Blake Lefkoe on Eliminating Limiting Beliefs with The Lefkoe Method

Blake Lefkoe explains how the Lefkoe Method removes limiting beliefs like "I'm not good enough" that trigger anxiety, procrastination, and self-sabotage. The technique works by changing the meaning you assign to events, not the events themselves, which reshapes how you show up in relationships and work.
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What's up, my good people? Welcome to the CJ Moneyway Show and with Believe Network, where we uncover the stories behind the success. I'm your host CJ, and this is the show that dives deep into the journey and thought leaders, innovators, and change makers who have made their mark on the world. Whether it's breaking barriers, overcoming obstacles, or redefining what's possible, our guests share the real stories behind their triumph to inspire and empower you to pursue your own path to success. Today's guest is someone who is transforming lives by helping people break free from the mental and emotional barriers that hold them back. Joining us today, Blake Lefkoe, a leader in transformational coaching and the driving force behind the Lefkoe Method. Blake's unique approach empowers individuals to eliminate limited beliefs, embrace their authentic selves, and unlock their full potential. In this episode, we'll explore Blake's journey, the power of the Lefkoe Method, and how you you can take steps to identify and overcome the beliefs that may be holding you back. Get ready for enlightened conversation that just might change the way you think about yourself and your potential. Let's get into it. So, Blake, how you doing today? Thank you for coming on the show.
That was a fantastic introduction.
That's something new I started in the new year. I'm trying something different. So I'm glad you like it.
Thank you.
So tell us a little bit about yourself and about your background.
Okay, so I grew up— my dad created this method when I was a kid. And I grew up in a house with two parents that were in the personal development, personal growth field. And that's what we talked about at the dinner table. And that was the advice I got. And it was always, you know, what do you believe in this and that. And No, I remember my mom always telling me the most important qualities in a man is that they're open to personal growth. And like, you know, that was it. And so I kind of just did what a lot of kids do when their parents tell them something is you just do the opposite.
Yeah.
I just completely rebelled. And I was like, I want no part in any of this personal growth. I don't want to look at my stuff. I just want to go have fun.
Yeah.
And I did. But, you know, when you don't look at your stuff, and you start having fun, there, there's a level of darkness and suppression that comes with that. And, you know, the drinking turned from fun drinking to everyday drinking to drinking by myself to, you know, traveling the world, but ending up in relationships with, you know, toxic, dysfunctional men who were also alcoholics and. And I ended up in Hawaii at 18. I traveled a lot from here. And I ended up in the restaurant industry. Gosh, I think I started when I was 14 years old, and I was able to work and make money and travel. And one day I woke up and I was in my late 30s. I was a single mother, I was an alcoholic, I was a bartender. I had just gotten out of another relationship that was like, just so unsustainable that I tried to make work for so long. My back was out. So I was out of the water, like an avid water woman, surfing, foiling, winging, towing, all the things. And I just woke up and I was like, oh my God, like, what am I doing? Like, this is so unfulfilling. This is so unsustainable. This is so unsatisfying. You know, like, I'm not present for my son in all of his glory because I'm just dealing with my own garbage. I'm not dealing with my own garbage. And I was really fortunate that I had this method and I was able to fall back on it and start using it. And I also, I sat with some plant medicine, which was also like a good kickstart. And that was just over 3 years ago. And I got sober. And after 3 decades, I got out of the restaurant industry, or anyone that's in it for a long time knows it's a really hard thing to do. I started my own business. I took all the trainings. And now I work with people doing this method and helping them get unstuck and start living lives that are authentic to, to who they are and their passions and values and what gets them excited. And I've learned to find balance in my life and I parent my son totally differently and I'm so present and mindful for him and his needs and never missing a baseball game and always being able to drive him to practice or do drills with him. And I have lots of time to get in the ocean and my relationships are different and who I attract to my life. And, you know, I'm not as defensive anymore. And I'm just open to more things and the things that show up in the way that I, you know, even like his father, right? It used to be such a tumultuous relationship. But I worked on myself to the point that even though his dad is the same, our communications, our relationship is totally different because of the energy that I bring in the space I give him to show up differently and my boundaries. And it's amazing. It's just been like a full 180.
