Story Spark Day 43 - Story Replay with Feedback
In this 43rd StorySpark session, facilitator Haritosh Srivastav leads a hands‑on workshop on “Story Replay with Feedback,” the Week 8 focus on feedback and improvement. Participants are asked to write a 1‑2 minute story, present it, receive targeted feedback, then rewrite and replay the story within the same session. The session emphasizes the first two of the five storytelling pillars – Context and Conflict – while allowing limited attention to Hook, Change, and Carry‑out. Dr. Alka and Haritosh provide concrete feedback on clarity of context, presence of a hook, vocal variation, eye‑contact, and narrative pacing. Venkat’s story about work‑from‑home challenges is iteratively refined, illustrating how to tighten context, add a compelling hook, and use vocal dynamics to convey urgency. Dr. Alka shares a personal anecdote about a cement‑strike crisis, demonstrating storytelling techniques in practice. The workshop concludes with reflections: the importance of rewriting, practicing vocal delivery, and staying out of one’s comfort zone. The session models a feedback‑loop that turns a rough story into a more engaging, structured narrative.
Chapters
Awesome, welcome everyone to day 43 of StorySpark session. And today again we are in week 8, which is about feedback and improve. So today's activity is called Story Replay with Feedback, and I'm going to quickly share what does, what does this activity mean and what are we going to do. So, so far what we have done is that we have talked about many frameworks where once you give story, you get feedback. But today we are going to take it to the next level where participants will have 2 minutes to write the story, then they will share the story, then we'll give the feedback, and then we'll also give them another chance to practice the story in the same session. So story, feedback, and then revisit the story with the updated feedback. Which means that we might have to keep the story short of 1 to 2 minutes so that we have enough time to give feedback and improve. So even if your story is not 100% complete, it's fine. We'll focus more on the first 2 C, which is the context and the conflict parts. I'll let Dr. Alka also join. Okay, so Dr. Alka, I hope you can hear me. Can you hear me? Okay, so, so today's story is called Story replay with feedback, which means that today, up until now, we have done the session where once you tell the story, you get the feedback and you go away. Now today we are going to do is we are going to have story, we are going to have quick feedback, and then we'll have another couple of minutes for you to revise your story and replay the story, right? So that means Only one caveat is that we need to keep the story short. So even if we don't complete all the points, like all the 5 Cs, we'll at least try to focus on the first 2 Cs, which is the context and the conflict part of it. Cure, change, and carry out may not be done, and that's completely fine. So let's get into story writing for 2 minutes, and then we'll start with the first round of sharing. Alright, last 30 seconds.
Alright.
So Venkat, are you ready with your story?
Yes, yes, Haritosh Srivastav.
Awesome, go for it.
Yes, we, Sevaramam Pandi, Ramanathan, and me joined work from home job in year 2019. Company do not provide more responsibility for particularly work from home employees. The company is located in Japan and we worked from India location. Moreover, there is no connection, direct connection to company. We also accept and enjoyed work from home job because there is, there is a time difference between Japan, India, and compensation also 50% higher than, higher than a previous company. There are few reasons we enjoyed and we didn't ask for responsibility. Year gone, one year over, end of year over, then I asked for joining to direct Japan office. But others still want to continue for work from home. And after 2 years, they quit company, quit other employees, work from employees, because of not having enough job in current, current situation. So they, they sent other two employees. They asked, uh, and again requested a lot to join, uh, to Japan and our continued form, but they didn't allow. The reason is we didn't take responsibility, and they consider, and we also consider, we are not a great resource to the company. So from this story, I would like to say is whether company provide or not, we have— we as an employee have to ask more responsible work. Then only it's both side considered as a resource, a great resource to the company. Even though company do not have enough job, they keep the resource still to future project. So from this, I conclude that get more responsible from the company, from the job. Thank you.
Awesome, that's right. SPTY, Story Power To You, Venkat. And let's straight away go to the feedback round 1. So yes, Dr. Alka, what's your feedback? You're on mute.
We have to speak only about the context and the challenge, right? We didn't have to speak about the other part.
We can. So since he covered in a short time, you can. That's not a problem.
So, um, there's a lot of repetition, and we could have given one sentence as a fee, as a, as a thing that, um, to add value to the company instead of saying Of course, maybe he wants to say that we should be responsible for what we are doing also. So that's what I understood, right?
Thank you. Yeah, correct. Uh, so you work from home or you work from office, Venkat?
