Dean Graziosi says struggles are a success tax: the price of growth. He shares how his stepdad's stroke and death the week before a live event taught him to live without regrets and focus on what actually matters.
Learn to honor the struggle. What the hell does that mean? So there's a lot of different ways I could sell you on this. A lot of different ways. But let's think of it in a couple ways. Does going to the gym you like going to the gym? I hate going to the gym, but I surely like the way I feel when I'm done with the gym. So I guess I honor the struggle of the gym because I'm like, bring it on. I want to feel good. I don't want my kids to think Dad's washed up. I'm going to run faster than my kids until I'm 100. That's what I've definitively said to my kids. So I honor the struggle of working out because I like the way I feel when I'm done. Do I like the struggle of last week. And I'm not going to go too deep in it, but I lost my stepdad since I was nine years old. The week before edge, one o' clock in the morning, my mom called me. I just moved my mom here after 25 years of not living by her. I got them a condo. I set the whole thing up. They were here having the time of their lives. They've been together since, you know, been together for over 40 years. And I moved them here and they. They were having a really good time. And one o' clock in the morning, my mom called and my stepdad had a stroke. And it was really tough for four or five days and he passed. And it's been really sad. And so some of it I haven't even processed yet because that happened the next day was the edge, and it was just this struggle, right? But he taught me some amazing lessons throughout my entire life. He even taught me a great lesson in death, that screw play in life. Small life comes really fast at all of us. And if we played life from the end looking backwards, is there anything you wouldn't do? Do you want to go to your deathbed and say, oh, I'm glad I played small. I'm glad I said no. I'm glad I stayed in this terrible job that killed me. I'm glad I settle for an okay relationship. I'm glad I settled with not really seeing my kids, but, hey, that's the way life is. You think that's what you're going to say at the end? Hell, no. My stepdad last week gave me a newfound look at life. I'm looking from the end backwards. And when I'm on my deathbed and I'm looking Around and the things are beeping and people around. I want to know who's there. I want to think about who's standing there. I want to know what they're saying about me, and I want to know. I want them to say, man, that guy squeezed the juice out of life. He left nothing on the table. When I hear someone say, you know, that guy had a lot of money and he spent it all and he died broke, I'm like, perfect timing. Let's do that with every bit of asset that we have. I don't want to die with a half a tank left of like, I coulda, shoulda, woulda. I wish. No, screw that. I've changed a lot, literally, in the last week because of my stepdad. I didn't mean to digress on that. And I wasn't even share that with you. I'm sharing it because if he gave me that lesson, then I get to share it with you. But the struggle of that was tough. But I look at that struggle as I can be. Not that I'm not sad about it. That's my own way to process. But I can be crippled by it, or I can be like, no, my stepdad taught me a valuable lesson. Life can come to an end just like that. And I'm not going to settle for anything. I'm not living good anywhere. I want extraordinary in every area of my life. So I'm honoring that struggle. I'm honoring it. My mom's here. She hasn't been around me in 25 years. It's so sad for her that it's her best friend, the love of her life. That's a struggle. But I'm going to do everything in my power to bond with my mom in a way I never had before. I missed her for 25 years. I have my mom a mile from here right now. I'll pick her up today, take her to dinner today, and be with her every day. I'm going to honor that struggle and find the best greatness I can out of something really tragic. I got done with that. Four or five days with zero sleep, being with my mom, just trying to juggle for the edge. Go to the edge, rock the house, up late, up early, you know, getting up. Struggle, struggle. Would I change any of that? Would I rather said, I wish I just played small? I wouldn't. That edge was so much work, so much energy. No, hell with that. The struggle of getting that done. Look at the results it produced. If you were at the edge, you wanted to say, if you were at the edge. You know, exactly what we delivered there. The transformations. Oh, my God. There was a thousand people in that room that were completely transformed now. I mean, I saw your faces. That was worth every bit of that struggle. So instead of us saying, I can't believe I got to go through that. What if it's just the success tax? If you don't do the struggle, you don't get the benefits, Then all of a sudden you go, wow, I get to honor this struggle because look who I'm going to be on the other side of this. Who can I become after this struggle? Who can I be? What new terrain can I navigate? So nothing gets me off again. So the things that bug other people are nothing to me. Like, literally, I drive down the street, somebody cuts you off. I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, they give you the finger, yell at you. I have so much empathy. I'm like, oh, God, I wish you had bigger problems than that. Somebody comes and trips or, like, the littlest things. Ah, there's no ink in this pen. Or, my God, the Internet. Oh, my God, the phone's not working. The service here sucks. It's like, wow, I wish you had bigger problems. I wish you bigger problems. I wish you bigger struggles. Who gives a shit about your phone? Or somebody cut you off in traffic, or there's no ink in the pen, or the Internet goes out, or you're working on a document and you lose it. Who cares? It means nothing. Raise your standards. Raise your struggle. Raise your pain. Make it so the little things mean nothing and the things that are important to you that mean everything. What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them, and I'll see you there.
