Hans and Franz, the exaggerated bodybuilders, host a fake infomercial for "Beyond Lifting," a service that pumps up residential driveways in Calgary. The sketch parodies influencer marketing and aggressive sales tactics with over-the-top bodybuilding jargon and repeated demands to smash the like button.
My name is Hans and this is Franz, and we're here to pump you up!
Good evening and welcome to Pumping Up with Hans and Franz.
We're the heaviest, weightiest lifters in Calgary. We're here at Beyond Lifting and we have Noel on the pump. If you don't smash the like button, I'm going to smash you! No, no, no, wait! We don't want to smash anybody! We're here to pump you up!
That's— oh, fuck.
What was the line? And we're here to show off the best driveways in all of Calgary! That's why it's important to pause and show off your pump like this! For those who are serious about getting their driveways lifted, Franz, what can they do? Well, Hans, they can call our office and get our estimator to come give them some real pumping numbers so they can get their driveway pumped up. That's right, we're not there— listen to me now and don't listen later. We're here to— we're not there for losers, we're here to lift. We're here for driveways to pump you up.
Okay, guys, we don't need to call anyone losers, it's just a commercial. We're just trying to tell people in Calgary about lifting Well, that's right.
Believe me now or believe me later, we don't care about people who don't care about getting their driveways buffed. We want to bump up your driveway. And bump you up.
