Change The Story That's Holding You Back

Sometimes we need to talk about the invisible. We have to talk about the invisible. And that is what story has made you play small. Sometimes without realizing, our brain says, I thought we'd be further ahead by now. Maybe it's too late. I am getting kind of older. I don't have the energy I used to have, right? Maybe it's Covid. You know, if Covid wasn't here, I would have gotten better shape. I mean, everything shut down. Things are weird, right? I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm too broke. I'm not enough. Oh, that's a big one. It's too hard. No one supports my dreams. It takes money to make money. It takes more support. It takes more time. Listen, I don't know what the story is, and maybe. Maybe you guys could share some of the stories, but if you really think back at some of the thoughts. Thoughts. When things get tough, when you want to go for it, when you. Listen, I'm not talking about. Let's just say it like it is. I'm not talking about you doing the things that are easy for you. We teach people. For those of you that are new, my obsession, my partner Tony Robbins and I, we teach people. A lot of my family members are in here. In our project next and mastermind.com we teach people how to be in the knowledge industry, right? Sometimes people will do the easy part, like create their site, create the logo, create all the training, and have this beautiful site. And it's like, how to cure diabetes naturally or how to sell better love, better find love. How to get through menopause easier. All these great things. Because that part aligns with who they are. They can do it really quick. But then it's like, ooh, I got to start posting on social media and my friends and family are going to find out. Or, ooh, I think I got to shoot a video. And all of a sudden that story is, I'm not that good. I might not be good on camera. My friends will think I'm nuts. This won't work. And all of a sudden, I'm too old. I don't know how to use this technology. All of those things start coming in without realizing it. You're suddenly backing up and you're playing a little bit small. And those stories, as you get more successful, they're always there at every level. We have to identify. I want you to hear me. I went from the brokest kid in my school to doing better than I ever thought possible, okay? Along that whole journey, I want to Tell you there's always a story screwing me up that I have to identify and throw out, like, oh my God, I can't believe that one's still here, that I'm not smart enough that people are going to figure out that I'm not the smartest guy in the room and all these things. And once you identify the story, it sticks out like a sore thumb. I promise you there's a story or a thought pattern that 2021, and maybe the outside world because it's so damn crazy, helped really ingrain it in you. And I'm going to encourage you, I'm going to encourage you, please try to find that story, uproot it, you have to identify it and you got to write it down. Because once you write it down, once you write it down, you can say, I know my enemy, right? That story. Listen, someone asked me in a podcast about a year ago, if you could meet your 17 year old self and tell them anything, you only had a moment to talk to your 17 year old self, what would you say? I'd say change your story, change your life. What's going to hold you back? Is the story around why you can or why you can't? Henry Ford said, if you think you can, you will. If you think you can't, you won't. And that you got to realize that subtle story sometimes is not the big you can't, you're too old, you're horrible, you're this. It's like, do you really think that'll work? Do you really think I'm smart enough? Do you think the tech is too high? Do you think my I could really have, I mean love like that really doesn't exist. I mean being 50, can you really get in good shape? It only takes this tiny little story for you to back out enough to play. Small enough that it's self fulfilling. It's self fulfilling. See, I knew that wouldn't work. And if you go in with half the energy and you get half the results, then it's pretty much it's self fulfilling, it comes true, right? So I want you to think about it this way. If you were an army, right, Let me back up that story or a story has already cost you too much. Can we just say it like it is that story that you might be thinking of to go to even. And so many here, so many of you are so damn successful that are here doesn't mean you're destitute and have nothing. But I'm telling you what's holding you back. The Bridge to get from where you are to where you want to be is the story you tell yourself on why you can or you can't get there. And it's not always. So I'm going to go really fast. I had this amazing woman. I forget her name. It's probably two years ago. She comes on and I call that, like, chess is going to pop up. Like, so what is it you want to do? What's holding you back? I got everything ready. She was talking about her course, and she had everything seemingly, she said, but I just. I tell myself that I just suck on camera, and I just can't shoot the video. I just can't shoot a video. I want to shoot a video and I'll post it on Social. And I'm like, really? So then she shares with me. And we have a philosophy that we teach the hook, story, clothes, storyteach tool. We have all these cool things, right? So I'm not teaching that today. It's about personal development. But long story short, she had all of it. And she was so articulate, and she was so awesome. I could tell there was a story. There was a story behind it. So I said, okay, so I'm talking about video. And then I'm like, is there anything else? She's like, no, I just don't think I'm good on camera. And we kept talking. I said, what about this? What about your family? And then I said, what about your husband? And I saw her face kind of change a little. I'm like, so, what's up with your husband? She goes, well, he kind of thinks. I believe he thinks this is stupid. Stupid that I'm trying this. You know, we're okay financially. I just know I want to impact more lives. I want to do bigger things. I want to do something that really calls me. I feel I'm called to serve. And he thinks it's kind of crazy. I said, have you ever shot a video around him? He goes, yeah, the last time I shot a video, he made fun of it. I realized right there, it doesn't matter what we taught her about shooting a video. It doesn't matter if me and Tony Robbins sat right here and she was in the middle and we were coaching her. You know, what's stopping her from doing the video is the story she tells herself. If I shoot this, my husband's going to think it's stupid. He's going to make fun of me. It's silly. There is no way in history she's ever going to shoot a video because of the story. Now, I know this is a micro of a macro, but she was telling herself that story. So we talked for 20 minutes. We came up with a strategy to get her husband to say, hey, if you love me, all I ask is for your support. He felt so. Now, I never talked to her again, but she talked to my team. She said her husband felt so bad, he thought he was just joking with her. It was a story that she created and manufactured. When he found out he was a great dude, he supported her. They started doing it together. She shot a video and crushed it and destroyed it. It had nothing to do with capabilities, had nothing to do with the outside world. It had to do with this inner story. If I shoot this video, he's going to think it's stupid. When she changed that, she changed the story. She changed her life. Now, that's only in a micro. But. But what story? What story has stalled you or held you back in 2021? Okay, that was Chesa, right? I think I said that right. I don't see her on the screen. Can we pull her up? Everybody give it up for Chesa. Come on, give it up for Chesa. I do. All right.