Man, I first I heard Aqua Woman. So you Aqua Woman, you love to be in the water, huh? I appreciate you sharing what you just shared. As I was listening to you, I thought about a couple things. As far as the method, like you say, you strayed away from it. You didn't think that was for you. Then you went out and did what you wanted to do and found yourself in some dark places, attracting the wrong people. I can relate to that too. I know exactly what you mean by that. And then as you were saying about your son, that you weren't there to be able to do the things that you wanted to do with him because you were trying to figure things out, you know what I'm saying, on your own, trying to see why I'm mad or whatever. I got a new podcast that's coming out and trailer is January 15th. And you made me think about it 'cause one of the subjects that I have is Playground to Purpose. And what I meant by that, it's twofold. So what I meant by that is that a lot of time us as adults, adults are still on the playground. And so we're still playing around, and the kids sitting back watching us on the playground. They sitting up there watching us on the merry-go-round. And because we're still trying to figure out what we want to do in life, we're still trying to figure out our direction. So a lot of times— I'm not saying this is in your case, I'm just saying hypothetically speaking— so a lot of times we're leaving the children alone to basically raise themselves. And so, you know, so we're missing out on some things. And so when you conclude it, like you said, the only thing that we can do is actually empower ourselves on the way that we approach things, on the way that how we view things. And although this person may not have changed, I've changed. And so it's changed the trajectory of how this relationship is, because all you can do is change yourself. That's it.
You know, let's try and change other people and then we get disappointed when they don't change. But yeah, that's not disappointing us. That's us having unreasonable expectations. We're setting ourselves up for disappointment. You know, how can you be in a way that's going to, you know, give someone the space or the opportunity to be different, right? And it's also like, you know, when you work on yourself and again, with kids, with adults, with whatever, and just bringing it back to the point you're saying about children. If you have the feeling when your children talks back, or does this or doesn't listen, and you go, oh, they're disrespecting me, you're gonna get angry, right? But you can say, maybe they're talking back, because they know that I love them unconditionally. And I've created a safe space for them to be authentic, and to feel heard and seen. And that's amazing. My kid's not scared of me, right? They safe to stand up for themselves or to enter into a conversation.
Mm-hmm.
If you want— you don't want a kid that's scared and just does what everybody says because they're going to be doing drugs and having sex and— right? You know what I mean? And yes, they're harder to raise. Absolutely.
Yeah.
The kid that knows what they want and who they are and stands up for themselves, like, that's amazing, right? When you change that meaning, your child is still acting the same way. But now instead of getting angry, right, you can come from a place of love or compassion or, man, you know, I remember what it's like to be 7 and to feel powerless because every decision is made for you. Maybe I'll enter into this conversation. Well, let's reach a compromise. Or what is it that you want? Let me hear what you say.
Right?
So that whole interaction can change even though your child's the same. It's the way you're approaching it. And then your child is going to see that energy and their defenses are going to drop. And now you can enter into a different kind of conversation or dialogue.
Yeah, exactly. You know, because like you say, a lot of times they taking things— you can only teach somebody what you know. And so if I come from a toxic place and all I'm doing is fussing and cussing and having an attitude and being mad at the world because of the things that I'm enduring in life, I'm passing that along, you know. And so that's why I named the podcast Planting Seeds, because it's— all of us plant seeds. Every last one of us plant seeds. And so the difference is, is what type of seeds are you planting? Because some can plant seeds to build people up, and some can plant seeds to tear people down. So it's all about how you talk to people and how you interact with people. So I appreciate that. So Blake, let's get into this. How does the Left Coat Method help people free themselves from their limitations?
