The Players and Coaches Who Master THIS Will Dominate the Next 10 Years

This actually is a really good segue into becoming a more confident basketball player because when I initially dmd you and I was like, I want to talk about this topic, I told you that like I kind of have an alternative view of confidence and self efficacy. Self efficacy is just a fancy way of saying confidence. It's the perception of your abilities. Yeah, that's what sports psychologists term it. And the reason that I think I have an alternative view is because I think the way that most people view confidence, they say these are the behaviors or these are the actions that I have to take in order to improve my confidence. Like somehow if I do X, Y and Z, I will change my psyche. I will change the way that I perceive my abilities. But I believe that is an incomplete view of confidence and the perception of your abilities for two reasons that I can think of at least off the top of my head. One, something that we frequently talk about, which is that there are players that don't really train all that much or they at least don't train in controlled environments. And they don't train as much in quantity as a lot of players that don't believe, don't have much faith in their own abilities that are more confident than those players. You can pretty clearly see it. So that's, that's really the first reason is if it was about behaviors and if it was purely about taking actions that will change your psyche. In other words, you're making a bottom up, you're taking a bottom up approach to confidence, then the players that train the most or the players that train either train the most or put themselves in those controlled environments in a, in even a strategic manner. The most, those would be the most confident players. But that's not always the case. It's not like a consistent pattern. That's, that's reason number one. Number two, the perception of your abilities starts with the brain and the mind and behaviors are carried out by the body. They're two separate entities. So I believe that there's a model that players can start to. And I, I'm not acting like I have all the answers. I didn't like go to school for sports psych. But what I am saying is there's is a way that players can change confidence from the top down, meaning they can influence the mind and the awareness of the psyche and the thoughts and emotions that we experience to ultimately alter how that affects the behaviors that we carry out. So it's essentially a loop. You, you have to consider both. You cannot leave the top down approach out.

If a Player were to say, okay, I hear you. What do you think needs to change in terms of how I approach building confidence or being confident?

What I think it starts with fundamentally is what I was saying earlier. I'm trying to focus on building my self awareness and building my presence field. These are, that's actually a more technical term that Eckhart Tolle mentions in his book the Power of Now. Basically it's the idea, idea that I'm sure people are familiar with the idea of flow. If people understand what flow is, then they can kind of understand that flow is like so, so flow for anybody that doesn't know and so that we're on the same page is when you are so invested in a particular task, activity, behavior that you just enjoy doing that thing for the sheer sake of doing it. In other words, you're not necessarily focused on achieving a goal or getting to some sort of end. You are enjoying the means, you're enjoying the activity in and of itself. You create this flow. The, the, the word, the term is very intuitive. Flow. It paints a picture of like, imagine like water, you know, flowing through a hose or like, or like a, or like a waterfall, right? The cycle of this, this flow of water is made easier the more, the more it is uninterrupted. So when you first turn on a hose, the, the water may not be flowing, quote unquote, very smoothly in the beginning, but if you keep it on, it will just start running and running and running. You cannot expect to live a life where you're super present and you are really good at controlling the controllables. If you don't provide yourself space to stay in that state for extended periods of time, you cannot keep interrupting it or else you're never going to get good at being self aware. You, you're never going to get good at being present.

And we know life is the present moment. That's all it is.

I actually love that thought too because when it comes to like skill acquisition or, or whatever, and I know you and I have some similar thoughts on that, it's like a mindset shift for players to understand it too because for them, and I've had parents come up to me after workouts, they'll be like, well, I feel like they were missing a lot. Or like, you know, I feel like you didn't, you didn't like, you didn't tell them what they were doing wrong or this or that. And then for, for some players it's like they get so frustrated because my job environment where you're going to struggle where there's going to be some reason for you to have to improve. Like, we have to force that improvement. And so there has to be some mess ups, there has to be some failure. And that's like, that's, that's the most important part of it. But so many players, I think, like judge it. They judge themselves, they judge their effort, they judge the outcome of it and they're like, oh man, like I, I've missed three shot, three shots in a row like this. I'm doing so bad, or I just lost the ball again, I'm doing so bad or you know, I keep on getting, you know, I keep getting scored on or I keep getting stopped. And that I think breaks that flow so much because players think that it's all about like they go in there, like you said, with that goal of perfection. If you're in the right environment, you won't be perfect. And you can't be if your goal is, hey, we're here to get better and you want to be here to get better. That's got to be like where your mind is at the whole time is just like keeping yourself in there and then knowing like, hey, if I just keep on going through it regardless of how I feel about it and without judging myself in terms of this is negative. This is, this is, this is really good. With the flip side of it. I think that's like the most important part. But it's also, I think the hardest part for players to grasp, especially younger players. That's not the common thought. It's I got to go out there and shoot 100%, I got to never turn the ball over and, and if I do, it's bad and I'm bad and I'm not. This isn't what success is. Like, like for my team this year, that was the hardest part for a lot of guys to get. It's like practices were so different this year because everything was built around putting them in, in situations that they're battle tested and that they're ready to go. And like some guys early on like broke a little bit because of it. And then when some of them are able to step back and just like be there and just do it, then they see weeks, months down the line. How that's like the most important thing you could have.

