Story Spark Day 32 - The Eye Contact Freeze Gaze

Awesome! So welcome everyone to Day 32 of StorySpark session. And as you know, this week is all about how can you use different mechanism to wow your audience. So yesterday we practiced about body language, and today what we are going to do is we are going to have another important aspect which is very important whether you are talking in general, I mean talking in person or talking virtually. So since we are on virtual environment, we are going to practice eye contact virtually. So let's begin the fun. And so this game is called the Eye Contact Freeze Game. And what do I mean by that? It is interesting and you might have fun. So what do we do in this? Very simple. First of all, why eye contact is important? Anyone wants to add? Yes, this is a quote by one of the world champions who says that, no, when you are thinking about making virtual eye contact, think about your friend who are behind the lens. So what do you infer, Venkat? Why is eye contact so important?

It motivates the audience to involve in the conversation.

Very nice, it does involve. What about you, Harsha? What do you think is the importance of eye contact?

It gives the other person that we are giving preference to him.

Awesome, very well said. That now you want— everybody wants attention, everybody wants importance. So when you make eye contact People feel trusted, people feel respected, and they feel like, yes, it is worth spending time with you. And it becomes all the more difficult when you are on virtual environment because we tend to look at our own. While the camera is up there, we tend to look at our own self, and this is where it seems like we are not making eye connection. So Harsha, I want you to be here, focus on this activity. So this game is called the Eye Contact Gaze Game, which means that we are going to practice two things. Number one is whenever anybody is called out, he will first only stare at the camera for 10 to 15 seconds, just like I'm looking at the camera, nothing else. So you will have to look at the camera. Doesn't matter whether you're joining from phone or you're joining from laptop. Try to look at the camera point and try to focus on that for 15 seconds. And then once the 10-15 seconds is over, I will say story, and then you can tell a short story. Now this is where everyone will be involved because we are going to make some distraction, or I might randomly spotlight somebody else, or I might put, I might put a sound or something. And this is all about you not getting distracted while telling your story and focusing on eye contact. All right, so first what we are going to do is, first I want you to think about the story. So, um, it could be any story. It could be your own story, it could be someone else's story, it could be a story you have already told once, or it could be an altogether new story. So think about a story and then we'll call out the names. So let's take a couple of minutes. So just Think about the story. So everyone ready with the story? Okay, Venkat, or you're thinking about— still thinking about the story? Okay, let's give one more minute. And I see Dr. Alka has also joined. So while you are thinking about a story, Dr. Alka, today we are having a fun exercise about eye contact, and I'm going to give you a quick summary and then we'll go right into that. And so importance of eye contact, we all know. So the fun exercise is that, you know, whoever's name is called, he will first just stare at the camera. It's called the 15-second gaze. So that person will gaze at the camera, not looking at anything else but the camera for 10 to 15 seconds. And then after that, he or she will tell a quick story, not a long story, but any story, personal story, anybody else's story, a story already told or a story yet to be told. And while that person is doing, everybody else including myself will try to distract that person. So we'll make some sound, we'll will— I'll put some smiley or something on the chat, and the challenge is to make sure that whatever the distractions are, you are focusing on the camera, you are not losing your eye contact. All right, so let's get started. We'll start with whoever joined first. So Harsha, are you ready?

Yes, sir. Yes, Haritosh.

All right, okay, so let's start with Harsha. I'm going to Start. I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna spotlight you for everyone, and your 15 seconds starts. All right, good job. So let's start with the story.

Hey, and, uh, Raju is sitting in front in his chair, in, in alone in his room. He has a knife. He want to commit suicide. So he started a suicide note. In that he mentioned his mother such that, sorry mother, I lost all my money in betting and this one gaming games. So I am very sorry. 'So I had no option. I am in bankruptcy. I want to commit suicide.' Okay, uh, he like that, he catches the knife and tries to— then his mobile rings. He answers the mobile, called by her mother. Suddenly he changed himself. Generally, he got memories of mother. Okay, he talked, how you have eaten your lunch, these things, conversation, regular conversation. After he realizes, if I commit suicide, who will take care of his mother? Who will give medicines to her mother? Suicide is not option. Committing suicide is not an option. We will fight and I will win one day. When we should not give up. So the moral of the story is we should not leave in between anything. We have to fight for it. We have to accept the failure and we should move forward. When we should look after our relationships— mother, father, daughters, everyone, sons— we should think about this before committing suicide. Thank you.

