Haritosh Srivastav teaches three ways to listen better: ask open-ended questions instead of giving advice, use pauses to let people think, and keep focus on them rather than your own stories. The goal is creating space where someone feels safe to share.
As a speaker and storyteller, one of the aspects that we rarely talk about is holding space for others. You're not just a storyteller, also you need to take on the role of a story listener at times. And I'm going to share with you the 3 techniques that you can apply to become a better listener, a person who is holding space not only for himself or herself but also for others. So number 1 is you want to replace your advice with curiosity. So the moment something happens, people come up with advice— try this medicine, go this routine— but you want to change that with curiosity. How does that make you feel? Where do you think you need to work upon? When you ask that questions with curiosity, it is like holding a space for them to vent out. Number 2, Yes, I did the same. Master the pauses. You see, when it comes to those kind of conversation where half the conversation is in the mind and in the heart, one of the things that you want to master is the pauses where you are letting the speaker, you're letting the other person process their thoughts, structure their thoughts, and then articulate. And if you are an impatient listener, What you'll do in this process is you will interrupt their thought process and they're not going to really like it. So if you want to hold space for others, make sure that you are mastering the pauses, letting the person feel and then share it from their heart. And number 3, to help them reflect and don't redirect. A lot of us start to hijack the conversation. Oh, you're going through that problem? You know what? Last year I was also going the same problem. You know what, you got cheated. You know, last year I got cheated 3 times by different scamsters. You don't need to make it about yourself, you need to make it about them. So that is why you need to keep yourself distant and you need to ask them questions which are reflective in nature. You can ask, okay, that sounds very interesting, or that must have been very terrible, or how has that experience shaped your journey? When you ask this reflective question, the other person really appreciates because you are able to hold the space for others. So the 3 advices: number 1, don't give advice, ask with curiosity, ask questions. Number 2, hold the space using the power of pauses. Do not interrupt while somebody is still processing. And number 3 is don't redirect, help them reflect. So ask reflective question.