I'm curious. So two, two questions kind of like jumped into my head as you were talking. One, since you kind of left off with this is how did you go about improving their relationship with that?

I think one thing that and this is something I want to dive deeper in. Like, I'm gonna probably make a whole video on this. But being able to, like, help them celebrate small wins, I think is huge just in the context of a drill. So if we're doing a finishing drill, and I know a player struggles going left or I know they, they struggle finishing through contact or driving into contact when they have opportunities where they try and do that thing, like the decision to do it is correct or the focus on what they should be trying to improve on is correct. A lot of times for them, if, if they go and they miss the shot anyway, they throw the whole thing away like, oh, that was terrible. And they don't get any sort of like, hey, that was actually the, the perfect decision you just made right there. You just happen to miss it. And so for, for those guys that's being able to lock into. Okay, it's not always about the outcome of it. It's about the decision that I made. And, and was the, was the decision that I made purposeful in terms of trying to get better at something? And I think being able to help them understand that part that I'm not looking for you to be perfect. I'm looking for you to, to focus on the right things. And so those making the right decision or we work on an action, whereas let's say we're working on like using pin downs and they make a great read to, you know, go back door because their defender jumps it early and, you know, they catch it and they, they miss the layup or what, whatever happens, being able to stop it and say, hey, that right there though, was the right choice you made. And so they detach a little bit from the outcome that they don't control and they get hyper focused on the part that they do control. And that like, that right there, I think is probably the number one thing that I approached it with to like, get them to think that way.

And then the battle that you deal with at that point for the, for the players that are more analytical is like, it begs the question, at what point should I be, if I'm a player, should I be worried? Oh, like my coach said that, oh, that was the right decision. That was the right decision. Like, keep being process oriented, that their, their intuition is telling them that they're not getting a favorable outcome compared to alternatives. At what point do I say maybe that my coach wasn't bullshitting, but he had a hypothesis or a theory that didn't pan out? You know, at what point do we give the autonomy to Players to come to that realization. I think, like, you have to have the empathy as a coach to understand that making that mental shift to becoming more process oriented is not something that happens overnight. You have to be sympathetic toward the mind's habit to want to go back to fixating on the outcome.

Yeah.

And, and even explicitly express that, like, hey, I know you're still the, if we actually just look at the outcomes at face value. Yeah, I, I, I feel you, dude. I hear you. Like, you're, yeah, you're doing worse than you did before. But if, then you can scientifically justify, okay, like, this is what I expect to happen a week or two weeks from now. The more that we chip away at this, that's a more complete view and that gives players more reassurance. So, yeah, you're being process oriented, but then you also recognize you're kind of playing chess. You know what questions are going to arise for them if they run into more complications.