Awesome! Everybody write Story Power To You, SPTY. Let's immediately debrief before we move to another participant. So how did he do? Let's ask Venkat. How, how was it for Harsha? Harsha's eye contact?

Yes, he concentrated on camera first 15 seconds and he, he didn't distract.

Distracted. Okay, all right, okay. How about you, Dr. Alka? What did you—

story was very powerful, but he didn't look at the camera. He did not. He was looking everywhere else. That's what we do, I think. We get so concentrated in the story. The story was very powerful, very, very nice. I love the story.

I agree. So he was very, very good, uh, as per my analysis, was very, very good when it came to the gaze. And we tried to make some distraction and sound and I switched the spotlight as well, and during the whole time he was concentrating. So when he was focusing on eye contact, he was doing that. But the moment it came to telling story, what I realized that he was trying, but I think most of the times he forgot, or he was so engrossed that he was always looking at— looking down, something at this side. So every time there was a new sentence, he was looking down. And you, you might not have thought in this way, but now after this you will think about that Am I making the right eye contact or am I getting distracted? So I think I'm glad that we are doing this exercise. Okay, now let's move to the second person who joined, who is Venkat. So I'm gonna spotlight you, Venkat, and you have your 15 seconds of gaze and let others distract you. What is that? All right, okay, good job, Venkat. Let's go ahead with your story.

Every day I plan to go to gym at 6 o'clock, but I planned before night. I wake up normally at 7 o'clock or 8 o'clock, then I changed my mood from going to gym to again sleep, again procrastinate and sleep after hours. So then I wake up at 8 o'clock, then I come to office. This morning I, I wake up at 6:30, then immediately, uh, I, I ready to go to gym. So I didn't get a stomach clean and that is not coming. So that's the reason I immediately go to gym because every day I am planning procrastinating, but today I achieved. So I, I was content, content at that. And at the time of reaching gym, I spent music. I spent— I listen music and workout. Then in mid— in mid, I couldn't concentrate my workout. Because my stomach, uh, forcing something inside there. So I felt that, oh, I— why my today I couldn't work out today? I felt low. However, I woke up and get to gym, so that content me. However, at the middle I stopped and went to washroom and clean my stomach. Then I felt that I had two chances of feeling contented because one is I woke up at 6:30 and go to gym, and another thing is even though I couldn't work out well, my stomach was clean at the morning. So nowadays I couldn't wake up early and clean my stomach on that early morning. So this too happened this morning, so this feels contented to me. So this is my story.

Awesome! So everybody write story, power to you, SPTY. And let's hear it from others, how did Venkat's eye contact go. So let's start with Dr. Alka, what did you feel?

Yeah, he was good, he was looking at the camera.

Okay, Harsha, about you, what did you observe?

Focus he had, no distraction in him.

Okay, okay, okay. So I am going to wear the, what do you call, devil's advocate. Uh, I, I love that, no, during the whole case, even though we try to distract you, you were able to concentrate and look at the camera. And I would say about 80% of the time while telling the story also, you were able to look at the camera, which is awesome. I felt that every time you were not sure of which word to say. So whenever you got confused between, okay, what is the next sentence or next phrase, that's where there was a slight distraction. But then you remembered, okay, I have to look at the camera. So it was very, very slight, which is in general people are going to ignore that. But since I'm here with the type of analysis that I was looking at, okay, every time you had, you got confused, okay, what to say next, you used a few ahs and ums. And you looked at on this side or this side or other side, but you were smart enough to come back. So in general, nobody would have noticed. Excellent job. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Awesome.

So let's take it to Dr. Alka. Let me spotlight you and let's make her life little difficult for 15 seconds. So time to start your case. And yep, let's see. Awesome, awesome, great job. Uh, time for you to share your story.

