12 Things Millionaires Don't Want You To Know

I just gotta ask you something. How the did you get in this office? Cheers.

Cheers to this one. We had to get the wine out.

This one.

All right, so we are talking about 10 things. I mean, we'll see if we get to 10 after this. We'll probably get there. We're afraid to tell each other. I honestly, in the world, I'm. Yeah, I kind of wanted to block that part. You go first.

10 things. Okay. You know what's so funny? We were sitting here, we have so many great topics we want to share. And that one, you wrote that down. 10 things you're afraid to share. And soon as you said it, like I read, I was like, oh, I love this topic. Love this topic. When I saw that one, I got a stomachache. And I'm like, okay, we gotta do that one. Like that uncomfortable feeling that is usually you wanna run from, that's usually the thing you should be doing.

Yeah.

Right. So I think something like this, I'm just delaying before I share my first one is. But it gives, I think it gives the world permission to realize that we're all so flawed, but we still can do amazing things.

Yeah.

I'm going to start off. I think I'm going to get deeper as I go. But one of them that most people know is I was broke 10 years ago. That's 10 years ago.

You've been an entrepreneur for 30 years.

So 10 years ago, when I say I was broke, meaning I owned a lot of real estate.

Yeah.

And I had a lot of monthly payments on those real estate and that real estate. And I made some bad business decisions, hired some wrong people. All I take full responsibility for it. But when you said before, we had a previous interview that we did about starting over is I felt like I was starting over 10 years ago. I had a 2 year old and I had one baby on the way and all my cash was gone. All of it. And I had real estate in a lot of different places and bills. So it was beyond broke. I remember being broke when I had no money and I didn't own anything.

Yeah, right.

So broke was like, I'm broke.

Nothing to gain, nothing to lose.

Nothing to lose.

Right.

Like if I didn't, I had no bills to pay, but I had nothing to get me ahead. That felt horrible. What felt worse 10 years ago was I thought I was going to have to file bankruptcy and I couldn't afford the payments. And I was, I was like my. I was waiting for my whole family. Like, I knew it. Like, Mr. Big Shot. You went after it. Now look at you. And I was in a, at the time, I was in maybe a million dollar house that I had a lot of equity and I sold the house. I sold so many things I had. I moved into a tiny little like fourteen hundred dollar a month house, rented house. And I was, I hid it from the world because I had made a lot of money by then. I was already on tv, I already had an infomercial, I already had a product. And I'm the guy going to tell the world how to be successful.

Yeah.

And I'm living off of now. I took the, I sold my house. I took that extra money, put it in the bank and I was using that off to live, to live off of. While I was writing my next book, I wouldn't let any of my friends come to my house. I say friends. I moved out here to Phoenix, so I didn't have childhood friends. I had new business friends. I remember I went on a family fishing trip with one of them and he's like, I'll drop you off your house. I'm like, you know, just drop me off at this, my family's gonna meet me at this restaurant. Like, I, I maneuvered a lot. I didn't even tell a lot of my team. Mike, you were with me at the time. I didn't even tell my team that I was using credit cards to pay their salaries, like down to nothing. And I was embarrassed and regretful and it was the greatest. All of that was the greatest experience of my life. You know, I, I didn't have to file bankruptcy and I, I found a way. I used credit cards and ju money and home equity lines of credit and sold my house and, and just maneuvered all this stuff and wrote a book and came out. So I don't want to give the story, but I, I'm. That was embarrassing to tell the world. Like I, I told people I was struggling 10 years ago.

Yeah.

But I was down to nothing. Like nothing. Zero.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Oh, we're going.

Yeah.

You want to know what I'm afraid to tell you? I'm actually afraid to tell you.

Yeah.

Like I, I'm at a place that I don't know if I really want to get bigger. You know, Like I, I'm not afraid of success, but like, I'm really comfortable where I'm at. And I think that with more, like, with more comes more criticism, more eyes, and I just, I don't know, I just, I love where I'm at and I don't want to grow. And that's the first time I've ever felt that way in my life.

Wow.

Isn't that weird?

