How to be CONFIDENT in any situation [winner strategy]

I want to invoke some things to awaken the confidence monster in you, that we can go out and be an active participant in not only our own success, but help solve bigger problems. Don't think about confidence as a scale of 1 to 10. Like, if I have a 1 out of 10, my confidence is low. If I have a 10 out of 10, my confidence is high. I believe if 10 is your max confidence, you're not living into your full potential. If you're at a nine, have you ever had a good day when your confidence is low? Have you ever made the sale when your confidence is low? Have you ever convinced your children or your spouse what they should be doing? When your confidence is low? Right. When your confidence is low, it's more like, ah, you know, I think we should. You question yourself. What are some of the byproducts of low confidence? Low confidence to me is the incubator for imposter syndrome. Can we agree on that? Right. Your confidence is low. You start saying, oh, I don't know if I can do this. I've tried in the past and I failed. I procrastinate. Maybe it's not the right time. Look at all the chaos. Maybe I should just sit and wait. How do we manifest and create confidence so we become the best version of us? That we become unstoppable, that we control, that we make sure that we are the thermostat of life. Not an easy task. That's why I wanted to talk about it today and the reason I'm talking about it today. It's probably what I heard from people I know, even people that are successful in business, successful in life and happy. What I've heard more in the last 30 days is people's confidence being down, confidence in our future, confidence on where things are going, confidence in not understanding how to maneuver. And if we're going into winter, which all the experts in the world believe with inflation, stability, stagnation, where all the things that are going and not ending soon that we are heading into winter, meaning a shift in the economy more than we thought during a recession. And I'm not, I'm not a financial expert. I'm not going to predict the future. I'm not an economist. I'm just giving my opinion. If we go into a winter, does everybody starve in winter? Do all businesses go down? Do all people struggle? You know, some people, Tony says this. Some people in winter ski and snowboard and ride their snowmobile, right? Like some people have thrive in winter. But those that thrive in my Opinion. In my dear friend and brother Tony's opinion, those that thrive, it's not just the business you're in, of course, that has a big impact on it, right? But it's really the mindset you have as it shifts. Because when that shifts, when things change, people get more scared, their confidence goes down even more, and they sit on their hands and wait for things to get better. Warren Buffett says, when everybody says yes, say no, and when everybody says no, say yes. That's when opportunity comes. The biggest opportunities come during a shift, right? Don't you, don't we all respect quiet confidence? Not the loudest person in the room, not the most outgoing person in the room. The person that you look at and go, wow, if something went sideways, I'm going to team up with that person. I'm going to be on her team. Like, you know, you want that quiet confidence where nobody knows you're in the room, but if something goes sideways, you're like, follow me. I got this. Right? And how do we build that? Like, that's. I teach my kids that all the time. I teach non stop. How do we. How do we manifest and create this quiet confidence that people just know, right? They just know. So in fact, when my wife, when we. My wife and I got married, she built this. She found this, the Graziosi crest. I don't know how you do it, but you can find crests of family all the way back to Italy. And she found this cool crest and she, like, had an artist, like, adjust it and tweak it for our love and put both our names in it. And then across the bottom of the crest, it says quiet confidence. That's how important it is to me in my life. I also, I'm gonna share one more thing. Cause I. You guys might get sick of it. Sorry. It's such a big thing in my life, and it's a really easy thing to use as an analogy is my kids playing baseball. And both of them have played since they were little. I want to talk about my son Brody. His game, just two and a half weeks ago, he played with his school. So he's on a travel team. And he's also on his middle school team. And on his middle school team, they're such his buddies that I watch my son get in his head that he wants to do better and he tells himself, I got to do better. No, he tells himself, I don't want to screw up. I. I don't want to look bad in front of my buddies, that I'm with Every single day and a week, week and a half ago, I'm driving him to his game, and the whole ride there, he's like, man, if anybody on the team misses a ball or you strike out, they bust your chops all week in school. And he's telling. And I'm listening to this conversation in his head, and he is so deep in his head saying, I cannot mess up today, dad. I cannot strike out today, dad. And I'm thinking to myself, do I give him a 10 minute lesson on the. The words you say is the outcome you get because they are so sick of Dean Graziosi being their dad sometimes. Because I can't help but give them a lesson. So I said, hey, bud, just remember, what you focus on is what you get. He's like, I know, Dad. I just. And I could see his confidence was gone. My son, he is not. I will not say he is not the superstar on his team, but he is consistently good. He is a good ball player, will bat first, play second base or pitches. He is the anchor you want on your team. He is just the stable kid. I watched him go out there telling himself that he shouldn't mess up, telling himself what could go wrong. And he had the worst game I've seen him play in a year. It was horrific. He missed two balls. He struck out twice. My son never strikes out. And he got back in the car and he's like, that was a really rough game. And I don't yell at him. I don't make him feel bad. He's already punishing himself, right? And all I said to him, I said, bud, what was missing in this game? He's like, my confidence. I'm like, I know. I said, dude, are you a badass? He's like, I don't know. I kind of messed up. I said, you've been playing since you're four. Either you are just wasting my time because I have to go to three games and practices a week, or you're pretty damn good. I said, I didn't want to say this before because you didn't want to hear it, but what about your next game? Before you go, you have a mantra or an incantation of like, I've been playing for five years. I've been playing for eight years. I'm a badass. I'm good. I can do this. I'm gonna. I hope a ball gets hit to me. Not I hope I don't miss it. I hope a fast. I hope a fastball comes even faster because it'll go even Farther rather than. I hope it's not too fast. I hit curveballs rather than. Curveballs are kind of new