How To KILL The WORRY In Your Life

I want you to think of before I start talking about worry and how to kill worry and why, what it does to you, what it does to your success. I want you to start thinking about right now. If you have a piece of paper or even on your phone, write down what you feel your biggest worry you're facing right now is. Welcome to the Millionaire Success Habits podcast. All success starts right here. Today. My topic is on worry, killing worry. And I wanna tell you why it's important and what inspired me to do that this. This month. But think about people in your life, or even you in the past. Not you now, but you in the past, or people in your life who went after something. And then a couple obstacles got in the way. And then all of a sudden the obstacles got stacked in their way, like this was going wrong. I got it. I got it. And then like four or five things went wrong at once and they retreated or gave up. I think that's when you are this close to your breakthrough, and I think that's when most people retreat. I think that's when most people give up. So all that I shared so far is to commend you for being here right now. You know, people will get my book like Millionaire Success Habits or get one of my real estate courses or success courses or anybody's Tony Robbins, Brendan Burchard's, any one of my friends courses. They'll go through the course and try it, but not be plugged into something like this. And that would be like going to the gym for a month like crazy. No carbs. Eating lean veggies and protein, little bit of good carbs, sust carbs, complex carbs. Going to the gym like crazy. Getting in like a month, you see a change and then just stopping and then just hoping that maintains hoping that continues. And we know that's not the case. Your body will go back to the way it was if you eat the same and don't work out the same. So why would our minds be any different, right? We might get inspired. I hope I motivate you. I hope I inspire you. I hope other people do. If it drives you. I love this industry. As long as they're fueling you with what you want. But it is like the gym. I mean, I. Listen, the reason that I want to talk about this tonight, I just got done for the third time in seven years reading Dale Carnegie's book Stop Worrying and Start Living. It is such a good book. Oh, my God. Was it ahead of its time? When you read and the research and the time and the effort that guy put in that book. Yes, we've all done so many of the things he talks about and so many people have kind of ripped off that book. And like out of chapters of that book, people have made their own complete books. Right. But man, that book just was something special to me. And what I've been doing over the last 15 days of listening to. It's a 10 hour book. I burned through it in the last, say, 15, 20 days. Took me longer than I thought. Some days I want to listen to music if I'm running up a mountain. It's hard to listen to Dale sometimes, but when you're trying to exercise. But I do every day. And I've been taking notes for over a month on the things that I think are important to you. And that's what I want to go over today. It's Dale Carnegie inspired, but Dean Graziosi translated. I just made that up. I hope that sounded good. I want you to think of. Before I start talking about worry and how to kill worry and what it does to you, what it does to your success, I want you to start thinking about right now. If you have a piece of paper or even on your phone, write down what you feel your biggest worry you're facing right now is. But I want to talk about what worry does to you. As someone who wants another level of life. You're here because you want more. You want to tap into your full potential. You know there's more. You know there's more gas in the tank. You know there's another level of you. Not just the next level of money will follow the next level of you. Right? You've had those. Again, I don't want to generalize, but wherever you are in life, you've had moments of clarity that were a whole nother level. Right or wrong, you've been in that flow state. You've had those days where you're just like, I'm grateful, I'm badass, I can do this. And you want that feeling. But then some things rob it, right? A lot of times worry robs it. Stress robs it. You know, things not going right and then you fall back. But the only reason I'm sharing that is if you saw that next level of you, even if you lived it for an hour, a day, a week, a month, guess what? It's in you. And what's cluttering is the thoughts that are going on, the worry that's happening. And even, you know, even if you say, I'm not a worrywart, Some of you watching right now are worrywarts, if that's a word, right? We've heard that forever. But some of you don't realize that the things you are thinking about are holding you back from your full potential. Meaning, like the way I look at it is what worry does. I was a mechanic as a kid, right? So I know engines. And a lot of times with older engines, if a spark plug went bad or a cylinder, a piston was, the seal around the piston was broken. Or an eight cylinder engine can run on seven cylinders. An eight cylinder engine could actually run on four cylinders. And I remember when an eight cylinder engine would run on say six cylinders, it would be like, but you could still go down the road, it would still drive. And then I'd get in there, change the spark plugs, fix it, and all of a sudden this went and it got completely quiet and then the engine would just go and be faster, quicker. And it was because we're running on all cylinders. So when worry is a part of your life, realizing it or not, subconscious or not, you aren't running on all eight cylinders if you're an eight cylinder engine. And what my goal is today, my goal is today is to give you some tools and literally some notes I took from this amazing book to really just get you thinking about the worry that you have in your life and how can we just nuke it now? Saying just nuking worry sometimes could be like, Dean, you don't understand what I'm facing. I have, you know, I'm doing good. I'm not complaining. But I got a lot. I get that. But everybody does. I would bet to say, you know, that the hundreds of people that are going to watch this all have worry. We all have stuff. I'm going through