5 Unusual Ways to Build Confidence | Mastermind Session Replay

Okay, so welcome everyone.

I—

in today's mastermind session, in this week every Wednesday at 9:30 PM India time, which is 5 PM now UK time and 12 noon EST, for all the people of this community, we come here We come here to discuss something which is of importance. We come here something discuss which is exciting, and we do a lot of stuff. We also get some guest speakers. We, we're gonna have a lot more celebration coming. So the topic that I chose this week is what are the 5 unusual ways to build self-confidence. Before we deep dive into what are the 5 ways, what do you think is the importance of self-confidence? Why do we need to have Self-confidence. What exactly is self-confidence? Anybody wants to unmute?

Yeah, if you have self-confidence, then you can express yourself in a better way to any unknown person or a known person, right?

It's a great way to express yourself in front of others. Okay, anyone else?

It is better to express yourself.

Yeah, yeah, it's a good way to express yourself.

What else?

And it is, it is developed by the practicing only, the self-confidence.

Yeah, yeah. So it's a skill you can, you can build on that, you can work and, and increase your confidence.

Yes.

Okay, so by definition, the confidence or self-confidence is that when you feel you are confident, when you feel that you can do something. And it generally— we feel the confidence is only about expressing, but it's also about our skills. If it is about public speaking, whether it's about our coding skill, whether it's about our marketing skills We have a certain level of confidence in us. We feel that, can we do this or can we not do this? What are the chances? What are the percentage? And that is what is confidence. Now, what happens if we have a lack of confidence?

You will miss the opportunities in your life.

Yep, sometimes we miss the opportunities.

Even we cannot speak in front of others, right?

We're not able to express something we know, but due to lack of confidence, we cannot express the things which we know.

We know stuff, but because we are not confident, because we're not sure how people will perceive, even though we know, we are not able to tell to others.

Great.

Any other viewpoints on why confidence is so important? All right, I guess all of you are right. It's very important to have confidence because unless you believe in yourself, unless you believe that you can achieve this, you can do this, you can earn, you can speak, you can build something You know, as they say, everything is made twice— once in our mind and then actually in the world. And if you're not able to build that self-image, build that, that big vision, we are not able to actually do it in the real world, right? Everything is energy, and if you're not able to produce that positive energy, produce that confidence, then we're not able to do that. So today I want to cover 5 unusual— yeah, I know there is a spelling mistake, you can pardon me for that— unusual ways to build self-confidence. Now some of you may not feel that this is unusual, but I found when I collated all this, it was very interesting. So are you ready to know what are the 5 unusual ways to build confidence? Type yes in the chat. Let's be active. Okay, yes says yes. Ashwini says yes. Vanna says yes. Lovely. So let's start with number 1 unusual way to build confidence, and that seems Learning skills. Thank you, Chris and Navneet. Yeah, and everybody, thank you. Great, now I know everybody is awake. So learning new skills, as they say, our mind is so much full of potential, but if we don't use that, if we don't engage our mind, what happens is we get into this negative self-talk, we get into that toxicity, toxicity. So it's very important that we are learning new skills, we are learning new things, we are talking about new things that's happening. So that is why if you keep on learning new skills, it builds your confidence. And how do you do that? I just listed down 4. These are not the only 4 ways. I just listed down on the— you can read books. Amazing, there's so many types of book, any genre you can pick. Every genre there is something to learn, something to grow, something for you to practice. Listen to podcasts. Those who know me know how much I value podcasts, uh, different types of podcasts, whether it's about money, whether it's about success, whether it's about business, whether it's about technology, whether it's about presentation, any and every topic. You can learn so much, and when you keep learning, it actually builds on your confidence. It keeps on adding another layer. And when somebody asks you, now you say, yeah, I've read about that, I've learned about that., and you can practice on the go. This also helps you with impromptu speaking as well. When somebody asks you, because you have a wide variety of knowledge and skills, it adds to your conversation and you can bring a new perspective, a different perspective. So learning new skills, whether through books or podcasts, YouTube, online, and there may be multiple more ways. You can even talk to people who are expert in that area and get someone inside for that. Learning new skills builds your confidence. Sounds good. All right, let's go to the second one, which is celebration. How many times have you ever thought that once I achieve this big milestone, I will have the biggest celebration? If I become the world champion, 'If I get this big project.' We need to celebrate the big wins, but at times we also need to celebrate the small wins. Even if you're giving your first speech, it's a celebration. That means even if you're doing your first paid gigs, even if you are doing your first delivery of the project, even if you are just talking to somebody stranger where you are actually freaked out before that, Celebrating, acknowledging those things adds or boosts your self-confidence. So whenever you're doing new things, celebrate. You don't have to go big, all out, and say, okay, every time I do something new, I'm gonna throw a $1,000 or, uh, £500 party. You don't have to do that. But celebrating small— even going for a small walk, having one candy, anything just to give you that positive feedback to yourself that, yeah, I'm making some progress, I'm doing something better. Now, even watching some, some fun video could be a way of celebration. Anything and everything that can help you celebrate, make it— make that big and small, especially the small wins celebration, that boosts your confidence. Because, you know, when you keep on winning small, small things That's when one day you achieve the big thing. So, and that boosts your self-confidence. So do you agree celebrating big and small wins? Type yes in the chat. Lovely, lovely, lovely. So what has been your win this week? Anybody wants to unmute and share? Any wins that happened this week?