I don't think it's weird, you know, so I would understand. Especially because you're around now, especially more than ever. Your peers change. So you're around high achieving entrepreneurs like, go, go, go, go, go. But just if you don't mind me sharing something, I'm not trying to give you a lesson. This is about just sharing. But maybe this will resonate with people. Listening is. I had someone tell me once, there's three types of entrepreneurs. One is an entrepreneur that wants to work under. I consider these three guys right here working with us, filming us and recording us. Entrepreneurs. They just work under my umbrella. These guys come up with their own decisions. They run their department. He tells me what to do. If we're doing a vlog. Mike tells me to, like, I want my whole team to be entrepreneurs. But they're protected. Right. And a lot of them do their own thing, you know, so then there's. Second there's a lifestyle entrepreneur, and that's my buddy Dean Jackson. Dean Jackson wants the net 50 grand a month. And that's. He doesn't want to make a penny more because of 50 grand a month. Allows him to golf like 20 times a month.

I think I'm a dean.

Yeah. And he, like, he dresses the way he wants to dress. He does the thing like, he just has this lifestyle and it costs him $50,000 a month. He said his dream was to live like an artist with a trust fund that paid him 50 grand a month. Right. So he does just enough to get there. And he's like the happiest guy in the world. And I think a lot of people, my team members, are happy he's happy. And also, I know I'm the obsessive one. My buddy Tony, like, Brendan, like a lot of those guys, it's not. It's not about a number. It's about the next hill.

Yep. Right.

Like, I climb that mountain, it's like, oh, this was great. I take about 14 seconds. Like, maybe 14 seconds is like being nice. And then I look for the next mountain. Yeah, Right. It doesn't. It's just the way I'm. So I think, I think that one, I. I could see how you'd hesitate. Yeah. But I also just like, you have to do what's right for you. And how blessed is that? You can get to a place where you can be with your daughter, you be with your husband, like, and Maybe that's where you are for 10 years. You have a couple of kids and then 10 years, then you go, okay, time for the next mountain.

Yeah. It's just funny because I just feel like people are always like, what's next? And it's like, I don't know, maybe nothing. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, honestly, my goal for this year, and I'm not afraid to say this, but my goal for this year was to make enough so that I could shut down any day of the week. Like, I never had to show up for anything. That was my goal. And it really wasn't that much. Like, I just wanted to. Like, if any day I woke up and I was like, I'm done. I can be done. That's it.

That's a really good goal. Yeah, I don't think that's. I don't think there's anything wrong with that one, but I could see.

Yeah. All right. Cheers to you. Let's go.

Yeah. Cheers. That's my turn. We didn't plan these in advance, just so you guys know. This wasn't. Like, we made a list of 10. I'm just like, oh, we. Cheers. I have to take a sip now. I would say that it sounds like a really big one, but I'm still that insecure kid. Like, I was really small in school, and we didn't have money, and we moved a lot, so always trying to make new friends. Always small, always insecure, and we didn't have money. And I've never shaken the fact that. That I'm. I've never said this out loud. I'm like, I'm blessed. The house I'm in, the life I have, I am not just successful. I'm really smart with my money. I have lots of money. Right. I don't mean that, but I have a fear of going broke. I know it's not like a normal fear. Like, I could. Like, I would have to. Like, Especially over the last 10 years now when I say I was broke 10 years ago, I built all the experience. I had all these assets. I had a great company. Just the cash was gone. Yeah, right. The cash was gone, and I had to sell everything just to keep the doors open.

Yeah, right.

Mike, who's sitting here right now, worked for me back then. Did you know or kind of know? Not really. Yeah. Not the specifics. He said, like, I think my team knew, but I was, like, not telling anybody, but I had all. But I have an innate, like, complete.

Does that drive you? Is that what drives you?

I Think so. It's one of the drivers I have. And I don't know if it's healthy, but I've never gotten rid of it. Like, I'm. I have a feeling that I'm going to make a mistake and. And that goes along with the fear of being broke. I had a fear for, like, I had a fear for a long time that people would figure out I'm not that smart. Like, I. Maybe that's that childhood thing of feeling because I had dyslexia and couldn't read.

But I think everyone feels like an imposter.

Yeah.

It's like you were waiting for somebody to say, like, I found you. Like, you're not supposed to be here. This isn't yours.

Oh, yeah. Why are you in this room?

Yeah.

So I have to tell you. I'll take. Can I tell you a quick story that fit right into this? So about. Oh, my God, 20 years ago. I know it sounds crazy, but even before your time, do you remember that there was a band, Motley Crue?

