Dallas Bragg teaches the 90-second rule: when you feel the urge to check social media or seek validation, set a timer and sit with the discomfort. An emotion runs its course in 90 seconds if you don't ruminate on it. His client Marcus felt anxiety peak at 45 seconds, then it passed, giving him back the choice to check or not.
I teach Marcus a practice that becomes transformative for him. It's called the 90-second rule. When he feels the urge to seek validation, to check Grindr, to fish for compliments, get on Instagram, to perform for attention, he just stops, sets a timer on his phone for 90 seconds, and he just feels the discomfort in his body. It feels like he's glitching. Research shows that an emotion left alone moves through your nervous system in about 90 seconds. The only reason it lasts longer is that we keep retriggering it with our thoughts or trying to make it go The first time Marcus tries this, he's shocked. The desperate need to check his phone, the anxiety glitching in his system, the sense that he must know if somebody's noticing him, it peaks around 45 seconds and then starts to decrease. By 90 seconds, he can actually choose whether to open the app or not open the app. He's no longer compelled. He has a choice. That's amazing.