now that everybody's 13. Like I said, I know this is hard to say, but what story we tell ourselves is what we get. And I just pounded that into his head subtly all week. And two days ago, he had the best game ever. And he had a smile and he was enjoying himself. And when he got done with the game, I said, hey, did you automatically get so much better at baseball? He's like, no. I said, then what the heck was difference between last week? Because last week you look like a kindergartner, now you look like a high school player. What's the difference? I said, you didn't do way more practicing, you didn't grow a foot. What's different, dude? He's like just the way I thought about it and I want to train him on that. And he's not going to be perfect and he's not always going to want to listen to his dad. But as adults, don't we all need that? Because it never changes. The day you close the deals, get the girl, get the guy, make it happen, sell your first sale. And the day that you want to hide and you're depressed and feel like an imposter, you are still the same person in both of those days. But one you have evoked the hero within that can do anything. And one, you woke up the villain that lives inside of it that says we're not good enough, we have self doubt and we're imposters. Is that true or true? But I want to invoke some things to awaken the confidence monster in you, that we can go out and be an active participant in not only our own success, but help solve bigger problems. Because we all know if we want to change the economy in the world, let's change the economy in our homes. We want to change the global conversation. We change that in our homes, we change it in ourselves. We want to create new, bigger, empowering stories that tap into our full potential. It all starts with us. So with that said, you guys ready for a little lesson on confidence today? We ready to juice up our confidence. Sheldon Wagner, always love having you there with the bullet. Bullseye. Behind you. Good to see you, man. All right, so when it comes to confidence, I think, I think we overthink it. And I don't want to simplify it too much, but I want to start with a really simple statement. There are things that rob our confidence without us knowing. And there are things that Empower us to have confidence. Is that true? Is there things that rob your confidence and things that empower it? Right. So to not oversimplify, to not oversimplify it, how do we identify the confidence robbers? You ready for this? And do what? Less of them. And how do we identify the things that empower us? And what do we do? More of it? Right. I'm not trying to oversimplify it. You're probably like duh. But let's remind ourselves, let's be an investigative reporter today and figure out in a crazy world on the outside, what are the things that rob our confidence? What if we went upstream a little bit? Right. For those of you who've known me for a long time, I always like to go think of going upstream because if we solve the problem, the fire, that fuels fear or that fuels self sabotage or fuels self doubt, if we can find the cause of it, can't we stop it in advance? Right. And I'm going to tell the story that I heard Tony say probably a decade ago and I've shared it before, but it was talking about the medical field, but I always love this. He said a doctor pulls in to the parking lot and there's a stream running around the back of the school. And the doctor pulls in and he sees somebody splashing around in the stream, drowning, and he swims out and saves the person. And all of a sudden there's another person, he swims out and every time someone pulls into the parking lot, the doctor is grabbing other doctors saying, hey guys, come over here. Look at all these people in the water, we got to save them. And more people are going out and they're trying to grab them and they're bringing them in and they go back out and all of a sudden another doctor pulls in and it could be any of it, doesn't have to be a doctor, just the way I heard the story, another doctor pulls in, he sees, they say come help me. And he gets back in his car and starts driving away. And they're like, hey, why are you driving away? I thought you were going to help us. He's like, I'm going to drive upstream and see who's throwing these people in the water and stop it. That's why I always say what's happening? What can we do upstream? Instead of us trying to get the people out of the water, let's go find who's throwing them in. Stop that. And then we don't have to save anyone. What can we find or identify that causes you to have self doubt? Feel like an imposter. Be fearful. Be scared. Be depressed. Have anxiety. What is the most costly advice in the world? Bad advice. There's nothing worse than bad advice in the world. I know I say it too lightly, but if we really think about it, right, it's your broke friend telling you how to make money, your single friend telling you how to fix your relationship, your miserable friend telling you how to be happy, your negative friend telling you how to shift your thoughts, right? We unfortunately take advice from people we love or people we're around, or people we surround ourselves with. Even if we don't believe it, if it comes in enough, all we need, remember we said confidence isn't a 0 to 10 game, it's a 10 to 9 game. So I want you to write this word down right now. Confidence gets destroyed by accumulation, by accumulating small pieces that build, that suppress your confidence, right? It's not an all one thing. Your negative friend says, why would you want to start a business now? The economy's going to crash, the world is at war, Gas is up, inflation's up, costs are up. What the hell? Why would you start a business now? That's so stupid. Your broke friend, right? Or the one that hates his job or hates her job is telling you that, right? But she's your friend. She loves you. She's telling you that. And you're like, she doesn't get it. She's not a part of the community. She doesn't have what I have. But it builds a little, right, and starts stacking up. So the first thing I want to share with you is where are you getting bad advice? What people are you surrounding yourself with that are giving or slowly casting shadows of doubt? Where are you getting shadows of doubt? See, sometimes the people in your lives sleep next to you at night that are doing this to you. Sometimes it's your parents, sometimes it's relatives, sometimes it's your friend. And you can't just boot them out of your life. But I've shared this before. What you're going to have to do is become Teflon. Or you're going to have to even get more creative and find ways to shift the conversation. You cannot let anyone climb inside your mind. Find. Find a way to deflect. Be Teflon, find a new story. And when you're done, you can give them love and move on. What's up? What's up? Hey, don't forget to look at the action steps we've posted below. They are the perfect way to take your success, abundance in this crazy world to a whole nother level, Sam.