Dean Graziosi gives four concise, actionable tips for keeping passion and connection in long-term relationships: 1) don’t keep score (avoid tallying favors or resentments); 2) feel love when you give love (advice credited to Tony Robbins); 3) listen more than you think (practice active listening, especially amid busy schedules); and 4) treat the next 90 days like the first 90 days (deliberately recreate early-relationship gestures). The segment is framed by personal examples about his marriage and commitment to maintaining passion.
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But I'm in a phase in my life where I realized how amazing it is to be connected, to have someone that supports you, that you support them. And I will do everything in my power to keep that passion. That look. I always say when I walk in a room, my wife still looks at me like it was the first week we were dating. I don't want to lose that. So there's a few things I do, and I'll go really quick. Number one, don't keep score in a relationship. Keep score. You're done. Oh, man, I do all this. I do that, I do this. He hasn't, she hasn't. And you start thinking, well, I'm not going to give the love till I get this, and all that kind of stuff. You start keeping score, and you go further and further apart, number one. Number two, imagine if. And I learned this from my partner and friend, Tony Robbins. Imagine if you felt love when you gave love, not when you received it. Ooh, sounds like a tough one, right? But imagine that. How cool would it be every time you gave someone love, you felt that. Amazing. Do that and watch how contagious it is and watch your significant other doing the same. Number three. Listen more than you think, especially us guys, this is the one that I'll continue to work on. I'm in a busy day. I come home, I want to see the kids. I want to do this. And my wife's got something to tell me, and I could be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I stop and go, stop it, listen. And I actively listen, I watch my wife light up. And the last one. Imagine if you treated the next 90 days of your relationship like it was the first 90 days when everything was perfect, when you were giddy and you couldn't wait to see him, and you picked up a rose and you text them out of the blue. What if you just decided to do that for the next days? I dare you.