Yeah.

And Tommy Lee was a crazy drummer. Yeah. Like they're retro locked down. That was.

He was married to Pamela Anderson.

So Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee are married. And this is 20 years ago. I started a website that was like. I don't know, it's like memes of today. It's like news that they wouldn't play. That was funny or horrific or whatever. It was all this crazy stuff. So I partnered with somebody, we went and bought news footage that they wouldn't play on tv and we created a website. One of the first pay per view websites that ever existed. Ever. In history. Yes. I've tried a lot of things. Right. Never shared that either. And Tommy Lee signs up for it and he's like, dude, this is amazing. And I'm like, Tommy Lee signed up for my $19 a month website. So I'm like, being the entrepreneur, you would have done the same thing. I'm like, hey, guys. Hey, Tommy. This is awesome. Glad you're here. But what you don't realize is we have one of the first portals. This is over 20 years ago. 25 years ago, I said, if you and Pamela created a pay per view website. We're not pornographic, just like behind the scenes. What do you do before you get dressed, before you go on stage? Like, if ever that they were the hottest couple in the whole world, imagine like the. The new Marilyn Monroe. Kind of like the Baywatch girl and the bad boy rocker. If they had a behind the scenes before. This was before reality tv. Right. So I'm going to make this story as short as possible. Long story short, he's like, oh, that would be badass. You should tell my attorney. And he hooks me up with his attorney, David Rudick. I tell. I get on the phone with this guy. I'm a nervous. I'm in my collision shop in Marlboro, New York, a town of 6,000 people. I'm in my collision shop on the phone with David Ruddick, who's, like, one of the top attorneys in all of Hollywood. He invites me out. I literally fly out there shaking. I sit in this room with David Rudick, I tell him the whole thing. And I don't pretend to be anybody. I'm not. Like, I have a little collision shot, but I'm always hustling. He goes, let's do it. Dinner tonight. Me, you, Pamela, and Tommy. We're doing this. We're gonna celebrate. We're doing this deal. I said, you could have a million people paying you $19 a month. And I laid out this whole, whole thing. He loves it. I go home, I'm in this hotel. I'm like, cheers. And I'm like, oh, my God, I made it. The little me is, like, proud, right? And he calls me back. He goes, hey, before we go to dinner tonight, their manager stopped by. He wants to just talk to you real quick. I'm like, okay. He goes, yeah, come on down. So I go back to David Rudick's office. It's on Sunset Boulevard. It's overlooking the Strip. No exaggeration. Like, I'm fire, but nervous. I walk in, and I walk in like, hey. And this guy says to me, so I just gotta ask you something. I'm gonna just say it. Like, he said, how the fuck did you get in this office? And I was like, I thought he was joking. I'm like, how did I get here? He's like, no, how did you get in here? I did a quick background check. What are you worth, a million dollars? You got your little collision shop, and you think you're gonna do business with Tommy and Pamela? You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna get on your plane and you're gonna go back home. Because why the hell would I do this with you? And literally, I started shaking. Like, all my fears, this guy brought to the surface. And he didn't just let me off the hook. Like, he, like, nailed the coffin. Yeah. Like, you know that saying. Like, how do you get the biggest building in town? Like, you either build the big work on yours or burn Everybody's done. He didn't just knock mine down. He was, like, stomping on me. And David was like, hey, hey, hey. Like, the attorney was such a great guy. He was trying to stop him, and he just berated me. And I went home with my tail between my legs. And that's a whole nother story. I'm writing about that in my new book right now. But it brought back all that fear. And I think, as I even revisit that story, like, I've never. That's never left me. I'd love to say in all my personal growth, like, I think. I think I'm supposed to say, I. That was the way I was. But, like, it's still there. I'm afraid of going broke, and I'm afraid of somebody saying, hey, how Dean? How Dean Do a billion dollars of sales. He's not that smart. Like, we figured you out. Go back home. Go back to Marvel and work in your collision shop. I still have dreams that I'm working in my collision shop. I really do. Weird. Anyway, that's. I never shared that, so.

I love that. Well, and I think that. I don't know, I just feel like the more you level up, the more that you're supposed to be, like, that was then, this is now. But I think there are certain things, words, phrases, people in your life that it's, like, on repeat.

Yeah.