So our beliefs determine our lives, how we show up, what we think, the emotions we feel, our behaviors, everything. And by getting rid of the beliefs that keep you stuck, you nullify triggers, you're able to attract different things, you're able to show up differently, have different feelings about things, respond to things differently. So how it works is people come with a pattern, a behavioral or an emotional pattern that they want to change. Anything from anxiety, depression, procrastination, negative self-talk, fear, social anxiety, self-sabotage. You know, I stay in toxic relationships. It can be anything. Like, people can improve their golf game. People can— right? Anything where you are stuck. And so you come in with a pattern and then we find the beliefs that contribute to that pattern. The example that I always use because it's so common is procrastination, right? So if you have the belief, I'm not good enough, nothing I do is good enough, mistakes and failures are bad, if I make a mistake, I'll be rejected. You know, it's dangerous to be seen. It's dangerous to stand out, right? If you have these beliefs, it's going to be really hard to go after what you want, right? You're not going to want to sit down and do something because you feel like it's never going to be good enough anyway, or because if you make a mistake, you're going to be rejected. So when you start to eliminate these beliefs, the pattern just shifts and there's no integration. There's no remembering, I have to think differently. There's no steps. There's no like— it's like magic, right? You get rid of these beliefs And then all of a sudden, you go to do something and you're not afraid to do it. You go to sit down at your computer and start that podcast or write that article or do whatever that thing is, try something new. I work for social anxiety. People are able to go out and start being social, to have interactions with people where they're no longer scared, no longer feeling like their self-worth is reliant on what other people think of them. They've, you know, a lot of people have the belief, I'm not safe. What makes me safe is this thing. And when you get rid of the belief, I'm not safe, and you get rid of the survival strategy, what makes me safe is this. Now all of a sudden you have so much possibility and you see people that, you know, even that are stuck in something that seems positive, right? Like I have to make money, I have to be successful, I have to achieve things. But it's never enough. They're never satisfied. They're saying, I want to spend time with my family. I want to, you know, spend more time doing my hobby. I want to do more. But then they just work and they work and they work and they can't because they're stuck in this idea that what makes them good enough is achieving. And if you feel like you're— again, you know, your self-worth, your survival is dependent on this thing. You're not in control. And so as much as you say you want to change, you don't. And when you get rid of the beliefs behind it, it doesn't mean you're going to stop achieving, doesn't mean you're going to stop striving for success, stop making money. It's just now you have a choice in that, right? Do I want to take my wife to dinner tonight, or do I want to go to this business meeting that just popped up? You have a choice. You can do either. But when a survival strategy is running, you don't have the choice.
Yeah, I like that method, especially, you know, like you said, you said something that resonated with me. It made me think and say that hell and destruction are never full, but so the eyes of man is never satisfied, you know. So it's like no matter how much we get in life, or, you know, saying the things that we have obtained because of some of the inner things and some of the things that block us, you know what I'm saying, from fully enjoying our lives, we're never satisfied.
Satisfied with what we have, you know, what we're not present, we're not present to enjoy it. And when you think this thing is going to make you happy, and it doesn't, instead of realizing, oh, this doesn't make me happy, we go, oh, I know, I need more of it.
Yeah.
And it's money, and it's drugs, and it's women, and it's alcohol, and it's everything, right? Instead of saying, this isn't working, let me try something else, we go, I know, I need more. I need another hit. I need another million dollars. I need And, and what's crazy is that like we never realize that it doesn't work.
It's insane. Yeah, just steady going deeper and deeper into that hole, you know what I'm saying, that you can't dig yourself out of. So yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. So Blake, you've worked with people facing a wide range of challenges from anxiety to addiction. What types of behavioral and emotional patterns do you often see, and how do they tend to manifest in people's lives?
