The Weight We Carry: Ricardo Lockette on Loss and Healing

The Super Bowl becomes everything. There is so much noise.

You have 3 hours to tell everybody what you know about this game.

The game is everywhere. Ricardo Lockett.

Yeah, man. Yeah, long time coming.

How about it? Like, one, you look great. You too, man. Yeah, I like your new Good. You're the only one. My wife looked at me when I came home. It was yesterday I got this haircut. She's like, what are you doing?

No, it's cool, man. It's just different because she probably is not used to seeing you that way.

Yeah, right. Yeah, right.

But once it settles in, she's going to love it.

So, okay, it's been, um, years since we really spent some time. We've seen each other over the years, but you were an instrumental player in the Seattle Seahawks, um, in the Super Bowl runs, and not only did you perform at the highest level, but you also were part of somebody, or you're part of building the culture that was really special there. I don't know if you know how much space you actually took up just by your presence and your charisma and your passion. And, you know, the way you handled yourself was really important. So maybe, maybe just take a moment. You're the, you're the only person that I know that literally broke their neck playing the sport.

Mm-hmm.

So just bring us up to speed. It's probably one of the hardest things that you've ever done in your life is coming back from that and working through that.

Second hardest. The first hardest was losing the Super Bowl. That was the worst. But second—

That was harder than breaking your neck?

Yeah, breaking my neck wasn't that bad because I was asleep. And then I woke up and I was better. But living through the thought process of, could I have done something better to catch the ball? Could I have ran a better route? That's more so of a thought process that goes in and out of my mind. But if I, you know, getting blindsided, you know, you know, things happen. You know, it's kind of like having an accident in your favorite car and then eventually get over that car because you're thankful to be alive. And then you start to think about things that are better. But if you had that accident and a family member had passed, it would be a lot harder to get over that because of the mistake that you made and the agony that it caused everyone else.

Oh, man. Okay. So what we're talking about, for folks that might not be familiar, is that the play—

Yeah.

—that ended our second Super Bowl was a throw to you. Right. And what you just said is that you feel you probably wrestle deeply with, like, you let people down, something you did that you caused it to— that— is that what I'm hearing you say?

Uh, I just feel like I could have done more. I don't blame anybody else. I don't blame the person blocking. I don't blame the person throwing. I don't blame the person calling the play. I don't blame the person that hired the person that called the play. Um, I just feel like if it didn't go satisfactory there's something I could have done better. And I just wrestle with different thoughts of what I could have done better.

Yeah. And like, how— what an interesting paradox that we're in right now that here you are, you've healed. Yeah. You've worked through it. And then here we are 10 or 12 years later and they're playing that play a lot. And so you're seeing one of the toughest things that you've ever been through. When you watch it, what is it like for you? It's okay.

You just have to keep pushing.

What's the emotion that you're with?

Uh, just want to do it again. I just wish I could do it again. I wish I had a second opportunity. I wish, um, I just wish we would have got it done. It's probably the worst day of my life. That night I cried the entire night. I'm not a cryer at all. I look at myself as a warrior. I want to say I cried maybe 7 to 9 months after that, just randomly, not, you know, boo-hooing, but just maybe walking through the mall and maybe tears will fall down my eye and I just wipe them. Sometimes just dropping my daughter off at school, I think about it just by seeing the football field, you know, and at the school. So I hope— I know everything will go well. I'm excited for the guys, for the opportunity. But I hope they make the best of the opportunity because it could be the best day or the worst day of your life. So it's a great opportunity. You just have to make the most of your opportunity.

Yeah, I mean, there's, there's, there's nothing I or anybody can say to take any of that pain away. But I will reframe one thing for you. Most people, I mean, most people never know what they're capable of because they're afraid to step into public scrutiny. So they hide, they play it safe and small. And you haven't done that in your life?

No, I haven't had the ability to.

I haven't had the option. No, no, you had the option. You could, you could have done all types of wild things to compromise your talent. You could have done all types.

Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.

But you stepped into the limelight to figure out how good you could become, right? And with that becomes, or with that comes mistake making. With that comes heartache, right, and hurt. And right now even you're teaching how to do that, which is feel the emotions. Yeah, put words to them. Yeah, I've got a lot of respect for you. Yeah, but just now you said something that, um, I think framed it really intently for me.

Yeah, I said it, I said it, uh, Talking about the Super Bowl feels like speaking up, speaking on an untimely death. It's almost as if one of your parents died and you're doing an interview and they say, "Hey, how's it feel to be back at the same church your dad was buried at?" Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. "How do you feel today?" And it's like, it's a hurting time. It's something that I had to get over. It's something that was unfortunate for me, but now I have to talk about it in a positive way. Even though I thought I was over it, I thought that the emotions were gone, but I don't know. I don't know how to do the work to get rid of it.

We can talk about that, but what's happening right now is so normal. Yeah. For all of us. Everybody processes grief in their own unique way. Yeah. And the idea that we're supposed to have it all together, the idea that we're not supposed to feel pain, whether it's in this setting or another setting, is so ridiculous and it does such harm for so many of us because like, you've got the warrior part of you down, but also what about the gardener part? What about the person that tills and works with the soil and like nurtures? That part also needs to be taken care of. Yeah. You know? And so look, I think you have done more good in this handful of moments just allowing me and us to feel that trauma is real. Yeah. Yeah. And we call it sport, but it was the most important thing in your life.

100%. 100%. That was— man, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. But however, I am here today and I enjoy raising my kids. My son is an All-American. He plays football. My daughter, she's a sprint captain at Ole Miss. Uh, so the adversity has, has made diamonds. Uh, right now, uh, the adversity is, is hot, is, is, uh, it's uncomfortable, but I use it, uh, to motivate others. But at the same time, it still affects me. That's right. Uh, so I can use my time to, uh, I can volunteer at the church and use my time for something good. However, I'm still tired when I get home, right? So The emotion, I don't know what could I do to be able to talk about this for the next 2 days, the next 4 days. I got a— I have a room full of interviews. They're going to ask me all these things and I've depended on you for so long. And 14 years later, seems like it's a reunion of everything. It's a reunion of the Super Bowl. It's a reunion of my health. It's reunion of my brother or brotherhood. Yeah. And, uh, being emotional in front of my brother. So I'm gonna need you.

I'm with you. And just for the folks that don't know that we've been through a lot together. Mm-hmm. We went through that experience and many other experiences together as, you know, members of the Seattle Seahawks. And when people ask me about that loss, that play, one of the things that I'm mindful of in my response is that the entire organization went through a grieving process. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it took us 3 years to even get close to settling back into something that felt across the organization relatively well. And I think that many of the folks certainly on the field are still working through it. I don't think you're alone. Yeah. But so I think there is a decision to be made. Like, do you want to celebrate the good? Do you want to talk about what's honest and real? And in this world where there's so much fake and there's so much whatever, I would encourage you to bring yourself forward in a way. And I have your back, I'm here for you, da da da da. But bring yourself forward. Like, what else really is there to do? Yeah. Show that, you know, keep pointing to the rings that you have.

Yeah, no, you got to move forward. But my thing is, is I could do this all day, all night in private. I could do it all day, all night, uh, just me and you. Yeah, right. But when I think about tears in my eyes in public, I think about Patriots walking by, I think about the Broncos, I think about— we're in football legacy right now. So I think about all the guys I look up to, all my friends from other teams that we just spoke with. Um, so that's what I think about. Like, it's okay to be vulnerable in front of your family and friends, but strangers is kind of hard for me, especially in football.

There's this narrative that tough guys don't cry. Yeah. I mean, nobody's that tough. Yeah, everybody's got the yin and the yang and the other sides. Like, I'm grateful that you went— this is what's in plain sight right now is that you have the courage to go down deep, to really feel, to allow that to be part of your system. And sometimes when it comes out, It's joy and it's happiness. There's a spark that comes outta your eyes like no one's I've ever seen. Like, boom. And then sometimes same thing happens and it's like, ooh, tears are coming out. Right.

