooter in high school, like all state player, great shooter, but we can make, I could really make him struggle when I add that element to what we do, right? So now we're trained to be adaptable. So when you get to a game and the shot's not perfect and it's a little bit more contested than would be ideal, you're still able to make the shot because you've trained for it. You've trained in difficult situations, in imperfect situations where, yeah, you might never shoot that concession shot in a game, you might never do it. But in the rare case that you face a contest or you have to shoot coming off of moving backwards, you're prepared for it, you've done that before. There's a million ways we can do that we can work off of. A lot of times we'll work with our feet facing, we'll start facing the sideline. So maybe I'll start the free throw line, my chest facing the sideline. I've got to jump, turn and square in the air as I shoot the basketball. So now we're working on, not necessarily, you know, at every point in the game are you going to be facing the basket when you get a shot off. So are you able to turn yourself in the air and adjust and be able to square yourself after you've already left the ground and then make the shot? There's another element of adaptability. So instead of just working on normal catch and shoot, we just simply add a turn to it. And now all of a sudden it makes a drill that much more challenging, but also again, prepares you to be adaptable in Those situations where you may need it. So that's, that's again talking about adversity, overcoming that. That's why it's super, super important. And that's how we can kind of start to build that is just, okay, how can I take this drill and make it more difficult? And if you can do that, then that's where you start to build that ability to overcome adversity and to be adaptable. And, and like I said, the biggest thing to your success is how well you handle adversity and that imperfection that comes along with the game of basketball. So I want to talk a little bit about dealing with bad games because this is a question I get a lot and I think that there's different ways to look at it. I think the first thing to think about is like you want to relax, right? I think sometimes people like players will over, they'll, they'll overblow one game, right? You have one bad game, like everybody has bad games. There is no getting right. It doesn't matter how great you are, you're going to have a bad game once in a while. You might have a stretch of two, three bad games. But the thing to understand is that basketball is not linear. Results are not linear. So it's not like every single game you're going to play the same and it's not like every single game you're going to play a little bit better than the last game. You can't say, oh, you know this workout, you know, and this is what I always say, like in my workouts, like all, there will be times where like my players will come in, they'll have a great workout, they'll make a lot of shots. The next workout they might make way less shots, they might play worse. That workout, does that mean that they got worse? And no, but it means that the results are not linear. It means that you're not going to go in and make the same amount of shots every single day. You're not going to go in. You might have a 20 point game one day, it doesn't mean that the next day you're going to have a 21 point game and that doesn't mean the day after that you're going to have a 22 point game. That's not how it works. You might have a 20 point game and the next game you're only going to have eight points. That's how it is sometimes. So sometimes you're going to be great and sometimes you're not going to be great. But you have to Understand something called the law of averages. And basically all that means is that everything is going to average itself out. So if you are a 10 points per game level scorer, well, you might have a 20 point game, but at some point that's going to, that's going to go down. So let's say, you know, you're a 10 points per game scorer. Maybe you score 15 points your first game of the season, right. But then your next game you score five and now you're back at 10, right. You might have a stretch where you score four straight games at 15, but then your next four games are at five. So you're, you're still at that 10. So that's obviously an exaggerated version of that. But all that I'm saying is that you're not necessarily going to like, you're going to be what you are. So that's why I say you can't like, you got to relax if it's like a couple bad games. Because at the end of the season when you have your full sample size, you're going to be what you are. If you only average two points per game, that's because you're a two points per game player. It's not because you, you play bad. Those season you played to what you were, you were a two points per game score. If you were at 18 points per game score, then that's what you're going to average. That's what it's going to be. And of course there can be exceptions to that when it comes to, you know, whatever the circumstances may be. I understand that, but I'm giving you guys in general, that's how it is. The law of average is going to work itself out. So you know, you understanding that you have to know that like one game, two games, three games is very small sample