From Lost to Coach: My 14-Year Journey to Self-Discovery | Melanie Yates

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Welcome to the CJ Moneyway Show podcast, the podcast show where we unlock potential one dream at a time. Today we have another guest whose journey is truly worth hearing. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the Money Way experience.

What's up, my good people? Welcome to the CJ Money Way Show in association with Believe Network, the podcast that brings you stories behind the success. Today we have on the show author and coach Melanie Yates. How you doing today, Melanie?

Awesome. So good to be here.

Yeah, I'm glad that you could join us today. So Melanie, tell us a little bit about yourself and about your background. Sure.

Well, thanks for having me. You know, I'm a relationship and mindset coach. I believe I'm a child of God. And in this day and age, I think all of us need a little more encouragement and inspiration. And I really feel I've been called. I have a purpose to lift others up. And you don't get to that place without having your own challenges and your own struggles and your own pain. That's what gets me. That's what gets my attention, right? You know, I have to be in pain in order to kind of wake up, wake up to the world, wake up to— there must be something I'm doing that's causing this, and, and how do I get out of it, right? And so through my own pain and suffering, that actually had me searching for answers, and, and through that I mean, I did a little of everything. It was like from acupuncture to therapy to weight loss coaches. It was like, what could I just grab at next to fix me, fix this broken hole? It felt like a hole, like an emptiness, like something's missing. What am I not getting? What didn't I learn Now I am an adult and I find myself in this place of feeling kind of lost and anxious and depressed. I finally found a Coach that was able to really speak to me and make tangible results in my life. Like, tangible results started occurring and I thought, "How did you do this? How did you help me get here?" That is what made me want to be a Coach because She changed my life and I thought, wow, you know, I want to help people find the freedom that I've felt. And I'll tell you one thing, just because I've been doing this for, you know, the last 14 years doesn't mean that I don't have off days. And it's interesting how once you find a solution, once you find something that works, it doesn't mean that that's not going to be challenged or that Life is a part, it's all an experience, you know, and that's what I am finding out even today, even today on a Monday when I wake up, you know, this life is precious and it is an experience and it doesn't matter if it feels right. We get to learn how to embrace whatever is going on and hopefully we'll get to talk a little bit more about that.

Yeah, you know, I truly agree with you on what you're saying. In order to inspire others, a lot of times we have to go through the fire ourselves just to, you know, get that feeling. Not that we want to, but then once you come out of it, you realize like, wow, this is why I had to go through this, or this is why I had to go through that. We all have our trials and tribulations, and no matter how spiritual or how much we praise God, we still Like you say, on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, gonna go through something. You know, that's just part of the life. It's just like you say, that emptiness or that hole that was there, we know now who fills it and what fills it. And that's what brings us joy and happiness in order to inspire others. And as I say happiness, it leads me to my next question for you. What surprised you about the solution to your unhappiness?

You know, it's funny. What surprised me the most was the answer isn't working harder or adding more achievements to my life. I was raised that if you get that title, if you get that bank account, if you get, you know, these things that, you know, if you run a half marathon, I tried all that. It didn't change what's going on inside. And so America, we have this dream, you know, the dream, the American dream is work hard and you can accomplish anything. And as an entrepreneur, you know, you want to believe that if I just work hard, I'm going to achieve and then life will be good. It's like thinking that life is better on the other side. And so what I learned was that it's not from working harder. It's not from more achievements. It's not from even accumulating more money.

Yeah.