You know, I mean. Okay, I'm afraid to tell you that I read all the negative comments. Like, I. You know, when they say, like, don't. Just don't go there. I, like, consume it, and I have done it from a place of unhealthiness, and I feel like I'm transitioning to a place of healthy and taking true feedback and letting go of criticism. But I think as a female, I don't know, a single woman who, if they knew the Internet was talking about them, they wouldn't pursue what that was.

Yeah. You know, I don't think that's abnormal as a guy. I read mine.

Do you? I. I hate people that say that they don't, because I don't believe it.

I think they're lying.

I think they're lying, too.

And. And here's the thing. There's. There's always little bits of truth in some of them.

Yeah.

And some of them are just ruthless haters that are just mean. Like, there's mean stuff saying, like, especially with my fiance, Lisa, there's stuff that's just written. It's mean.

Yeah. Right.

Because she's. She's 33. But she looks 22, especially on camera, for some reason in real life, she looks exactly her age and beautiful. On camera, she looks young. And people are just like, it's not like, hey, it's just there's no other thing. But, Ruth, like you said, you said you had a feel like we'll criticize your makeup or how you're dressed that day. Like, men don't usually get that. And I'm seeing that when I'm with her. What women are saying, it's bodies look.

The way our skin. I mean, like, you are too much or not enough constantly.

And.

And I read every single thing. And I. It's interesting because, like, it. It can get addicting to me because I'm like, are they going to say something? Are they going to say something? But then I, like, have to check myself, like, where's the power?

Wow.

It's interesting, though. But most people don't admit that they read that stuff. And, like, I think you're a fool if you don't because, like you said, there's some good stuff out of there where it's like perception. But I read everything, all of it.

All right, I'll give you one that never, ever shared. Afraid to share. In2014, 2013 and 2014, my live event business that I was partners with, the live event business. When I say live event business. So my brand, my marketing, my strategy, so people go to a live event, we still do a small portion of them. Not like we did then. People go to a live event and they get. Whether I'm there or not. Some. Some of them I go, some I can't. And if I'm not there, they'll get video training of me, and then they'll get a trainer to give them strategies, and then they'll offer them, say, how to get real estate education. Best education on the planet. But so 2013, just think, you and I talk about the entrepreneurial journey, right? The hero's journey, whatever you want to call it, the failure, the up, the down. I talked about being broke. It's the roller coaster. So picture you're going your whole life as an entrepreneur. You're not starting more. Now you're 30 years in as an entrepreneur, you lost your money twice, and now all of a sudden you want to make an impact on the world and make money. 2013 or 14, my brand breaks $200 million in sales in one year. And I got so scared, I pulled the plug.

What?

And when you were there, you remember that, Mike? I pulled the plug on it because I got nervous. There was so many people representing my voice. So just to be completely quality control. No, I couldn't. It was like I felt like I used to own, like, what's a high level steakhouse? Like a Ruth's Chris or like a high end steakhouse.

Now it's Outback.

Now It's Outback or McDonald's. Right? And doesn't mean that it's crappy. Like it was crappy meat. But there was so many people representing me to do $200 million in a year. That means we were doing 85. Ready for this? 85, Dean. Live events. A week. A week?

Oh, God, I thought you were gonna say a year.

There was 75, 750 people on my brand. And I gave messages, sent videos to the team. But I woke up one morning and I said, what if people are misrepresenting me? Like, I have a heart. You know, me a little bit. I have a heart to serve. I love being successful, but I have a heart to serve over everything else. Like, I want to impact lives and I want to get paid well to do it. I don't. Not cheap. Like. Like, I don't mind charging a lot for what I do, but I want to impact lives. And I just woke up one day and I literally, like, had anxiety over it. Like, what if they're not saying the right thing? What if they're not delivering the right thing? What if they're making promises? What if someone has to pay their mortgage that month and they're going to push sales too hard? And all of a sudden I'd get feedback that week that, like, oh, I went to one of your events, Dean, and this guy told me I'd be a loser unless I bought this. And I got so freaked out that in this is 2014, I pulled the plug on it. I worked my whole life to get to, like, you would think, oh, my God, you're at $200 million a year. Your company, your brand. And I went and talked to my live event partner, who's one of the sweetest guys who cares as much as I do, knows how to run a big company. Like, he knows how to do the processes and the systems. And I said, I want out. And over six months, we turned the whole campaign off. And I shut off the most money I'd ever met made in my life. And it's the reason I wrote Millionaire Success Habits, because I wanted just to give to people. I dumped everything in that book. And I'm not promoting my book. It's heading towards a million Copies right now. I just dumped my life because I just want to give back. I just want to give back. Like, I went in this, like, give, give, give, give, give. And anyway, now I'm in a different space. But, yeah, I turned off everything I ever dreamed of. I thought I hit it, and then I shut it off.