I'd say the biggest things that— the most common is kind of fears, social anxieties, procrastination. I mean, it's such a wide range. It's really just anywhere where people are stuck, you know. And I had someone saying like, I can't run as fast as I want to because, you know, I just feel like I'm not fast. I'm tired of the belief I'm not fast. Just anything. And it's so cool, because it's so applicable, you know, to any area, because our beliefs really do determine our reality. And when you have a belief, the most common belief, 95% of my first sessions with people is the belief I'm not good enough. That can manifest in a wide range of patterns, right? And you have people that are like, I'm not good enough, I'm not going to try. And people that say, I'm not good enough, I'm going to do everything to show, to prove, to— right?
Yeah.
But when you have that belief, it's like you're wearing these I'm not good enough glasses, right? And so that's all you see. You see examples everywhere. And anything that happens, you go, oh, you're— and you're constantly looking for them. You're constantly looking for proof that what you believe is true. Oh, I didn't get that job. See, I'm not good enough. Oh, I didn't win this thing. See, I'm not good enough. Oh, I burned dinner. See, I'm not good enough. Oh, see, this relationship didn't work. I'm not good enough. And when you eliminate that belief and you take those glasses off, right, not only are you not seeing that anymore, it is your perception switch. And you go, oh, that relationship didn't work. But it's not because I'm not good enough. Like, look what I got out of that relationship. Look what I learned. Now I know what I do want in a partner. I know what I don't want. I know this doesn't work. I know that doesn't work. I know when I show up this way, these kinds of people, right, whatever, there's all these things. So it wasn't that it failed, right? It was that that was an experience that I learned from, and now I'm going to take that into my next relationship, and that's going to be better. So not only does it change how you see things, but it also makes space for things to show up differently. Right? And that perspective switch is so powerful because we cannot get a job and go, oh, yep, I'm not good enough and nothing works out for me and life is hard. Or we can go, I didn't get that job because maybe that wasn't the right job for me, because maybe there's something better coming. And if I had taken that job, I would have missed this other opportunity, right? So it's little perspective switches. And again, nullifying triggers, right? If I feel like I'm powerless and what gives me power is being in control, I have to control everything. Because otherwise I feel powerless. And when I get rid of that, now I don't have to be in control of everything because I don't feel like that's what gives me power. So it's so freeing, you know, it just gives you space for so many different things to show up in your life. You know, if you believe life is hard, your life's gonna be hard. Consistent with your beliefs. If you believe relationships don't work, that's all you're gonna see. And it's crazy because I had a friend that I worked with, and she had the relationship— the belief, you know, relationships are hard. And we got rid of it, and all of a sudden, like, there's this moment, right? The belief goes away, and all of a sudden she was like, oh my God, my best friend is in the most amazing relationship. Like, they hardly fight. They communicate so well. They get along so well. They have this amazing marriage. And she wasn't even able to see that because all she had was the belief relationships are hard. And so all she did was point to the places where she saw that they were hard. Like, even my relationship, some of it's hard, but we do this so well together and we do this so well and we get along. Stop by Sherwin-Williams and get 30% off select paints and and stains, June 13th through the 23rd. It's the perfect time to transform your space with color. Refresh your home inside and out with colors that make every space feel brand new. From cozy interiors to stunning exteriors, we've got the perfect shade for your next project. Shop the sale online or visit your neighborhood Sherwin-Williams store. Click the banner to learn more. Retail sales only. Some exclusions apply. See store for details. In this way really well. It's parts of it that are hard, right? So she wasn't even able to see these things. And when she eliminated the belief, nothing in her life had changed yet. But she was able to see things differently and see things that she hadn't noticed before.
