How Dean Graziosi Turned His Deepest Pain Into Millions with Jillian Turecki
In this interview, Dean Graziosi shares a raw account of his abusive childhood, detailing how living with a violent father at age 12 led to severe stress, a bleeding ulcer, and a deep internal voice of fear. He explains how he recognized the patterns of his father's behavior, cultivated compassion, and deliberately broke the cycle to gain control over his own decisions. Graziosi outlines a four‑step mindset framework—purpose, overcoming fear, embracing change, and cutting through clutter—that he uses to help people shift from feeling stuck to taking decisive action. He illustrates the framework by describing the AI education company he co‑founded with Tony Robbins, created to give learners clear purpose and reduce overwhelm. The conversation also touches on the idea of creating programs for men to reconcile their inner child and strengthen relationships. Throughout, Graziosi emphasizes self‑honesty (“never lie to yourself”), the power of compassion, and the importance of aligning personal trauma with entrepreneurial drive to create wealth and fulfillment.
Chapters
The boy in me who is afraid of conflict, whenever conflict comes up, wants to run, hide, be quiet.
Today's episode going to be life-changing for you.
I just found a way to realize that when I go down that path, good things don't happen.
He teaches people how to overcome self-doubt, take control of their future, and create income through entrepreneurship.
The person you should never lie to is you.
I'm certain that it is going to be one of the best conversations you have ever heard about overcoming childhood trauma and and how to make money, starting with how you think about money.
And I really want you to hear this. Here's the part I want to share for everybody. I moved in with my dad when I was 12 because he was really violent and upset that I was living with my mom, and he terrorized my mom. I was 12, acting like a 30-year-old, and I said, Dad, this has to stop. Mom's freaking out. And he said, move in with me. Move in with me. I'll never bother your mother again. So I went inside and told my mom I wanted to live with my dad. She thought I was insane. He never bothered her again, but I moved in with this guy, and I'd never lived with him since I was 2 and a half years old. I saw him every other Sunday up until that point. I moved in with him. He didn't know how to handle his temperament. He fought with anybody, you know, a waitress, a waiter bringing the wrong thing. It was violence, violence, violence. And he was arrested a few times. But at 12 years old, I had a bleeding ulcer, and my grandmother took me to the doctors, and I wouldn't tell my dad because he'd freak out. But I had a bleeding ulcer from stress at 12. So it was deep. What I want to say is, the only reason I shared all that— not poor me— I share that because that voice still lives in me. I just learned how to hug him and say, I get it, but, but if I keep doing that, I'll end up like my dad, or I'll end up divorced again. I don't want to do so. I just got to break the pattern. So I can't listen to that voice right now, but it's still there. It's really— I'm just being courageous to not listen to what my instincts feel like they are. So what I want to say is I think I've built mechanisms to go, I hear that voice. I know I'm a little scared. My heart's racing, probably a little dopamine here, or the opposite, adrenaline hit. All those things are feeling it. But if I stay in it, I know that it's not as deep, it's not as crazy, and it's not as scary. Let's just do this. Like, I know it might sound like I'm crazy, but I still have the two voices inside. I just got this one. And The part that I think could help is they're still almost equal, but the part that makes me sit in it is maybe 5% stronger. Like, I think people go, God, you're so good at it now. I'm like, no, I'm not. Like, it'd only take one more hair to drop on the scale and I run out the door and be quiet for a week. Right? Totally. So I just hope people give themselves a little grace that, you know, maybe you're close to that tipping point now in whatever area you got to do. You just got to go a little bit over it. And the one that helped me the most that I probably learned from personal development and watching my parents is if I stay with that pattern, I just know I'm going to get the same results I used to have. That's my biggest lever. My biggest— the best tool in my toolbox is if I do it again, I'm going to get that same thing again. At least if I stay, I have an opportunity to deepen this relationship.
I'm so grateful you shared that because something that's like in the zeitgeist right now, which drives me insane, is this idea that one has to be healed. And it's not about— the healing is really in the courage. It's knowing your why.
That is so good. I'm gonna model that.
It's knowing your why, and the healing's in the courage. It's not about getting rid of this part of you or like never being triggered again.
Gillian, that's one of the greatest things I've ever heard. I mean that. No, it's true.
At what point did you make peace with your father, and how has that journey of making peace with him, if at all, helped you become a better businessman?
I knew his past more than anyone, and I found compassion for what he went through. And he just didn't get therapy. He was old-school Italian guy. I'm gonna get this, I'm gonna handle it, right? And he couldn't. And he pushed everybody away in his life. I talk about Tony, but he truly my dearest friend. Literally, he was the reason that I forgave my father completely. And it was because I was at a date with Destiny. A girl stands up, he's doing an intervention. She stands up and she shares about her dad. When her mother gave birth to her, they had complications and they had to do surgery. She can never have a baby again. And she said, my dad always wanted a boy and made me know about it all the time. Her dad was a swimmer. She goes, I took up swimming because of my dad. And she tells the story that she went to the state championship, got second place, looked up in the stands and her dad was gone. She had to walk home. And he said, how could any— how could you dare get second? So Tony gets all done and says, so you blame your dad for what went wrong? What if your dad was put in your life so you could be the woman you are today? If you're going to blame him for what went wrong, you better blame him for an amazing husband, amazing kids, amazing business, and you're here today dressed in the nines. I watched like 20 years fall off this woman's shoulders. Like, just— she got lighter. She looked like she got an inch taller. But what she didn't realize— when nobody— I'm like sitting there crying hysterical thinking, If my dad was any other human, I wouldn't be her father. I wouldn't have the business I have. I wouldn't be partners with Tony Robbins. I wouldn't have compassion for people. Like, I'll go on stage with Tony at 50,000 people and think I'm going to teach this, and I feel like I know what they need. I throw my script away and I lean into it. I have goosebumps. I had to learn how to read my dad when I was younger, or else he'd flip tables. I learned by the time I was 14, no more ulcer. I learned how to steer my dad in a better direction. All of those things. Now I look at them literally that day. I'm like, thank you, God, whatever your beliefs are. To me, it was like, thank you for that dad, because I love who I am today.
