Stop Waiting for Confidence – Do THIS Instead! Abu’s 21-Day Confidence Journey

I have realized over a period of time that if you want to keep others happy, starts from you. If you are not happy, if you don't feel fulfilled, you can never ever take care of others. So my dear friends, whoever is listening to you today, you have to be a go-getter. You are shy, you are introvert, you know, this is not the place. Please, nobody cares when you do such things out of your comfort zone. When you are accountable for 21 days, people think you are up for the job. You don't want to go with us. Smartest person, you don't want to go with the most knowledgeable person, you don't want to go with the most talented person. You want to go with somebody who has a great attitude. And if you are looking for a great attitude, it's when you push yourself, you become comfortable. So I recently hosted an event, it was a huge event in Mumbai, and this comes from the fitness mindset, which is like your first workout is always better than the workout that you never did. So something which is very important for me is I would love to spend a lot of time, but not every day I would have a lot of time. But I used to only tell myself that my worst video is always better than the video that I have never shared.

Hello everyone, welcome to yet another episode of Finisher Interview where I am personally interviewing the members of Confident Storytelling Hub who completed our 21-day video confidence challenge by posting 21 or more videos. And in that series, I have another amazing person who I know personally for more than 5 years now and He's really been an amazing fellow chap, if I may call, always providing exciting and interesting videos and insights. So let me welcome Mr. Abu Srivastav. Hi Abu, welcome and thank you for this interview.

Thank you so much, Haritosh Srivastav, for giving this opportunity. I so much wanted to do it as soon as possible, but the best part is we are able to do that. Thank you so much.

That's the way, that's the way to go. So tell the audience a little bit about who is Abu and what you do and where are you from, etc., etc.

Thank you so much. So hi everyone, everybody and everybody who's listening to it. My name is Abu Shaddaa. I was born and raised in Darjeeling and I remember in the year 2006, I went to Delhi and in Delhi I worked for a good 17, 18 years. And in 2023, I relocated to Hyderabad. So since 2023 onwards, I'm staying in Hyderabad. I once spoke to one of my friends and he had given me something very interesting. He had mentioned that he's a global citizen, you know. So at times it becomes a challenge for me when people say, where are you from? It becomes difficult to say where am I from. So I say I'm a global citizen now. That's how it is. Okay. For living, for living, what I do, I work in a corporate. If I tell you what I do, you will only get jealous because that's the coolest. It's seldom that people get an opportunity to do that. I am the happiness officer. I'm responsible for taking care of employees' happiness. It can be physical, it can be mental, it can be financial, it can be spiritual, anything and everything. My job is to ensure that employees, they come happy and go happy. And I have realized over a period of time that if you want to keep others happy, it starts from you. If you are not happy, if you don't feel fulfilled, you can never ever take care of others. So that's what I do for living. I really love, enjoy what I do.

Absolutely. And we can see from your passion at what you do. So tell us, how long have you been part of the Confident Storytelling Hub?

As Haritosh Srivastav has mentioned, we know each other since the time he was a full-time employee of TCS. It was— I still remember the time. It was, it was so nice that we crossed paths and I realized that there's Haritosh. We have never met in person, you know, but, but there's nothing as such that, you know, I'm really happy with the advancement of technology. It always feels that I know Haritosh Srivastav. As a matter of fact, and that is one of the questions that I'm going to answer towards the end as to what happened today in one of my calls wherein I recommended Haritosh Srivastav. I've been very fortunate to be a part of Confident Storytelling Hub right from the start when the name was even different. So it has now been changed to, it was Small Town Bigger Dreams then, and then the name got changed to Confident Storytelling Hub. So I feel absolutely blessed to be one of the pioneers of Small Town Bigger Dreams.

Absolutely. And yes, you're very sure. And, and Abu, for all of you who do not know, is also an author. And when I was writing a book, Abu was writing his book, and we were more of an accountability partner along with another person, Taiba. So it was some amazing time. And yes, when we started, we used to call it Small Town Bigger Dreams Academy, but as As we evolved, as the time changed, I thought it's better to give more relevant name which is contextual for all the members. So let's come to the video confidence challenge. You are one of those members who was always in the morning when I open the phone, I know that Abu's video is going to be there every morning by 9 AM and one of the most consistent. And yeah, I think you, you came into top 3 or 5 also many times. So what was your experience like in being part of this video confidence challenge?

Thank you so much, Haritosh Srivastav. Now again, I'll go ahead and take the reference from a call that I just completed. So this is my another Toastmaster, his name is Amit Kumar, and he just called me and he messaged me that, Abu, whenever you are available, can we speak? So Amit, he is very passionate, very dedicated. He plays badminton every day, and he says that, you know, while everything is happening, I'm not able to do anything new. I'm not able to read, I'm not able to make videos, I'm not able to do connection, networking that I used to do that, and I, I feel it's missing. So for me, it was also very important because I had made it a point that if I have to make a video, I have to read. So every time I have to do something, I have to read. And I'm sure we both and everybody will agree that how important the power of reading is.