I like that. Taking the blinders off, taking the blinders off. You know, like you say, all we're seeing is the negative things. In the relationship, but we're not seeing the good thing because we're letting the negative outweigh the good things. But then once you take that negative belief off and you start saying, well, you know what, yeah, this is cool, yeah, we do take trips, yeah, we do go out to dinner, yeah, we do do that, you know what I'm saying? Like, wow, I didn't know how amazing things— you know what I'm saying? Because it's a buildup thing. We build these things up I believe a lot of times so that because this is our mindset, so that we won't be let down. And so we already got this, like you say, perception that, oh, it's not going to work. I'm gonna give it a try and I'm gonna give it my best, but I don't really believe it's gonna work. And so if it don't work, I already knew that. Yeah, yeah, I already knew that. So yeah, I like that. That's a good point. I like you sharing that with us. So tell us, Blake, In your experience, how do limiting beliefs develop, and why is it so important to identify and eliminate them?
So when you're little, right, you ever seen a 4 or 5, 6-year-old kid? What do they ask constantly?
Can I have? Why? Why?
And then you give an answer and they say, why? Right? Kids want they want to understand the world. Right? You are literally like a sponge at that age, you are learning everything. But we don't have the capacity as a 4, 5, and 6-year-old and go, oh, my dad's treating me this way, because he's an alcoholic, or because he's emotionally unstable, or because he's angry, or he's working all the time, because he's trying to pay for my bills and my clothes and my rent and then food on the table, right? Oh, I'm not getting the attention that I want. Kids want a lot of attention, right? They go, oh, there must be something wrong with me. I'm not important, right? They don't go, there's something wrong with my dad. You know, he doesn't know how to show up as a father, right? My dad left when I was a kid, because he had issues that he had dealt with. We go, oh, it's my fault. There must be something wrong with me. I'm not good enough. I'm not important. I'm not lovable. Right? You know, you do draw a picture. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look, look at my picture. And she's like, I'm busy. Go away. I'm making dinner. Like, you know, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, look. And he's like, I'm on the phone. What's wrong with you? And you go, oh, you know, I'm not important. There's something wrong with me.
Yeah.
So we develop these beliefs, right? People that come from abuse, you know, I'm not safe, I'm powerless, people are dangerous, whatever it is, right? There's all these beliefs that we form. And it's not conscious. But then we go through life with these beliefs, and they determine our reality. Right? And so it's why so often when people are in violent homes, they get into violent relationships. Right? I'm not deserving, I'm not worthy. I'm not important, I'm not lovable. So of course, this is how I'm going to be treated. There's nothing better.. And it really just determines what you attract, what you allow, how you show up, what you think, your emotions. And by eliminating them, you create space for things to be different, to really have a different kind of life. And people are raised to feel like life is supposed to be a certain way. And my favorite thing is getting people to a place where they realize that that's not true. Yeah, your life can be whatever you want it to be, whatever. And some people don't even know what that looks like, right? You got to like, eliminate the beliefs, you know, what I want isn't important. And, you know, these people pleasing patterns is a really big one, right? The way to be okay, the way to be safe, the way to be loved, is to make other people happier, is to have other people think well of me. And when you can release yourself of that, you can still be a wonderful, kind person, you can still try and make people happy, but not at the expense of your own authenticity and passions and values and self-care. Right? You know, it's about that balance. So yeah, it's, you know, it's these beliefs that are formed in childhood. And here's the premise, here's like, this is like the crazy piece. So events have consequences, consequences, be hard, painful, scary, right? Like, we'll never invalidate the consequences of events. But events in and of themselves don't have meaning. They don't mean anything. I don't know anything for sure about you because your dad beat you and called you names as a child. Doesn't mean anything about you, right? So what happens is when we're children, and even we do it as adults, we do it all day, every day, we give meaning to things. And that meaning is what causes our emotions, our thoughts, our behaviors. It's not the events themselves. Because people experience traumas when they're kids, but they're still living as a function of those traumas, even though they're no longer in them. Meaning they gave to the traumas that turn into these beliefs that they're carrying with them. And so that's a big piece of the process is really getting that, you know, events don't have meaning and coming up with different meanings. And when you give a different meaning to that event, all of a sudden you feel differently, right? You realize the feeling wasn't a result of the event. It was the result of the meaning you give the event. And a really cool tool that I teach my clients that, you know, we can try and do here is Find and start small, like start with little events. You know, the event