Focus RIGHT HERE if you want True Success in Life [MINDSET]

And when my life changed is when I turned the ship. I turned the ship into the storm. I've been teaching it for all these years in business. It was time I did it in my personal life. And when I turned the ship into the storm is when the shit really happened. That's when the waves hit. That's when the waves are coming over the boat. That's when you think you're going to sink. But here's what I started to do, and this is the part I want to share with you. I started changing the people I was hanging around. I started not listening to the people who were telling me what could go wrong. And I found people who did it right. The same stuff I teach in business. Wow. Oh, my God. I wrote this in Millionaire Success Habits. But I do it in my personal life now. I'm surrounding myself with people that went through this and have thriving children. They're thriving parents. I go down and spend a day with my buddy Tony Robbins. He went through it. Went through a little depression. He had to turn his ship into the storm. But on the other side is something so different. So all of a sudden, I had to find hacks, because here's what I realized. I couldn't think my way through this. And again, I'm going so deep on this, guys, because I really want you to think about the area. And you might have nothing in your life that you have to face, but most of us do, right? So I had to find a way because I couldn't think myself through the process. I was trying to just visualize a bigger future. And I can do that in most things. But in this case, it wasn't enough. This was like a deep anchor, right? So now I start doing the research. I'm like, what can change my brain? Sometimes you need something physical to change your brain. You need to do something. So after a bunch of research, I'm going to tell you some of the stuff I did after being with Tony, who's a dear friend, and checked up on me and gave me some amazing advice. Dr. Amen. So many other loving people in my life that I reached out to people who could fix it rather than people who tell me how bad it was going to be. And I started a few things. I started meditating more. Always dabbled, but I started meditating more. I started journaling. I would recommend to everybody that you journal and talk about. You know, it doesn't have to be a big, long journal. It doesn't have to be perfect structure. Just at night, write about the day, write about the win. Write about the thing that worried you the most. What I did, I was literally writing the win I would have for the day. At night, I was sitting in my bed, literally. Picture this, guys. You know me. You know what I've done. You know, all the great stuff. I get to jump on private planes and fly to Japan and China and Australia and speak on stage with Tony Robbins with 50, 15,000 people. All this amazing stuff. Then I go home at night, and I'm living in the guest room, and I'm sitting in there with a lamp on. Picture this with my journal, trying to get my shit straight. It's real, as real as I can get. And I'm journaling the wins I had for the day and the things that affected my life that day. And all of a sudden, the journaling, you know what it did? It allowed me to see the things that steered me in the wrong direction, allowed me to see the things that were like. I go back three, four, five weeks of my journal. I'm like, oh, God, I can't believe I let that derail me. And I started seeing a pattern of the things that derailed me and the things that gave me confidence and courage to go to another level. And I started doing more of those and less of this. I mean, I was, like, starting all over again. And you might have to experience this. When it comes to success, you might have the same fears I do about starting your new business because of old fears, old challenges, old experiences, right? So the reason I'm doing it. So I start journaling, and then I start every single night, every single day, every night, every morning in my journal, I'm writing just three things I'm grateful for, little things. And I'd write down, the dog was amazing today, playing outside. She's such a cute dog. My son smiled at me after being grumpy. Or I got to watch a baseball game or watch my daughter pitch. I start writing these down, and I'm like, finding myself again. As crazy as this sounds now listen again. So many of you have had ten times worse experiences. I'm not trying to say, poor me, no. This was my journey. I'm doing this to inspire you to turn your ship towards the ship, towards the storm, right? So I started gratitude. I started journaling exercise. What I realized, too, when I got hit. When this hit me the hardest, I stayed away from exercise. I'm like, I can't even think about exercise right now. When simultaneously, when you exercise, more oxygen goes to the brain. Your endorphins are released I needed exercise. I started exercising again on a regular basis. And then I started doing what I'm doing right now. I started talking about it. For the first eight, nine months, I didn't tell anyone. This was my thing. I felt like a failure. I'm like, how can I do so much right in my life and I'm doing this wrong. I started talking about it, I started expressing it. I started to say it out loud. I started to not be embarrassed by it. I started to