You know, we think if we, you know, we could be granted A wish, you know, what would we wish for? You know, like we think something in the back of our minds, there's this part of us that thinks that by working harder, adding more achievements, like that's gonna be satisfying. But we, our minds will never be satisfied. Like there is, people call it a lot of different things. It's the subconscious, it's the ego. It could be mental illness. Like, you can call it all kinds of different things, and people do and write books on it. And for me, it's just I need to know what I'm up against, and I need to realize it will never be satisfied. Like, that hole that I was talking about really is never satisfied. So that's what I'm up against. And what it came down to for me is that I had to let go of old beliefs and be willing to change how I saw myself. That was a surprise. It wasn't about getting something or fixing something. It was like I needed to let go of beliefs that weren't fulfilling me, those beliefs that I need this or that to feel okay. It really just comes from my perception. So I, I just really believe that if I'm not the problem, there is no solution. Meaning I have to start taking responsibility for my perception. And unfortunately, as we go through life, our parents, our teachers, strangers, even social media, the TV, movies, they feed us stories, you know, and a lot of them are limiting beliefs. And actually, the best thing that we can say to ourselves is, "I don't know," because when I say, "I don't know what's wrong, what's going on, how to get from here to there," it opens my mind. But most of us have too much pride to say, "I don't know," because We've also been taught, fake it till you make it, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You know, we hear these things and we identify with them, but they don't work. They're hurting us. And so we have to be open, have an open mind. Like if I can invite anybody listening to this right now, like just let's all take a deep breath in and ask, for an open mind. Like, can I open my mind to the idea that I might not know? And when I can just open it just a little bit, then something new can come in. But when I say I know, I know, I know, yeah, I know that, I know that too. And you know, when we say we know, we close our mind to a new experience. And I want to invite everybody right now that you could actually have a new experience right now. We just have to be open to it. And so by saying those words, I'm not sure, I don't know, it creates an opening so that something new could possibly come in.

With that, I totally agree with you too, because as you was talking, all I could think about is As they say, as the words say, what is it for a man to gain the whole world but then loses his soul? You know, I can have all this money, I can have all the finer things, the material things in life, but is it bringing me true happiness? And as you alluded to, there's something on the inside. I was taking the bad things that I was— the things I was doing in life and still trying to, you know, move forward with that, but it wasn't bringing me what I really needed. It wasn't fulfilling the things that I actually needed in life. And then when we do find it, which leads me to this next question, when we do find that thing, like, wow, you know, they say that we should put everything on him, you know, don't trust in ourselves but believe in him, and then he will add all these things unto us. And so that's where I believe true happiness come from, that when we get it, you know, the right way, and when it's coming, you know what I'm saying, the way that like, wow, okay, I wanted this, but I didn't get that because I wasn't ready for that at the time, you know. And if I would have got it at that time, then I would have just probably messed everything up. But the way that I went about it and the way that he brought it to me, now this brings me, uh, gratification. I'm satisfied with this because now I had to earn it, and I see now why he led me down this path. So let me ask you this question, Melanie. When you say awakening to spiritual truths, what does that mean to you?

Yeah, I mean, it means understanding that we're more than just our thoughts, feelings, or the role that I play. Like, I'm more than just being a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend. You know, my mind lies to me. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean it's true.

Yeah.

And it doesn't mean you have to give it energy. It's realizing that there's a greater purpose guiding our life. And like you were just describing, like, God has a plan and that doesn't always look like Melanie's plan.

Yeah.

And when I can believe in something more powerful than me, if you can think of a higher power, whatever that is for you, the universe, the ocean, God Almighty. We get so much hope from believing in something bigger than us, and we, when we can let go of that pride saying like, I did this, it's really interesting. But more than that, it's about having a purpose. And so when you feel like there's a greater, a higher power that's giving you a greater purpose in the world, then I think you start awakening about what your true identity is and what it's tied to. It's tied to these values, and for me, my relationship with God, not the external world, not what other people are saying. And that takes work and effort. Like, I have to get up in the morning, I have to make a choice about that. It's easy to get distracted about what's going on in the external world. I mean, tomorrow I have a feeling that a lot of people, depending on what happens tomorrow in our 2024 election, who the president's going to be, like, there's going to be some people that are either going to be happy or sad, you know, or in fear, you know, afraid that because of this election that something down the pike is going to affect them in a negative way and they're scared. And so, you know, it really comes down to, okay, no matter what happens in the election, what's the bigger picture? You know, a lot of these little struggles and stuff are temporary, but we end up making a big deal about them. I know I have made a lot of big deals about temporary problems, you know, and something came to mind to me about Joan of Arc. Who is a powerful example of somebody who had the courage to live and die for something that she believed deeply in. And it's really important to take a look at that priority of like, really, what do I believe in? And to whom and to what am I living my life for? You know, am I living a life to work for this boss? How is my value and identity showing up in my life of like what is important to me? And when I bring up Joan of Arc, the interesting thing about that clarity and courage that she had is that she saw people around her giving their lives to things, like in her eyes, didn't really matter, like power and status. What's going on right now in the world? Like when I look at even the election of the President of the United States, What's going on there? There's a lot of power and status, it seems like. Those two things are taking over. And she chose to dedicate her life to what she believed was a higher purpose, even if it cost her everything. And knowing what really matters and being willing to focus on that regardless of the challenge, it's about choosing the purpose over the comfort and knowing that deep in your heart, You can find fulfillment and joy because it ends up being a choice. When I really know what my purpose is and what I'm dedicated to and committed to, then even when it's hard, you're willing to do it. You can even have joy even when it's hard. Like, and life is gonna be hard, especially if you stand for anything and you care about anything. Then But what I'm saying is, once you've really defined what is important to you, and you know what that is, that decision makes all the other decisions a lot easier.

