Dallas Bragg, a chemsex recovery coach, explains why arousal under the influence doesn't reflect real desire. Holding yourself accountable for drug-induced fantasies creates shame that either triggers relapse or leads to misery. He recommends self-compassion and professional help if trauma persists.
Listen, we all watched the same things on Zoom, Telegram, and Twitter while we were engaged in chemsex. Hi, my name is Dallas. I'm a chemsex recovery coach for men who have sex with men. Listen, there's a difference between drug-fueled fantasy and true desire. What aroused you under the influence of a substance is different than what you truly may desire even without the substance. There's a big difference between fantasy and desire. When you hold yourself accountable for what you fantasized about and were aroused on with on chemsex, you're not being fair to yourself. It can lead to you believing false stories like, I'm sick, there's something wrong with me, um, I'm a bad person. When you buy into those beliefs, there's 2 things that can happen. One, it could send you right back into using, and 2, you're going to be substance-free but miserable. And living with suffering. Try to show yourself some compassion and understand the difference between fantasy and desire. And if you're still traumatized by it, I would suggest seeing a trauma therapist or some credentialed professional.