some stuff right now, but how I handle that stuff is the result of my life. It's the outcome of who I am. It's the outcome of who I get to be. So what worry does to you when you worry, it robs you of your full potential. I want you to get really upset with worry right now. Think about in your life the things that you've worried about that didn't come true, that caused you a lot of angst and anxiety. Did you, have you ever been in a relationship that you worried about for years? Have you worried about a job for years? Have you worried about things going wrong for years? Did you worry about the last presidential election and what it was going to do to you? Did you worry about when the economy shifted? Even if you got hit bad I'm bringing this up because worry has robbed so much of your life. Even if you're not the person considered a worry wartime, it just has. And when you think of it that way, I want you to get disturbed and pissed at worry because we get to create what goes on in our lives. I know that's a big statement, but our consciousness, whatever, if you want to use the word consciousness, our thoughts, what we think about on a daily basis, whatever word terminology that fits you, that's what causes us stress and worry or what causes us to focus on on another level. So what has worry cost you? This is casual. We're all sitting here today and I encourage you to write down some of the things in your life that worries cost you? What did you worry about that didn't come true? What did you worry about that did come true and you were still okay? What did you worry about that came true? It sucked going through it, but when you looked on the other side, you wouldn't change it for anything in the world because it made you a better person. It made you stronger, faster, quicker. Where is the smoothest stone in the stream? It is always, always in the roughest part of the stream, right? Those who stand at the rocks that are on the sidelines never get any water on them. They're fine, but they're rough. You want to live abundantly, you need to jump in the toughest part of the stream. Worry is going to happen, but there's a way to combat it. So it doesn't have to be worry, it can just be part of the process. So I want to start with kind of the 30,000 foot view of worry and how I approach it with my kids. And this is stuff I've learned through reading books, being a part of it, generating, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars in my life, being blessed to sell millions of books, all that stuff. Not bragging, but I've failed miserably to create all that. Like when I say, hey, I've generated hundreds of millions of dollars, what I really want to say is if you knew the shit I went through, the struggles I went through, the failures, the sleepless nights, my family telling you you I'm nuts, the publisher saying, no one will ever buy this book. It's a 250 page conversation, it's written by an eighth grader. I mean, all of those things, when things were, you know, when I ran out of money and was completely broke, living on credit cards like I've been in those places. And when I look back, I realized I wasn't always as good as I am now with handling worry. And I'm still not perfect. But I realized I didn't have to worry about all that. In fact, all of that happened to me exactly the way it was supposed to. It built me. It made me the man I am. It allowed me to be here and share with you guys today. So I want you to think about this. That you've probably heard me say before. You probably read about millionaire success habits because if it's not a part of your everyday life, then it's like going to the gym once in a while. So solution based thinking. Solution based thinking has to be. You have to remind yourself every, every moment of every day. I know that sounds extreme, right? I wouldn't care. You should write solution based thinking in your car. Put it a sticky on the fridge, put it. Have an alarm go off every day at 3 o' clock on your phone, 7 o' clock on your phone that says solution based thinking. Because that immediately kills. It's one of the ways to kill worry. Because what happens is we have this tendency, we were taught to worry about things like as if worrying what will solve the problem. Has worrying ever, let me ask you, has worrying ever solved any problems in your life ever? I can't believe that's going to happen. I'm going to lose this job. And then if I lose the job, you know, how. How do I fear one of my students if I don't get real estate going? And has it ever solved the problem? Or have you, when you stepped away from the worry and went after it and took action, you solved the problem or you rode through the shit if it was wrong. If it went wrong, you rode through it. You learned from it, came out on the other side. So here's something that I've been working on with my kids since they were little and I love this because I have to make it simple for them. And I'm not saying I gotta make it simple for you, but I do this for me too. Again, we gotta make it part of our life. When you are worried about something, when something goes wrong, when you're stressed about it, instead of thinking what happened and whose fault it is and why they did it or someone did it, or how could this happen to me? Which is very easy to think of all those things. What if you could train your brain to immediately grab a piece of paper and I say paper? If you're younger, you probably have barely write on a piece of paper, but I do. You see, here's my notes. Here I'm always writing because when I write, it gets into my head. What if you said, wow, this is bugging me. Why do I have this knot in my stomach? This is bugging me so much. What if you just grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down three possible solutions? Because sometimes we get in a frame of mind, it's like, nothing can fix this. Nothing can fix us. You don't understand what happened. It's not true. Someone's been through exactly what you're going through and they came out okay. On the other side, you may have been through exactly what you're going through and come out. On the other side, there's people, you know, during the Depression, so many people, during this last recession, so many people lost everything and worried and worried and worried. But nothing changed in their life