Yeah. Do you think resilience has anything to do with this or is resilience temporary or is resilience your ability to get over a problem in that moment or is resilience your ability to never have that feeling again?

Yeah. What you're talking? No, no, no, no, definitely not to never have the feeling again. Yeah. Resilience is this idea when I get knocked back that I can figure out my way to keep moving forward. That's you. You're like the epitome of resilience. Yeah. You know, like broken heart from that, from, you know, broken neck. Yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. And you point to your children, you know, like that is resilience. Yeah. And so, um, yeah, people say they want to be resilient, but to to develop resilience, you have to go through hard things. For sure. We all want it, but we don't want to go earn it. Yeah. Yeah. And so you've earned the right to say, I can do hard things, man.

Man, people listening, it is, uh, it's not fun, but it's rewarding.

Uh, most probably feel— sorry, you probably feel right now free.

I do. And this is so much better. I feel like just after like kind of letting tears out, I just— I can smile, I can laugh. Like the entire time when I was talking to you, I was holding back, trying to stop from crying the entire time. So every word that I was thinking about, it was coming out, was going to have trembles in it and a lot of emotions in it. And I guess it showed on TV that getting the emotions out is normal and it also helps.

It is part of the process and we're all on it in different paths. And I cut you off. Because I just wanted to highlight that piece. Do you remember what I cut you off from?

No, but I can tell you, so the second hardest day, we was speaking on resilience. The reason I was talking about that was the day I broke my neck. And after we lost the Super Bowl, we came back, we went to Hawaii and we talked about it. Russ, a couple of us was on the top of a hill, mountain actually in Hawaii. And if you can imagine all of the Seahawks special teams, offense, defense on the top of a mountain in Hawaii. So high, you, uh, we can't see, uh, down to the bottom because of the clouds. And we're interlocked hands and we're just talking about anything you want to get off your chest. So we got over all of that. We talked about it. That felt good. All the guys cried, yelled, and screamed. It was for at that point for us to throw off the, uh, emotions and the memories of that game. We were supposed to throw it off the mountain that day. And finish the season. And we were close to finishing the season when I broke my neck against the Cowboys. That was actually my daughter's birthday, November 1st, 2016. I'll never forget it. And I was laying on the field looking up at the scoreboard, and I couldn't feel my hands. I couldn't move my legs. I couldn't feel anything. I could— I could— tears started to roll down my eyes then because I thought I was going to die. And I asked God on Cowboys Field to please allow me to get up and walk again so that I can hold my children, so that I could throw the ball with my kids, so that I can hug my mom, so that I could make a difference in people's lives. And, uh, and if he gave me the opportunity to get up, that I would definitely make a difference on a day-to-day basis in everyone's life that I came in contact with. So, um, that was probably the second hardest day of my life, uh, after losing the Super Bowl and knowing that my career could possibly end like that, not actually getting a chance to get back. So it's a pleasure to be here going through all those things and the depression and all different things, which, you know, it's, you know, you get through it. But I think if we pull it off this Sunday, I think I'll be fine. I think the entire 2014 team will be fine.

We'll cry together.

Yeah, we'll be fine. We'll be fine, man.

We'll cry together. Happy tears. Yeah, that's right.

Happy tears for sure. For sure.

I want to celebrate one thing, is that my son's on the sidelines. Mm-hmm. Okay? And you and I had a good conversation at some point during the week. And I was telling you that my son likes to dig for worms. He was like 6 years old or something. And you came up to me when the team was warming up. You were like, where's your son? Right. I said, the one sitting down on the sidelines. Uh-huh. You ran over to him like a giant. Okay. Cleats on, pads on, helmet on. You ran over and he looked up at you and he thought that his dad talked about him. Yeah. And you made it the heroes, you know, that you are for so many kids. You made it special for him. Yeah. So much so that you deepened my relationship with my son in a way that I could never thank you for it. Like, for sure. For sure.