Yeah, I totally agree with you. And as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking about, you know, as you said, who do I belong to? Or who am I doing this for? You know, I know that you always say that my job is not my source. God is my source. And so I was thinking of the scripture where it say that I've been old and I've been young, but never have I seen the righteous forsaken or his seed begging for bread. So as you was alluding to about the election, of— yeah, of course a lot of people gonna be upset, some people gonna be sad, some people go out and do some things that's unnatural. But, but as you were saying it, and as I'm listening to it, who do I belong to? And so regardless of who president tomorrow, I trust and I believe in God that he will provide all my needs. Whatever— he hasn't brought me this far to leave. That's just the bottom line. You know, maybe I might be upset, you know, we all, we all have a choice here and we all want to win. And when you don't win, what do you do? You get upset. I mean, but life goes on regardless of who wins tomorrow. I'm going to work Wednesday. I'm pretty sure you're going to go fulfill whatever you have to do Wednesday. If I had an interview on Wednesday, I'd be doing the interview on Wednesday. So it's not gonna stop. It's not gonna stop what we're doing. I guess that's what I'm trying to get to on that point.

Yeah, we need a hallelujah and an amen.

Amen.

Because it's true. I think we need some tools because there are going to be things that show up on a regular basis, for me anyway, that life doesn't go Melanie's way. And that could put a real ding in my day. You know what I mean? So when Wednesday comes and the results are in, I'm deciding right now I'm deciding today what my intention is for those results. And if I know what my purpose is and my identity and my values, then I know that I am not in control and that God has a bigger plan and that whatever happens and whatever goes on, it is temporary. Nothing stays the same. I have a mentor that loves the word impermanence. And that means that nothing stays the same. And I, I've had physical injuries and surgery and something that really helped me when I was in physical pain and it was like, oh, this pain is so bad. It's a 10. And it felt like it's never going to go down. Like when you've been in those moments where it's so painful and you're so upset and the intensity of either the physical pain or the emotional pain is high. You feel like it's never going to change. But that's the lie your brain tells you. That is not the truth. All things change, whether it's good, whether it's bad, all things change. Nothing stays the same. So when you're feeling that intensity, just knowing that intensity is temporary, it can't stay that high because it will get lower and it might go back up, it might go, but it doesn't ever stay there. And that is a great reminder when things— and I want people to remember this the next time it hurts, whatever hurts, physical, emotional, mental, like, just remember, nothing stays the same. And that if we could just in that moment zoom out and look at the bigger picture, that's what's going to give us hope. When you know who you are and what your purpose is, that is going to give you hope.

Mm-hmm. Yep. A substance of things not seen, but yet hoped for. So Melanie, tell us about your coaching program and your seminars.