Yeah, yes, I have got, I have got an award for as giving the smile and getting more appreciation from the customer side by my last week.

Lovely, lovely, amazing. So how did you celebrate?

I go for movie with my family.

Wow, exactly. Lovely.

I got a voucher of Amazon, so near about 500.

Wow.

Yeah, that, that's a good way. But even if you don't get voucher from anybody else, you can sponsor your own voucher, right?

Even— sure, sure, in future I can.

Lovely.

Let's move on to third one. Is this all making sense? Learning new skills and then celebrating small wins. All right, let's move on to the third unusual way to build your self-confidence. Do something physical every day. Now this may sound like, how does that, how does that physical thing relates to self-confidence? But when you add some physicality to you every day, and it could be— I just listed down 3 things, it could be anything you, you're going hitting the gym, you are doing boxing, you're doing walking, you are doing yoga, you're doing anything that adds, that, that helps you. Whenever you have this sweat coming out of your mind, there is— it's been researched and proven that, no, that well builds your self-esteem, that makes you feel like, yes, I've got this kick, I can do that. So doing something physically, even if it's going for an a walk, I would say probably a little aggressive walk, not a slow easy walk, maybe a little aggressive walk or boxing or something physical, something that adds and increases your heartbeat. That gives you a lot of self-confidence. And you'll see every big achiever has some or other sort of physical routine set it up. You would have heard a lot of big people go at least 3 times or 4 times to gym or boxing. Or this classes, that classes, or sports. Sports is another thing that adds to a lot of good hormones are produced when you do this physical, uh, no, physical activities, and that boost your self-confidence. Sounds good. Any, any, uh, anyone wants to share any example of that?

Yeah, definitely. I want to share an example. When, uh, when I go to gym and do some physical exercises, I feel light. I feel, yeah, I can now correlate those things with the self-confidence. You can focus more. If, if your efficiency is high, then your self-confidence will automatically improve.

Lovely, amazing. Yeah, I came here to tell you, I came on vacation and I didn't go for morning walk for a few days. I was feeling a little bit lethargic. But the day I went for a morning walk after a gap of about 3-4 days, I felt really better. I went for a half an hour walk in the morning and I could feel that, okay, I'm getting out of that. I'm not getting into that lazy and procrastinated mode. I was getting more energetic. So every time you are doing something big, before that, if you have time, Do something. It doesn't have to be crazy, but even if you can take a walk or a little bit of physical exercises, that really boosts your confidence, brings those positive hormones in your body, secretes the positive hormones, really takes you to the next level.

Okay, that's true. I want to say, share my experience, Haritosh Srivastav, on this. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Because of this pandemic and all that, I'm also working from my hometown since last 2 years now. It's like a hill station kind of, so I got the opportunity to have a walk in woods and all that. And I'm following up this routine daily almost. It's about 40 or 45 minutes walk to cover the 6 or 7 kilometers daily, right?

Lovely.

And this definitely add to your confidence and your, you know, concentration to work. You feel refreshed every day and you can start your next day very, you know, with the full power of full energy. So that's true, I think.

Yeah, great, great.

Thank you for sharing, actually. This is so true. And yeah, not everybody is as fortunate to live in a hill station like you, but you can also find a place to go and visit. Yeah, yeah, lovely, lovely. Okay, uh, anyone, anyone else wants to share? I know Dilly goes for a walk, morning walk, every day.

Yes, so actually I, I was supposed to share it. So anyway, uh, almost, uh, 3 to 4 years I'm doing a morning walk as well as some yoga and meditation. So I do both. First I do yoga and meditation, then for some 15 to 30 minutes morning walk. So whether it is hot, whether it's cold, or whether it is rainy season So I— because it gives me energy, gives energy, a lot of energy, and I feel, I mean, energetic to a full day. It's, uh, it works really great. Thank you for checking.

Yeah, lovely, lovely. And I love your consistency for doing it for past 3-4 years. That really calls for consistency, so great job on that. Okay, so let's move on to the second last unusual way to build self-confidence. Now, if you have followed from 1, 2, 3, this may not feel like this is unusual, uh, but let's see. This is called having a me time. What exactly is a me time? Anybody wants to elaborate what is a me time?