I think, and I think that's what it takes. Not that I was doing that on purpose. It was— that's actually my love and appreciation for you. So, uh, anyone connected to you gets that same appreciation. So if you tell me your son is there, then boom, I'm going to treat him like my brother, like my son, like my— any— my family member, you know. If that's your wife and she needs to park, then I move my car and she parks. Yeah, that's how— that's how it works. So, you know, men, you know, those type of men, that's who we are. So, uh, yeah, seeing him I think as far as kids, your dad tell you, this is how you brush your hair, this is how you brush your teeth, this is how you're supposed to tie your shoes. So it's like, oh, Dad tells me this, he tells me all these different things. But sometimes kids need to hear it from someone else. That's right. And once they hear that, they're like, wow, maybe Dad was right. Dad does talk about me. Wow, this is so cool. It was a moment now. Yeah, I love the opportunity to do that. And I think if everyone had an opportunity to do that for someone else, I think the world would be a better place if everyone thought about what good could I do for anyone at any time. If you had that outcome instead of thinking, uh, what could I be, what could I become, you could get more with— you get— you can get further in life with 5 good people than you could by yourself, full stop. Yeah, so, so let's, let's get back to building the community. Let's get back to, uh, in-person talking. Social media is more like, oh, send me an email, send me a message, or I liked your picture, I saw your video, or this, this, and that. But we don't typically, you know, see each other in person in 2026. So we got to get back to the basics, communications. Yeah, that's right. Basic love.

And we need modern leaders. Modern leaders show us how to work with emotions. Yeah. Thank you for being a modern leader today, and thank you for being a modern leader in so many ways. For sure. Like, you are doing that. This show is called The Game Inside the Games. You, you just unpacked the real game inside the games, which is the emotions. Yeah. Of getting up on the edge. Yeah. Yeah. Can you go back to that play right before the play was called?

Before the play is called. So Jermaine, he, he bobbles an amazing catch and ends up coming down with it. And then I want to say it was first down. Maybe 40-something seconds left. And people always say, okay, like, here we go, you know, how's this gonna go? So now we're waiting, boom, we're thinking we're going to win the game. Okay, let's— now we're just waiting on the call to come in. So then the call comes in, Russ looks at me and we go stack, we go double stack, something something, I can't remember the play, but I knew what it was. And then it was like reverse, it was like double stack opposite. So that means that the person in the front goes in the back, the person in the back goes in the front, opposite, right? So that tells me that, hmm, I'm not blocking this time. I'm about to catch the ball. And this is the Super Bowl. And it's just extreme emotions. But I had to calm myself. I had to calm myself.

So that emotion at that moment was excitement, or what was it? What was that emotion? Was it overwhelmed? Was it like—

It's more like, it's ready. It's not overwhelmed. I would say it's probably like, I could imagine SEAL Team 6 getting the call saying, "Hey, tonight is tonight." And then boom, and they're packing their bags, loading up. It's kind of that. So it's like kind of strict, you know, getting my gloves, tightening my gloves, listening to the play, being briefed before I go out to my mark. And then once I went out, I had no doubt that we were gonna get it done. Yeah, that was a pretty tough day, man. I was leaving the huddle thinking, I'm either gonna be a Super Bowl MVP or this could possibly be horrible.

Oh, you had the awareness.

Well, yeah, yeah.

That you were on the danger line, if you will.

Yeah, I always know. Yeah, so when you know, when your number is called, you know you're either gonna fulfill your obligation or they're gonna look at you as if we called the wrong person or the wrong play. Yeah, right. So it's either good or bad. And for me, I understood that, you know, so.

Were you on the same team with Brandon? Browner? Browner. Yeah. Yeah, we're all on that same game.