Yes.

So, so every time it was there that, okay, I have to read. And apart from that, as they always say, books teaches you a lot, but life will always teach you more. So after reading, I also used to make it a point that, okay, is there any experience that I had that I want to share along with this? Every day Haritosh Srivastav used to come up with something very creative, you know, and that used to be, uh, what used to be like a flat board post, or that should— that would be like a direction to our thoughts. And it was, it was my workaround that, okay, so first what I'll do is I'll make a note of my experience, my recent experience, and what I'm reading. Then I marry both of them with the direction that has been given. So it helps you. When people look at it, they would only feel that it's video, but it's not only video, it's about you becoming better at a lot of other things. So for me, it was not only a video challenge. For me, it was a reading challenge, introspection challenge, and definitely a video challenge.

It's not only about just creating the video. I mean, video anyways is so essential in the world that we are living, but it is also about reflecting on your journey, reflecting on various aspects of your life. So very well said. So, you know, we all know that not everything is rosy all the time. Not everything is piece of cake when you go through it. And especially when you go through the journey of 21 days, I'm pretty sure you would have faced certain challenges or issues and anything like that. So tell us about one or two such challenges and how did you overcome those?

That's absolutely correct, Haritosh Srivastav. We all want life to go this way, but life will, like, you know, do Hrithik Roshan dance. You know, so you want it to be this, but it will give you that Hrithik Roshan dance. That is definitely there. But what I have realized over a period of time, and this comes from the fitness mindset, which is like your worst workout is always better than the workout that you never did. So something which is very important for me is I would love to spend a lot of time, but not every day where I would have a lot of time. But I used to only tell myself that my worst video is always better than the video that I have never shared. So irrespective whether I would like to give 100%, but at times it is a tick mark activity as well. But that tick mark is also very important. So there is always— these days there are so many things happening around, so that was definitely there. The second challenge would always be that, you know, within the community, and I'm talking about from a space of learning from each other, you know, that is something which is very important. When you look at people doing amazing things, you would also like to go ahead. And every time I used to think, okay, I have done this thing, my only objective is how do I ensure that I don't repeat myself. So every day trying to think that, okay, what can I do from an idea point, what's my— what can I do from a technology standpoint that I don't repeat. And last but not the least, that people don't have time, okay. So if somebody is watching my video, how do I ensure that I am able to give them something back for their 1 minute, 2 minutes, or 3 minutes. It's very important for all of us to respect our time as well as somebody else's time. So these were the challenges that I was facing, and I'm very happy that I— we were getting this lot of collaboration as well, lot of help as well. So these were the top 3 challenges that I can possibly think of.

Very well said, and I think I love your spirit of bringing innovation in everything that you do. Even if you're making the same video, how can you improve it further? How can you bring a new angle to it altogether? Or how can you just do something which makes it even more attractive? So we really love that. Now tell us about what was your aha or breakthrough moment of this journey. Typically people have one point where they're like, wow, this is something worthwhile, or this was something that I didn't thought it would lead to this. So what was one such moment for you?

For me, it will always be listening and understanding somebody else's perspective. You know, we have some amazing talented people, and now they say that it's only when you are able to understand other people's thought and perspective, it becomes amazing. So Haritosh Srivastav was giving us direction And that direction can take you anywhere. Now, anywhere means anywhere. So it was very important for me that, okay, wow, this is also a way a person can think. Wow, this is incredible, this is nice. So that, that was definitely an aha moment for me, completing that 21 days. Now, whatever happens, I have to complete that 21 days. That was an aha moment. Now, we all are spreadsheets, you know, Excel people, everybody knows that. During weekdays it is Excel and during weekend it is Surf Excel. So when we, when we talk about Excel, the display is there and we all want to be there, you know, part of that. I mean, to ensure that, you know, the task is being completed. That was also an aha moment. So in this 21 days, my biggest aha was to complete. The second will be to have a dashboard and third aha was learn from everybody else. And last but not the least, which I'm waiting is that t-shirt. That will be a hurray moment. Once we get that t-shirt, it will be a hurray moment.

Hurray, yes, the hurray moment. Awesome. So we, we've talked about the journey, we've talked about your aha moment. The only question that is left is the impact, because we all invest time and energy and effort in doing something for example, this challenge, but we also want to know the result. What happened afterwards? What has changed? So what has been the impact of you completing this challenge?

