Dallas Bragg works with gay men in recovery from crystal meth addiction who've learned to fear pleasure itself, believing good feelings mean relapse is coming. Chemsex once felt like freedom from homophobia and shame, but reclaiming joy without that fear is what makes recovery actually stick.
So here's what I see over and over again in my work with gay men recovering from chemsex addiction. We're so conditioned to associate pleasure with shame that we've forgotten how to experience joy without waiting for the other shoe to drop. Crystal and chemsex gave us permission to feel good, to feel sexual, to be free, to be ourselves in ways that society, our families, and our own internalized homophobia never allowed. But that permission came with a price tag. So now in recovery, we're terrified of feeling good. We've created an equation: pleasure equals danger equals relapse. We can't be joyful. We're denying ourselves joy. And that does not keep you sober. It keeps you suffering.
