3 Secrets To Boost Your Confidence - How To Be More Confident

Confidence is a key metric to your success. I said before, whatever has gone good in your life, when your confidence is down. And so I said this in Millionaire Success Habits. I'm going to say it again now. Confidence isn't a scale of 1 to 10, right? So I'm using my daughter so many as examples. When your confidence is at a nine, you're screwed. I guess I just sometimes put it bluntly, right? Really, your confidence on a scale of one to ten, I'm a five today. I'm a little off. No, if you're a nine, you are not your best self. If you're a nine, you make decisions that are safe. If you're at a nine with your confidence, you take the abuse. If you're at a nine with a confidence, you let your friends make you feel bad about yourself. If you're a nine at a confidence level, you accept the crappy pay that you receive or a boss treating you in a way you shouldn't be treated, saying, maybe next year I'll try this new business or finally get into real estate or whatever it is you so desire. Lack of confidence is that thing that keeps you still, keeps you stalled. And then what happens is things build on it. Everything seems heavier, like, so did you ever feel an off a day and your wife or your husband or somebody in your life or you booked that you had to go to a party? How do you feel when you're confident? You're having a bad day and it kind of tags your confidence like, ah, this really isn't working. I don't really want to be around people today. I don't really, we got to go to that party. You walk in, you try to hide from people. Your confidence is only off a little bit. So if it can make you feel that way for a party or a crowd, how does that affect you? Your next level of life, your abundance, your joy, your happiness? Right? We live in this place where we sabotage ourselves by robbing our confidence. So here's what's great about these trainings and I want to share this with you. Take what serves you and implement it immediately. Throw the rest away. Take what serves you. Write it down, Implement it in your life as fast as humanly possible. When we're done today, write an email, send a letter, make a call, say no, say yes. Do something today to take your confidence up in the areas that you need it. That's how you get multiples out of the pennies that you pay to be here. Literally, you put it in play and watch this compound your Life, your happiness, lower complexity, bring in money. I made some notes because I don't want to miss anything. So we talk about protecting your confidence. We talk about having the ability to gain confidence. So many things in life rob it from us and we don't know how to get it back. So what I'd like to do today is go over some things that I think can get you to find the confidence that's inside of you. You know, confidence is like enthusiasm. Confidence is like energy. I think when people see someone that's really confident, I'm not talking about an extrovert. I'm talking about the coolest thing is when someone's got quiet confidence, right? Like someone walks in a room and they don't even say anything. Like, who's that? Right? That's you. It's in there. We are not born with confidence. We are not born with extra energy or extra enthusiasm. We get to make it, we get to create it. We are in control of our confidence level. Even if you don't think so, even if you go, no, no, no, Dean, you don't know who I am. I'm shy. I'm the shyest person you know. How crazy is that? I could talk to this camera for three hours. I can go on stage with 15,000 people and love it and feel alive. Everybody gives me their energy back. If you've ever been to any of my live events, you know the energy I have on stage because I'm just taking it from you. But after the event, if there's the after hour party, I'm shy. I have to force myself because I'm an introvert. I have to force myself to go because I love people. But I just. It's just hard for me. But I know I've learned how to gain a quiet confidence, that I can walk in the room, I can walk on stage, I can talk on this camera, I can walk up to somebody, I can say yes, I can say no. And that's not who I was. I was the kid who hid behind my dad's or mom's leg every time we went someplace. I was the guy who quit school. I mean, would skip school on the days you had to stand up and speak in front of everybody. But I found a way to harness energy, harness enthusiasm and gain confidence, especially when I need it the most. Now I want you to make more money. That's just who I am. I'll never apologize for that. Because you make more money, you have the ability to take care of other people in your life. You have the ability to become a better version of yourself. If you could take the stress and worry of bills or get a nutritionist and a natural path and a personal trainer and eat organic food. Healthier. So many relationships. What they say, 80% of divorce. Something had to do with finances. Are you kidding me? If you can