O. I wasn't expecting this.

Well, you raised your hand. I mean, I can't. How you doing?

Well, I was used to painful out. I've been raising my hands, and finally I've arrived.

Well, happy New Year, first off.

Happy New Year, Dean. It's such an honor. This is happening. Oh, my God. Thank you for this opportunity.

Are you enjoying the day?

Yes, I am. Yes. I knew I was meant to be here.

Oh, well, good. Well, tell me what's. What's a story that, you know or a thought? I think a thought that, you know, has held you back a little bit or a lot in 2021.

Yes. Well, three things came up for me, Dean. So first one that came up is like, I have to constantly improve myself and keep taking programs for me to feel enough so that I can deliver and be the best consultant, coach and create the course, the best course ever. And I recognize in me that it's due to my upbringing of in order to be enough, in order to be loved, I had to be perfect, like from my own parents. So it was deeply rooted.

Yeah. So, you know, I'm so proud of you for recognizing that. I'm so proud of you for recognizing that. Because that's a big one, right? It's like you got to have every die dotted and every T crossed, and you make sure you know this up and down and make sure you know every bit. It's like I have to wait for it all to be perfect, then I'll go. And the question is, Chesa, will it ever be perfect? Never. No, never, right? And think of some of the things that you figured out and that you're already amazing at. You didn't know them out of the gate. You had to learn as you go. Now I'm the complete opposite. I'm a little crazy. I'm like the jump out of the plane and figure out how to grow wings on the way down. My sister would want to read every manual and figure out if I'm jumping out of this plane. I want to make sure it's perfect. And she would be in the plane so long, the plane would finally just land and kick her out. You know what I mean? There's two extremes, right? So let me just ask you something and we're going to go into the next one is this. But let me hear. How could you shift that story? How could that story shift meaning? Like, for me, here's what I say. You did one of the biggest principles I taught today. You got courses and you learned from people who've already been there. So you don't have to make so many of those mistakes. I promise you, Chesa, I've made so many damn mistakes in my life that when we create courses, you don't have to make them right. We give you the faster path to get there. You are bold enough to raise your hand today. You're communicating in an amazing way. Do you have something. Let me just ask you this. Do you have something to share with somebody that if you could have shared it with you of 10 years younger, would it have been valuable to you?

Yes.

Right. So you know in your heart you can deliver value. Is that true?

Yes.

Right. You know, you care. I'm guessing you're worried making it so perfect because you truly care. You want to serve people at the highest level. Is that true?

Yes.

Now, have you already done things in your life that you were uncomfortable with, but you did it anyway and then you weren't afraid anymore?

Yes.

Okay, we're doing good here. Have you bought courses and fig and learned from people who've already been there?

Yes. Like you.