that you get in bed that night and you can't sleep because you're going, oh, that guy cut me off, or that person didn't say hi to me, or right, whatever it is. And what's the meaning you're giving it? What's producing that anger, that hurt, that upset? Oh, you know, they didn't, they didn't smile at me because they don't like me, because they think I did something wrong, because they're mad at me, because there's something wrong, right? All these things. Okay, could mean that. What else could it mean? Could mean they're having a bad day. Could mean they had a headache. Could mean they were fighting with their boyfriend. And if they said hi to you, they were gonna burst into tears in the grocery store. So they were— yeah, yeah, we're selling. And they were like, oh, you know, they don't want to talk to me. They're in a bad mood. I'm gonna give them space, right? Could mean a million things. It could mean they are mad at me. But if they don't tell me what I did, how am I supposed to know? Could mean they're mad at me for something that in my values, I don't feel like is something wrong. And it's their issue, because they feel that maybe they hate me. But that doesn't mean I'm not likable. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. Right. And so when you realize that the meaning you're giving that event is in your head, it's not out in the world. Yeah, the thought dissipates and the feeling dissipates. And you can train yourself to start doing it to where you can do it for bigger things. Right. But it's the meaning we give to the events that causes our emotions, and our thoughts and our behaviors, not the events themselves. And when you realize that, you really give yourself so much freedom, because you're not a victim anymore. You're not living life at the effect of other people. And what they say and what they do. Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah, you're making a lot of sense. Makes so much sense, I gotta ask you before I move on to the next question, because you're dropping so many nuggets right now. So where can we go to find the Levkov Method? What's your social media handles, your website? Give us all that so we can go, uh, okay.
So I, I hate social media, and everyone keeps telling me I'm crazy and I need to make an Instagram account. But right now I have a website. If you get on the website, you can schedule a free— it's a 15-30 minute consultation. Tell me what's going on with you. I can tell you how I can help, any doubts you have. And I mean, it's just time for us to talk. And that's just my name. It's blakelefko.com, B-L-A-K-E-L-E-F as in Frank dot com. And then my email is just blakelefko@gmail.com. And drop me a line, I'll get back to you. So those are the two main ways to reach me. Because my dad created the Lefkoe Method, my mom's done it for 35 years. He did a TED Talk a long time ago before he passed. There's just so many studies out there. There's testimonials. There's— the Lefkoe Institute has multiple websites and courses that they offer. You know, there's, there's a lot of people out there. So if you want to get a hold of me, blakelefko.com, blakelefko@gmail.com. And I'm super available to talk to anyone, answer any questions you have, any fears, you know, let me know where you're at, where you're stuck, how I can help. Yeah, I love this stuff, man.
I can tell. So all the things, her website and her email, it will be in the show notes. So if you want to talk to Blake about where you stuck at, some of your childhood trauma, that some of the things that you can't get over, that, you know, uh, to get over events. I'mma have it in the show notes and you can personally talk to Blake yourself. So Blake, moving forward, I only got a few more questions for you. I appreciate you coming on today. Being authentic is something that many people struggle with. What does it truly mean to live authentically? And how can someone begin the journey of embracing their true self?
So I think what typically stops people from living an authentic life is, again, this idea that life should be a certain way, or feeling like what's more important is making other people happy, kind of that people pleasing, or feeling like, you know, people have beliefs, I don't belong, I don't fit in. So they feel like they have to be a certain way to belong or fit in. And you get rid of some of these beliefs, and you're able to start seeing, well, what do I want? What are my values? You know, what are my passions? What works for me? How do I want to show up? What kind of relationships do I want to create? What kind of parenting— like, how do I want to parent my children? How do I want to be? What works for me? What resonates with me? And starting to be comfortable asking those questions, because sometimes we don't know, right? I was in my late 30s before I started my career that I love. I was a bartender, I was forever— I was in the restaurant industry. I didn't know what was authentic because I didn't even know what I wanted to do, right? But being in a place where you can try things, right, when you get rid of this fear of failure— well, what if I fail? Well, so what? You learn and you It's not a failure. It's a learning experience, right? That doesn't work. That doesn't resonate. I don't like that kind of relationship. I don't like this kind of job. I don't like this career. I don't, you know, I'm going to learn from that. And I'm going to take that information so that I can go out and find something that does resonate, that does work for me. And that's, to me, is authenticity is like, what does your life look like for you? What works for you? How can you be in a way that aligns, that feels good?