That's one of the toughest parts. And that's why I felt like it took pretty much a whole three and a half, four month season for some guys to like, be able to be okay with that. Like, it definitely wasn't an overnight thing. I think one thing that helped a lot was the amount of film that we watch too, where we, we can look at a situation in a game and, and then it becomes like, you almost help them answer it themselves. Really. Okay, what, what could you have done differently right there? Or why did that happen? And then they almost start to piece together. And then for certain guys, like, it's obviously different. Like, you got guys who, you know, whatever their affordances are different. Some guys bigger, some guys are more athletic, some guy has a matchup advantage, some guy's a better shooter and you help them to almost like, own their own game. Where it's like, okay, what do I do well and how can I, like, what could I change or what can I adjust to do differently to, to be able to use that in that moment right there. And then that right there gives them confidence that, hey, when we go back onto the, onto the practice floor or whatever the stuff that I'm saying, like, I even challenge them. Like, hey, listen, if, if you see something in film that you feel like I'm wrong on, tell me. Like, I, I want to have that conversation because I also, I don't want to go out there and tell you to do something and it's not correct. Like, I'm here to win. I don't, I'm not here to, like, Be the boss or, you know, tell you what to do. Like, I'm just trying to win games. And so I think for those guys having that sort of ownership, like, that was one of our, our big words is ownership. And that's, that's a part of it too, is being able to look and say, okay, in this situation, here's what happened. What can we do to fix it? What can we do to adjust right here? We had a kid who was, I mean, really good player, like, averaged like 20 a game, had a couple games where he was up close to 40. But he just, and team started to notice that he, he just didn't want to go left. Like, it just, just didn't want to do it. He could shoot the ball really well, really athletic, going to his right. But he just like, didn't, didn't want to go left. He started to play him that way. And so that became like a topic of conversation where it's like, okay, I'm not sitting here like trying to criticize you. I'm not sitting here trying to pick on you. But when you look at this clip right here, how are they playing you? Or I'll ask like, hey, if, if a team was in a game plan for you, what, what are they putting on the game plan? And then that's where they start to be able to take some ownership of those things that they're trying to, to improve on. So I think, I think that's one thing and I think if I learned anything this year, it was how important apathy is. Because it's, it's hard, like it's really hard to, to make that adjustment and be able to stick with it every day. Like, it's really hard to do. And especially when you're asking guys who haven't done it before and haven't built the habit and have a, have a, like a converse way of thinking that they're still, you know, that they're still in. And so it's trying to meet guys where they're at with that sort of stuff right there. But I think watching film and giving them stuff like that to like to again take ownership of it, I think that helps a lot with just flipping how they view it.

You mentioned they started catching on to the fact, team started catching on to the fact that he did not like going left. And so just being observant, that that is unfolding. The caveat is that I'm going to try to like, really build this out here. Like, I was talking about being aware, being, being self aware and like being, being present and, and now, now we're talking about being aware of your surroundings. Like being aware of the environment. I, I think that your ability to actually observe your environment is like really limited by, by your ability to, to be self aware and like in tune with your, in tune with your thoughts and your emotions. You can think about it this way. You, you are the, the individual interacting with, with, with the world around you. Like you can try to understand other people's consciousness but like you really don't, you really don't have the potential to understand other people's consciousness more than you do your, your own. Like, and it's not even close because of that and because like you, you are the one interacting with, with the environment. How, how do you expect to be good at being aware and being observant of, of what's around you if you don't even understand yourself? Like you don't even, you're not even like aware of like what's going on up here. That doesn't make much sense to me. And we have I think like a huge like this is like an epidemic. And I'm kind of going on a tangent here. But, but, but you asked me like what things you can actually do to improve that. And, and I mentioned, I mentioned that it starts with, with self awareness and what, what people are doing. They're, we have, we're using social media and technology more and more and more as time goes on. It's only going to get, it's only going to get more rampant with the emergence of AI and how much smarter these companies are getting like meta and whatever at getting people hooked to technology and, and social media. It's only players inability to, to tap into themselves and actually be aware of themselves is only going to get worse if this, if this trend continues will only get worse. And that is at the root of being a confident player. You have to understand and build a good relationship with the self. You're giving yourself no space to do that by detaching. That's literally what you're doing by, by doom scrolling that, that, that's what you're doing. You're, you are, you're letting go completely. You are completely detached. And people, kids do this for hours.

On end and then they get into the real world where the responsibilities just.

Exponentially grow and they, they wonder why. Damn, like why can't I focus on something so simple? And then it's this cycle of guilt and negative emo. If you just want to call it negativity. Like that's really what it is, it's this cycle where, where, where that, that realization first hits where you're like why can't I focus? And, and it continues unless, unless you give yourself the space to understand your psyche.

