Dallas Bragg explains people-pleasing as a survival strategy from childhood, then teaches you to notice when you say yes while wanting no. He suggests thanking the protective part of yourself for keeping you safe, then gradually making different choices through a journaling exercise.
People pleasing likely developed as a way to stay safe and loved, right? It helped us navigate challenging relationships, probably with parents, and avoid conflict. This pattern protected us when we needed it the most. The growth invitation here is instead of trying to remove this pattern, we can grow through it by practicing awareness. Notice when you're saying yes when you want to say no. No. Pay attention to the physical sensations in your body when you're compromising your boundaries. So example, when your friend asks you to stay out later than you planned, observe the tension in your chest as you consider abandoning your own needs. Honoring your wisdom is thanking this part of yourself for trying to keep you safe and connected. It's trying to help you by making you say no. Acknowledge that it served an important purpose in your past. And that's it. Here's a journal entry. Dear people-pleasing part of me, I understand you're trying to help me stay connected and loved. Thank you for protecting me when I needed it. Taking small steps is important.
