Dallas Bragg explains why people relapse: a "head why" (losing your job, your partner) rarely sticks, but a "heart why" (wanting to love yourself, to stop chemsex) reshapes your identity and lasts. Which one drives you?
All right, one of the top 5 questions I receive: why can't I stop relapsing? Most of the time, the answer lies in the why— why you came to me and why you want to stop. There's the why that comes from the head, and then there's the why that comes from the heart. The head why is the logical why, the why that was born from circumstance. I lost my job, I lost my partner, I finally slammed, I wrecked my car. They've decided to stop to change the circumstance. They feel they have to stop logically. Often that is not enough for sustainable recovery. The heart why is internal. It's a deep longing, a misalignment with the true self. It's a calling within that says, I'm not this person. I'm not someone who engages in chemsex anymore. I love myself too much. I am now yearning for a new identity. I know all the circumstances will change as a result of my change in identity. So where are you? Do you have a head why or a heart why? Tell me in the comments.