Yeah, I love helping people overcome emotional roadblocks. A lot of us have triggers from our childhood and we don't have to blame our parents. Even if you think it's their fault, it doesn't really matter. What I've come to believe is fancied or real, like fancied as in my mind made up a story to like help me survive it and get through it, or it is actually real. It's the truth. Fiction or nonfiction, it doesn't really matter. Because if I have a story in my mind that helps me play the victim in life, that triggers me, it has nothing to do with that story, but someone somehow says a word or has a tone that makes a trigger inside of me and it's automatic. Like I don't have any control over that. Again, we'll use the election as, There could be some triggers coming up for people if, you know, you don't get what you're thinking should go, right? So in those moments, like, we have these emotional roadblocks that need to be dealt with. And, you know, a lot of us have learned how to pretend, ignore, sweep it under the carpet. I don't want to deal with that. We have a lot of ways to distract and numb ourselves with drugs, with food, with alcohol, with TV, with social media. Like, There is so much numbing going on because we don't like how a situation is, right? It's not sustainable. It will catch up with you. I promise it will catch up with you. We are going to have to learn how to use a relationship with ourselves and with other people and hopefully a higher power to overcome these things that may or may not be true that we've developed stories around in our head. And I think I want to help people tap into their true potential and really find that joy even in struggle, even in struggle. And so I'm an EFT expert. It's Emotion Freedom Technique. So we use tapping to kind of balance or shift emotions so that they're not so intense that it feels like I'm gonna die over it, or I need to drink myself to sleep over it, or I need to run away from the problem. So it just helps like not make it so painful when something isn't quite the way we want in our lives. I use goal setting, I use question patterning where we question the subconscious to get the conscious mind to give us the answers. And so, so those stories are the subconscious making up stories. So logically, when we ask questions, the logical mind has to come forth to answer. And so we're kind of tricking our subconscious a little bit. I love helping people with relationships. To me, that's the most important thing in life. And of course, I believe in marriage. And if you're single, you know, I believe God wants us to be with someone else, and so that we would have a partnership. And if you're looking for someone to have a partnership, I love helping people create a relationship with themselves to attract the person that would be compatible with them to share a life with. Sometimes we marry and because we're physically attracted to them, maybe we picked somebody that isn't compatible, or we need a lot of skills to be able to neutralize or connect. So I like helping people in marriage. If you're already in a marriage and it feels like it's on the rocks, there's always hope. There is always hope. And there's a lot to uncover about if I say I don't know, then I'm open, that maybe I could do something different that would change the experience I'm having. So that's what I love helping people the most with, is relationships.

Yeah, and a lot of us need— we need that type of help. And so, uh, for the sake of time, Melody, so how do you help clients change unwanted behaviors that they're doing?

Yeah, well, first you have to recognize that they're is something that you're doing that's causing the problem, right? And then understanding the belief or the need that drives it, which fear and pride are the number two, you know, those are the offenders. Those drive us to do things that really hurt us. So we always need to understand where we are and where we want to go, and we need to understand what's stopping us from where we want to go. I think having a coach in any specific place in your life is helpful. You know, that's why professional athletes have a coach. That's why people hire accountants to help them with their money. That's like a money coach. You know, there's business coaches. There's all kinds of coaches. So why wouldn't you have a a relationship coach, you know, and I think of like the dating services that are out there, how many divorces are going on, how many therapists are needed for, you know, marriage counseling, like there's definitely a need. So recognizing that there's something I'm doing to create the problem and then just giving tools, having a guide, when you have someone doing it with you, we usually lack perspective. So just by having a coach, just by having somebody that— a mentor. I have people in my life, some are paid, some are not. Some are people that give me a perspective. Like, I often, when I'm trying to get somewhere and I can't get there, it's because I lack the perspective to get there. So by opening the people that are in my life that could help me gets you a lot further. That's been my experience. And so that's all I'm doing with clients. I'm helping them be accountable to where they want to go and stop pretending and ignoring and numbing. Yeah, that there is actually something they want to do because a lot of people will see, oh yeah, I want to get over there, but then it feels hard. Like, why do people, you know, we're coming up on the beginning of a year, People have literally stopped doing goals. They don't even bother anymore because they've done the same every year when January comes. I'm going to lose 10 pounds. I'm going to lose 50 pounds. I'm going to go to the gym. What happens? They don't go. They don't do it. They fail. And then they feel bad because they failed. We need more time. We need more accountability and stop lying to ourselves. We need someone to help us. If that's what you really want to do, you can do it. But we try to do it by ourselves and then we break our promises to ourselves and then we just keep going along in this loop over and over. And it's like, why bother? Why even try? And so that's what I think is such an amazing reason. If there is something that you want, if there is a dream, if there is a goal, if there is something that is on your heart, you can do it. It's just usually we try to do it by ourselves, and I don't believe that God wants us to do anything by ourselves. He wants us to include a higher power, you know. He wants us to include one another. I mean, the greatest commandments were love God with all your heart and mind and love one another, and That means you don't do it by yourself and that your dreams and your vision and these desires in your heart, like you don't have to do it alone. And I think we try to do things alone and it sets us up for failure. And then we give up and then we stop having hope and we stop believing and we stop dreaming and we stop visualizing. We've either crushed it ourselves or we've let other people crush it for us.

