How Do We Solve Big Problems That Seem Unsolvable?

So how do you solve big problems that seem unsolvable? We're going to tackle that today. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi Show. All success starts right here. Hey, it's Dean Graziosi. And welcome to this very special edition of the Dean Graziosi Show. As I'm recording this, the world is in chaos, Unlike anything I've ever seen in my 51 years being on this earth. And I want to share with you a framework on how we can solve big problems, how we can share this with others, how we can look through a different lens, how we can have more empathy and compassion and have the tools to make long lasting impact and change. And that's why I wanted to record this. I absolutely don't have all the answers, but I'm at a study of success. I've been a study of solving problems for over three decades and I hope I can share a little light on that. But first I have to address what's going on in the world. This is about solving problems. But I have to take two minutes and say, we've never seen anything like this. We went through COVID 19. That brought uncertainty, it brought fear. It crippled jobs, it took away industries, it stopped income, it kept us socially distanced and quarantined. Take that. Combine being home and fearful and then here in America, something absolutely horrific happens. George Floyd loses his life in a way that is unacceptable, in a way that is horrific. If you are human and part of the human race, it is unacceptable. Zero excuses. Zero. No way to talk around it. It's just in our face on film. And if you're human, you got sick to your stomach, you got sad, you got angry. And it's time we work on solutions. Not waiting for someone else to fix this, not judging whether people should be protesting or looting or robbing. What if we just parked all that and said there is injustice? It's been going on for way too long. However, we're trying to fix this problem for decade after decade is not working. We have evolved as a society and are emotionally intelligent enough to come together as one and fix this once and for all. I want to be the generation that by the time it gets to my kids and they're my age, they say I was alive during the time when a generation stood up and said, no more, enough is enough. And this is unacceptable. Listen, I don't have the answers and there's people way smarter than me that can deliver a message on how to fix this. That's an absolute fact. But here's what I do Know, I personally can do more. I raise my family in a way that I think is so powerful. My children don't see color in our family the way the friends we have, the conversations we have, the books we've read. I think we've done an amazing job. But it's not enough. It's not enough if you're not racist. It's not enough. It's not enough if you're not looking through the lens of what other people are dealing with. It's not enough. It's not enough if the media now is in front of your face and you want to do something. But then when the media dies down, we just go back to our life and leave the problem out there. Listen, I don't care where you stand, what religion you are, if you're Democrat, Republican, conservative or liberal, this is a problem and we must come together to fix it. And it doesn't matter what people say. It doesn't matter what beliefs you used to have. It's a time to say, this is the generation that now. Now, with that said, I want to contribute right now and share what I believe are the steps to solve big problems. Listen, being an entrepreneur, being in business, I've solved lots of problems. Not as big as this one. Won't even try to compare. Won't pretend that I understand. I'll just say that this is a framework that I've seen solves so many things, and I want to give it to you today. Okay, you ready? Number one, identify your beliefs around the problem. You see, so many times we get too tactical. We take the George Floyd situation and so many others. I see all of them in the news. And I've. I've said prayers. I've talked to my children about it every time. But this one, this is this. This got me to where I must take action. Right. But I want you to think about something. We always think of the tactical. We need to probably I'm just obvious that we need to train police officers in a different way. Now, I believe most police officers are good, but there can't even be one bad one. There can't even be one that makes a mistake. There can't even be one that's prejudiced, not one that's racist, not one. So there has to be a different way. That's a tactical process. Right? And there's probably a million other. And so many people's brains go to that. Right. But what if we went upstream a little and said, how do we solve a problem if we have internal beliefs that don't allow us to really get to a solution. If you feel that it's unfixable. If you have a belief that was inserted to you by your parents or grandparents from a different generation, from a different time, from a different perspective, even though you've cleansed a lot of it, is it still deep down holding you back from really looking into this problem the way you need to? If you have a belief that, that people should step up, that they're not doing their part, then you've kind of covered that belief, but it's still there. All the little beliefs that stop you from doing what you need to do are the ones we must identify and try to clear. That's just that. So what I'm going to say is, can you approach the problem as if you're brand new to this world, as if you are an investigative reporter looking at both sides? Can you in step two, can you put the glasses on of the other side? Can you put the glasses on of the person that's having the most pain, the most problems? Listen, this works in relationships with your children, your husband, your wife, people you work with. But we're talking about one big situation right now. Can you look through the lives, through the eyes of someone else, but really put yourself in those shoes? Imagine being in that situation. I don't know what it's like and I can't even imagine like of how Mr. Floyd must have felt sitting there begging for his life. I don't think it would ever happen to me. I don't think it'll ever happen to my children. I don't want