It's not funny. It's like, sometimes I was like, we set rules for ourselves of what is success, when will I be happy, when is enough. And then we hit them, and then it's like, transition, pivot, change. Yeah, always. Okay, here's one I'm not passionate about the subjects that I teach on, so Instagram, Pinterest, email list building. I really don't care about them. I care about what it gets people. So when people talk to me and they're like, you're an Instagram expert. I, like, laugh because I'm like, instagram is an app that has us all addicted and going for dopamine hits. And I really don't care about Instagram, but I do care about the results.

People get with what you give them.

Yeah.

Wow.

Which is probably why I've struggled with selling programs, because Pinterest and Instagram and all that is awesome. But I'm not passionate about that. But I am passionate about the things I teach inside of that. And it reminds me of things you've told me of, like, give people what they think they want, but teach them what they need. But I hate when people tell me, like, you're an expert in these things, because, yeah, I'm really smart at them, but, like, I don't want people to be addicted to their phones. That's like, the opposite.

Yeah.

Isn't that funny?

That's a really good point.

Yeah. So it's, like, hilarious to me because I make my money and all these things. And the thing is, is that my courses are so good. Like, they are so good. And, like, I see people's lives change, but I don't see them changed in, like, oh, I got another thousand followers. That happens. But, like, people are like, I have a story, or, like, I showed my face and I didn't Photoshop it. Things like that. That matters.

Just so you know. You know that my nephew, like, literally is, like, in the photography business. And so this is horrible, but I don't know all the details, but my nephew graduated top of his class, went to college, graduated top of his class. And bioscience. Bio. What's his degree? Oh, my God. One of the hardest.

Biochemistry.

Biochemistry. He could be a rocket scientist. Like, he Went through everything and graduated top of his class. And he got done. He's like, it won't fulfill me. I want to be a wedding photographer because I get to see smiles. I get to see the birth of something new. He went on a mission to South America with his Christian church, and his life changed forever. He gave his life to missions. He gave his life to serving. And he donates, like, 30% of every dollar he makes goes back. Just something snapped. And that's. And he's the happiest guy in the world, but literally, I give him jobs. So I have him come to my yearly events and my live events, and he's like. And all of a sudden, he was saying, jenna and Jenna. I'm like, couldn't be. Couldn't be. And he's like, yeah, my business has doubled because of Jenna. And I'm like, are you talking about Jenna Kutcher? He's like, you don't know her, do you?

Like, what a small world. Isn't it crazy?

So I know the impact you're making, and I know it's mostly women, but not my nephew.

It's so. I know. It's just funny to me, because it's like, what I'm passionate about has to be delivered with the shiny. And I get that as a marketer, the shiny is, the more followers. But when I tell people, like, no, I would love for you to log off of Instagram for the weekend. That's what I would teach you to do. It's just different.

All right, So I would say that was a really good one, because it made me think I don't like teaching real estate anymore.

Yeah. Why won't you pull the plug?

Because my real estate courses are the best that exist, and there's a lot of crap out there, probably the same way you feel. It's like, if. And if. If mine's not available, if my training's not available, they might get sucked into something else that doesn't serve them. And when I say I don't like teaching, it's not that I don't like real estate. I still do real estate, but I'm not in the trenches doing it anymore. I pay people to do it.

Yes.

So it's the reason I partnered with a lot of people, too. But I'm not super passionate because I don't want to. I don't want to seem fake. And the truth is, when I teach, I go, hey, I'm not personally doing this anymore. But I still know that if people follow what I do, I can Help them. And I don't know if someone else is going to care like I care because I've been in it for so long. Right. And I'll just kind of expand that. The truth is the first something that I'd be scared to tell you is probably the first five years that I taught on infomercials, I didn't really give a crap about other people as much as I do now. Like, here's what I thought. So when I say that, that seems like I just wanted to sell crap. No. I created something amazing. And then I thought to myself, I created this. It's amazing. If you don't want to use it, screw you. Give me my money. If you follow it, it works. If you don't, c' est la vie. Your choice. And that's how I felt.