take money out of the way, that goes away. You can focus on the relationship more. Right? So I will never apologize for wanting you to make more money. And even. Even if I'm talking about confidence today, subconsciously, that helps you make more money, but it helps you in all areas of your life. You're going to go talk to your kids about something that's bugging you. Confidence will help that fix a relationship. Confidence. Walk in the gym, do it with pride. Confidence. Make more money. Confidence. So how do we start? Well, there's a lot of different ways. And I thought about this today like I always do. I spend about an hour really going deep on how I'm going to teach you. What way can I deliver this in a way that sticks? So I want you to do something that you probably have done with me in the past, but I'm going to do it again, and that is looking backwards. So right now, I hope you have a pen or the ability to write down or at least think about. And this is kind of a positive focus on accomplishments. You see, we have this crazy brain that loves to remind us of the things we did wrong. It loves to remind us, even subconsciously, of our failures. Also loves to remind us of our missed opportunities. Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night? Or, you know, you're at a dentist and they're working on your teeth, you got nothing to do but think, and all of a sudden your brain starts. I mean, listen, sometimes you're in a positive place. I get that. But when you're thinking about moving forward, or if you're in a place where you feel a little down or your confidence is a little low, do you ever notice that your brain has this great way of reminding you the things that went wrong? Or they're reminding you why you missed out on this opportunity or how you screwed up that relationship or screwed up that, or you should have got into real estate sooner. You should have done this, should have done that. Our brain has a way of doing that. And even if it's not all the time for you, when it does do it, it leaves a stamp. It leaves this memory of, maybe you shouldn't try that because you failed. Maybe it's not for you. Maybe the Economy's not right. Maybe, maybe, maybe. And then your confidence is just hovering a little low, like scared. Money makes no money. Scared. And going into a new venture, if that confidence is a little low, you're going to stay exactly where you are. So what I'd love for you to think about is not the failures of the past, not the missed opportunities. What are the things that you accomplished? What are the things that you did that can show you how amazing you are when you put your mind to it, whether that's being an amazing parent. I don't know about you, but I was scared to death when my daughter was born. Oh, my God. I remember taking her home after day two. I'm like, this is it. Nobody comes home with you. Like, you just take her home, scared to death. And then, you know, my parents were married and divorced a lot. I'm like, am I going to screw this kid up? Do I really know how to be a good parent? But what I did is I interviewed 20 people that I thought were great parents. I read countless children's books, and I gained the confidence to be a badass dad. I didn't have that at first. I had zero confidence about being a father. I did. I was. So I question everything. I still question, but I have confidence about being a dad because I gained the capabilities and I looked at other things. I've killed it in business, I've killed it in the real estate industry, wrote multiple New York Times best selling books. If I can do that, not focus on all the failures, I failed miserably in between all those. I had businesses that failed. I had partners where I trusted and I shouldn't and it's still my fault all those things. So what I did was, is I gained the capabilities, which we're doing here right now about confidence. But I reflected on my other accomplishments to empower confidence in any area I wanted it. You are extremely confident in a couple areas of your life. There's a couple things you do and you just know you're good at it, right or wrong. Maybe it's your job, maybe it's your being a lover, maybe it's being a husband, being a wife, being a parent. There is something. So borrow that confidence for any new thing you're wanting to do. And how you do that, how you do that is by looking back on the accomplishments, the breakthroughs, the things that have made a positive impact on your life, not the things that went wrong. So jot them down if you have a pen. What things have you accomplished? Maybe if you're Watching right now live. I'm looking at the notes. Send me some notes. Send me something right now. Somebody type in something that you accomplished or you're really good at. Good at saying. I love all the comments here, guys. I'm just reading them up. You can tell we're live here. So send me some comments. Send me something you accomplished, something you've done, something you're great at. Just start