till the worry was over and they started taking action towards the solutions. Why not shorten the gap? How long do you want to suffer between the worry to the solution? When? All I know is when you start working on the solution, the worry goes away. So solution based thinking, that's been a big game changer for me and for my kids. I make them write it down and it forces me to write it down. Do you guys ever have Lacroix? I don't own a part of the company or anything, but if you just want something like soda, just. It's sparkling water with a hint of lemon. I'm selling Lacroix right now. Sparkling water with a hint of juice with no sugar added. No, it's good. If you want a little treat besides water, all I drink is water. It's a good treat. So I digress. So solution based thinking, write three things down. Sometimes you can write 10 down and circle the top two. But there's always a solution. Think through it. If you can't find a solution, prove. Go online and Google it. Find somebody who's gone through it. Find somebody you can ask that's gone through it. Find. Find proof that it's okay, that it'll be okay. And all of a sudden the worry starts to go away. Clear the clutter. These are just random notes before I get into my kind of detailed notes. Sometimes worry can be stacked up by the clutter that we maintain. Now, last training, if you were here last month, I did very binary thinking. I was like, it's either yes or no, but we live in a world of maybes. So I don't want to go back to what I shared last month. But when I said clean the clutter, what happens is we get ideas and we, if you have an office, we stack stuff up. And we said, we're going to get to that later. We're going to get to this later. I'm going to, I'm going to create that later. I'm going to finish that project later. I want to give you a little hint. Throw all the things away that you're not doing. If you haven't seen a piece of paper on your desk in three weeks, four weeks, it could sit there for two years, throw it away. Or look at it and clear the clutter. Clean the clutter of your desk. Clean the clutter of your management system. Clean the clutter of your life. Clean the clutter. And I don't mean busy. I mean we have too many things that we say we're going to do. Either decide, I'm going to do it and this is the date I'm going to start, or the hell with it. I'm never going to do this. I've evolved. I don't want to actually do that anymore. What causes worry is when we start stacking on, oh, I got to get that done. And I promised my kids I would do this and I promised I'd do that, and I got to get to all those papers on my desk. You know, some days it's like just. And this is life, not just the desk. It's just push all the papers in the garbage and start fresh. Take some of those things you wanted to accomplish, but maybe don't really want to anymore because you obligated to somebody else. Let someone else down, let them feel it, rather than holding onto that worry. How can you clean the clutter in your life? We stack on so much. Listen, I say this a lot, but there are literally 150,000 people died today. 150,000 people will die tomorrow. You're not one of them. We need to work on the things that empower us, the things that take us towards our bigger future. Take care of our families, take care of our souls, take care of our passion. Like when you're selfish, you actually are the least selfish person alive because you become a better version of yourself. You start to glow. You don't dim your glow for the world. You're so bright, you light everybody else up. So many people are trying to do so many things that they're walking around exhausted. No enthusiasm, no energy, Always worried, trying to get things done. Worrying about the economy, worrying about their family, worrying about their friends. You are not doing anybody any favors. You're doing the world a disservice. You want to do the world a better thing. You want to be better in this world? Brighten your glow by cleaning the clutter. Focus on solutions, getting rid of the crap. Be so bright that you bring everybody with you. When people come in contact with you, they just light up. They don't even know why. People always say to me, dean, how do you have so much energy? It's because I love what I do. And if I sat here without this energy, I wouldn't get to inspire you. I wouldn't get to teach. You know, again, I could teach the same stuff with a low monotone. It wouldn't be the same. But here's what I know. On a monthly basis, I have to clear the clutter. Because I am an entrepreneur, I say yes to way too much stuff. I still do. Yes is what got me here. I said yes to the things that no one else would do. I said yes to working all night on cars, working all night on being a carpenter. I said yes to. To taking jobs that I shouldn't have taken. I said yes to partners in the beginning that I maybe didn't like, but I needed the money to do the deal. I said yes. There's so many things that get here. It's hard for me to say no, But I've gotten better. I obsess on it. Remember, I always say, yes got you out of Egypt. No will take you to the promised land. You said yes to get here. Start saying no. Start saying no to the things that don't serve you, the things that don't serve your bigger future, that don't put you on the path to the life that you and your family deserve. Take you to the light to tap into your full potential. It is time to clear the the clutter of your life. What can you say no to today that's part of the clutter? What can you clean up today? What projects can you quit? I said, Arianna Huffington, who started Huffington Post, I was sitting with her one day and she said, know some of the best ways to finish a project. I said, how? She goes, quit it. Some of those projects are just stupid. They were part of your past life. They're part of someone else's passion. Just quit it. I'm done with that. And it's off your plate. That's clearing the clutter. Here's another one. This one. This was from Dale Carnegie's book. I like this quote. Cooperate with the inevitable so many times. I mean, here's my version of that. Cooperate with the inevitable. If you have a boat and you're going to go out on Saturday with the family and it's going to rain. How many times do we stress about it? Oh, my God, is it going to rain? I haven't. I haven't