It's so crazy how different. It's like the school I coach at, I played there seven years ago. Just the difference in the just overall mindset and ability to handle adversity and to stay focused on something is it is. It's a different world now than it was 70, which doesn't even feel like that long ago. But the amount of things that have happened in the last seven years like technology, Covid, all that sort of stuff and it's pushing players, the kids in general, people in general in just like the, a very self destructive way or in a way that is not at all like beneficial for achieving anything. And so such a big part of, of training, coaching now is like trying to work against that. But it's so ingrained and it's something that gets built upon every single day more and more and more. It's. It's hard to, it's hard to. To know sometimes like okay, do I need to change how I'm teaching it or is this like, is this a problem that isn't going to be fixed? You know what I mean?

Especially because education starts basically from the moment you're born. These kids kids brains are more plastic and so if anything there is more of a need at the youth level and the high school level to, to.

Take that top down approach and be more global with the impact that you have on them.

And what we're saying right now underpins.

Everything like you can't make you, you, it, your ability, the team's ability to make progress on their skill. Whether that's tactical technical is all limited and underpinned by what we're talking about right now. I swear to God it's gonna fee. It will even feel weird for me. Dude.

I'm like strongly considering the next time I I literally have an AAU practice tomorrow with seventh graders. I really might spend the, the first 10 minutes doing a journaling activity.

I swear to God I might actually start doing that.

You hear stories of like Phil Jackson doing yoga and meditation and like journaling with his, with his team.

It shouldn't be we.

Why is there a stigma?

Why is it weird? I think the only reason I would.

Really feel awkward is because only other people don't do it.

And that is not a reason why not to do something not in and of itself.

I did a lot of journaling back when, speaking of, of gyms and moving gyms. Back when I was at the, my, like my old gym, I would do like with my like high school kids. We would journal after every workout. So I'd see some of those kids two or three times a week. And for probably a year and a half, a lot of them were journaling at the end of every workout. And sometimes it would be. I'd have a prompt sometimes. Other times it would just be kind of like evaluating how they felt about the workout and just being able to sit, to be like, look inside yourself and be able to like pick apart. How do I feel about this? What's going on? I think for them, they appreciated that and enjoyed that because you don't get opportunities to just like, stop.

Yes, dude.

You know what I mean? Getting that benefit of being able to say, hey, stop yourself and just like be present while you write or answer whatever sort of prompt it is right there. Like, I think that is something that does have some like, big time positives when we think about it in the context that we're talking about this stuff.

You know, I'm sorry, I keep going back to like, to like talking about like super like scientific and like, like nerdy like frameworks of understanding. But like, it's really important to, to have these perspectives. He. Let me, let me, let me explain. Explain. Like the, the emergence of, of social.

Media and technology this way and like.

The addiction and the, the, the associated addiction.

I was listening to Robert Green earlier.

Today and it, it bro. He was talking about this and I was like, wow.

Like, when you really think about it.

It is so nuts how they have gamed us. They made us fools. Like, we're like puppets. Seriously, we are puppets of agendas. What does it mean to be a puppet? I picture the toys that are being like suspended from strings.

Yeah.

They have no ability to move. They're just being controlled by the string and whoever is behind the stage moving a lever or whatever to move the puppet. I mean, that's what Instagram tick tock. That's like what it's doing. And that is the complete opposite end of the spectrum of, of presence. Yeah, it's a complete opposite. You're being controlled by some. Something else. And I actually recently posted like a, a snippet from a, like a YouTube.

YouTuber and a streamer that like talks a lot about emotional intelligence and spirituality.

And he had a similar point. You really have to like sit back and realize this, be like, because. Or else, like, you're just forever going to live a life where you find yourself in cycles that drain you, that bring negativity and then like, it takes you days, weeks, maybe even months to like, realize what just happened.

Pixels on a screen.

Why were they able to con, like.

Control me in this manner?

Like, seriously, until, until like we solve this, like, the players that do solve.

This, like, and, and master this aspect.

Of the, of their, their existence, they will have a massive competitive advantage.

Yeah.

And no teams.

I have not heard a story of a college.

Maybe I just haven't looked. And I, I actually, when we get off this call, would love to go.

Out of my way to actually look.

To see if, hey, are there any, like, college programs that are doing weird stuff like this, journaling, meditation activities where they're getting players, like, more in tune with this aspect of their being.