Okay, well, amazing. So when we look through that lens, it's really difficult because you might have your first 18 years of your life programmed by your parents that everything's got to be perfect or it's not going to work. And all of a sudden you're out there going, I'm going to try a new industry and I'm going to teach people and I'm going to market and. Ah, right. Or you could say everything I've ever done in my life, I go all in. I've learned from people who've already been there. I have something so valuable to the world. It's an industry that's exponentially growing that I could be a part of. I'm learning from Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi. They've been doing this for 60 years. And I'm not just saying this because I'm here, but truth is, we freaking care. Like, we care. This is. We don't. Tony and I don't need to work anymore. I'm not saying that to be a jerk. We're here because this is our mission. We're doing this to the day we die. So you got two people hell bent on changing your life who've done it. You've learned you've done great things in your life and you're a perfectionist. So that means you know you're going to have it. Great. And it's time to launch. So what I want to share is we need to identify these stories, guys, and then we need to find a way to twist it on its head. Right? Give me another story that held you back.

Yes. So another story is, well, I'm creating this happiness Dream builder course@mastermind.com. i know it's my next step and I've done the intro because, you know, it's the easiest thing to do for me. But then the actual meet and the module is what's been challenging and holding me back. And I recognize the thought was, oh, I had to. It's the perfectionist syndrome up until now that I had to move to a different location, change a different environment so that I can, you know, film myself in a better environment. You know, those things came up.

