How to IMPROVE your COMMUNICATION SKILLS *IMMEDIATELY*
Dean Graziosi argues that better communication starts with listening and understanding what others actually care about: their goals, fears, and dreams. He shows how this shifted his relationships with his kids and wife, then explains how to apply it in business by finding your audience and matching your message to what matters to them.
Chapters
The communication skills you think you have right now that are good, they could be better. If you would have asked me in my 40s about if I was a good communicator, I would have said one of the best in the world because I can close deals. Great. I also went through a divorce in my 40s. How good of a communicator was I? If you have more than one child, who in here has two children that are completely different even though they were raised the same? Same DNA, like night and day. My daughter is like a warm cup of coffee. Like, it is so easy to communicate with my daughter. Whatever I say, we flow, we jive, we think alike. My son, oh my God, he's the smartest kid I've ever seen. Way smarter than me. And everything I said along this journey of my son, who's now 13, There was years of greatness and there'd be three months of hell. Because, man, it was like I talked Spanish to him. What did I had to do? The same things I'm sharing with you. I had to listen more. I had to live inside of his mind. I had to understand him better, I had to ask more questions. I had to set up things so I could really understand. He was speaking Spanish and I had to get translations right. The next thing I want to share with you is in your business, whatever business, I hope you're in the self education industry, I hope you're already making sales or on your way to making sales or whatever business you're in. You must find groups of people that are your ideal demographic. You have to find your ideal demographic and get in those groups and everything we just said, ask the questions, see what the common threads are. See, I don't want to oversimplify this, but we really must know if we're going to call our future clients our prospects, we must live inside the mind of our prospect. And that really is just knowing two things. What are their biggest goals, dreams and desires. So what are their goals and what are their biggest fears and worries? We got to know that you want to communicate with somebody, know what their biggest fears and worries are? My 13 year old, he doesn't want to look stupid in front of his friends, is one of his biggest worries. He doesn't want his dad to have his arm around him and kiss him anymore and try to hold his hand. Right? Like, I understand his biggest fear. His biggest fear is that he likes this girl and she might like someone else who's older or taller. Like I'm learning his fears when I also know his goals. But I do that in business. I want to know your biggest fears. I know if you're in the self education industry, I know one of the biggest fears is being an imposter. You feel like you're not good enough to do it. You feel like you need permission. You feel like there's people smarter than you. You feel too old and technology's too hard. You feel like you missed your window. You feel like marketing is too hard. I know all those fears. But you also have the dream of impacting others, making money from home, being in something you could be proud of, changing people's lives, being on stage someday, or having a big audience online. I know your fears. I know your dreams. And every single week I try to start squash your fears, overcome them and deliver you the tools to get to where you want to be. So many of you, every one of you is successful in your own way. Don't we want more success? Even if success is just being happier, joyful, more love, happiness, intimacy, passion, freedom. This is part of it. There's no magic wand. There's no get rich quick button. Have intimacy button. Kids love you to death button. There just isn't. If it was, I'd mass produce them and I'd mail them to all of you. But these are the things we gotta do when we communicate. If we're doing it face to face or on video, don't be one size fits all is really what I want to say. Match the room, match the person you're dealing with. Right. Some people are slow and more methodical and more logical. Some people are high energy and like the rabbit, just give it to me, tell me what I need to know in the next 10 minutes and I'll be yes or no. That's me. Like I. I am not the law. I get things really quick, or at least I believe I do. It's like, tell me what you're thinking, tell me what the outcome could be and I'll let you know. My sister, who's more logical based. You'd have to sit with my sister for a good hour and explain. You know, if Laura, you're selling one on one coaching, you could say to me, hey, I'm a coach on how to be a better parent. I know how to get through the teenage years better than anyone else. If we work together once a week, your kids will love you. You'll be connected and bonded more. More than anything else. Good, done. You talk to my sister? She'd say, so. What are your references? What have you done in the Past, how long have you been doing this? She'd still say yes at the end. But you'd take an hour to sell my sister. You'd take exactly six minutes max to sell me match. Figure that out. Figure out how to sell the room, how to communicate with someone on the other side. I know my daughter. I literally can give my daughter like a quick little two sentence lesson and she's like, that makes sense, dad. My son will be like, that doesn't make any sense, Dad. I do not understand. What the hell does that mean? Like, same message, completely different. I got to spend more time with him, with my wife, man, all I got to do with my wife is listen, know that she's loved. Let her real, let her know that I truly, not just hyperbole or fake, I truly love what she loves. And what's important to her is important to me. If I let my wife know what's important to her is important to me. If I let her be seen, if I let her be heard, damn, I got the best wife in the history of the world. She spoils me rotten when I forget to do that. I'm a different place. So where do you need to step up your communication skills? Is it with your spouse or significant other? Is it with your children? Is it with your co workers? Is it with your team? Is it with your potential clients? Is it with your current clients? Is it your future clients? If we don't change our communication, if I didn't change my community, the last thing I'm going to share here is if I didn't change my communication with my son Brody. I share it now because we have a great relationship. And I'm not talking about this last 13 year old hiccup. I went through a really weird phase from like 7 to 9 with my son and then again at 10 for a little while is I really couldn't figure him out. At least that's what I told myself. It's like everything I did just was like oil and water. And I just, I found myself a couple times yelling at him and freaking out. Anybody yell at your kid or raise your voice and you go downstairs, you're like, what a jackass I am. Like, that was the dumbest thing in the world. Why the hell would I yell? It didn't solve or serve in any way possible. And I have to tell you, there was a point where I said, wow, I'm never going to be close to my son Brody. He's going to be one of those kids that goes away to college, never comes back. And on Christmas I get a card, maybe a text. Literally. There was times where I thought that because it was so difficult. And if I didn't address that, if I didn't understand the code of Brody and learn how to communicate with him, that's possibly what could have happened. And there's no way in hell I'm going to go out. Maybe it happens, but I'm going to go down fighting. And I am going to be the person that learns, grows, and shifts our communication. But take that for all areas of your life. If we don't understand the way our prospect, our future clients are thinking, in today's world, you're going to miss it. If you don't communicate with the right messaging in your marketing, you're going to miss it. If you don't communicate to get your spouse or significant other on board to support this mission you're on, you're going to miss it. If you don't shift your communication with your children, your sister, your spouse, your friends, you, you're going to miss it. So that's why I wanted to plant this little seed today. It's not that complicated. Put on their glasses, Walk in their shoes. Allow them to feel understood. Listen more. Understand their dreams, understand their goals, understand their fears and their biggest worries. What's up? What's up? Hey, don't forget to look at the action steps we've posted below. They are the perfect way to take your success abundance in this crazy, crazy world to a whole nother level.