size and things tend to average themselves out. So if you know that you are playing a lot worse than you actually are, well then the log average is going to work it out and you're going to get to that point. So you can't overreact after one, two, three bad games. Right? That's, that's something that I'll get from players. Oh, coach, I got a good deal. Coach, I had a bad game. I don't know what to do. Typically, I'm like, you just got to relax. Like it's one bad game. It happens, okay? You can't freak out after one bad game. Two bad games. It is what it is. That happens to the best players in the world. Right? MJ didn't have a great. You know, again, contrary to popular belief, Michael Jordan did not score 50 points every single game. He didn't. Right. Because he didn't average 50 points a game for his career. Like, he didn't do that. So that must mean that Michael Jordan had games where he didn't score 50 points. Right. Everybody has. Everybody has days where they're not their best. That's just how it is. So you have to understand that, first of all, you have to evaluate that. The bad games, though, understand, is like, is it an uncharacteristic game? Did I miss shots that I can normally make? Did I turn the ball over when I normally wouldn't turn the ball over? Again, that stuff sort of happens. You got to be okay with that. But also you have to ask, is that a deeper issue? So, you know, did you struggle to handle pressure? Right. Maybe you played a team that really pressured you and you just couldn't handle. You turn the ball a bunch of times. You made bad decisions, you were rushed. Well, that might mean that you just got to get better handling pressure. Like that might be that you actually need to get better at something. So again, the law of average is going to work itself out. If you're not good at handling pressure, then you might have a great game. When you play against a team that doesn't pressure you very much, but at some point it's going to come back, and when you start to face pressure, you're going to become a player who doesn't handle pressure well because that's what, that's what you are, and that's what everybody's going to see. So that's something to understand. Those things are fixable, though, right? Those are things you have to work on, all that sort of stuff. But there's a difference between having a bad game uncharacteristically because you missed shots or you just made a couple bad plays that you normally wouldn't do, and struggling because you don't handle pressure well, or you tried to force shots or force plays that weren't there. You can fix those. You can fix those things, but you have to understand what side that's on. And the best way to do that is just to watch film of the game so you get a chance to see, like, oh, man, I. I guess I don't really handle pressure very well. Or maybe say, hey, I mean, I definitely tried to force that there. I shouldn't have done that. And that's where you can improve game to game. And I think that's a super important thing to understand. So the other thing you do, of course, is talk to your coaches, too, because that's the other thing. I'll get. I'll get DMs from players asking me about specific situations of games. Coach, I came down the court and, you know, I saw my teammate was open, but then I also. I wanted to score. Like, I tried to score right there. Should I pass my teammate there? I can't answer that question for you because I'm not in the gym watching, and I'm not your coach. I don't know what your coach's philosophy is. So don't ask me those specific questions. I can't help you with it. You got to go ask your coaches, because they're the ones who actually would know that. Okay? And talking to your coach, I think, is something that is super important when it comes to evaluating where you're at. And, you know, if you need to, again, figure out what side of the spectrum. Was it a bad game just because that's what happens sometimes or is a bad game because you. There was something that you did that was fixable. That's. That's one thing that's important to know the difference between. But again, guys, the biggest thing that I can go, that I can say to you guys is that mistakes, failures can be a really good thing if you use them in the right way. And I. I think about. I thought I was thinking about this today. You know, at our team workout. I'm. You know, I tell my guys anytime that I'm, like, spotting them on, like, a bench or whatever, like, I'll tell them, okay, guys, you know, they're always so focused on, like, okay, we've got to do our first sets, 12 reps, our second sets, 10 reps, and our third sets, 8 reps. So I have to get 12, 10, 8. Every week. I have to make sure I get every single one. I tell them, like, guys, it's okay if you're on that third set, you get to rep number six, and you fail on that rep, right? It's okay if you do that, because if you never get to a point where you reach failure, then you're not actually pushing yourself to the maximum that you could be. And you also don't know what your true limits are, so you don't know where to go from there. If you feel like you have to play it safe and always like, okay, I got to get 12, I got to get 10, I got to get 8, then you're never going to grow, right? Physically and in terms of like, any other aspect, like, physically, you're not going to grow as much