Yeah, I get what you're saying. Because like you say, you was in the restaurant industry. I work— that's how I started off. I started working at 16. I was working in restaurants. I got my brother a job at the restaurant I was working at. I got my cousin a job at it because I was so good at what I was doing. Busting tables and washing dishes. That's what I was doing at the restaurant. But I worked in the casino industry for 20 years, so half of my adult life I worked in the casino industry. So I know exactly what you're saying about, you know, being in that place and is this being authentic? Is this really me? Is this my purpose to deal cards, watch people play dice all day long? Nah, I don't think so. So anyway, Blake, what advice would you give listeners who are just starting their journey of self-discovery and want to take the first steps towards breaking free from their limitations?
Call me. No, I'm just kidding.
Call me.
Yeah, I mean, start playing with the idea and seeing, you know, what meaning you're giving these events, right? Anytime there's like a negative emotion that pops up, what meaning are you giving it? You know, just because this thing happened, I don't know anything about you for sure. Just because you worked in a casino for 20 years doesn't mean that one day you're going to find your passion. Like, it's never too late. You know what I mean? And you're never too old, you're never too far gone, you're never too depressed, you're never too— you know, like, there's always space for change and growth and healing and learning, you know. So what's keeping you stuck and how can you free yourself from that? You know, yeah, maybe you woke up today really depressed. Does that mean you're going to be depressed every day for the rest of your life? No. You know, you might be feeling really alone, you might be feeling really scared, you might have anxiety, you might— that doesn't mean anything about the rest of your life. And just, you know, like, real profound change is possible. It's amazing, you know, and there's a lot of modalities out there. There's all kinds of stuff. What I find really makes a huge difference, right, is people spend a lot of energy trying to talk themselves out of their beliefs. Right? Affirmations. I'm going to put sticky notes all over my house saying, you're pretty and you're good enough. And right, I'm going to say, no, I know I'm good enough because this and that and this thing and my money, my bank account and this person and this relationship. But how exhausting is it going through life talking yourself out of your beliefs? You don't have that belief. You don't have to spend any energy talking yourself out of it because you don't have it. It's not there, right? I don't have to put a sticky note saying I'm good enough if I don't believe I'm not good enough. If I feel valuable and special and pretty, I don't have to walk around telling myself I'm valuable and special and pretty. I just am.
Yeah.
You know, and so that's something I think that people do instead of really getting to the root and finding a way to like pull it out. You know, it's like you just keep kind of weeding that top part of the plant, weeding that, but it's exhausting. It's still there. It's not going anywhere. You know, it's like holding that beach ball underwater. You can only do it for so long. There's also, if you know, you do have social anxiety stuff, and you don't want to work with a facilitator doing this, there's videos made. That's a Natural Confidence package that my parents made a long time ago. And it's, I don't know what it is. It's like the 17 kind of core self-esteem beliefs that really just help with Confidence and procrastination and all that stuff. And it's super affordable. And you can just buy that and do it on your own pace. It's like a video. So you just eliminate the beliefs with the video. And it's nice to have a facilitator to find your specific beliefs. But these ones are really common. And the Natural Confidence is a great first step as well.