had a weekend off in months. I've been paying for this boat. We haven't used it. My family really needs a break and I want to bond with my family. Oh, God, I hope it doesn't rain and then it's drizzly in the morning. Damn it, it's raining. Damn it, it's raining. I can't. Can you do anything about the rain? Of course. Am I just talking about rain? No, of course not. But in life, you know, I'm using that as an example. But damn, it's raining. And now it's ruined and the family's not going to be together. Is all that true? Is all that worry really needed? You get to choose on that. If it rains, it's the inevitable. You can't change the inevitable. You can't change if it's going to rain. But you can decide, you know what? It's raining today. We're going to do something silly. We're all going bowling today. And after bowling, we're going to eat so much pizza and ice cream, we're going to be sick. It's cheat day. Let's just go nuts. Cooperate with the inevitable. Don't fight it. If something's going down the road, if the train is going down the tracks, you can either stand there and try to hold it or you can jump on and see where the train is going to take you. You get to decide that. We have this way. I have a dear, dear friend, literally my best friend since like 5th grade and called him this morning. And he is fighting the inevitable every day. And I love this guy. And this morning I just listened to him. He's got something going on in his life right now with Little League and I wanted to say, dude, stop trying to hold the train back. He's coaching Little League and some things went wrong. And, man, I just. I feel so bad for him. And I know he needs some Dean time. He lives in New York still. I live here. I'm literally going to call him this afternoon and say, get on a plane. You need to come out here and spend a couple days with me and we'll get him back on track and he'll get three or four months and the worry will drop off and he'll. But again, he'll stop going to the gym. And what happens? That worry comes back. He stops focusing on Solutions. He stops trying to fight the inevitable. He starts fighting the inevitable again. This was a good one. Don't saw sawdust. That was a Dale Carnegie quote. I love that. And you could probably just me saying that probably gives you a lot of different reasons, but his whole thing is, once it's sawdust, stop trying to saw it. Once the deal didn't happen, once the relationship is over, once you miss that opportunity, you can't go back and saw sawdust. It's done. It's over. The wood became a pile of dust. You can't saw it. Go find a new tree. Go find a new tree. I mean, the saying that you can't cry over spilt milk has been said forever, for generations, right? But let's really think about it. Once the milk spills, can you unspill it? Can you go back and what are you going to obsess on? Was the glass on an angle? Was something wrong with the table? Why did it spill? Who spilt it? That's what I want to know. Whose fault was it? Why did you do it? And will it stain the carpet? Or you can just go get a new glass of milk and a towel. I mean, that's your option in life. And you could think of that silly analogy. I think of that silly analogy at least three times a week. And I will say it out loud to where sometimes my kids will be like, really, Dad? I got it. I'd be like, can you unspill that? I mean, they know what I'm talking about. My daughter has a bad inning pitching, and she's going in the next inning, and she's in her head worrying about, like, I let my team down. I didn't do my best. I couldn't throw strikes. I'm like, can you redo that inning? She's like, no, Dad, I can't. I'm like, no. Can you redo that inning? She's like, no, I said, but can you start fresh right now? That's the spilt milk. Go get a new glass. Find a new place in your head. You can throw strikes and I'll watch her click, just like that. And I wish I had those tools. Not when I was 10. Like, she is. I wish I had those tools in my 20s and 30s. As simple as this stuff sounds, these are the secrets to success. Listen, I love that you guys are a part of millionaire success habits monthly. And sometimes I feel like people are wanting this magic. Like, and not that anyone's ever said it to me, but I think sometimes, like, I'M gonna go live. Maybe Dean will give me this magic little thing that'll make everything perfect. It's not. It's all these little things added up that result in the next level of success. And I just watch worry cripple everyone. Even successful entrepreneurs. I watch them get to a certain point and worry takes over. About expanding, about where they came from, where they're going. And they just plateau or start going down. So every level, whether you're doing 100,000 a year or 50,000 a year, a million, 5, 10, 100 million. This is the same strategies. This is the same things we have to conquer. These are the same things, like going to the gym. We have to fight worry all the time. We. Or it will keep you where you are. Okay, so this is a Dale Carnegie quote that I love. Live in airtight compartments. That is such a great chapter in his book. Because if you think about this, this is before Eckhart Tolle, the Power of Now. It's before the Untethered Soul. Michael Singer. This is dale Carnegie about 50 years ago. No, not. Yeah, maybe about 50 years ago. Dale Carnegie talking about living in airtight compartments. He said, when the worry really compounds is when I'm looking at yesterday and I'm trying to redo things that went wrong or shift. I should have. God, I should have jumped in real estate when it was sooner. I should have made this happen. I should have fixed that relationship. I should have done this with my kids. I should have been. More time. You can't, should have. You can't go back and undo it. His whole thing is live in airtight compartments. The past. I always say, this is your research and development. Take what serves you. You have to let the rest go. As hard as that is for some of you, you can't. Regret will only eat you alive. Wishing you would have, could have, should have, will only make you have more of that. History is bound to repeat itself when you worry about yesterday, but also airtight compartments for the future. What if this president destroys our country? What if the economy collapses? What if? What if? What if? What