Maybe you should do something where you're helping men to reckon with that little boy inside of them and to step up and to strengthen their character in relationships.
I love it. Well, we should talk about it. You could help me structure it.
Yeah.
The person you should never lie to is you. Because I know I did. I really felt I was just put on this earth to show people a pattern. It doesn't mean I'm the smartest person in the world. I just am really good at recognizing patterns. And then when I want to fix it, I geek, I obsess on it. Like when we wanted to figure out AI, just honestly, I interviewed 50 AI experts in 90 days.
Wow.
And all I was looking for is I didn't want to become a techie. I was looking for patterns that they use that other people could have. And the same here in this, I just recognized what my dad did wrong and what the old version of me did wrong. One of the reasons I drove so hard for success is because I realized the way my dad acted, it also led to not having money, and money led my father's decisions. I drove so hard, one, to take care of my mom, but two, is I wanted to be in control of my decisions because I felt so out of control as a child. I couldn't make my choices. I'm like, I love Leo Rizzo. I love my living in the cul-de-sac. We left my BMX bike. My stepdad bought me a BMX bike. Like, we didn't pay for it. You got to leave. I'm like, I want my BMX bike. And all I can think about is what probably drove me, Julianne, is I just want to be in control of my decision. I guarantee that was a major driving force. Like, I didn't— I love my parents, but they weren't good at the decisions they made. I wanted to make my own decisions. Yeah, maybe I got lucky to be able to use that as fuel instead of an anchor. And I think about all the time, what was that shift and how— I mean, that's what I get to do for a living, is I want to find a way where other people can manufacture that fork in the road and say, this one feels more comfortable, this one's scary, but this one gives me an opportunity to heal. This one gives me opportunity to live into who I'm meant to be. This one allows me to unlock my creativity. It's scarier, but worth it rather than taking the road that feels more comfortable. So a lot of what we do is just helping people see a path, see a pattern of what's possible, and hopefully nudge them in an area that just allows them to, you know, make the shifts to live a little more fulfilled life.
So if someone right now is listening to this and maybe they are feeling unfulfilled in their job and they want to make a lot more money and they don't know which direction to go in, do you first work with their belief system and their mindset? I find that that's more important than anything else.
So can I get on now my business brain?
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it. Okay. If you don't— you're in amazing shape, but let's just say you had 20 pounds on you, wanted to get rid of.
Yeah.
And you're like, I've been trying, it's just hard. If I said to you, hey, I have a 30-day program, we can get that weight off. It's a process and a system nobody heard of, you might be intrigued. But if I said to you— how long has this been? Like 20 years of trying. If I said to you, hey, first thing we have to do is give you a bigger purpose on why you should lose it, then you got to come overcome the fear, then you got to embrace change, then we need you a— we'll get you a path that seems simple. You'd be like, I'm out, I don't need— I don't need a mindset, so I just need to lose the weight. But what I think— I think I get to do really well just because of the path I've gone is sometimes you have to sell people what they need. No, excuse me, you have to sell people what they want. Yeah, I just want to lose the weight, I want to feel healthier. But you got to give them what they need because if you don't shift— like, for example, Tony and I started an AI education company just to give people clarity. The reason we did is because there's so much overwhelm, because there's so much noise and should I get a ClawBot and an agent and should I get a Mac Mini and do the thing? You're like, oh my God, and you're freaking people out. And what Tony and I said is everybody's starting off on step 5. If you want to learn something like AI, first you need a purpose why you should learn it, bigger than just I need it because everybody's doing it. Like, hey, what if I used it to get 10 hours a week back? Okay, that's a good enough purpose. Man, I'm a little afraid of it. What if it goes down this road? What if it does this? What if it changes the world? What if it takes my autonomy, makes me less human? We got to overcome the fear and say, what if it makes you more human? What if it does the mundane stuff so you can get creative again? Oh, okay. I'm less afraid of it. 3, we got to get you to embrace change. Change— everybody thinks they want change. Change is hard, especially something that's moving. It's a moving target. You think you know, and then day later it's over. You're like, wait a minute, I was just trying to do this. And then 4, you got to cut through the clutter. And those 4 steps actually give us the opportunity to end then educate you. But if I said, hey, if you want to learn AI, first we got to get your purpose, like, but I don't— so sometimes you have to hide it underneath the covers, and then they don't realize why it worked when I listen to Jillian. Why did it work when I finally listened to her? Because you gave all those things. Whether you're doing it consciously or unconsciously, you're doing that. That's the only way you're getting people results, because a lot of the education is free on YouTube, right? People could get therapy, can read a book. Why isn't it working? Because you haven't climbed into their soul. The human condition and give people enough stamina to go, "You know what, this time I'm actually gonna do it." And I think that's the difference.