Mm-hmm. I totally agree with you. And I know it's a scripture that say that two is better than one, 'cause if one fall, there's another one there to pick them up. So if I was by myself, I couldn't pick myself up. But if I had somebody with me and I wind up getting into a situation I didn't want to be in, I got somebody that'll pick me up. So everything that you said is word-based, you know, this is life. The Bible stands for Believe in Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, you know. So these are our instructions. These are the things that you say the higher power, that God, this is what he's telling us that we can do and how we should do it. But it's all on the individual if we gonna do it or not. And so I think people like yourself that have the courage and the motivation and the willingness and the spirit to want to see people do better and be better individuals themselves and be the person, as you said earlier, whom God created you to be. So I got a couple more questions for you, Melody. So tell us, Melody, how did you master neutralizing your pain of emotions?

Yeah, it's acceptance and understanding. Like, I have to stop resisting my feelings and instead accept them as signals. So I believe feelings are signals. Even when we think of, even if we're looking at scripture, like even God got angry.

Oh yeah.

So, you know, even as a woman, it feels like society tells me like, I can't be angry and I can't be mad. And so women really suppress their anger until they can't, and then they explode and go nuts. Right? You know, and then it seems okay for men to get angry, but to cry, oh no. Society has taught, you know, men, that's a sign of weakness, right? In the scripture, there's places where Jesus was angry and threw over the tables in the temple. He was mad that people were selling things in the temple, and he threw over the tables, and he was mad that they were doing that. And then he wept. There's stories that he wept and he was angry. Like, if Jesus was perfect and had these feelings, we were created to have feelings. There's nothing wrong with feelings. So I really, I think that feelings are signals. They are trying to tell us something. It's a signal that something's going on with me. When I'm sad, depressed, anxious, angry, resentful, irritated, annoyed, like these are signals something's going on deeper in me. Now I know if I get a feeling that I don't like or I don't want to feel, I will look for things to distract me, you know, because this— I'm just speaking for myself and I think there's got to be some other people out there that, you know, I want to be happy and I want other people to think that I'm happy, you know, because happy people attract other happy people and I want to have happy people around me and I want to have friends and I want people to think that I'm a cool chick, you know, and so I have this belief that if I'm happy then everything, you know, that I'm going to have great relationships, that everything's going to be great, and that being happy all the time is the way I should be, right? And then what happens when I feel angry or when I feel sad is it's like, this isn't happy. I need to pretend I'm not feeling this. And so I'll eat maple donuts, or I will distract myself so I don't have to feel feel that feeling. And that is not sustainable because those feelings will manifest in illness. They will manifest in ways that are worse than if we would have just acknowledged and listened to the first signal, right? But that's not what we do. We push it down, we push it down, we push it down. And we have been brilliant at finding different ways to pretend and ignore and push down how we really feel, to put on a facade that I'm happy.

Yeah.