if? If you are worrying. In most cases, you. You are looking backwards or you're looking into the future. You're looking at a future movie that hasn't been directed or made yet. And you're looking at a past that you can't undo. So why the hell would we obsess on it? We do. I still do. But what I've learned to do and what I want to reinforce with you is acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. And that Leads me right into the next thing. Acknowledge it, and don't take life so seriously. Don't take life so seriously. That's a tough one. Some of you are talking right now. So, Dean, you had me until now. Life is serious. Yeah, it is serious. And I worry, too. Guys, if you think I'm up here and I share all this stuff because I got it all dialed in and it's perfect, then I'm your raw. I'm not your mentor. I'm not your guru. I am just someone who works on this every day of my life. I surround myself with people I think are the most successful on the planet. Not just with money, but with happiness and joy. I talk to Tony Robbins a couple days a week. I have. I have so many incredible people in my life. I burn through a book every 10 to 15 days now. I work on this every day. So I would never sit up here and say, this is me. Perfect. Just do what I do. No, I get it. I know your fears. I know your pains. I know your worries. I know your excitement. I know where you want to go. And I just want to give you an easier way to implement it into your life. So try to acknowledge and live in airtight compartments. Yesterday's gone. Rob what you can and throw the rest away. Tomorrow isn't there yet. One shift today in a positive direction shifts all the things of the future. So how can you worry about it? If you worry less today, accomplish more, the whole future changes. Right? It's like Domino's. If Domino's has five different directions, which one you knock down first is going to take you down a different road. Worry today, stay on the same path, live in an airtight compartment, and tomorrow will change all on its own. So don't try to predict it. You are the predictor of your future. But it starts only in today. We only have today. We don't have yesterday anymore. And tomorrow's not here. You only have today to work on. So do you want to. You want to attack life with vibrancy and enthusiasm and excitement today, or do you just want to keep kicking the can down the road? And 5, 10, 20, 30 years go by and you're like, how did that just happen? So see the funny side of life and don't take things so seriously. You know, we are all. This sounds really morbid, but we are all dying, right? If someone said, you had a week left, if you had a week left, what would you do? How would you treat other people? How would you be grateful for the little things? I know Everybody said this, and I don't want to give you this, like, ooh, no crap, Dean, of course I'd be happier. But really think about that. If you had a week left, would any of the stuff you're worried about matter seriously, would it matter? Would you just want to go grab your kids, your husband, your wife, your parents, friends, family? Would you just want to go out and roll in the grass? Would you dance in the rain? Somebody said that before. Would you dance in the rain? Would you appreciate the tiniest little things? Of course you would. Can we live every day like we're dying? Like we had a week to live? No, not possible. But can we remind ourselves and not take shit so seriously? For lack of a better word, when things go wrong, what if you just go, I can't believe this happened. Because your body literally think about it. Something goes wrong, something's not right. You go, oh, God, I can't believe that. Why would that happen? I've been doing everything right. I've been working hard, I've been putting the time in, I sacrificed, and it didn't work. Or you can go, I can't believe that shit happened to me. All of it I put in and this happened. Oh, well, what can I learn from it? Same situation. How do you think your body's going to feel? How do you think your gut's going to feel? How do you think the stress hormones are going to feel? How do you think you're going to portray to other people? Do you want to bring everybody else down or you want to bring everybody else up? Do you want to be the thermostat? Do you want to be the thermometer of life? You get to decide. And these are just all little hacks I'm trying to give you so you can live a different side, so you can take. When shit goes wrong, the people who make it through take it, they understand it, they feel it for a minute, and. And they let it go. Don't take life so seriously and say, how can I solve this? How can I do this and not let myself suffer? Another one Dale Carnegie always talks about is staying busy. That kind of goes along with what I shared before and wanted to share about solutions. When you're worried about something in your business, if you're in my. One of my real estate students and you're worried about an employee or hiring employees or going quicker, getting more leads, getting more clients, getting more sales, we can worry about those. But if one second, even an extra second is on static worry rather than solutions, then you're doing yourself a disservice. If you get up in the middle of the night and you can't sleep because you're worried about it, stop sitting there and let it go over in your head over and over. And you think about it this way. And then it comes back up. And you think about it this way. And then. What if this goes wrong? And then this goes wrong. Get your ass out of bed and write down five solutions. You'll go back to sleep. How do I fix this lead problem? I get more capabilities and then take action. I hire a virtual assistant. I don't know what the answer is, but you do. You have the answer. You know one thing I stole from a friend of mine. Gail Kingsbury. When my kids ask me something, I'll always say something simple, like, dad, where's my glove? Baseball glove. I'll say, if you had a no, where do you think it is? I don't know. But if you had a no, I think it's in the back of mom's car. All right. Go check. Ask yourself that. I don't know how to fix this. Really? You don't? Not at all. Clueless. I doubt it. I doubt it. I doubt it highly. But what if you had to know how to fix it? Ask yourself that question. What