So I have this gentleman who comes to meet me very often. He wears a white shirt, a white pant, and white shoes. He looks almost like a corporator or somebody in big business, like a construction business, and he's accompanied by an assistant who helps him. He has Parkinson's disease. This person is always walking slowly, slowly, and he's trembling like this. And he has an assistant who is very sweet, very nice, very helpful person. And every time these people come to my clinic, they show me— he, the younger boy, will help this uncle to take out the reports and to show me the reports, whatever I ask for them. So I asked for the MRI report, and uncle told him that 'Where is my MRI report?' So he said, 'It's here, it's here in the bag. I'll just take it out.' So he opened his bag and he was searching for that MRI report and he could not find it. And he said that, 'Uncle, you give me 5 minutes. I will go running home and I'll bring it.' So uncle said that, 'You useless fellow! You don't know anything to do properly.' And I felt very bad. I looked at that little boy's face and it had become very small. And I felt very bad. And it was a reflection for me, it was a reflection time for me that objectively we have to see ourselves, how we behave with the people who are younger to us, who are junior to us, who are below us. It's very easy to talk very respectfully for the people with whom you have some work, with you have some agenda, and with you are little higher than you. But when it comes to speaking to people who are lower than you, I took a promise to myself that I am going to be very, very reflective and very, very conscious about how I'm going to be speaking to the people who are younger than me, who are working for me, my staff, my cook. So many times I also speak in loud way, in a loud voice. So this is what I learned from this, this, this, this story. Thank you so much.

Awesome, great job! And everybody writes, story power to you, Dr. Alka. And let's hear from others, how did your eye contact go? So let's start with Benkat.

Yes, the 15 minutes, uh, see, her eye contact is okay, but whenever we distract, he smiles. So yeah, it, it is not eye contact distraction, but mind distraction, maybe. Correct, correct.

Understood. Yeah, thank you. What about you, Harsha? What did you observe?

Yes, uh, good eye contact. Her story was, uh, very good. Very— it has a moral in it, story. While telling the story also, she maintained the eye contact. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Harsha. So yes, I think you did— you also didn't break the gaze. And yes, Venkat pointed out that every time there was a distractance you were acknowledging it with a smile, but you didn't take it to break the gaze. So that was amazing. And during the story also, I would say around 90 to 95% time you were looking at the camera. There were only twice I could see that for a split second you looked at on the right, your left, whatever it is, right is. And once you were thinking about the word. So it is very, very natural. Right, and this is— this may be extreme, so we are not expecting everyone to become perfect. I'm not perfect, I'm not expecting, but what I'm trying to bring is more consciousness that, okay, it is important to look at the camera. So great job to all three of you. Now let's have a quick reflection before we wind up the session. So let's start with Haritosh Srivastav. Haritosh, what did you learn from today's eye contact exercise?

Eye contact is very important. If you don't maintain the eye contact, the other person stop listening to us. He won't listen. He pretends to listen. Okay, he is not maintaining eye contact, so let us close the conversation. So eye contact is very important in communication.

Thank you.

Very true. Thank you. Venkat, how about you?

Yes, this session is particularly practice for eye contact. So this is helpful and we should do this kind of practice. This is how we perform during our— during the distractions. And particularly Alka Ma'am's stories, narrating very good way, and I am impressed how my stories and how Alka's stories is. So it's good. I will practice and I will do the same.

Awesome, great job. And the cardinal rule is don't compare your story with anyone. You are on your own journey, and I can see that you have really made vast improvements. So kudos to you as well. Awesome. Dr. Alka, what were your learning from today's StoryPath session?

When we are doing virtual, uh, when we are doing virtual presentations, the presenter is very uncomfortable looking at the camera. Yes, but in face-to-face presentation, it's very easy to look into the eyes of the person. And especially in my clinic, I find that when the— when we were wearing the mask, it was— people were saying that we can't see the expressions of the person, but actually we are seeing more of the expressions in the eyes. The eyes are the mirrors of the soul, and I could see the people when they were tensed up. We were looking only at the eyes, and that was a great exercise. Looking into the eyes of a person is the best way to connect to see through the eyes, it connects deeply into the person. This is what I think.

Absolutely. Your eyes are the reflection to your soul as well. So very well said. So thank you so much, everyone. I hope you enjoyed today's StorySpark session. So as I say every time, keep learning, keep growing, and keep going out of your comfort zone. We'll see you tomorrow for day 33 of StorySpark session. Take care. See you tomorrow.

Thank you. Thank you.