lean into it. I started not thinking as a failure. Started thinking I could only be a failure if I screw this up and don't learn. I also like anything else. I. I stopped letting unqualified people give me even a hint of what was right and what was wrong. I won't listen. In fact, I want to tell you something. Where I'm at now, there were some friends in my life that told me, hey man, stay in the marriage. It doesn't work. It doesn't matter because you'll be so sad. Your kids will be messed up. And when they saw me go through it and I'm going to talk where I am now, they're back and like, oh my God, you're so brave. I want to fix my marriage. I need to fix it. Like, instead of just ignoring, I want to fix, like, they were saying it because they were in pain and it was such a flashlight and a magnifying glass on everything. Because I realized the people gave me shitty advice is because they were miserable, because they were afraid to face their fear. And then since I did, all of a sudden they're like, oh my God, Dean, please tell me how you did it. Tell me how you got through it. And I was like, wow, I teach people this all the time, but now I get to see it firsthand because it's been so long since I've been in the business side. But so many people who tell you you can't start your own business, it won't work. You're not qualified. It's because they're afraid, because they're scared and they're projecting their fears onto you. Then here's the best part. I started to. I started observing my thinking. Now I teach this all the time. I do it in business all the time. I observe my thoughts non stop, but now I'm observing my thoughts for the things that take me down the wrong path. But rather than the right path, I started detecting shit thinking immediately, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not going down that road. That road leads me to anxiety and fear. I won't be a good dad. I won't be a good. I won't impact the world. I won't be a good example. No, I'm not going down that road. I'm going down this road. I started to catch myself when I was just. When I was like the triggers that would put me in the wrong direction. And then all of a sudden, with that combo of all those things, I started redrafting my story. You know, I tell everybody all the time what lives between you and the life you desire. Besides the obstacle. The obstacle sometime could simply be the story you tell yourself. If you tell yourself, I could make more money if I had money to invest in my. If somebody gave me money to invest in my company, I could do it. If I lived in a different area, I could do it. If I had a different spouse, I could do it. If I had different parents, I could do it if I lived in a different area, if I had a different education, if I was smarter, faster, richer. It wasn't stuck in a bad job. What stands between you and your next level of life is the story. The story that I had that was driving me mad, driving me to have anxiety, driving me to have fear, driving me to have emotions I've never had in my life was a really shit story. If I leave my kids, I'm going to do what my parents did to me. I'm going to screw their life up and I'm going to miss them so bad. I'll never be the same. That was my story. How about if I just tell you that? What if I said that to you? I say it out loud right now? Do you know, eight months ago, I couldn't even said that story out loud. I'd probably go into an. A year ago, I'd go into an anxiety attack, Literally. I'd be like. Because that story was so powerful. You know what that story is? It's a piece of shit. Screw that story right now. That story is just ridiculous. It's a freaking lie. That story caused me torment and just hardship. And that story can go F itself because it's so not true. And then all of a sudden when the story changed and I said, listen, the fact of the matter is I wish that my marriage worked out. I wish that it was me, but it didn't. So now that I'm here, I can't go back and fix time. I definitely made some massive mistakes, but I can't go back and undo time. I can't reverse the clock. So my new story is that I'm going to build a next level relationship with my kids. They're going to thrive. That parents screws up kids, not divorce that. I see my kids literally every day. They live. I bought them a house three miles down the road. My ex and I are better friends now than we've ever been. We talk regularly, we talk about the kids. I can, I mean, we go meet for dinners, we go to the games and meet there. Everything that I thought and all the people around me told me could never happen happened literally. My ex and I are better friends than we've ever been. We're better parents than we've ever been. And here's the great part is I know £10,000 came off her shoulders. So do mine. So did mine. I know our kids feel it. I mean, literally. I left this morning to go see my kids. I stopped over there, said hi to them at their house and when I left, my son gave me a kiss and he's like, dad, I love you. Do I see you tonight? My son and my relationship has gone to another level. I see them literally as much, if not more I did because I used to work extra time. And here's what I know. I also made a conscious decision that if I don't as much quantity of time with my kids when I have it, the quality is going to double it.