After a relapse, you don't lose years of sobriety. The myth that you restart at day one feeds shame and kills motivation. Instead, count the accumulated time clean, treat the slip as data, and use gratitude and self-compassion to break the cycle.
Okay, well, it looks like I'm gonna have to say this again based on some DMs I've been getting lately. For instance, men who say, I'm really trying to get 6 months clean. You know, I don't like the word clean. Trying to get 6 months clean because I relapsed recently, but I had a year and a half before that, and I'm so upset with myself. On and on and on with the shame and the guilt. Because you have been programmed to believe that you have to start time over, that there's some recovery magic wand that erases Your life. If you're almost 6 months abstinent after a relapse, and then you had a year and a half of abstinence before that, this is the way you look at it. In 2 years, I've used 1 time. In 2 years, I've only used 1 time. Before that, I was using actively. I should be patting myself on the back. But what you are focused on is the fact that You relapsed 6 months ago. And for some reason, you think you lost all of your hard work. You worked fucking hard for a year and a half. That's nothing to say is just down the drain because you used once. When you focus on the wins, you're gonna win more. When you focus only on your losses, you lose more. You are not going to get out of this shame loop. You're going to find yourself using again if you focus on the fact that in the past 2 years you used once. You didn't lose any time. You're doing great. What can you learn from the using experience? How can you leverage it? What did you see about yourself that you can change? How are you living in a better and higher way now that you've used? Focus on those things. Pat yourself on the back. Find the gratitude and the appreciation. There is no starting over at day 1. There is no starting over at day one. There is no starting over at day one.