Yeah.

And it was all about, create something good, sell the hell out of it. It's their choice.

Yeah.

And I didn't care. Like I care now. Now I'm obsessed. I want every. It's. You feel the same way. It's like, what do you mean you didn't use it? I will. Like you just did with Knowledge Business blueprint. You followed people and made. I'm live in Facebook group every other day. I'm sending emails, I write long copy. I'm like, I just did a training. I don't know if you said that. The silent minority, the ones that are sitting on the sidelines, we had hundreds and hundreds of comments like, that's me, that's me. Like, now I'm obsessed with getting everyone engaged. But I wasn't and I'm not sure I cared.

Hmm, that's good. I think a lot of people start because of the results, but not results for others, but results for themselves. Mine is that I am imperfectly leading women, but I struggle with relationships with women. I think it's really frickin hard to make friends as a woman these days, especially at like the level that we're at. So I think that we're just gonna keep going.

Yeah, for sure. Let's just keep going.

We're rolling. Rolling with the homies.

And plus your wine is gone.

I know. No, but I think making friendships as a woman these days is like impossible.

So why tell me? So I can. Really?

Well, one, I just assume that people won't understand me. So I'm faced with friendships that are either one sided because people follow me and they think they know everything about me. Or two, their life is so different from mine that I trick myself into believing that they couldn't understand my point of view. So I have better relationships with men and I would rather hang out with businessmen and I'd rather learn from men mentors because I would rather learn strategy and, like, stay in tune with my own emotional feelings and authenticity. But I think, man, like, I could make all the excuses in the world. We moved a year ago, then I got pregnant. We live in Hawaii half the year. You know, I have all these excuses of why female friendships are hard, but they're just fricking hard. I have like a very tight circle and it's like, you know, three college friends, a few high school friends, and maybe two industry friends, and that's it.

All right, so I'll just keep going with that one because it's good. I've lived in Phoenix for over 15 years.

Yeah.

I don't have one friend here. I have one friend. John Langbein is a great guy. And when I say a friend, that means we have coffee every three months. I have one friend from high school that I see three times a year because he lives in New York. And then I have, I have industry friends that are partners because we're so in alignment that it's easy. Like, so I want. That's the benefit side. That, that probably not so good side is like, I. I'm a. The world would think. And I would say the same with you, and maybe you are, but the world would think I'm an extrovert.

Oh, yeah.

I'm an. I'm an introvert extreme. I'm good on camera because it's me to a lens. I'm good on stage because it's me to an audience. But get me at a fundraiser where people want to talk to me and I leave, I hide, I go in the corner. If I bring my kids to a. And now they're old enough I can drop them off. But if you bring. I would bring my daughter to a birthday party, a three year old birthday party. I'm the, like, I can't handle the talk and meeting everybody and ask them what I like. I would be the dad where I was like, he's such a good dad because I'm always playing with the kids. I'm playing with the kids because I don't want to talk to anybody else. And I hide. I hide. I hide at parties. If anybody ever knows me, I'm the guy in the corner. I keep it short. People ask me what I do for a living and I say, I like being a dad. Yeah. I've been here 15 years. I don't have any friends here, so I get that. And no one.

We need an episode on this.

But I have people like you and Brendan and Ethan Willis and Brandon Lewis and Tony Robbins and people that I only see maybe six times a year, but when I do, it's like. It's like the. The My. And not faking it. It's like we're connected for that time, and it's amazing. And that satiates it. Right? That. That's enough.

Yeah. Right.

I don't know.

Small talk kills me. Like, I can't. Like, I actually, like, disengage.

Okay, so can we. Can we digress for one second? Can you tell me what small talk sounds like a woman?

How was your flight today? My flight went up and down, and we landed. How's the weather? It's hot. You were just outside. Don't. Like, if this is not going anywhere, if you are not, like, telling me about, like, your relationship or, like, the child you birthed or something with substance, I'm done. Because if I'm never going to talk to you again, it's not worth my energy. There are so many other things in the world that needs my energy.