thinking about it. If you're not, you know, text it to me or write it down. But start thinking of that because you're going to borrow that confidence now as you think through that. This is an exercise. This is an exercise that I did. I wrote this in the book with Shawn Stevenson. I don't know if you know who Shaun is. He's three foot giant, amazing dude, three foot tall. He's been in a wheelchair his whole life, broke hundreds of bones. This guy's just loaded with confidence. This guy can walk in a room, walk on stage and you can feel it. Like, think about that. Let's just really think about that. This is a guy who people. And this is just coming out of his words. People have looked at him. We go to restaurants and everybody just stare. They can't help it. They stare. They don't know how to react. Right. This is a guy who busted through all that and has insane confidence. So I was going through something about eight years ago, something I wasn't used to handling, something in business. And it knocked me for a loop. It literally knocked me for a. Thank you, guys. I see some posts coming in here. It knocked me for. It had me off. It had my confidence off. And I was making bad decisions anyway. I was saying no. I was playing small. I knew my company and my life were going at the time we were on this. And I just got off. And you realize just like my daughter, pitching right, head was off and everything else was going wrong. Right. My daughter loses her confidence and her arm doesn't work anymore. She can't throw a strike. It had nothing to do with her arm. Well, my business wasn't good because I was off. It was just a time. We all go through stuff. So I meet Sean through a mutual friend and I end up going to Chicago, spend some time with him and we start talking about confidence and this thing that's bugging me and he could give two craps about the thing. So when I share with you right now, it's like you might be going through something. A worry, a fear, a shortage, Something is going on in your life. So I don't know what that thing is, and Sean didn't really want to care what my thing was. So I'm telling you about this thing. Thing that's bugging me in my business, that's knocking my confidence off, and this is what I do, and I don't know how to find it. And I'm trying to look backwards at my accomplishments. And Sean goes, grab a piece of paper, grab a pen. Tell me 10 things that are cool about you. And I'm like, all right, dude, you're not hearing me. I do all this stuff. This is what I. I'm in this world. I have a New York Times bestseller called Totally Fulfilled. It's a personal growth book. I get this. No, I just want to talk through this situation and see how this could happen. He's like, okay, that's great. So could you grab that pen and write down 10 things that are cool about you? I'm like, I just didn't see it. I didn't. So I'm going to ask you right now, as odd as this feels, if you've done this with me before, this is awesome. Oh, thanks, Jill. Appreciate it. Some great stuff coming in. If you've done this before, if you've never done it, I want you to do this right now with me. And let's do five and do five when we're done today. But I want you to write down five things that are cool about you. You know, we have this brain. I said this before. Not only forgetting what we accomplished, but we also like to remind ourselves what we're. It's not cool. I say cool. What have you. What's good about you? What have you done? When I say cool, what's cool about me, I want to share, and then I want to go back. What's cool about me is that I love to work. I love what I do for a living. I get to learn and teach for a living. If it's in my real estate space, I do more deals. I discover a new way to find deals. I get to create a course and share it. I discover a way to go faster, quicker success habits. I get to be friends with Tony Robbins and Richard Branson and all these great people. I rob their knowledge. I get to share it with you and my buddies, Joe Polish and just. I'm so blessed with the people that are around me every day. I truly am. And for a living, I get to learn and share and promote and motivate and inspire God. I used to fix cars like I'm the luckiest guy alive. So I love to work. I don't have a gazillion hobbies. I'll be honest with you. I don't golf, I don't fish anymore. I don't hunt, I don't ski, I don't ride dirt bikes. I don't have a lot of hobbies. So I have kids and all of a sudden I realize that I just love being a dad. And I'm sure if you're a parent, you love it just as much as me. You don't love your kids more. I don't love my kids more. We're all the same. But I just loved being a parent. I wanted to be good at it. So what I think's cool about me is about seven years ago, I just decided I'm not working weekends anymore. I used to love. I'd work all weekend. I'd work till 10 o' clock at night because I loved it. I come home for dinner. I don't work weekends. That's cool. And I write that down. I love when