if you had to know? How would you fix it? Okay. Do the best you can. Every day. That one is so important because we beat ourselves up. Think about this. I've said this before, but if you owned a million dollar racehorse, how would you treat a million dollar racehorse? Would you give it really good food? Would you make sure it slept? Would you want it to be next to a bunch of crazy horses and let it stress or whatever a horse would stress over? Right? Noisy horses, no sleep. Or would you want to put it in a place where it slept good and you took care of it and gave it the right food? And don't let it be mean to it. It's a million dollar resource. It's investment. You are your own million dollar racehorse. But we will kick our own asses, for lack of a better word. We'll have a day where you get done so many things you didn't write down. And the one thing that didn't go right, or the one parenting mistake, the one business mistake. You didn't get those leads. You didn't make that call. We will beat ourselves up. Here's all I know. We can only do the best we can. So instead of judging your scorecard based on probably unrealistic expectations, how about judging Yourself, if you did the best you could that day, and if you haven't, if you sat around, did nothing and just thought about what's wrong with the world and didn't take action, then kick your ass, kick yourself in the ass a little bit, get out there and take action. But all you can do, all you can do is your best each and every day. And when you do, it's the same. When I tell my kids when they play baseball, I'm like, you're going to win today no matter what. You're 100% chance you're winning today. And my son, I don't know, we might lose. I'm like, no. If you play your best, if you help out your team, if you're a team player, if you stay positive, if you go out there and give it your all and the score is 100 to nothing, you still won, bud. You still won. But you got to give it your all. Because if you don't, you'll come back and go, ah, I could have thrown that ball harder. I could have been a little less lazy in second base. I should have been more ready. You don't want to feel that way. Just give it your best. And when you're done, you gave it your best, give yourself a pat on the back. This is, this, this is just, it's so simple. But count your blessings, not your troubles. When you're feeling in that doom and gloom, when you're worried again, you're not worry warts. Not everybody on here, not everybody on here is just worrying every second, like Dean. I have not that much worry. But when you are worrying, stop, catch yourself, not only focus on solutions, all the other stuff, immediately flood yourself. I want to give you an example in my own life. Immediately flood yourself with the blessings you have. So I used to think, you know, I talked about this and maybe this is the first time you heard it if you're new here. But success traps are harder to get out of than failure traps. When something's not going right and it's not working, you try for a while, but then you give up. But when something's working for you, then it's a success trap. I'm going to give you an example. In my life, I used to get up the time all I still do once in a while, but get up at 2:30, 3:00 clock and just the brain would start going and I think of all the things that I needed to fix and I would obsess over them and sometimes I'd go down the negative path. Like, God, if I can't fix that, if I don't fix this and this doesn't happen, will I have enough money and all the things that we all do. But guess what? I was getting successful and more successful and more successful. So then I started thinking, well, maybe that's part of my unfair advantage. I get up at 2 o' clock and I think through all these problems and I find solutions. Wasn't true. Completely not true. But that's what I thought for a while. It was a success trap. So then the only way that I combated it, the only way that ever worked, I tried, literally, I went through a phase where I was taking like nighttime, like nighttime pm, like Advil pm, to try to sleep through this two o' clock craziness, right? Nothing worked. You know what worked is instead of thinking about my troubles and how to fix them, I try to flood myself with all my blessings. And I would just go over it in my head. God, I'm so lucky that I had my grandmother in my life. God. And I think about my grandma. I think about fishing with my grandma. I think about my God, I was this kid with dyslexia and I got book, New York Times bestsellers, whatever phase this was in my life, if I had my kids, like, oh, my God, I have two healthy, amazing kids who love me to death. And I would just start stacking the blessings and all of a sudden I'd be asleep. If you can stack troubles, you can stack blessings. You just got to be consciously aware of stacking blessings rather than stacking your troubles. This was another one from Dale Carnegie that I liked. He said, be more interested in others. You know, when we're worried, we can sometimes. We can sometimes be. Narcissistic is kind of a big word. We can be a little selfish. We think our troubles, our worries are bigger. Even if we don't say it, we think ours are. Right now you're watching me and you're thinking, some people watching. And your troubles are a little more. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. But we all got stuff but one way. Because when we're in our head, when we're in our space, when our worries are too high, one thing we do is think about our own stuff. And we're kind of just barely listening to people. You ever do that? Got a lot going on, Worried a little bit. People are talking to you and you want to. Oh, yeah, yeah, you're not really listening. Got all the crap going on in your head and you're just like, you're waiting for them to stop talk. So, you know, you're just waiting for your moment so you could talk or so you can escape, right? So you can escape the conversation. So I want to encourage you and challenge you. That's it. I want to challenge you to be more interested in others. Your kids, your spouse, coworkers, friends. It takes it off of you when you start listening to others, when you start paying attention, when you're not looking to escape, when you have more interest than others. You realize that it's not all about