I work from home at the time, right?
And why were only you selected and not the other two? But other two—
no, no, I, I requested and I joined here. But they still wanted to continue.
Okay, okay, so they didn't choose to come to Japan, right? Okay, so you know my question because it wasn't very clear that—
okay, context was not clear.
Yeah, right, right. Okay, so that is one thing you can make it clear that, no, B3 started and then you understood the environment, you understood that you need to be more responsible, and you choose to come to Japan. While the other two did, and they have been made redundant, if I'm not wrong, right?
Yes, yes.
Awesome. I think this is, uh, good. I think, uh, we can work a little bit on the hook part of it to attract, right? Oh, uh, how do— like, you can say, for example, that, no, how do you make yourself— how do you keep yourself relevant in the company? Right, and in the end then you can answer it by continuously or constantly adding value to the organization, right? And so that way it is hooked. There was context but there was no hook for us to know, okay, what is happening. Okay, you got the feedback? Not too many feedback I want to give because I want to see the version 2 as well. All right, let's go to Dr. Alka now.
I want to take you back to a time in my life when I was building my new premises of my clinic. And one day I get a phone call and my contractor is like shouting on the phone. His voice is like so shrill, it's hurting me so much. Ma'am, we are leaving your site. We cannot continue the work. And I'm thinking, what? What happened? And then he said, 'There is not a drop of cement in the market. There's a cement strike, there's a cement factory strike, and so we cannot continue your work.' And he hangs up. And I'm thinking like, 'What am I going to do?' Because every single day of work loss is a big loss to me, to the— it is a huge loss of money. And I'm thinking, 'What am I going to do?' Actually, I'm So devastated because I don't have any way out. If there is no cement, what am I going to do? But then I take the courage and I ring up the cement factory and there is this girl there who is shouting on the top of her voice, Madam, tell me what, how much cement you want. If you're a company, I'm going to give you cement. So when she says that, I said, okay, I don't have a company. Now what am I going to tell her? So I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a company. What's the name of your company? And there and then I had to cook up a name, and it was the universe which came to my help and to my rescue and gave me the name. I got the word Hope, and then I got the word Care, and I got my name of my company. So my visualization and what value I'm going to give to my clients and to my people in my life and my patients gave me my name of my company. That's what I want to say. I will stop here.
Awesome, nice. Everybody write SPTY, story power to you, Dr. Alka. Let's quickly go to Venkat for quick feedback.
Uh, story is good and, uh, engagement also good. Only thing is I feel, um, eye contact sometimes CC side and left side, right side. That is it.
Okay, okay, thank you, Venkat. Uh, I didn't actually notice about the eye contact because I've seen the story. I was thinking, how can we improve? So I want you to actually not use that phrase, I want to take you to that, because that is— you kind of know, I know what you're trying to do, you are making us imagine. But instead of that, no, you just say, which year was that?
It was 20 years back.
20 years back, so that is 2004.
No, 2006 it was.
2006, right? See the confusion when you say 20 years back, right?
So approximately 20 years.
Approximately, doesn't matter. Audience doesn't need to know exact time and space, right? So instead of saying, I want to take you back to the year, say, 2006, I'm building my, I'm building my hospital, this is so much important. Right, so that is one thing you can set a context first to feedback. And second is, uh, when you are having the dialogue with the person, Mason or whoever is doing that, no, try to do bring vocal variation. You did very good with the company, the cement representative, right? So similarly, add a character. I mean, it is difficult, I know it does require, but See if you can, because what you need to show there is there's a little bit of agitation, like, ma'am, we need cement. I mean, we don't have any cement, we can't do anything. Please, please arrange something, otherwise we are going, right? Something, even the rate of speech and the pace and pitch can change so that we know, okay, there's a little bit of agitation and they are feeling helpless. And then you say that, okay, every day loss is a big loss and things. And the last one, don't want to give too much, but last one, even in the name of the company, you can add a little bit more, uh, what you can, urgency by saying, ma'am, please do it faster, faster, ma'am, come on, Delhi, Delhi, right? So that's the only thing, but a great story. So let's quickly take another 2 minutes and rewrite your stories, and we'll, we'll do resharing. Alright, so 2 more minutes. All right, okay. Venkat, are you ready with version 2.0 of the story?
Yes, Haritosh.
Go for it.