some. I love to negotiate deals. Love to negotiate deals. Some people can't. That's just me. I love. I love selling. If I know I can get somebody invested and engaged in a future that's better for them, I freaking love to sell. I don't get nervous about sales. Selling is what make the world go around. If you love what you do, you're obligated to get people do it. If you find a cure for cancer, you better be damn good at selling. You find a cure to get your friends to stop smoking, you better sell it. Eat better, better sell it. Find a new way to get smarter, quicker, faster. Sell it right. I love selling. I love crazy stuff. Like I love the fact that I used to be able to. I'm not a good reader. I have dyslexia. But I can visually watch something and then go do it. I used to watch somebody run a bulldozer and then I'd buy one. And when I used to build houses and I'd jump on the bulldozer and run. I think that's cool. Well, I'm telling you this stuff not to brag about me, to think. Spark some things in your head. What I want to tell you is that when Sean asked me this, I couldn't think of one. The only reason I rattled those off is because I did this exercise with him and I've been doing it ever since. But when he asked me to do it, I was like, shawn, I don't really know. He's like, are you kidding? Me, you wonder why your confidence is in the toilet. What's cool about you? He goes, dude, I know you. You had dyslexia. You have multiple New York Times bestseller sellers. That is freaking cool. I know what kind of dad you are. That is freaking cool. And he just started going on stuff that he saw in me and I'm like, how could I not know this? It is the hardest thing in the room. I've done this live. And I appreciate the comments coming in, guys. And I'm still here. We're obligated to success more than most people. You're damn right, buddy. Thanks, guys. I appreciate all the comments coming in. When he asked me I couldn't do it and so many times I said that so many times. I will be in a room of people live right in the other room. I do my high end masterminds right next to the studio here. And I'll say, guys, there's people in this room that are doing between 50 million and 400 million a year and will do this. And at first they're like, I don't want to do this, but I see some of them are off and will do it. And they all love it when they're done. But you'll ask a guy who's got a company doing 400 million a year what's cool about you? And he's like, ah, you know, just right now we're stressed. We're in this hiring process, like, but what's cool about you? Yeah, you know, I love, I'm so blessed to have a company like this, but we're thinking in the sales process and I'm not sure if things are going right and you realize that we get stuck. No matter if you're making $20 a year or 20 million or 200 million, we forget to look backwards on what's cool about us. So why am I talking about this so much? Because I want you to do this. I want you to think about it. I watch people that are massively successful get stumped when I ask, what's cool about you? And then when they start writing down, I watch the energy in the room change. I watch the way they react. I watch what they say, I watch the smiles on their face. And they start talking with each other. They're next to somebody else go, yeah. Do you know that I almost climbed some mountain? I was three quarters of the way up. Oh, my God. Somebody says, yeah, I literally had the nerve. I got dropped out of a helicopter on skis and skied down a mountain. And all Of a sudden, it brings up these emotions, you know? We are nothing more than what we believe, what we think. If we think we're not good enough, if we look at our past failures, we think about the stuff that's stressing us in our lives. We think about the economy could be off, our neighbors don't believe us, our family doesn't have faith in us. We start thinking that's just who we become. That's who we are. What this little trick is, guys, it's not so you can brag about yourself when you start thinking what's cool about you. I literally said that. I love music more than most people know. I remember writing down, I love. Sometimes when no one's home, I crank up the music and sing and dance around. That's cool. But when I started thinking about these emotions, thinking about spending time with my kids, thinking about driving a bulldozer, how good I felt when I did this, Think about being on stage in front of 15,000 people. No, I was the kid that used to skip school. When I think about that, it's not about me bragging. I'm telling you, it feels like I'm bragging a little bit, but I'm not. What I want to tell you, it sparks a new emotion inside of me, and it overpowers the negativity. It gets stronger. It pushes that, that you can't do this. You're not good enough. You're not loved, you can fail. Kind of version of you pushes that crap down, and all of a sudden, the real you exposes. That's when you feel in flow. That's when you feel in state.