you. It's not all about your worries. And, you know, it's a cool thing. Joel Osteen said a while ago, he said, when you're having troubles, when you're complaining about the stiff neck or the back hurting a little bit or you can't work out this month because you had a little bit of shoulder surgery or something, he said, go to a cancer ward of Children's Hospital. You want to stop worrying about your shoulder. Want to stop worrying about your little aches and pains, go to a cancer ward. I'm not trying to be dramatic here. I'm being real. I do. I use all these hacks in my own life. I worry about stuff. I complain. I do. I just. I rebound faster because I work on this. So think about that, right? It's like, be more interested in others and realize how your stuff can melt away. This is a good one. The high cost of getting even. Now, I'm going to resort back to my buddy. If he's watching this, he's probably mad at me right now. But you know, I love you and you'll be here and we'll be on a different space after you spend time. He doesn't get mad. He actually laughs at himself. But my buddy, if someone takes advantage of him, my dad, the same way someone took advantage of him, man, he had to get him back. Just had to. Even if it was in his own mind, didn't do something physical, but, like, figure out a way to wish bad thoughts say bad things about him. Like, the cost of getting even is huge because it doesn't live in anybody else. But you see, if I look at this and again, I'm having so much fun with you guys today. I'm just speaking from my heart today. That's very casual. I appreciate it. But here's the way I look at it that you only have, like, say you have a bucket, and in that bucket is your energy, your enthusiasm, your happiness, your joy, your ability to take action. It's all in there, right and say there's a hundred percent. If you're. Someone screwed you over in a relationship, in a partnership, in life, robbed your money, all of that could be. Did something horrific against you. That energy of getting even, there's only that much amount. There's only 100% of this bucket with all that. If half of that energy is used up to, I'm going to sue them, I'm going to get them back, man. It just robs that. And you don't have the energy left to have the enthusiasm, the joy, the abundance. Take action, get the job done, start the new business, get in real estate, make the offers, make the deal. It just doesn't happen. There's just not enough energy. And the only person it hurts to try to get even or hold a grudge for, it only hurts you. It's not hurting the other person. They already did it. Whether they're getting. They got in trouble for it or not, or they got away with it or not. If you leave it in there, it's only hurting you. And I know that sounds hard because some of you have gotten taken advantage of terribly. And my friends will always say to me, especially my buddy that I'm talking, he'll always say, dude, you let people walk on you. You let people take advantage of. I'd get him back. I'd take him to court. I'd kick his ass. For what? I want to be a better human being. I want to be a dad who's in a good mood. I don't want to stress. I got enough things to worry about. I want to worry about my business. I want to worry about my students. I want to read this book. I want to go to this event. I want to, you know, go to my masterminds. I want to grow as a human being. There's no space left to get even. I don't have it. And I felt that way as a kid. My dad was obsessed with getting even with people. It doesn't make him a bad guy. That's the way he was brought up. And I had that in me. And I've worked to just let it go. And it was the greatest gift I've ever been given. Why get even when you could take all that energy and fill your bucket up? Okay, let me ask you this. With the stress you put on yourself, if you think this was in Dale Carnegie's book, it's why he wrote the book about worry. He said when he looked at the stats on heart disease, on high blood pressure, on psychosis, people just losing their mind, and can't, you know, stress got to them, stomach ulcers. He looked and the percentages said that over 50% was caused by worry and stress. Yet there was no books on the time it worried. There was lots of books on hypertension. There's lots of books on stomach ulcers and heart disease and trauma and mental illness. He said, but if 50% of all of that is caused by worrying, and we've done all this, no one's writing the book on worry, right? So let me ask you. If worry could cause you to have your life be just five years shorter, if worry would have you leave your grandchildren five years earlier, if worry would have you leave your husband or your wife five years earlier, if worry would cause you to have a terrible illness and take five years off your life right now, If I said, I'll cut you a check for $5 million if we'll take five years off your life, just wherever it is, you're going to die at 90, it's going to be 85, you're going to die at 70, it's 65. Five years away from your grandchildren, five years away from your kids. I don't know about you, but the people I love in my life, if you're not a parent, hopefully you have someone. I wouldn't take five. I wouldn't take five million bucks for a day missing my kids. And yet you say, well, you got a lot of money, but what's money? What does any of that mean? Experiences. We get money so we can buy experiences. Buy quality of life. Things don't matter. The cars never matter. The houses never matter. The trips, the family, the intimacy. Be able to coach Little League, coach baseball, or be with your husband, be with your wife. Have them quit a job they don't like so you can experience more. That's the value. But what's any of that worth? If you're sick and you go quicker, how would that. How would that serve you? So how important is worry? Is it worth 5 million bucks? Is it worth a hundred million bucks? I don't think ever to anybody watching right now. So with that said, why aren't we treating ourselves better? Why aren't we finding a way? You should be obsessing on everything we talked about today. Watch this over and over again. Take the little habits. Read Dale Carnegie's book, Exterminate worry in your life. Is it going to happen tomorrow? Nope. You're going to grab one of the things I said today and everything's