Yes, we, Seva Ramapandi, Ramanaadan, and, uh, me worked, joined in a company. Sorry, first, I will start from—
no problem, restart.
Yes, we, Seva Ramapandi, Ramanaadan, and me joined as a work from home employee during the year 2022. Since we were working from home, company didn't provide enough responsible work. This is— this was— this was the first time company offloaded work from job from Japan. We were work from India and the company is located in Japan. That is compensation part also, we got a great and we got a lot of other, uh, others like sick leave, casual leaves, other leaves also we got. We enjoyed and we didn't ask for responsible work. One year over, two years over, and I was bored because of work from home job. I, I requested my HOD and I wanted to move to work from office job to Japan. But others, Shivram Pandey and Ramanaathan, still wanted to work from job, so they didn't request anything. At the same time, company workload also, projects also was low at the time. Then company said, since company do not have enough projects, they wanted to quit they wanted to leave other two persons. Sivarampandi and Ramana finally requested Lord to continue work from home or to join work from office, but the company didn't allow anything. Finally, they sent to, to the two, but I safely moved to Japan. The reason is We didn't ask for responsibility, and company also considered, and they didn't know our capabilities, technicals, and productivity. This is— this was the reason company didn't know as we are a great resource. Even though we have a great capability, we missed to continue our job. That was the great bad remarks for us. From this I conclude that we should take responsible even though company couldn't not provide a job. Take responsible in your job and provide great value to the company. That's all. Thank you.
Awesome story. Power to you, SPTY. And yeah, quick feedback. This time the feedback should be shorter. So do you feel It has improved.
Yeah, it has improved 100%.
Awesome, good job, Venkat. Yeah, of course, there's in terms of structure some things more need to be clarified, and somewhere I guess you were still, were, no, using, interchanging the word work from office, work from home. But overall I can see there is an improvement, and I think if you continue to work on it, it is going to be a Great story. So awesome. Let's go to Dr. Alka.
In 2006, I was making my— building my new clinic premises, and one day I got a phone call, desperate phone call from my contractor. Alka ma'am, if you don't do something about cement, we are going to leave your place. I said, what happened, Bharat? So he's saying there is a strike of the cement factory. And we cannot continue the work if there is no cement. Do something quickly, otherwise we will go and leave your site. And they almost left my site. I was totally devastated. I just didn't know what to do. And I'm thinking like, what can I do in this position? Because every single day of loss of work meant a lot, a huge loss of money. I had only one choice left, so I said, let me call up the company. And when I called up the company, there was this girl on the other side and she was saying, yes, madam, tell me the name of your company. I will give you cement only if you have a company. And I was stunned. I was shocked because I didn't have a company. I had to create a company and I visualized what I'm going to offer to the people. And then I got the names for my company.
Excellent. Okay, awesome. Great job. Story power to you, Dr. Alka. So quick feedback, Venkat, how do you feel now?
Yes, I feel I love the way she shared the story. Everything is conversation. I love this story.
Yes, yes, I can definitely watch for that. This is looking much better than I Want to Take You Back, just say 2006. And, and you also added the vocal variation, which is not easy to do it in, in matter of minutes. But this is how the growth happens, right? It's not always comfortable. So I think this is the best version of this story yet. There's always a better version, but I love that you are able to add dialogues, you're able to add vocal variation, 3 different characters going around. Yeah, I think the only thing would be that towards the end when you say, okay, ma'am, do it fast, tell me more, I have more people waiting. So that is again building more urgency, and that time you have to say, okay, I didn't know anything, but in a flash the word came, and then I gave this hope and care. But yeah, great job both of you. Let's have a quick reflections and then we'll part away. So what was the learning for you, Venkat, today?
Yes, today I got two times telling story.
That is a great thing.
We have to repeatedly telling the same story, then only Everything would be clear, story would be attractive.
Absolutely, you have to write and rewrite. Yes, Dr. Alka, what was your major reflection?
I think what I do in the morning, I close my diary and then I keep it, you know, because I've got other things to do. I've got a yoga class and I have to go somewhere. But I think we have to open this book again and we have to keep on practicing, practicing, practicing.
Yeah, absolutely. Practice makes things better. And as they say, great stories are not written and told, the great stories are rewritten and retold till the time it becomes great and relived. And relived, absolutely, 100%. So that, that was it, day 43 of StorySpark session. We'll meet again for day 44. So as I say every time, until next time, keep learning, keep growing, and keep going out of your comfort zone.
