Dean Graziosi's 3 Secrets To Massive Success

So where in your life can you obsess on after the yes? Where can you camp out in someone else's mind to see what they're feeling, what their fears are, what their, what their goals are? I'm going to give you a couple secrets here that have been a massive, massive game changers in my business. And if you have a business, you have a life, you want to start a business, these are the things that can be huge. People will forget your name, right? I forget names. I'm terrible with names, but I remember faces. But people forget your name, they'll forget what you do for a living, but they'll never forget how you make them feel, right or wrong. You ever have somebody like, oh, man, I forgot that guy's name, but man, every time he's around, I just feel good. Or oh my God, every time that person's around, he's a battery drainer, I gotta get out of here. Right? You know how people make you feel? What most people do wrong is they forget how their clients feel, right? So a prospect is someone, before they say yes to you, right? Once they say yes to you, they're your student, they're your client, right? Obsess on how they feel through every step of what you're offering. Think about this. Someone says yes in your practice. Someone says, I'm going to give you an example. In my company, for a long time, we did live events. And live event company got really big. And it got so big I had my students out on the road teaching. But I couldn't be at every event, nor did I want to be. So what I did is I knew what we were teaching was the best in the world. I knew that we cared. But I also wanted to make sure I knew how people felt. So I created secret shoppers in my own company. And I know I didn't tell anybody. Not one person in my organization knew that I had secret shoppers going out into these live events, going out and finding how people felt at every level. How did they feel when they got there? How did they feel when they walked through the door? I created a whiteboard almost as big as this, not high. And I wrote down all the paths a student could take and how they felt at each part. How they feel when they stepped in, how did they feel with the speaker when they presented an offer? Did the sales guy, was he too pushy? Did it make him feel too uncomfortable? And then when they went to lunch, my guy was immersed with all of them. And I found out how they felt about the operation. Then when they bought something, what did the next level feel like when they. And I had this guy go through everything, even calling and wanting a refund and being a jerk? And I said, how did my customer service make you feel when you were a jerk and wanted your money back? And we made this big board, and then I waited till it was all done till people came in. And I found so many areas that we provided the best product in the world. Our heart cares. We have a great company, but we made people feel like crap in a couple areas. They got enrolled on a Saturday and they didn't get a phone call from us until a Thursday. And it was all. We found all these disconnects had nothing to do with products. It had nothing to do with the service, had to do with how they felt. We found out when people. You make a decision, listen, I know what it's like in Ben, if you brought your spouse, great. If you have somebody at home, you're going to go home on fire. And if someone's ever a part of. Somebody's a part of your life or your company, and they know how you come back from events all fired up like, oh, shit, he's coming back with all this stuff, you know, I go back to. I'd go back home like, honey, this. You know, so everybody knows you're coming back like that, right? But I don't know why I digressed on that. It was just funny. But obsessing how people feel all the way through makes them a client who not only buys more from you, respects you more, they refer you without you even asking, right? When you know you have a. When you know, if there's a restaurant, the difference between a restaurant where you go in and you feel like you're just being bussed in compared to someone who asks you how you're doing, you go back there and they know your kids and how old they are, and they get you the kids menu first, and they put you in your favorite seat. That becomes a relationship rather than a transaction. So I want you to put something down. Be in the relationship business, not the transaction business. Be in the relationship business, not the transaction business. The reason I was digressing, I had a point. I knew it. It's just my ADD kicked in is you go home all excited. There's a couple things. Have you ever gone to an event and you're really excited or read something where you're just. And then you get home and it slowly starts fading away and it's like, oh, my God, you're on. You're on YouTube googling more Tony Robbins or something. Like, give me my fix. I need some. I need it back. Right? Like, but think about that, right? You get on this high, you're around the same kind of people, the same thoughts. Nobody in here thinks you're crazy, but the rest of the world thinks you're kind of nuts for being here. Right? I know how that goes. I've been nuts my whole life. I'd rather be nuts, happy and rich than right, wrong and broke. Right? So at least you might be crazy to everybody else, but this is a good crazy crowd. Right? But I say that because. So let's just take this for example. Someone leaves an event, I'm just going to use an example. And you know, they might go home and face people who weren't at the event or who don't want to work on their growth or don't want to be a different person. They want to stay exactly who they are forever. As you're growing, sometimes you feel you're growing apart from somebody. They're not growing, they're just staying. They're normal. That's why they think you're nuts, because you're the one growing. So how would you think through that person feels? Right? I want to make sure when this group leaves, you'll be getting emails from us, you'll be getting videos from us, all free, just to build this relationship. I want you guys to have more value. I want you to leave and know that you could lose this edge that you're getting here. We want to make sure you don't. So we'll send you emails of videos that Brendan does or I do or all the other great speakers. We