You know, you said something that again resonated with me as far as some things I'm doing on my other podcast. And you're talking about the roots. Sometimes we don't deal with the root causes. I was telling somebody the other day, it's like you cut down a tree, big tree that was in front of your house, or over there in Hawaii, let's say a coconut tree. So you cut down a tree, but it's still a stump there. But although the tree been cut down for a while, so you don't see the tree anymore, so the vision of the tree has dissipated, it's gone. But it's still a stump, and so connected to the stump is the root. And so, you know what I'm saying? And so sometimes in life we can get rid of some situations, or baby daddy or baby mama, and you don't see them no more. You moved on in your life and they moved on in their life, but it's still some roots that, that we haven't dealt with. You know what I'm saying? That's going down there.
Like a lot of the time when people stop drinking, right, they have a vice. And what's under that vice is these, you know, beliefs or suppressed emotions, right? And you can stop drinking. But like one of the issues that I kind of have with AA, and it's a great program, it helps a lot of people, but your life often goes from being about drinking to being about not drinking. Right? So when you're not drinking, but the emotions are still there, and it's still this constant struggle. Today I'm not going to drink. Today I'm— and it's exhausting. You know, it's really tiring. Like, when I quit drinking, it was hard. But what made it easier was getting rid of the things that were underneath the drinking. Right? If you get rid of the emotions, the thoughts, right, the stuff underneath, it becomes so much easier. And it stops being a struggle because, like, the stuff that you were drinking to suppress is no longer there. And so that's what you're talking about, the roots. Like, yeah, I can stop drinking, but I still gotta walk around that tree all day, every day.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I'm not gonna drink today, I'm not gonna drink now, I'm not gonna drink now. Like, I did that. It's hard, man. Yeah, everywhere. Okay, well, I'm not gonna go to restaurants, I'm not gonna go to bars, I'm not gonna go to picnics, I'm not gonna go to barbecues. Like, yeah, you want to do that stuff, you want to be in life, you want to get to a place where like you can just exist in life without that exhaustion of, you know, yeah, over that, that tree stump every day.
I agree. Blake, I really appreciate you coming on, dropping these nuggets on us today. Is it any last things that you would like to leave the audience with before we get out of here?
Yeah, just remember that your life doesn't have to look any certain way. It really can look however you want it to. You know, typically the only thing standing in our way is ourselves. Feel like it's, it's this person changed, that this situation changed. But if you take control of your life, and you realize that you're not a victim, that you were actually the creator of your life, it gives you a lot of power.
You heard it right here from Blake Lipko. You are the creator of your life. So just keep moving forward and let's tackle those roots. Thank you for tuning in to this—
Thank you so much.
—to this enlightening episode of CJ Moneyway Show in association with Believe Network Stories Behind the Success. Today's conversation with Blake Lipkoepp has been a powerful reminder that the limitations we place on ourselves don't have to define us. By identifying and breaking free from those limited beliefs, we open ourselves up to a life of being authentic, growth, and boundless potential. Blake's story, her work with the LEPKOV Method, and the transformation she's witnessed serve as a testament to the power of self-awareness and intentional change. If there's one takeaway from today's episode, it's that we all have the ability to rewrite our narrative. Embrace who you are truly and take control of your journey. If this conversation resonated with you, take a minute to reflect on the beliefs that might be holding you back. Remember, the first step towards transformation begins with the courage to look inward and the willingness to let go of what no longer serves you. Thank you again, Blake, for joining our show and sharing your insights and expertise. Be sure to connect with her and explore more about the Life Coach Nothing. If you're ready to take that next step in your life. Always, I'm CJ reminding you to stay true, stay focused, and keep growing. Don't forget to subscribe, share this episode with someone who might need it, and join us next time for more stories behind the success. Until then, take care, keep moving forward, and remember, you have the power to change your journey. You have been listening to the CJ Moneyway Show with your boy CJ Moneyway. We outta here.
Thank you for listening to the CJ Moneyway Show. Don't forget to share this episode with your friends, leave a comment, and drop a review. Be sure to tune in every Tuesday and Friday for more inspiring journeys. Who knows, your story might be next.
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