A speaker describes a lifelong pattern of self-loathing: landing a good job but doubting he deserved it, feeling like a cheap knockoff in friendships, convinced his presence short-changes people. Imposter syndrome and relentless self-criticism have shaped how he sees himself.
Yeah. So what I, what I come to realize is every single day growing up, even into my 20s, into my 30s, I had this self-loathing. Yeah. I never thought I was good enough. And I'm sure you hear this all the time, Dallas. I never thought I was good enough. I thought I was worthless. You know, I could get the, I could get a great job with dancing and all of a sudden I'd be like, why have I got that job? Because I'm, I'm shit. So why have I been given it? I felt like if I was, say for example, you know, me and you were really good friends and we were hanging out in London, I'd feel that me just being in your presence was shortchanging you from a friendship. You know, I felt like, I felt like if you ordered a really nice outfit online and all of a sudden, like a Wish version of this outfit turned up, that's how I felt as a person. I never, I never felt good enough. Ever felt good enough.