to feel guilty for being a white man. I don't want my children to feel guilty for being white. You know, I want my children to feel guilty about, you know what I want to, I need to feel guilty about is if I'm not doing my part to change this forever. And I believe that's all of us. I don't think we should feel guilty if we're white, brown, black. We should feel guilty with the lack of action or the lack of standing up for what's right. So how do we do that? We must look through the lens of the other person. We have to because we have to question our beliefs. We have to question every bit of our habits. We have to question if we just kind of ignore it and can't wait for it to go away, we have to question all that. That's with any problem. If you just ignore it with your wife, ignore it with your co workers, does it go away or does it Build until somebody freaking snaps. Until somebody, until looting happens and craziness. Listen, I'm an entrepreneur through and through. I hate seeing small businesses being attacked and I hate seeing so many African American businesses being attacked after Covid. That is devastating. And I wish it didn't happen. But I'm trying. I mean, I'm being honest. I'm trying not to judge that. I have to say, I judge sometimes when I see 22 year old white kids with hoodies on doing it and literally they ask them why they're doing it and I think they're just robbing. Right. We could have those emotions. But you know what? I have to throw that out because if I do that, then I can go upstream and say, well, they shouldn't rob and they shouldn't loot and if they're really upset, like I go down that path. But why? That's not going to solve the problem for any of us. Listen, if I'm sharing my own personal beliefs right now, I'm sharing the process on how I look through this, then so be it. If you're a part of my DG family, my KBB family, you're listening to my podcast for the first time, I'm just giving a different perspective on how to look at this situation. But also use this to solve all problems in your life. We can't solve a problem if we're stuck on our beliefs. We can't solve a problem if we don't put ourselves in the shoes of the other looking back at us. You want to fight. You're Republican, you want to fight with a Democrat, stand in the eyes of a Democrat. If you're Christian and you are friends with somebody Jewish and you can't understand, put yourself in those shoes. All I know is every time I do that, every time I get to navigate new territory in my mind, I feel like I've. I've cleansed my soul. And I feel like a better human. Listen, I want to be a great example for my children. I want them to be a part of the human race who stand up for what's right, who do not tolerate injustice, who do not tolerate racism for even a moment. And how do I do that is by becoming a better version of me. Lastly is what if you really felt like you could visualize the experience that the other person has gone through? Would you have rage? Would you want to scream out? Would you want to break windows? Would you want to be heard? Would you feel like somebody's got, you know, their hands on your shoulders holding you down from Being the human you were supposed to be, all those emotions, how would you feel now when you get in that place? Then this is the hard part. Now, I have to be honest, I've never taught this before. I was going through today how I personally solve big problems in my life, right? And I've done this even my childhood, right? And no way am I comparing, but my parents were married nine times. Between them, we moved 20 times. We lived in trailer parks. We got evicted. I lived in a bathroom with my dad. My family comes from multiple years, multiple generations of dysfunction. Physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse. In some cases, my dad went through terrible sexual abuse. Things like generation after generation of pure dysfunction. These are some of the same tactics me and my sister, my sister and I should say both used to end that. My sister has two amazing children. It ended with her. The problem from generation after generation, it got to me and my sister. It's over. It stopped with me and my kids. I'm in the best relationship of my life. My children are thriving. They're really productive, awesome young human beings that are going to make an impact on the world who will never allow injustice to be in front of them without taking action. Same with my nephews. My sister and I solved the big problem of multiple generations of pure dysfunction in the Graziosi family. It doesn't exist anymore. My kids don't even know about it. I mean, they know, I'm saying they don't live it. So can we. That gives me hope. Can we take a problem that's existed for so long, look at it through a different lens and say, enough is enough. This is the generation that fix it, fixes it. And after us, this will change. I think we can. Maybe I'm a dreamer, right? But this is the part I think we really. That's hard. But we must, after we identify our beliefs and try to crush those or shift the beliefs after we live in the mind of the other person, if we look through their glasses, we live in their experiences. The next thing we have to de escalate, if that's a word, our emotions. I've never made a good decision when I'm emotional. I've yelled at my son when I was emotional, mad as hell. And a half hour later, I'm up in his room saying, dude, I'm so sorry. What you did, I didn't appreciate. But the way I handled it was stupid. I handled it the way my dad handled it, and that wasn't right. So let's talk. Every time I make a decision or try to Fix something. When I'm emotional, I make dumb decisions. So we have to find a way to take the emotions out. We have to find a way to look at this through a more logical sense, through the eyes of solution based thinking. And it's hard to do when we're fuzzy with anger. The next thing, if we're gonna solve something right, we have to get emotional about it. Logics are the tactics that help us. We need those, we need the steps. But if your emotions aren't behind it, you'll never push all the way through. So what I believe is we need to think, what will happen if we don't fix this problem? What will happen if we don't fix it? What is the worst case