Thank you so much, Haritosh Srivastav. Now this is something that I really want to emphasize. I will segregate this into multiple pointers. So first and foremost is when you make video, you know, psychologically, we don't like to watch our own video. We don't want to listen to our own voice. I'm not sure if that happens with you, Haritosh Srivastav.

Absolutely, 100%, all the time.

I'm looking at Haritosh Srivastav, she's looking so bright, but for some reason, you know, the light is not good at my end. So it's always that particular point that you feel that, you know, oh my God, this is such a professional video, and most probably I could have worked something upon my— but having said that, I have realized what is important is showing up and being yourself. The message is always the most important thing. As they say, don't miss forest for a tree. That is important. The second thing is, over a period of time, when you do such activities, when you push yourself, you become comfortable. So I recently hosted an event. It was a huge event in Mumbai. Now, when I'm doing all of these things, I am now so comfortable making fun of myself. I can just go on stage and be myself. When you do such things, you become so comfortable with people, with making mistakes, accepting yourself. And last but not the least, one of the most amazing thing is you can be innovative. You know, you can be innovative, and, and the impact is— now I'll talk about that particular point. But then Amit, he called me, he said that I'm looking for a mentor, can you help me? And immediately I said that Haritosh Srivastav would be a better mentor. So I would request you to please connect with Haritosh Srivastav. More than me, I know this person, and this person has been committed. I know him for 5 years, 6 years, and he has done this incredible job right now with that 21 done this challenge. He's back. There was something that happened in his family. Now he's back and he has started it. So you have to approach him. So one of the best things that happen is there is a lot of noise. Yes. But there are— we are like, you know, when we talk about the world, it has like reached 7.58 billion people. And this 8 billion people, when you do certain things, it benefits you because then you start standing out of the to do. So for me it was Haritosh. I said, you have to buy. He said, somebody else? No, you know, obviously you can, but try Haritosh first. So it works to such an extent that when Haritosh has shown that particular thing, people start trusting you. People start— and this happens, I did it with Haritosh. If I am regular, people will do with me. People will do with you. What they want to see is consistency. When I, I used to also share it in my WhatsApp, I used to also share it on my LinkedIn, and that was also one of the tasks. Now when people observe you, gone are those days when people read your resume and all. People want to see what you are actually doing. It makes so much of difference to what you are doing when you approach work. Now my work has to do with a lot of creativity. You are in a very creative zone, and when you do something with a lot of creativity, with a lot of technology, you'll be amazed with the output. So it has completely transformed. I want to ensure that, you know, for the 2 days that I've missed, I'll go ahead and make back-to-back videos and come back. Because towards the end, what happens is people start understanding that you are consistent, you are man or woman of your words.

Wow, I love, I love every bit, and I want to talk so much about all of this, but I like to keep myself short. I love the first thing that you said, and I noticed your sentence and all, which is when you're becoming comfortable in being uncomfortable. That is what the aim is. Aim is not to make the perfect video. There's nothing called perfect video. I feel that I should have something else and I should have better hair now. So of course we all think about getting better, but what is more important is the other thing that you talk about, is the confidence. And the confidence comes for most of us by doing things repeatedly, by trying to constantly innovate. And that is what our goal has been. We don't really care what is the quality of video, what is the duration of the video. Of course we want you to improve, but more than— I think in the world, and especially in this part of the world, I think we Indians have a lot of things that we can offer to the world. The only thing that we are lacking is the confidence, that realizing that we are worth it, we can do it, we can do with quality, we can do on time, we can do amazing thing. And that is what is my small attempt in helping a lot of people, that no, if you can have confidence, I think there is, there's no stopping us from going anywhere. After that, whatever happens will be like magical. So thank you so much, Abu, and With that comes the second last question, is that you have been on this journey, I've seen your journey, but there are a lot of people who are still on the verge, like, no, whether I should really learn about public speaking, confidence, storytelling. What is your message for anyone who are like, should I learn, should I not learn? What, what do you want to tell them?