A time in which you are disconnected from all social media platforms and your family as well.

Okay, okay, good definition. Anybody else wants to add anything?

Yes, time for myself, enjoyment, entertainment, or sitting with friends, enjoying with friends. There is time for myself.

Okay, something like, uh, what you— whatever you would like to do, and you do that thing.

Right, maybe your passion, right? Yes, great.

It's the time where your soul meets with your mind.

Sorry, Namnit, can you repeat?

It's a time where your soul meets your mind, like, right, where your soul meets your mind, right?

Let's stick to English.

Great.

So all, all great and right answer. To me, I think it depends on having a time dedicated for yourself on every day, or if not every day, having a number of days in a week where you are able to do things that you love to do. And it could be anything. It could be journaling, it could be doing a self-talk, it could be doing some affirmation, recitation, meditation, even a walk. If even hitting gym, whatever you feel like doing. It could be even talking to a friend. But having a me time on most of the days builds your confidence. Not in a very drastic way to say, okay, you just have a me time one day and your confidence is skyrocket. But if you keep doing it, it's all about consistency. If you have a me time every day, uh, for example, my me time is my morning rituals where I wake up early. I read some books, I do some meditation or journaling, enjoying coffee. My me time is having black coffee with book or doing other journaling, other things. I love that. And on those days when I'm not able to do that for a few days, I can feel, and now even my family can feel that, okay, you have not been doing that, your me time thing, your ritual thing. So having your, identifying your me time, identifying your rituals, what works for you and then working on that every single day, that boosts your confidence as well. So having a me time and then following it, following it as many times as possible is another unusual way to build your self-confidence. Okay, so we are on to the last point, which is Yeah, let's not have too much of suspense and thriller. It's about being grateful. At times we feel bogged down. There's so much going on in the world, it's, it's so much of negativity around. There's so many things you want to accomplish. Sometimes we don't succeed, sometimes we get a setup setback, sometimes we feel like I'm not making any progress. But if we take some time Just relax and think about from where we have come so far. Just look at yourself maybe few months back, maybe few years back, maybe a few decades back. If you are old enough, you can feel so much grateful for what you have. I am in my hometown right now and I am so grateful for all the great things that has happened to me in last two decades. When you feel grateful for things that has happened to you, that gives you a lot of boost. You can do much more. It's about that positive self-talk that, no, if I can achieve so many things despite from this background, from this country, from this place, from this particular background, I can do much more. And that gives you confidence. So Always having a vision for future is important, but also looking back at your journey and being grateful for all the great things that has happened to you, all the great learnings that you have, all the great time that you have spent, that gives you more confidence that if I can survive that, if I can do that, if I can earn that, if I can build that, I can do much more than that in coming days, months, weeks. Decades, years, you never know. But this is another way to feel confident. So those are the 5 unusual ways to build self-confidence. Any, uh, insight, any question, any feedback from anyone? I've got a few bonus for you also that, that helps you. But let's hear from you, any, anything you want to share? Can you repeat this?

5, uh, 5 number or point?

Yeah, 5th one is being grateful, being thankful for what you have achieved so far, whatever you have earned, whatever you have learned, whatever you have milestone you have achieved, and then looking at your journey from where you started When you think about that, when you get into a state where you feel thankful, you feel grateful for what all you have got, what all you have received, that gives you a lot of confidence. That if I'm coming, for example, if I take my example, coming from a non-English speaking background, coming from a small town in India, and then going from there to, you know, working for one of the premier organization, IT organization in the world, one of the best places to live in the world and doing so many things, amazing things in life. I feel so immensely grateful, so immensely thankful for that. And whenever I feel that, I feel more confident that, no, I've done so much, I've received so much, and I can do more if I continue to feel like that. So that's the fifth unusual way— being thankful, being grateful for your journey so far, so that you get more confidence to do more things in future. Does that make sense?

Yes, yes, Haritosh Srivastav. I would like to add here something that's true. Like, if we compare our journey from the past and see at the present, like, where we are, obviously we made a progress. The trouble is when we start comparing ourselves with others, then the trouble started. Like, oh, we missed something. I think we could do better than this, what we are today here. And till the point we are not comparing with others, now we are good. But the point we start comparison with others, it really hurts sometimes.

Absolutely, you are absolutely right. I think Our biggest comparison should be with us in the past, like, you know, how, uh, how I was doing yesterday versus how I am doing today, or how I will do tomorrow. If we can bring that— it's not always easy, as you said, and we all get into that, uh, whether you are working in office, whether you are a social media influencer, whether you are a speaker, whether you are just a listener. We all compare. That's the default mechanism our brain works. But if we can keep ourselves centered around ourselves, which may seem like selfish, but it is actually the right thing that, no, keeping comparing ourselves to ourselves. No, my journey is unique and my path has been unique, and it cannot directly compare to the journey of Yash or Navneet or Dilip or, uh, no, Ashwani or Vanna or Krish. When we bring that into our perspective, no we feel like, yes, I have made progress. I have things to do. We all are work in progress. Some of us are actually— we just got started. And when we keep that perspective in mind, we, we still get a lot of confidence. So thank you for bringing that point, actually.