Suppressed. I have to allow myself to be— I'm not perfect. I'm never going to be perfect. But it's more than that. Like, I am still even today susceptible and prone to toxic perfectionism because of what I was just describing. Like, I think I'm supposed to be happy all the time and I want everyone to think I'm happy. That was slowly killing me. Like, it is okay to have your feelings. Your feelings are trying to tell you something. And so by allowing myself to experience emotions without judgment and addressing the needs behind them, I can transform painful feelings into valuable insights. And you mentioned a little earlier that when things are hard and when you're going through something, you don't understand when you're in it. But later on, I can see how the things that I thought were so unbearable, that were so hard, that were so painful, have actually strengthened me and have, because I overcame them, because I walked through them, because I felt the pain, I am living a different life today.

Yeah.

I mean, believe me, I still use maple donuts, but the things that I used to numb are getting less and less. And I'm able to give myself that space to feel things instead of running to hide and pretend and ignore. Because I realized it's telling me who I am. It's telling me what the path is. It's strengthening me so I can— if I feel this and I go through it, I can share it with someone else and say, hey, you know what? I know that feeling feels like it's going to kill you, but I felt it too. And I didn't die. In fact, it actually gave me a perspective that helped me enjoy my life more.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, to the fullest. And I totally agree with you on that. We go through things, and like you say, once you come to grips with certain things yourself and have an identity— and as you said earlier, as we've been saying throughout, know who God is, or know who you are in him, or who you are, and then it's easier to come to people and trying to help people. Because here's the bottom line is a lot of times we don't have to go out and find people. He'll send them to you. And one thing that I tell people all the time, they say, man, you know, I say that when people start coming to you, you have to have something in you to give to them because they're coming to you for a reason. And if I don't have nothing to give them, I'm just giving them my own wisdom. I'm just giving them my own understanding, but that's not why God is sending them to you. He's sending them to you for a reason, because what we do, uh, Melinda— I was just talking to a young lady yesterday— what we do is we plant seeds. Either we plant them or we water them. We don't know which one we doing, but all I know is that all we supposed to do is play our part, because we don't know if we're watering the seeds or planting the seeds because the Bible say that neither one of them is nothing because it's God who gives the increase. All we gotta do is play our part, but you have to have something in you to give people that's coming to you. That's just like the disciples. They had something in them because they walked with Jesus. So when the people came to them, they had something to give them, to give, as your word that you've been saying today, to give them hope. To give them hope. And that's all we're here to do, is to create hope. Like you said, I know that pain that you're going through. I've been through it, and I didn't die from it. And so I thought that was very key. So, Melinda, I just got one more question to ask you. And before I get there, where can we follow you at on your social media handles? Where can we find your coaching programs and things of that nature?

Yeah, well, YouTube has some great videos, free videos that you can check out. So it's @MelanieYates. I would love for anyone to start diving into the free content. I mean, I give those— the content on there to my clients. You can find me on Facebook at Melanie Yates. I also have a website called happyjoyousandfree.org. So yeah, I'd love to connect. I'd love to offer relationship advice and help. It's actually one of the favorite things that I love to do. And if you do go to my website, you can sign up and chat with me for free. Just bring your relationship problems. That is my most favorite thing to talk about, and I am more than willing to give free advice on relationships. So you can set up a time and for free, and you can Let me know what your problem is, and I guarantee that you will leave with something, whether you like it or not. You'll have a different perspective.

Okay, on that note, since you say you're giving out free advice on relationships and things of that nature, so my last question: what is one practical tip you believe that can help individuals make a positive impact on society?