So that. Is there a. Is there a. Is there a pattern? Like, is there small talk for women and small talk for men? Oh, well, Drew, because I want to tell you. I want to tell you the small talk. I want to tell you the men's small talk.

Games, football, sports.

Well, especially. I'm not into sports. So if someone says, oh, what about, like, yes, they'll start with sports. I'm like, oh, I don't do sports. So men. And this sounds like I'm bashing men. It's not. I'm just bashing this small talk. But men, it's either sports, what you do for a living. Like, guys. I feel like guys really want to say, like, how many women did you sleep with? And how much money do you make? Like, I feel like. And I have this. Like, I have almost like a chip on my shoulder. I'm waiting for it, and I'm like, not mad. Man's a. Like, I'm just so over it. Over it. Like, and guys will literally say, especially if a guy recognizes me, and he'll be like, so. So what do you do? You write the books? I'm like, ah, you know, I just love being a dad. I coach the little League. And, like, yeah, but what do you do when you're not doing, like, Well, I coach softball, too, and I like being ass. I will never. Like, I wish Someone could. I will not give you what you want. I won't give it to you. I'm not going to tell you. Like, I don't know. And I. And I'm so opposed. Like, I'm so, like, appalled to it that I stay away from it. And I'd much rather be here. Like, I'm. You came. I'm building. Like, I want my kids to be here, too. Like, I'm building a baseball thing and a soccer thing. Like, you know, I don't know. So. Yeah, I'm not the best at that either.

No. Okay.

Well, back to you.

I. Oh, I had a good one. Hold on, I have to think for one second. Crap. I had a really good one. One second. Oh, I know. I hate when people act like my job is a hobby. This probably doesn't happen to you as much. So we'll be in Hawaii.

That would drive me nuts, too.

And people will say, well, what do you do? I'll say, oh, I run one of the top business podcasts on itunes or things like that. But a lot of times people don't quite understand that. So then they'll say, oh, well, what does your husband do? Oh, that.

Oh, you just turned my spirit.

And the best part is that I've married a man who can, like, stand in his truth. And he's like, I stay at home for the kids. Like, my wife retired me. But I mean, it is anytime I say what I do or reference, like, the life that we live, it's never to my benefit. It's always, what did your husband do? Or your husband must have a job that allows you to travel, Things like that. I don't even like to tell people what I do or anything about ourselves because I know that the idea is that it's a hobby. I've been told my job is a hobby.

Wow.

Isn't that funny?

That makes me mad.

Yeah, I know. It makes me really mad. And then I just smile. So now I think I want to introduce myself and just say, I'm the CEO of a multimillion dollar company.

Yes. That's.

People would take me a little more seriously. Hey, yeah.

But wouldn't it. Isn't it more fun, like, messing with people? Yeah. No, seriously, it is more fun to mess with people.

Well, yeah, because it's like, I don't know. I mean, I could tell people, like, I'm a lingerie model. Cause I do.

Yeah.

But, like, they can take that for what it's worth. I mean, I could give anyone anything I do, and they can make Assumptions. But sometimes I just want to get them off the assumption. Train a little faster.

That's a good one.

Last one. Let's end with some good ones. Gosh. On the spot.

Yeah, let's do. I'll do one. It's who I am now. Okay. But there was a point where I thought. And I'd be scared to tell you this or tell the world this is like, I thought I had to dress better and, like, get better suits. And then I got to a point where my success was going good, and I'm like, no, I want to be me. And then there was this complete turn. Like, I wonder if people would accept me. Like, I wear nothing but T shirts. I have 40 of these T shirts. Literally maybe 60 of them. To be like, it's obsessive. I have 20 pairs of Nikes, and I haven't worn a watch in six years. But my fiance bought me this, so I wear this. But, like, I dress down on purpose. I stand back on purpose. I play dumb a little bit on purpose to see how. Especially, like, okay, so we have men and Men and women worlds here. You, I would love for. And maybe you've been in them. Of course you have, because you. You run big business. You know, you run a great business. But to be in a boardroom.

Yeah.