Very, very valid point.

Lovely. Now I'm going to give you 3 bonus, and these 3 bonus are again unusual, but this is more to do with the physicality, like how do you get more confidence. And these are more of action thing, and these are direct things that you can do. So very simple, smile whenever you're feeling little underconfident. Sometimes you have to force smile, but if you keep smiling for few minutes, your mind— you know, our mind is so amazing that we can actually control. This is a way for us to control If you smile and force your smile for some few minutes, your mind will start thinking that you are actually in a good state, and those hormones will actually bring you to that good state. So sometimes forcing yourself smile, uh, don't smile at places where you're not supposed to smile, uh, that can be dangerous. But if it is a normal place where you can smile, you can be cheerful, that helps in building confidence. Second bonus is speak slowly. No, A lot of times we feel that if we speak really, really fast, people will think that we are so confident, and people think this is such an amazing speaker, people think such a great personality. But actually, if you look at all the great leaders, all the great communicators, they actually speak slowly, and that shows their confidence. You will not find great leaders speaking so fast But you will many times find great leaders speaking slowly, pronouncing every single word with special emphasis on certain words. So when you start to speak slowly, it shows that you are confident and you internally feel that I am confident, I can talk about that, I can do this, I can do that. So that's another physical thing, physical aspect of building self-confidence, that you smile and speak slowly. There's no need to haste, there's no need to hurry. And stand, stand tall. Have you heard about the term called power posing? There's a great TED Talk where I think it was some lady called Amy who gave this TED Talk called, uh, Superwoman Pose, where she said that every time you feeling underconfident Uh, you do this, put your hands on the side of your back and then stand like a Superman or Superman, and that will increase your confidence. It will feel like I'm so confident. So, uh, and there have been research done to actually, which actually proves that when you stand tall, when you stand confidently, it boosts your confidence. You feel like you are in command, you are in charge. So at times, adding these small nuggets of physicality also increases your self-confidence, especially when you're going for a meeting or a speaking engagement or a conference. You bring this smile and speaking slowly and standing tall. When you bring these 3 S into picture, that helps boost your confidence. So any, uh, any insight or any experience you had on these? Smile, speaking slowly, and standing tall. If not, you will have to continue.

Yes, I want to share my experience, last experience. Last week I go for an interview with the one reputed organization, and CIO taking my interview. So I started my introductory part and I goes a little bit faster. And there are two guys who is taking my interview. So one guy saying, I think your internet connection is not well, I— because I am not getting you properly. But another guy who is CIO is like, no, no, no, there is no problem of internet, you are going so fast. Just little bit slower, then it's okay to us to understand you better. So this is the one thing we need to be, uh, in mind when we go. When we feel overconfident, we go fast. I think so.

I mean, both ways actually. When we feel overconfident and also when we feel underconfident, we feel like we need to say so many things, and, and that makes us feel like, okay, Yeah, let's go super, super fast and let's make sure that now we are telling everything. The fact of the matter is you have to go natural, or little less natural, and little less than your natural speed. Because what you want to do is you want to speak so that people understand. You don't want to speak so that people count the number of lines or number of words you have spoken. So if you want to take a screenshot of this, I've made the full screen feel free to do that. Uh, but these are some 5 unusual ways to build your self-confidence and 3 bonus, uh, smile, speaking slowly, and standing tall, which really will help you to boost your confidence, to build your self-confidence in usual and unusual way.

Okay.

All right, so we have— with that, we have come to the end of another mastermind session. I have a few announcements. So number one is, uh, yeah, uh, we are having this public speaking boot camp this weekend. So people who are going to be part of this, I know a few people are here who are going to be part of this, we're looking forward to have you on this Saturday and Sunday for some fun public speaking boot camp. That's a fun one. And then we are starting a new program next week, hopefully, about how to confidently communicate in English for working professionals especially. And also from next week, we are going to have us— next week, I don't want to reveal the name, but next week somebody from this group only is going to come here and present his 5 to 10 minutes talk about something which is still a secret. So it's not only going to be me speaking next time, it's going to be somebody from this group who's present today. I'll keep you guessing, but somebody is going to be here and presenting to you something which is of interest to you and to him as well. So that's all for today's mastermind session. Lovely Seeing you all, uh, have a great rest of the week, and I'm looking forward to catch you next week as well.

Thank you.