have a lot of cool stuff planned for growth because I want to make sure I know how you feel. And if you think about that, in any business, we forget about that. We forget that you buy something in a course. You know, you buy a. Let's say you buy a coaching program and you're so pumped because you know what it can do, because it was explained to you, I could do these 12 points and do this. You get all excited, you go home, you tell somebody who didn't have that experience, and they're like, are you insane? Go get your money back. You got ripped off. Well, you're gonna be all happy and fluffy forever and puppies and rainbows. Like, you know, people who aren't in growth aren't in growth. Right? Again, I'm using this as an example, but what if you got home and there was an email waiting to support that feeling. There was a video from Brendan, says, hey, I know you're getting home. I know you're home. And it's going to start to wear out. Let's go through, let's do this quick exercise to keep you engaged. And then next week, when it starts to fade, all of a sudden you don't really know what's going on and another video comes and it's me and said, hey, it's a week in. I know, I know what a week is. It's that point that part is trying is making sure you know how they feel and think about it in advance. And I wrote a note over there before because I was thinking about this. I haven't talked about it in a while. Just in my book is camp out in the mind of your prospects and camp out in the mind of your clients. Live in their world, live in their shoes, not yours. Because what happens is we all have our own stuff, but the people that you deal with. And again, if you don't have your own business in life, camp out in someone else's head for a little while and see what they're dealing with, see what they're going through, look through their eyes, understand what their fears are, what their wants are, and it makes life completely different. You know, so many times we get prepared to go into a conversation with our spouse or with our kids or with co workers or employees or employers, and we get everything in our head that we want to express, we want to get out. We get all this and we go in there and we're not taking into consideration what's going on in their heads or if they're having a fight with their spouse at home or something went wrong or they found their aunt or grandparents were diagnosed with cancer. We just work on ourselves. And when we spend the time to think how another person feels, it ends the confrontation. It allows you to bond. Again, I'm digressing here between relationships, personally, for those of you who don't have your own business nor want it compared to a business as well, you know, one of the greatest things that I've ever had, and again, I know I'm all over the place, but I want to. I'll circle it back around. One of the greatest things I've had for meetings, for relationships, for conversations with my kids, with my wife, with anyone, is simply everybody goes into a meeting. Do you ever go to a meeting where everybody can't wait to talk because they want to feel understood? They want you to know, hey, this is what I am. This is what I do. This is what I can bring. This is my value, this is my great ideas. People think when I go to meetings that I'm insane. I know they do. When I sit there, they're like, I heard this guy was sharp, heard he had a big business. He hasn't said a word. Because when I go to a meeting, I shut up, I listen. Because everybody tells you what their fears are, everybody tells you what's wrong. If you just use these to negotiate, you'll get far greater results than this, right? So what I do is I listen to everybody and realize everybody's trying to pound their chest, everybody's trying to get their point across. It could be again with your kids, with your spouse, with your friends, family, parents. But if you just listen and then I'll say, you know what, I'm a little confused. And this, do me a favor and rob this. Exactly. And use it the next time you're in this meeting. I said, I'm just a little confused. And a lot of times when I'm meeting with new people, like, yeah, you're confused. You haven't said a word. But I'll say I'm a little confused. If it was a year from now and this business, this relationship, this new endeavor, went amazing, what does that look like to you guys and what you find out. In most cases, they're just so. Everybody wants to just share what's on there. They're not thinking about everybody else, they're just thinking about them. And it stumps most people. But when you get them to think through that, everything changes. They'll tell you how they feel. And then you could close that deal, fix that relationship with really minimal words, because you understand their heart, you understand what's wrong, you understand what's right, you understand their desires. And it's just something that took me time because I know in my twenties, being I was self employed in my twenties, I wanted to go in and just prove that I'm on fire. Look what I have, look what I'm doing. Look at me. I could say I could cure the world, I could fix this relationship, but everybody's doing that. So if you take that whole concept of understanding how people feel after a yes in your business, in your personal life, talking to your spouse, it changes everything. So I kind of talked all over. But if you're in a business and you sell your product, what do they feel like after they say yes? Do they have a little buyer's remorse in 48 hours, then send an email about buyer's remorse in 48 hours, if you're a dentist and they come get their teeth cleaned, they. Nobody. Getting your teeth clean is, like, the thing you would hate to do. Like, it's. It's like, you know, it's like Joe Polish used to do carpet cleaning. Who wants to do carpet cleaning? Yeah, I know. I'm thinking exactly of you right now. Just so you know. I. But think in a relationship, how do you. My dentist is a badass. He's. He's gone through all this marketing stuff, and he gets it. The emails I get, he's my bud. I have a relationship. My dentist. How could I ever go anyplace else? And God Forbid I go 6.1 months and I didn't go back for my checkup. I get an email and I feel bad that I should. And I go in there, not because of a transactional relationship, to keep my teeth clean. It's