perfect and hunky. Nope. But can you Implement one thing today. Can you implement one thing tomorrow? Can you implement one thing today? Yes. And over 30 days, this can be a part of who you are. Over 30 days, this can become a pattern and a process. Over 30 days, you can be like going to the gym and just go to the gym every day. When worry pops up, you have all these tools to get rid of it. Should I go on solutions? Should I change my tone? Should I change the way I feel? Should I not take life so serious? I don't know which one it is, but use one and start squeezing the time that you stress and worry down to a minimum. So you can work on getting more deals. So you can work on taking your life to the next level. So you can work on your happiness and your joy. This one I wrote down. Sell yourself daily. So we talked about all this stuff. To get rid of stress, get rid of worry, right? Easier said than done. Like I said, put it in practice, Kaizen. One step at a time. But you know who you have to do the biggest sales job in the world on? Is you. Every day. And I would suggest this. Take the next week. As silly as it sounds, why don't you sell yourself in the mirror every morning for the next week? Sell yourself. I don't know if you say worry is my enemy. I'm just making shit up as I go along here. But I know I have my own, so excuse me, excuse my mouth today. I said the S word a couple times. Apologies. I get passion and just that comes out. Okay. Sell yourself in the mirror every single day this week on what your bigger purpose is or how you're going to maybe sell yourself on why you're not going to worry. Worry is your enemy. Worry has cost you too much. How much? I said this in the beginning. How much has worry cost you since the day you've been born? How much stress has it cost you? How much has it aged you? How much has it cost? You're in a worry state. So you're mean to your wife, you're mean to your husband. You're not so present with your kids. You're short with your parents, short with your co workers. Because you're worried. You take that out and all of a sudden you out. You backlash on the people around you. You know? If you're not worried compared to you're worried, do you treat all circumstances the same? If you're in the car and you're in a grateful mood and you're counting your blessings. God, I'm so lucky. I have this. I have that and you have kids in the car and they throw stuff and they spill a soda. How would you act when that grateful mood when you're counting your blessing, like, oh, what are we gonna do? We'll get a towel. Don't. Don't stress over it. Fast forward, same situation, everything's the same with the kids in the car, they spill the soda. But this time you're worried about God. I can't believe that guy took advantage of me and that business deal didn't go through. And what if this doesn't work? And this damn president and they spill soda like, damn it. Why would you spill that soda? Why did you do that? Jesus, the carpet's going to be ruined. Did you ever do that? Did you ever do anything like that in your life? I would bet to say yes, unless you're perfect, because I surely have. And the moment it comes out of my mouth, I knew that I had a perfect present state of worry, and I just took it out on my kids, I took it out on my wife, I took it out on a friend. I took it out on somebody. I took it out on a stranger when I didn't hold the door for somebody because I was so in my head worried, I just walked in, I let a door slam on a lady. Like, that's ridiculous. How do you change that? Sell yourself daily. Find a riff. Find an incantation. Find something that you could tell yourself every day. That worry is not going to control you. I'm going to control worry. Today I'm going to be the thermostat in my life, not the thermometer. Today, worry is not going in control. I am. Today I'm going to focus on solutions. Today I'm not going to take life so seriously. Today, worry is going to lose, and my bigger future is going to win. What about doing that for a week? What about selling yourself for a week on that? How would that be? How do you think your day would start if you kicked ass in the morning doing that? How would you feel when something went wrong? How would people look at you when something went wrong? You know what? All right, that's a tough one. But we're going to get this. People will be like, what's wrong with him? What's wrong with her? Right. Why not? We have one life. This is it. This is our life. We don't know if we get another one. We don't know what's next. I hope it's glorious. I have my beliefs, you have yours, but this is the one we have. What if this is the one that we were gifted. Are you going to waste it? Hell no. Because it starts today. Change can start this minute. Put one thing in play. Remember what stress and worry has cost you to this point in your life. Do you really want to give it the power to cost you another moment? Do you want to suffer for another minute? It's not going to happen overnight. But be obsessive, kill worry, and watch your life go to a whole other level. Think about that. Focus oriented thinking. Solution focused. Oriented. Solution focused. Too many words at once. Be solution focused. When something goes wrong, how do I go, oh, this sucks. But what are five things I can write down, Three things I can write down to start this little fruit fly that can allow me to go towards another direction. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate you guys being here. And if you'd love to watch a special webcast presentation with Tony Robbins and I to show you how to extract your skills, to show you what you're good at, to get in alignment, to show you how to push your values out to the world, go to deanstraining.com and register for this special training. And if this podcast is resonating with you right now and you'd like to learn how to get your values out to the world, how to really find your superpower, then do this right now. Go to deanstraining.com that's deanstraining.com and reserve a spot for a special webcast training with Tony Robbins and I to show you how to extract what you're good at, how to make a bigger impact on the world, and how to get paid to do it. Go to Deans training dot com. What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them and I'll see you there.