How To Be a Better Parent

Could listening more than talking actually be a key to making more money, to more happiness, to more joy, to more peace in your life, to bringing the right kind of people into your inner circle? Hey, this is season one, episode one of Lessons for My Kids. Now, I've been wanting to do this for a long time, so I don't care if you have kids. If you are a kid, you're gonna wanna watch this because this is from the heart. I'm talking to my son, Brody, and my daughter Brianna, and future children that I might have now that I'm getting married again as I'm filming this, getting married again in a couple weeks. And we're going to try for children. So I've been thinking about giving these lessons and doing a private video series for my kids as they go through life. But then I said, why do that? I want to share it with the world. And I have over 127 lessons already documented that I'm going to share with you week after week after week. So. So again, these are the lessons for my kids. Hey, Brianna, Brody, future children. What's up? Maybe you're watching this when you're 40, 50, 60, and I'm already gone. But these are the little things that I learned through being an entrepreneur for over 35 years of my life. By failing miserably, by being stressed out and sleepless nights and losing friends, to also having some of the greatest accomplishments that I never thought were possible. Guys, I was able to create success in areas that everyone told me I couldn't. They told me I was crazy and it wouldn't work. And I want you to have this. All of you, My children, if you're watching this right now, maybe you should send your children, send your friends. And today's lesson, the first one ever out of my 127 that I've identified so far. And that list is going to get much bigger because I don't plan on ever stopping this until my eyes closed permanently is listening more than you talk. Now, most people have heard that, but I really want you to understand we live in a society now more than ever, where I don't know if we're listening or we're just waiting for the other person to shut up so we could talk. We're in a society now that it's okay to look at your phone while someone's talking to you, to not look them in the eyes, to not be actively listening. Listen, I'm going to share this with you, Brody. And again, for everybody, as I talk to my children, I'M talking to you, Brody. You were way harder than Bri as you were growing up. Brianna, my daughter, we just had this immediate bond. We communicated the same way. We talked the same way. Everything just jived. I love you both the same. I have the best relationship with both of you, but you were different. Brody and I had a dear friend of mine, Dr. Daniel Amen. Say to me once, when you feel disconnected to Brody, because I was talking to him. I said, sometimes I feel like I'm not connecting with him. I'm speaking Spanish, he's speaking French, and we're not talking. He's like. When that happens, you know what you have to do is shut this. Shut your mouth and open these ears and do 30 minutes of active listening. Don't barely talk. Just let him share. And the more you just sit there looking into his eyes, on his level, not looking at your phone, the more he'll open up. Now, I figured, Dr. Amen. He's smart as heck. He's one of the top psychiatrists in the world. Number one brain scan doc in the world. I said he's smart. I'll try it. I thought I had done this before, but I really haven't. And when I sat with Brody and did nothing but listen, he doesn't even know I've been doing this till now. If I was playing Legos with him when he was younger, or Nascar or playing baseball with him, and I just listened. Oh, my God. He would just keep going. And then he'd tell me about his friends, and then he'd tell me what's bugging him. And then he'd tell me something else, and then something else. And we'd have this amazing bond. And I'm listening. Fifteen minutes, 30 minutes later, he's on my lap, they're giving me hugs or holding my hand, and we're having this amazing time. And all I did was shut my mouth and listen. We live in a world where everybody wants to prove who they are. I get that. Everybody wants to share their knowledge, what their values are, and what they can do for you. And in most cases, it takes these to win. I'm pointing to my ears in case you're listening to this. And this evolves, guys, to everything in life. I hope you both. I hope my kids work for themselves their whole lives. I hope you find something that fills your heart and your soul and let money be the byproduct. But I promise you, if you don't persuade and get people to say yes, whether that's in your own company or Working in another company. And you want to evolve and make more impact on the world. Mother Teresa persuaded people, Martin Luther King persuaded people, got people to take action, to make a huge difference in the world. If you don't persuade and don't get people to take action, you'll never reach the level of life that I think you'll want. At least I hope, as my children. You're fighting for growing, you're fighting for impact. You're fighting for, like I said, growth. But more of you're fighting for service, to give back to the world, to help others, to provide the product, the services that change industries. And if you do that, you're going to have to sell now at another time. I'll teach you about selling in this one. I want to talk about listening your dads and from my talking to my kids. But I'm talking to all of you. I could be your uncle. I could be your cousin, I could be your brother, whatever you think is the greatest way to negotiate, the greatest way to win an argument, the greatest way to persuade someone is to listen. To listen four times as much as you currently are. When I walk into a boardroom to close a deal, man, I am armed with my years of experience. I'm armed with my failures, my success. I'm armed with rehearsing exactly what I want to do. I'm armed with the knowledge of what I want the deal to look like. But what most people do is go in armed with that and then vomit it up. Hey, everybody. Yes. Let me just tell you what we got here. We're putting this deal together. We can do this, and you can do that, and you can do that having no clue what everybody in the room is thinking. I surely wasn't this way in my 20s. That's why I'm doing these videos, so you guys can go faster. But now, when I walk into a conference room and I want to close a deal, or I walk into a boardroom where a deal's going to happen, or I walk into a restaurant where I'm negotiating to sign the contract or make this happen the way I want it to happen, I walk in and shut my mouth and I listen. Sometimes I'll ask some qualifying questions, like how could this be a win for all of us? And I'll shut up. And just like the act of listening with you or my son Brody, they'll just keep talking and talking. And when they talk past the comfortable zone, then they'll go into talking about what their fears are or what their goals are or their Desires are or why they need this deal or why they want it to happen, or finances are tight or I'm moving or I'm going through a divorce or I got to make this happen or I'd be really happy. I admire you. I want to be your partner. I want to make an impact on the world, like people will tell you. And then all of a sudden you know exactly what you're playing with. You know what their goals are, you know what their fears are. And if you do it ethical, and I'm going to share this with everybod, if you do it ethical and do it right, sometimes they tell you what they're looking for. So much and so clear and you can't provide it. This deal won't do it. You'll be over promising or it's not the direction you want to go. And I want to give you the ability, the ethics, the empathy to say no to those deals that aren't in alignment. Because when you use this strategy of listening more than you're talking, men that are 50, 40, 30 women, professionals will vomit up will tell you exactly how you can close the deal by just listening. So I'm going to encourage you, this is so powerful that I'm going to encourage you that if it doesn't make sense, say no. Have the nerve to walk away, even if it puts money in your pocket, but it doesn't serve your soul or serve the world, walk away. But if you really want that deal, listen to what their fears are, overcome them. Listen to what their challenges are. Help them through them. Listen what their dreams and goals are and help them solve them. And you will get the deal 100% of the time. All right, thanks so much for being here. That's my lesson today. Listen more than you talk about four times more than you're currently doing is what I believe is the equation. And get ready for the next episode.