Yep, on society. And on a relationship that means the most to you, right? So my practical tip for you today would be to love yourself and what that looks like, because we've already said it, you can't give what you don't have. And so I need everyone to look in the mirror today and say, I love you. I want you to see your eyes, focus on your eyes. And the way that you're able to look in those eyes and really mean it in a sincere way, "I love you," that's all you can give somebody else. If you're nonchalantly saying "I love you" to somebody else, if you can't sincerely say that looking into your own eyes, you can only give what you have, and if you don't have it for yourself, you don't really have it for that person. And I always start with any client, with anyone that comes with a problem, is we have to focus on you and the love that you have for yourself, the love that you're receiving from a higher power, so that you have something to offer other people. And one of my mentors I love, her name is Mel Robbins. And she talks about the high-five challenge. And so she'll say to give yourself a high-five in the mirror because we know what a high-five is, a celebration, and we're trying to look for ways that I can connect with myself to give myself a high-five like, "Yeah, Melanie, you got out of bed. Yeah, Melanie, like, you know, you're going to have a great day today. We're celebrating today, this moment right now." That is one way to use body language, which works way faster than just affirmations. By using that body language and by using visualization at the same time in the mirror, you're gonna start building a relationship with yourself. And that's how you make a positive impact on society. That really is. And I, I want to invite all of us You know, to really think about that when the results are out on Election Day, because there's gonna be people that are gonna be on one side or the other. They might be on my side, they might be on your side, they might be indifferent, but there's gonna be a lot of emotion come Wednesday. And it's like, what can I offer society in that moment? Love. You know, I don't have to be right. When I think of like, would I rather be right or would I rather be happy? Think about the next time you want to get into an argument about political party. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? And my 7-year-old son, when he was 7, would say, well, can I have both? But you really can't. You really can't. You have to decide. Do I want to experience happy, joyous, and free? Or do I want to be right? Because right comes at a price.

Melanie, I hate to be— I can't think of the name of it. But whether you say come election Wednesday, you want to offer people love. I hate to say this, but this is true. And you know it too. People gonna reject that love regardless. If they candidate don't win, ain't nobody trying to hear what Melanie talking about today, or what Corwin talking about, or what CJ talking about. But we're going to keep striving for that love and for that unity in society. But I don't think Wednesday gonna be a good day if that person—

hey, you know what, we will take progress. Okay. It's not about perfection. We're going to take progress, not perfection, because I know we're not perfect. And we're human beings. And those feelings that come up are signals. Whatever happens on Wednesday and you're feeling, take the advice of feelings are signals. And there is a signal. That feeling is giving you a signal that it needs something. If your anger is giving you that signal, like I am furious about this. What can you do to get rid of that anger? What can you do for that anger? Does it need to punch a pillow? Not a wall pillow, not someone's face.

Not somebody's face.

Yeah. Like even punching the air. Do I need to go for a run? Do I need to get some physical activity out? Take a kickboxing class. Like you need— that anger is there for a reason. It's a signal. It needs something. It wants something. Something. It wants to be released. If you hold on to it, if you numb it, if you drink over it, you're not really dealing with it. You're ignoring it. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to not get our way. It's okay. There's better ways of dealing with it, you know, than taking it out on the human race, or— yeah, or, you know, having to drink ourselves over it, you know, because it's not gonna change it. It's not gonna change it.

I think I know what I'mma do. What you gonna do if I have anger or become furious? I'm going to try some maple donuts, something that I've never tried before because I've never heard of maple donuts. And so I think that I'm Dunkin' Donuts and try me some maple donuts. Hey, so Melody, I really enjoyed you coming on today. Is there anything else that you would like to share with us before we leave?

You're going to be bummed because the maple donuts that are the best are in California.

Ah, there you go. There you go, being braggadocious again because you're in the hot weather. There you go.

Thank you so much. What a pleasure. And I, you know, I really want to Thank you, CJ, because what you're doing here, your intention to spread the good word and to lift up people is just— it's such a beautiful thing. It's everything that I stand for. And I'm grateful that I got to meet you today. And I'll tell you, Mondays aren't my favorite days. The start of a week and looking down, just Mondays can be tricky for me. Like, emotionally, right? And I'll just have to say, like, this has been so delightful, and I can just feel that this conversation has really lifted my spirits. And so I can only hope and pray that it's lifted somebody else.

Yeah, I appreciate you, Melody. Hey, so from my girl Melody Yates, I hope this conversation uplifted your spirits, whether it's on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. We hope that you got something out of this. I thank you for listening to the CJ Moneyway Show. This your boy CJ Moneyway. We outta here. Peace.

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