Thank you so much, Haritosh. No, Haritosh, uh, I'll talk about one of my team members in Mumbai, okay? He's very hardworking, he's very hardworking, uh, but the only thing is he's not confident. So in today's time, again, I'm going ahead and giving you a reference of India, and I'm not sure if it is all across the globe. In India, if a task is given to you, you have to be street smart in getting the job done. You cannot get back to your manager stating that, oh, you know, this problem happened, oh, you know, this problem happened, or, you know, this problem happened. Now, there was a very simple task. He had to do a discussion, a meeting with a particular group. The group was ready, but he was not able to find a venue, a meeting room. So I spoke to the head of the program, and I told her that, you know, my team member wanted to have a meeting, but the venue was not available. And she's saying that, Abu, is he crazy? Why didn't he approach me? I can get every— that's my shop, that's my floor. And then I was wondering why exactly, because the only challenge was he was not confident enough. He thought that, you know, at times you need confidence to ask people. You are so hardworking. See, it is not easy to get a group of people working. He was able to do that, but he was not confident in talking to the person that I don't have a room, can you please arrange? When you do these kind of things, when you start uploading your videos in front of strangers whom you possibly think right now, uh, you get a boost to talk to anyone and everyone. If you want to survive today, you have to know the art of speaking to anyone and everyone. You can't be, uh, you know, this is not my personality type, oh, I, I haven't done that, uh, this is not my vibe. Go home then. Please, that's the answer you will get to be. I'm just talking from how we operate here. So when you participate in these kind of things, now the most important thing is you are not getting paid for it, but if you do it properly, you will be surprised how much people are willing to pay for it. Okay, so that's another very important thing. I, I also have this particular instance wherein I, I remember when you spoke about that, perfect. I remember this friend of mine, he wanted to make a video, okay? So he called me, he called a lot of other people as well, and it was very different call. Very nice. Said that, Abu, can you tell me, while you were making your first YouTube video, what were some of the challenges that you faced? And I shared my top 3 challenges, and he said that I'm asking everybody for their challenges, and what I will do is I'll make one video and that video will be flawless because I have taken all of your negatives, all of your flaws, and then my video will be the perfect video. And I told him at that point in time, that video will never be out, my friend. I don't want to discourage you. So in order to be confident as well, you have to do things in which you don't feel confident at all. So my dear friends, whoever is listening to you today, you have to be a go-getter. You are shy, you are introvert, you know, this is not the place Please, nobody cares. When you do such things out of your comfort zone, when you are accountable for 21 days, people think you are up for the job.

Thank you so much, Abu. That was beautiful. And that reminds me of a great study done where what they did was, in a university, they had this photography class. And what they did was they segregated class into two groups. One group was asked to take a number of pictures, take as many pictures as you want. And the other group was asked to take only one picture, but the picture has to be perfect. And they were given about a week to do that. Now, the first group actually enjoyed the process. They, they took hundreds and thousands of pictures and they were really enjoying. The second group got into what we call analysis paralysis. They kept thinking, maybe I can get a better one, maybe I can get one. At the end of the submission, the first group had so many amazing pictures because they have done so many. But the other group, they hardly had any picture, and even those pictures were not of as good quality as the first group. The point here is, if you don't try— it's always said that done is better than perfect, right? So if you want to become better, at least try to do something. Try to be part of a challenge, try to be part of a community. Now this leads us to the last and the final question, and I call it as a cheeky question. So some people may call it as self-promotion as well. So feel free to give your honest opinion as well. You've been part of Confidence Storytelling Hub for a few years now. Would you recommend it to someone?

So Haritosh Srivastav, that's the thing, you know, in today's time, and this person Amit Sharma, Amit Kumar, I'm sorry, I straight away spoke about Haritosh Srivastav. Now the challenge that we face today is we have a lot of people, we have a lot of population, but do we have the right skill set? Right, that is the most important thing. Now, I'm not sure how many of you know Haritosh Srivastav. This was not the first time he started with 21 days. There were so many other 21 days he had started, but that did not go the way it was supposed to go. So if today's time, if you are looking forward to get somebody who you can trust, who can be by your side, and who can root for you, then you should go for Haritosh.

Thank you so much.

That is the most important thing in today's time. You don't want to go with the smartest person, you don't want to go with the most knowledgeable person, you don't want to go with the most talented person. You want to go with somebody who has a great attitude. And if you are looking for a great attitude, it's Haritosh Srivastav for you.

Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate, and that was so much fun. So it didn't feel like an interview, it feels like having a conversation with you. And yeah, I hope to, yeah, break that thing that we haven't met in person. It doesn't feel like, but yes, I do want to meet up, meet you in person very soon. Hopefully you come to Delhi or I come to Hyderabad. Thank you so much, Abu. Uh, this was so much fun. So for anyone, if you are at the verge of what is that one skill that I want to learn about I personally highly recommend that you learn about confidence and storytelling because this one skill can really take you to the places you can't even imagine. And this is probably the wrap of our, this series, this version of 21 Days Video Confidence Challenge Finisher Interview, where I have interviewed at least 9 people. This is probably the 9th video who have completed this challenge. They are all leaders. And I'm so excited because we have just started the next challenge, and the next challenge is called Freedom to Speak. So if you're somebody who's interested to join, please send a message to our team and we'll get back to you. But as I say every time, until next time, keep learning, keep growing, and keep going out of your comfort zone. Thank you so much. I'll see you in another Finisher video series.