Brandon Browner was the one that knew the play. And I blame him because he probably told him. 100%. Yeah, yeah. He knew exactly. Because we never showed that play. He's guarded that so many times. No, we've only ran it one time. Only one time? Only one time.

I don't think people recognize how significant of a fact this is. Right, yeah.

One play. We ran that one time. And it may have been preseason or it may have been early. So it wasn't even a significant game. I think we need to show it.

Yeah, it wasn't even a significant game. Yeah, right, it was just— but, but the one person that had seen it and practiced it a lot, that defended it in practice a lot, just happened to be across from you, directly in front of me.

Well, he was in, he was in front of Jermaine.

Here's Jermaine. Yeah, right. So, but he told the young kid, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, this is where you got to go crash around.

He told Jermaine, he said, drive hard, I'm gonna drive, I'm gonna drive on Jermaine, you drive right off my back. Because most of the time and that, they're playing catch. So you got 2 receivers stacked. Right. There's one here, there's one there. So you just wait who's coming out. First guy jams him and the second guy takes the other. But this time they didn't wait for us to come out. They came down.

Brandon came to you because he knew.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So yeah, man, sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. I'm sure Coach Carroll had a hard time. Did you ever speak with him about how— A lot. Yeah, but like, how did he get over it? Like, what are some tools? What are some things? Well, he had more games. I didn't have any more games. You had no more?

No, you had more games.

We had the season that ended with breaking my neck. Yeah, but the next season you have—

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not so much more games. It is like working with the emotion, naming it, feeling it, naming it, feeling it, letting it move. Name it, feel it, let it move. Name it, feel it, let it move longer. Name it, feel it, let it move even longer. And at some point point, like when you get enough reps at anything, you're like, oh, I'm familiar with this, right? Right. And so, um, you know, for me, I think about a little bit like it's a dragon and I need to get to know that dragon, but that dragon also scares me, right? Because that thing's got tails and nails and like, like that dragon scares, but I got to get to know it for sure. And so like exercise with the dragon type of thing is the way I feel about the things that are painful for me that I'm working through. Right. And so the difference about your life and my life in these moments of pain is both of these were extremely public.

Yeah. Yeah. Both. Yeah.

Yeah. And so, yeah, man, there is no magic bullet.

Yeah. So you have to get over it. And the tough part about public situations is that when you're in the grocery store, people tell you about it. When you're in the airport— Cowardly? Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, there's— yeah, however they feel. It depends on their personality. Yeah, people are people. So on the plane, I had to talk about— I end up sitting next to a Patriot, uh, uh, a die-hard Patriot fan, and they don't really understand you.

They just want to say something. Yeah.

And, and people think that sometimes they think tears are weakness, but it's not weak. It's, it's not my weakness. It's is me feeling sad for what I did. It doesn't mean that, oh, he's crying, so I can kind of laugh at him and kind of poke the bear. Yeah, right. No, no, no, no, no, no. Still a warrior. Yeah, but I'm just—

I heard that in your voice.

Right, right, right, right. Don't get that confused. So, um, so it's like the guys, like, they could, like, say— and what made me say that, I was talking to him and I could see in his eyes, uh, happiness in, uh, my pain. And that frustrated me. It didn't make me sad. It didn't make me want to— like, me and you, like, we have a relationship. Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's like giving your brother a hug and you just break down, right? Yeah, traumatic situation. But him, he's a total stranger. And yeah, it— two totally different reactions. I just started watching my movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not that. This is not that. No, man.

Oh my God. It's like, oh yeah, so that must have really sucked. Yeah, right.

It's like, what are you saying to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How am I supposed to answer this? Yeah. So I appreciate you.

Oh, ditto. Like, you taught me a lot. You helped my son, you know, like the whole thing. And it doesn't end because time. Nope. You keep working it through. We get better every day. 100%. Yeah. I got to catch up with the guys at the championship game and You were not there?