So here's what I want to share. Everybody, first off, can we give it up for Chesa? Everybody give it up for Chesa. Okay, you can take Chesa down, but I'm going to talk about Chesa here and I'm going to share this for everyone. So here's something that's going to be hard to recognize, but I'm going to ask you, Chesa, to recognize this and everybody else. I see so many. Oh, my God. Everybody's relating with you, Chesa. Everybody gave you so many cheers. But here's what happens sometimes when we feel a little insecure about moving forward, taking uncomfortable action. Let's just say our next level of life. Hear me. Everyone lives on the other side of uncomfortable action. Just the way it goes. You got to face that uncomfortable action. Whether that's something you're afraid of, a little disturbed by, a little embarrassed by your next level lives over there. You got to pay the success tax. Simple as that. You have to pay the success tax of taking uncomfortable action. But here's what our subconscious does. Chess is talking about. I got all these things ready. Can you tell she's a badass? Everybody, Seriously, can you tell? She's got this right. Arshia. I think I said your name right. Like, everybody's shaking their head. You can tell she's a badass. But right now her subconscious is saying once we get the perfect place to film and maybe even a better camera and we get a little better lighting, then we'll do it. That's just our subconscious giving us an excuse not to get it done today. Some of my best videos, some of my best work I've ever done, I shot on my phone while I was walking and my hand was shaking because after five minutes, my hand gets tired and it's shaking. So I. Some of my best videos were from that. Some of my best videos were done when I didn't have a beautiful studio. People will buy from you when they feel understood, when they know you care, when they know you have something that can shift their life. They don't care for perfection. And the fact of the matter is, we need to come up with new stories. I'm going to go right into number four. Number four is create a new story in 2022 that takes that old disempowering story and makes it the wind behind your sails. We need to convert that. We need to convert that story for Chesa. And I'm using her as an example because so many people are nodding their head. She needs to convert that story that says if I don't film right here, right now, on my phone, where I sit, I'm actually doing a disservice to people who need what's in my head every day. Chesa, that you don't film your course, you're screwing someone over who's struggling with what you've already been through. You see, we're just talking because Chesa happens to be a part of our self education industry. But, Chessa, you have something right now that could bridge someone's gap. To allow. Listen, Accelerated success formula. It's a gap builder. You're here, you want another level of life. This is an amazing way to create new habits, new goals. New success habits. It's my greatest personal development course. It is the bridge to help you go from where you are to where you want to be. Chess is building a course to help people in her industry of what she's learned to go from where they are to where they want to be. Chesa, someone's going to take five or 10 years to figure out what you could share with them in a course. And every day you don't have it out there, you're screwing somebody over. So what I wouldn't be thinking, is the light perfect, the camera perfect? I'd be thinking, damn, here's another day. Someone needs me and I'm not out there there. And you're going to overthink laying out your modules. I can tell your personality. You're going to think, oh, my God, am I saying everything? People don't need everything. They just need to know what you know right now. And you can improve on the course, you can make it better, you can add another module, you can do it over. But I promise you, out of the gate will be the knowledge someone needs today. And then you could polish the diamond. But if it lives in your head, you're screwing people over. So what I would say to you is, how do you shift that story for 2022 and go, wow, Every day that I'm not filming, I'm taking away someone's capabilities to live a faster, better life. I'm taking away my ability to serve others. And I was born to serve. Chesa, do you feel like you were born to serve? Put it in the chat, right? I'm watching her face, saying, yes. Now, this is Chesa's story. This isn't everybody's story. Everybody's got different things every day. You're not doing it. So how do you shift that story? Listen, I wrote a book called the Underdog Advantage. Because I remember being in school thinking, how the hell can I be successful? I don't have any money, I have dyslexia. Sandy's got that book. You know what I'm talking about. Julie's got that book, right? I remember thinking to myself, how the hell can I be successful? I'm not going to go to college. My parents have never made anything. I. I can barely read. I got a sixth grade reading level. My teacher, Ms. Thompson, thinks I'm dumb. It takes money to make money. I remember all of those stories. And I'd love to say that there was this day, this epiphany. Someone came to me. I don't know, maybe I'm Unique. I have no idea where it came from, but I remember there was a moment that they went from my disadvantage. They went from the anchor holding me back, and I started flipping all those stories. I remember thinking, oh, I don't have money, Mrs. Thompson. You want to make fun of me? I'm going to be the most successful person ever graduated from this school. I remember thinking, because I don't have money, I'm going to be resourceful. Think about that. If you don't have. Does money alone make people successful or happy? Can we just be honest? Does lotto make you rich forever? Even though you got the resources, does lotto make you happy? It is the biggest group of people who go broke and get the most depressed. They got the money. What happened? They had resources, not resourcefulness. I would thank God, the heavens, your creator, or the universe, whatever you believe in, for the journey that you've been on, because I believe your journey has set you up for success. And the day we realize that that journey is the wind behind our sail, it is our underdog advantage that we can turn. I had dyslexia. I'm writing my first book. My first book was a New York Times best seller, right? And I almost deleted the book and almost threw it out. I was so embarrassed of it at first. But what happened was I used resourcefulness instead of resources. I used will. I used communication. I used enthusiasm. I'm not the smartest guy in the world. I don't have a vast vocabulary. Those of you who are way smarter than me, which is most of you, you. You can tell. I use very little words when I write. I write little words. I don't have a vast vocabulary, but I hope I cover it with caring, passion, and enthusiasm. I hope I cover it with sincerity. That's who I am. Some of you can articulate your words way better than me. But my gift is I just love being passionate. I love being sincere. I love not having slides. I might have to follow a pattern, right? But that's me. And when you start understanding that these are our gifts, not our anchors, these are the winds behind our sail, that's when we start manipulating those stories of, I can't. It's the wrong time. It's not. I can't do this because of COVID I'm doing this because of COVID This isn't going to work in a time where people are struggling. No. I want to make sure people struggle less because of what I want to do. I don't think I could ever be in a good relationship. My Parents. I'm not joking. My parents were married nine times. Five for my mom, four for my dad. Nine marriages. Do you know when my first marriage isn't working? You know what some of the beliefs I had is like? Well, that's the experience I got to see. How the hell could I make a relationship work? That was bs. It was the biggest BS in the world. After my relationship didn't work, and this is only, you know, in my 40s, I went and read every book I possibly could on love. I got a love coach. I interviewed couples that were 60, 70, 80 years old and still in love. And I obsessed and realized I it wasn't about finding the perfect soulmate. I had to step up my game. I had to be a better man to attract the right woman. To be a solid human. To be that man when no one's watching. My wife knows the man I am when no one's around. I don't know if I was that guy years ago, but why did I do that? How did I do that? Because I created a new story. My past doesn't dictate my future. I wrote things down. Now is my time. I thrive under pressure. Here's some things I wrote down. Maybe they resonate with you, maybe they don't. I thrive under pressure. I'll dominate in winter. You know, the economy's. Who knows? I'm not an economist, but I think we're heading towards winter. And people smarter than me say we are an economic winter. So instead of saying, wow, winter's coming. I have a new story. I thrive in winter. Everybody's scared. I'm going to go skiing. I'm going to thrive in an economic winter. When others want certainty, I. I want creativity. My creativity will create my certainty. What is your new story? Right, because I'm dyslexic. I'm going to crush this because I'm older. I'm going to show my grandchildren how to do this because I'm broke. I'm going to make money because my spouse doesn't believe in me. I'm going to show them that they married the woman of their dreams. I don't know what your story is, but you need a new one. And when we replace the story, nothing changes on the outside world. But man, everything changes on the inside world. When we change the story. I'm just reading my notes because I don't want to miss anything. When we change the story, we change our lives. What's up? What's up? Hey, don't forget to look at the action steps. We've posted below. They are the perfect way to take your success abundance in this crazy, crazy world to a whole another level.