scenario? Do we want something to happen to another black man or African American kid in 10 years from now because we didn't step up? Do we want to go through this all again? This has been going on since, since I can remember every 10, 15 years. Isn't it time that that stops? And what if it's somebody in your family? What if it was someone in your family? Can you really look your children or your friends or your family in the eyes and say, I just ignored this, I was hoping someone else fixed it? How will it feel if in 10 years from now you look back because we didn't do anything or you didn't do anything in the problem you are facing and it's still the same, if not worse. So I believe we must face worst case scenario from our lack of action. What is the worst thing that could happen? This could get worse. That's unacceptable. So after I write down what could be the worst case scenario and I would physically write all these things down and you look at it and say that's not acceptable, then you write down what is the best case scenario? What is the best case scenario? If we step up, if we solve this problem, if we work together, if we shift our beliefs, if we look through the lens of the other person, if we use compassion and empathy over anger and rage, what is the best case scenario? What would it look like in 10 years from now? What would it look like in 20, 40 years from now? If we decide to take action today, what will that look like? Write it down. What could be an amazing scenario for 10 years from today if we take action now, if we plant the seeds right? An oak tree still starts from a tiny seed. We always got to plant the seed. Why not start planting those seeds right now so we can look back in 10 years and be proud? Right now Again, I'm talking about the current situation. I'm giving my advice. Like I said, there's people way smarter than me. But I believe this is how we have to look at this problem. Because what we've been doing is not working with people way smarter than me. And I'm not trying to simplify it. This is complex as hell. So complex. And I don't want to sit here like I got the solutions, I don't. All I know is sometimes I think we complicated. I talk to so many people. I've got tens of thousands of dms. So many people I believe are making it over complicated. We need to look through the lens of the other person. We need to, we need to align with compassion. We need to pull out all the love that we have. We need to come together and decide. Listen, let me ask you something. In this current situation, when you see rioting, when you see someone getting pepper sprayed in the face or a car running into somebody or, or, or somebody getting hurt, I don't know about you, does it make you want to like throw? I get sick, like, sick to my stomach. Like I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know exactly what steps to take. I don't want to say the wrong thing and offend anybody. When I'm trying to share through my heart, I get all like, I, I don't know exactly what to do. I know it just causes really weird emotions. But when you see African American men holding their arms together, protecting a target or protecting a white cop, or seeing a cop and a protester hugging, how does that make you feel? It could bring tears to my eyes. Right, because we see love and we see compassion. Is it really that difficult? I know we have rage from the past, I know we have resentment. But if we keep doing what we were doing, we're going to keep getting what we already have. And that's not working. So we must look at the best case scenario and we must put those beliefs aside. We must look through both sides and we must find a way to come together. And then the last part is, what actions can you take now? Not just think through it, not just shift the beliefs, not just look through other people's eyes, not try to de escalate the emotions, not just write down worst and best case scenarios. The last thing, what are the three action steps you could take over the next three to five days? Write them down, put a timeline on and go make it happen. Do the post, shoot the video, tell a friend get people on your side, look through the lens of other people. What can you do over the next three days? And then the last piece is write down what the success criteria is of solving this problem. You personally, me personally, we can't solve the problem on our own, but we could solve the little problems. If the success criteria was you had three people on your side to decide to come together and work together, that you the success criteria, that you read three books to really understand what people are going through, that you looked at the hard news, that maybe you found more empathy, maybe you stopped listening to your racist friend, I don't know. But you could set the success criteria and then measure it. Once you have the three steps, you can look back and say yes I did this, yes I did this. Check those three things off and set three more things to do. You see, here's what I do know. This will show my brilliance. How to not solve a problem is to just keep doing the same thing we used to be doing and expect a different result. Is now what Einstein said the definition of insanity was Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If we want a different outcome, we need to do something different. I say let's check our beliefs. Let's live inside the other person's mind, soul, heart, try to try the best of our ability to see the experiences they've had. Let's write down our wins. Let's write down the things that are unacceptable anymore. Let's de escalate the emotions to the best of our ability so we can think clearly. Clearly to be focus driven on getting the results, solution based thinking. Then write down the things you're going to go after now and take action on them and then measure your success and do it all over again. Hey, I'm Dean Graziosi. Thank you for listening. Thank you for hearing my perspective on solving big problems. I don't have all the answers. I am not an expert at this but I do have a heart. I pray and I hope we can come together as the human race and solve a problem that needs to be solved. What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them and I'll see you there. It.