like I'm letting down my dentist, damn it. I gotta take the time and go in there. And then when he emails, it's always great value. So you think about after a transaction, I don't care. The reason I said dentist, because some of you want to do books and courses and all the things that we do and you do. I get all that. But in every single business, what can you do? What can you put in place that builds a relationship where they're going to refer you, talk great about you, love you, and respect you. And when you think about that, that's the difference of businesses that thrive compared to those that struggle. And I really believe that's the key point is the obsessiveness after the sale. The other thing that has proven huge in even my real estate business and my parenting and all my companies is reward people for good behavior unexpectedly. Reward people for good behavior unexpectedly. And what do I mean by that? Even in a relationship with your spouse or with your kids, it's easy to say, ah, you didn't pick up your room today. Come on, you can't leave the house without picking up your room. Did you brush your teeth? Hey, why are you waiting till the morning to do your homework? And when you pick out those things, which you might want to guide your spouse or your kids or your employees or employer, you might want to guide them down the right path and acknowledge what's not right. But how many times do we forget when they did do their room or they did brush their teeth, or they said please and thank you when you weren't watching, or they were super polite to a stranger and held the door and you didn't notice that your kids did that? You don't say, oh, I saw you hold the door. That was really awesome. But if they don't hold the door, you go, hey, why didn't you help that lady when she was walking through there? That's. That's what respectful people do, right? But we do that in business. We do that with our employers. We got. We have employers working their hearts out for us. They're doing the best they can. We're expecting a different level, of course. So we will always say when they fell short and forget to remind them and reward them when they did great. So think of everywhere in your life. How can you do that with your clients? How can you do that with people in real estate that you sell houses to or in, or you're in a dentistry or you' employees, when they feel understood, when they get rewarded, it changes everything. So I'm going to give you an example. I own about 400 houses, all of them rented, mostly in the Midwest. And that's part of my real estate portfolio. I've been a real estate expert for years. So I own 400 houses, and we had about a 87% occupancy rate. And what I realized out of all those houses is I don't manage them. I haven't even seen any of them. I haven't walked in one of those houses. Right? We hire, we have systems and processes, and then I get a property manager to manage those for me. But what I realize in most, most property managers, it's very transactional. You put a tenant in, and if they don't get paid in three days, they get a letter, hey, you better pay. You're gonna get out in 14 days. It starts the eviction process. There's zero relationship. It's just, just. It's this transactional thing. I know some of you in this room have experienced that on one side or the other, right? And I said, if someone has zero relationship with the owner of the house, do they really care about the house? If they have zero relationship with paying the rent, if they have a tough month, are they going to pay the other bills first or the rent first? They're going to pay the other bills first. So I said, my team thought I was nuts, my real estate team. I said, I want to change it up a little bit. I want to create a letter that goes out in three months thanking them for paying on time. If they pay on time for six months, I want to send them a $50 Starbucks gift card and just say, hey, I Don't know if anybody's ever thanked you, but I want to thank you for paying rent on time. It's very noble and I appreciate you. And it's this warm letter. At nine months, we send something else when someone's late. It used to be this harsh. Screw you, Pay me or get out. Now it's, hey, I want to let you. Is there anything we can do to help? And I changed it to a relationship not with me, but with my property manager. Let me tell you what happened. We're at a 98% occupancy rate, but here's a byproduct of it. Our. Our costs for repairs have dropped 62% because when the pipes leaking, they don't go. Well, screw that. The landlord's a jackass. Just. Just call a plumber. I don't care what it costs. Now they say, ah, Linda. She's so sweet. I'll look under here and see if I can fix this. Right or wrong. It changed four letters and a thank you and a smile changed everything because we built a relationship after the yes. Now that's real estate. But can that apply to almost anybody in this room? Right? When is the last time you've had a great meeting and it went really well and you left, forgot to acknowledge that person, Send them a thank you, send them an email, Send them flowers. It's something I've gotten better on in the last five years. If I leave a great meeting, I want to make sure someone knows, especially if it's someone that it's mutually, mutually beneficial. And I could tell they served, they gave, I'll leave and I'll immediately call and get flowers sent or even send a quick text. So where in your life can you obsess on after the yes? Where can you camp out in someone else's mind to see what they're feeling, what their fears are, what their. What their goals are? You know, so many times people will be. Even if you're in a company and you're trying to evolve through the corporate ladder, it's always, ah, the person above me. And I said, do you really understand what that person's going through? You want to, you want to, you know, you want to dis. So many people in. I see in corporate America, they're kind of fighting for the same thing. And they make the person. They're competing with their enemy. I'm like, do the complete opposite. Find out what their fears are. Find out what they're worried about. When you can solve those problems in advance, everything changes. Everything changes. Good stuff. What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them, and I'll see you there.