Uh, I got, I got there late. So you did come? Yeah, yeah, I was in town. Yeah, I was there. But, um, but so one of my friends—

oh wait, you were at the dinner the night before with the boys? Okay.

Yeah, so my, one of my friends couldn't come in the booth, so I didn't want to leave them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't get to see you, so I was asking about you.

Yeah, no, it'd have been good. It would have been good.

All right, so, so You're removed from it for 14 years. You've had the highs of the highs, the lows of the lows. This is the game inside the games. If you could speak truth to some of the young guys playing the game, the Super Bowl, if you could speak some truth into them right now, what would you want them to hear from you? What would you want them to understand? And this is a moment for folks that have never gotten near pro sport to be like, how does somebody like Ricardo Lockett think about approaching the Super Bowl?

Um, so approaching the Super Bowl, you approach it as if it's a regular game. Uh, you have to make everything as normal as possible. Uh, when we were there, we had a schedule. I knew exactly what we're gonna do at this time and that time and that time at that time. So no matter who we played on Sunday, every day was the same because we have a game around this time, we have practice around this time, we have film around this time. So everything that's that you did to get you here, don't change one thing. Don't say, "Oh, it's the Super Bowl. Now I have to do this." Or, "Now I should do this because this is a bigger game." Everything that you've done is more than enough to win the game. And the team that will be the most successful is the one that settles in earliest. 'Cause neither one of the teams, you know, are lacking much. So both are professionals, both have professional coaches, both have professional trainers. So what you're going to have to do is who's going to make the most mistakes. That's what it's going to come down to. It's going to come down to a game of perfection in inches. So the sooner you can settle in, calm your mind, relax your mind, reset each breath— excuse me, each play reset, each play reset. Before you know it, it'll be fourth quarter and you'll be up by 30.

Coming straight from somebody who lived it. For sure.

For sure. Simple as that. And I think that kept us in the game and got us back in the game. And I think due to the Patriots' good research and Brandon Browner's memory, they just made a great play at the end of the game. Yeah. But, you know, I think we— I don't think about, oh, you played a horrible game. You know, this is a special game.

You got to be extraordinary to be on the field at that moment and be that tight of a game. Like, both teams were extraordinary. For sure. Yeah, I love it. I wish you had a chance to kind of run that cross one more time. That'd be—

well, I wish I could. Yeah, everyone involved wish we could do it again.

100%. Yeah, no doubt. Yeah.

And, uh, and Coach told me, he said if we had a chance to do it again, I'd do it again. I'll call the same play. Yeah.

I mean, you're a big body. Yeah. You're a physical force to be able to do that. Like, yeah, yeah, that's cool for Coach. Yeah, yeah. Listen, man, um, Who knows why, why we go through the experiences we go through, but your presence and your kindness and your honesty are all the marks of modern leadership. And, um, I'm stoked to see you. Yeah, man. Yeah, we have a special bond.

It's just the beginning. We're gonna, we're gonna have this bond for the rest of our lives, and we're gonna continue to get better and better for the rest of our lives. So we're gonna continue to meet at extraordinary meeting events and yeah, galas and conferences and this, this, and that. Who knows?

Who knows? Let's find some extraordinary moments as well. Mm. All right, Ricardo. I love it.

I love you, man. Love you too, man. It's a pleasure, Mike. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, man. Thank you. We wouldn't be a Seahawk— there wouldn't be a Super Bowl team without Mike. I can promise you that. You can ask Pete Carroll. You can ask Marshawn. You can ask Doug Baldwin. You can ask Russell Wilson for sure. You can ask Tavaris, oh, rest in peace, Tavaris Jackson. A lot of, yeah. So it's, Mike was the brain behind the Seahawks. He was the confidence behind LOB. He was the motivation behind Ricardo Lockett. And I'm thankful to be here to speak with him. And he's probably the only person in here that could probably get that emotion that you saw out of me earlier. But don't ever forget, always, always a Seahawk, always rock it. Go Hawks! Yeah, baby. Thank you. Come here. Good job. All right.

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