in strength if you don't push yourself to as much as you can. And in the same way in any other aspects, you're not going to grow as much if you don't push yourself to that limit. And so that's something that I always remind them, and that goes for literally any area, right? So it's not fun to fail. It's not fun to make a mistake. It doesn't feel good in the moment, but in the long term, that's actually the best thing for you. And the thing you have to understand is the difference between good mistakes and bad mistakes. Okay? A good mistake is not you forgetting a play during a game. Like, that's not an acceptable mistake. That's a very controllable thing that you just should not mess up. You shouldn't mess up a play. You should know the plays. You know. A good mistake is not failing at the same thing over and over again in the context of an actual game, especially if it's something that your coaches have told you about. Right? For example, let's say that you are supposed to be get all the way across the paint and help early to help on the drive, and you're constantly late on help, and you constantly are either having a foul or you're just giving up layouts because you're late in help. That's not an acceptable mistake. That's either a lack of focus or it's a lack of effort. Regardless, neither are acceptable things. But a good mistake is losing the ball in a ball handling drill because you're pushing yourself. Right? A good mistake is, or I should say a good series of mistakes or failures is like I was talking about earlier, you know, being in a shooting drill, that's really challenging for you and you missing more shots, that's. That's a good thing, right? Typically, again, you know, you don't want to be in a drill where you're shooting 10%, but if you're in a drill where you're shooting 20, 30% worse than you might normally do because the, the level of difficulty is higher, that can be a really good thing for you, going to, you know, going to play somebody one on one who's a lot better than you, and losing to them is not a bad thing. Right? I give the example sometimes of like, okay, is it better to go play one on one against somebody who you know you're better than? And you, you know, you play a series seven, you beat them 4, 0. Is it better to do that because you won, right? You won. Is it better to do that or is it better to play somebody who's better than you and you lose that series? Four, two, right? One series you won and one that you lost. So is it better to win or is it better to lose? In some. In some instances, it's better to lose. You're going to get better playing against that person who challenges you as opposed to somebody who you know that you can beat. So it's not always about winning and losing. Sometimes losing is actually the better thing for you. So the biggest thing I can say when it comes to becoming a player who handles adversity is you have to seek out failure, seek out opportunities to lose. I always talk about, I love walking into the gym when I'm going to play pickup or whatever and being like, oh, man, I think I might be the worst player in this gym. I might look around and say, hey, wow, I might be the worst player in this gym. And that's where you want to be at because that's how, you know, like, I have to elevate myself because I'm not going to be the one who's going to let my team down because, you know, everyone's going to go at me or I'm going to miss shots. Like, I've got to. I've got to play better now. I've got to be better. And that forces you to become as good as you can be. So you want to. To build at that point and seek out opportunities to fail. Even if I go to that pickup run and I'm the worst player there and, you know, I get scored on or whatever, like, it's fine because that's going to make me a better player long term. I'm going to get better off of that as opposed to whoever. The best player in that gym is probably not going to have to make as much progress as I'm going to have to make just to keep up that. That's what the goal should be, is you want to put yourself in a position where it's difficult, it's challenging, and that forces you to grow and become as good as you can possibly be. So I hope that that that helps you guys. That's a message that I think is such a big key. If you have that understanding and, like, you are willing to fail and you are, you understand that failure can be a great thing. If you use it and learn from it, then you're going to put yourself ahead of a lot of players who get so worried about losing and so worried about how they look, and so worried about all that sort of stuff as opposed to just long term. My focus is long term, what is going to put me in the best position to succeed long term. And when you constantly focus on that, that is going to lead you to become the best player you can be long term. So appreciate you guys who are listening who are tuned in again. Apple Podcast. Go down and leave a review for me. Let me know what you think of the show. And if you guys are on YouTube right now, drop a like subscribe if you are new as always. You guys have any questions for me, send me a DM on Instagram @ Vision Driven Basketball. If you don't have any questions, give me a follow anyway so you can keep up with what I'm posting. I'll talk to you guys soon. Peace.
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