With just 10 guys around a table with all of them in suits and only me with a T shirt and a bracelet my daughter made. That's a dollar. Yeah, right? Like, men posture. More, like, so much, like. And they all want to vomit who they are, what they've done. And, like. And I've. Okay, so I am, like, so turned off. I can't stand it. Like, I'm at this point where, like, when I see a guy with the monster watch that pulled up in his Lambo, and he's got the shirt with the pocket tie, I. I'm just gonna be honest. I fucking judge. Excuse my language. I judge him before he gets in the room. And I do. And the truth is, I've never shared this. I can't wait to eat that guy alive. Like, it's my mission to make him feel bad about himself. And that's. I never said that out loud, but I do, and I don't do it, like, in a bravado type of way. I'm a listener. And you know what I listen for? I listen for his insecurities. And I wait and I wait and I wait. And when the time's right, I poke him right in the insecurity, and I watch him deflate. And then somehow I justify that. That's helping him.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's really terrible. But I just shared something and maybe that was like the little kid got picked on. But like, I try and I don't do it as a game. I don't do it to go brag to anybody. I do it cause I'm like, that person needs a. Like he needs a lesson. And I'm the last guy he thinks is gonna give it to him. I'm the one that's gonna freaking deliver it to him.

Love that. I think, though, we all can. Like, I mean, sometimes I didn't even fly first class until this year. Like, I didn't give myself the permission to like, spend my money in that way. Cause I was like, it doesn't. It doesn't give me more joy to sit in the front now it does. I'm like, give me the front so I can sleep. But I feel like we all do that sometimes where it's like somebody. You size each other up and you're like, why are they here? And then you kind of try to figure that out and nitpick it. I think my last one is just. I am afraid that, like, I don't deserve what I've gotten. Like, even though I've worked my butt off and I feel like nothing has been handed to me, I feel like, what life looks like right now. Sometimes I question, like, should I really have this? Which is crazy. So it's like that permission piece. Like I just asked my mom the other day, I was like, is it bougie if I only commit to flying first class from now on? And she was like, no, you've worked so hard. I don't feel like I'm deserving of comfort or things like that. Because that's not what I came from.

Yeah. But I also. That's why I say that I feel like your humble power. But that's where it comes from. So I think that's a really great feeling to have. Get over it. You worked your butt off. You risked it, right? Like, when what most people don't see is when you quit the secure job, corporate America job, when you quit that job and bought a $300 camera and worked your tail off to get 20 something jobs that first year. Like, this is the rewards of you planting those seeds. Like, you planted those seeds, you didn't know if it was going to rain. You didn't know if they'd sprout. You didn't know if they'd produce fruit. Like, even though you planned you still didn't know it was going to be. And that's what's amazing about the world, about this country. I believe more than any place in the world, it's like, we get to do that, but you have to have the. You take the risk. And where there's risk, there's reward. And you're just going to have to justify that in your head.

Lord help us. Well, I think we spilled the beans.

I think we did. I think that was good. And I think what we need.

More wine.

Yeah, I think one more glass would be good. But you know what? Like, to end this. Like, what does an episode of sharing your 10 things you're scared to tell you tell the world? Like, what does that show? Like, as I'm sitting here, like, when we first thought about it, it gave me a stomachache.

Yeah.

But then I always think. And maybe I should think less of this. I'm always thinking like, well, what is the end user gonna get out of it? And I'm like. Because I'm always. I want to give a lesson, give a lesson, give a lesson. What are you gonna do at the end of this? What lesson are you gonna teach? But as I'm sitting here and as I'm listening to you, I think it's just permission. Like, and I had a breakthrough, literally, while I was listening to you and while I was sharing, I had a breakthrough. It's like, I wish someone would have told me, you don't have to be perfect. Like, you could screw up. You could go broke. You could feel insecure. You could read negative comments. You could feel like you don't deserve it. You could feel like you're not good enough and still be successful and still have a really cool life.

Yeah.

And if that's what we get out of this episode, then we rocked it.

I think so, too. I think the whole thing is to make people feel more enough or less alone. And if one of those things even just tiny bit resonated, I think that the proof is in the pudding that no matter what level you're at, like, new level, new problems, but that is. You keep showing up. You give people permission to do the same. I think hopefully that's what we did.

I hope so.

Beyond that, we're just closer. I feel like we need, like, a handshake or something. I want a friendship bracelet.

Okay, let's do it. I'll have my daughter make a statement.

Thank you. Until next time, friends. That's a wrap.

What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them, and I'll see you there, Sam.