I Made This PERSPECTIVE SHIFT.. and Everything Changed

Are you in a job or in something that's not kind of filling your soul or allowing you to make the economic impact on your family that you'd like, but it's good enough. It's okay. I mean, you'll start that business sooner or later. You know, you'll get there. But for now, it's okay. I'm not saying go out and quit, but what I'm saying is looking through that same lens. Would you want your children to be in that same situation? I want you to look through the lens of the things we do or the things we could be doing when someone else is watching. So think about it this way. And I'm in the happiest relationship of my life. I'm married to my best friend. I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I fall more in love with her every day. But that wasn't always the case. And I'm not going to go deep in it because I shared with some of you I messed up on past relationships. I went through a divorce. And I could say that now because I'm in this great place. But it wasn't fun. Especially it wasn't fun for my children, right? It scared me to death. I had anxiety, like the worst anxiety I'd ever had in my entire life. Like crippling anxiety when I was worried about my kids. And would they be able to adapt and would they be fragmented and would they have to be one person for their mom and one person for their dad and all? I worried about everything possible. But do you know what? The one thing that allowed me to make, finally make the decision and my ex wanted the relationship over too. It wasn't a one decision. I had lived in the guest room for a long time and we found out a way to be co parents. And everybody's got their story right. But I have to tell you this question. The question I want to ask you guys and what I'm going to talk about today is, you know, the one thing that really made the difference. It had been years, I mean, a whole handful of years since at least five years since we gave each other a kiss, held hands, were romantic, slept in the same room and all those types of things. Listen, I never talked about relationships back then. I talked about business, marketing, impact, sales, personal development. I didn't talk about relationships because mine wasn't so great. We had a good friendship, we never fought. But you know what got me is a dear friend of mine said, I got to ask you something, Dean. I feel like you and the mom of my children. You guys are doing something. You think you're keeping this all together for the children, right? When they grow up? How would you feel if they had the same exact relationship you guys are in? And that freaking floored me. It floored me. She said, do you want, you think, you want your daughter not to be in a relationship where you're friends and there's no hand holding, there's no love, there's no, you know, we go to a restaurant and I sit with one and you sit with the other and all this kind of stuff. And when he said that, I literally went and talked to my ex and shared that with her. And she said, let's, we have to end this. And we figured out a way to do it amicably and we put the kids first then. She's a dear friend and, you know, thank God it worked out in a really amazing way for everybody. She's the happiest she's ever been in her life. The happiest, right. And so am I. But I have to tell you, looking through that lens of no more bullshit, do I really want my kids to emulate and be in the same situation? Now, my kids get to see their dad in love every day, hold hands every day, kiss every day, walk in the room. And my. My wife is the most important human being on this planet to me. Right? They get to see this connection. And I watch my kids light up when they see their dad holding hands, kissing. They're like always smiling, always laughing, and they see what's possible by example. So I'm sharing that with you because I want you to frame. I want to frame this day. Is. What about in your career? Are you in a job or in something that's not kind of filling your soul or allowing you to make the economic impact on your family that you'd like? But it's good enough. It's okay. I mean, you'll start that business sooner or later. You'll launch KBB when time allows. Or, you know, you'll get there, but for now, it's okay. I'm not saying go out and quit, but what I'm saying is, looking through that same lens, would you want your children to be in that same situation? Right? Like the million dollar racehorse? Why is it okay that you want to give everything to your child? I know I do. I want my children to be richer, smarter, better looking, happier, joyful. I want them to be thousand times better than me. I want them to go, oh, Dean was 1.0. His kids are 4.0. His grandchildren are 6.0. Oh my God. By the time we get to my great grandchildren, I want them to make fun of what a pathetic, weakling loser I was. Like, that's what I hope, right? If we want that for them so much and if you're not a parent, it's okay. You'll like, you can still feel those same emotions. You can understand what we're talking about here. If we want that for them, then why the hell don't we deserve it for us, right? Like, how do we pierce this heart? How do we pierce this self doubt? How do we pierce the thinking that we have that got us here? Our best thinking got us right here. It takes another level of thinking, another level of passion, another level of feeling uncomfortable and being disturbed with where you are to move. It's the spaceship. It takes all the energy to get it like 100ft off the ground. Once it's out of the atmosphere, it hits a little button and goes fast, but it takes all that energy to get off the ground. So my goal in some of my trainings each month is to give you that burst of energy to get done today and go, screw it. I'm freaking doing this. Like nothing is going to stop me. And I know so many of you are massively successful. This isn't about, oh, you're pathetic. And this, it's about where you are. You know, there's another level. That's all it is. And it doesn't mean that it's never enough. Listen, God didn't put us on this earth to settle. I don't think, I think at the end of our life, if we had the opportunity to talk to our maker, he's not going to say, I'm so glad you found your groove at 24 years old and kind of settled for another 70 years. Like, that's not what he wants. That's not what we're designed for. I always say Dale Carnegie's quote, my favorite one by him, he said, the biggest plight of the human race is knowing you have more potential and you're not using it. Like you say that, you're like, yeah, yes, right? So how do we trick ourselves into knowing that we deserve this? We deserve to take uncomfortable action, to fail forward and to figure it out. Because if you think about that, how are we with, I know this is far away from business and stuff, but how are we with kind of our inner peace, like making amends with ourselves? We help our kids solve problems. We help our kids not have regrets. We help our kids not have enemies or let go of pain. Like, we. Maybe I'm wrong, but like, we. Wherever we are, we want what's best for them. We know. We've studied it well, simultaneously, internally, you might be fighting with yourself and still have that person that you need to forgive or forgive yourself for the mistakes in the past. You. Or forgive yourself for procrastinating. Or forgive yourself that you were scared up to this point. Or forgive yourself that you screwed up the relationship. It was you. We want our kids to forgive themselves. We want them to forgive others. We want them to work on being grateful and having gratitude. And simultaneously, we wake up sometimes and our guts are spinning while we're helping someone else. Is it true? So if that's the case, why are we waiting to fix this in the next generation? You got a lot of years left on this earth. Let's fix it with us. Remember, like, just think this. This is what I try to do all the time, is if I stay this way, my kids are going to be that way. I literally punish myself that way. Because if I stay this way, they're gonna be this way. There's. There's nothing I can do to change it, right? Another thing I wrote down is, like, who are we when no one's watching? Like, we think we could put this facade on in front of our children, right? It could be children, it could be spouse, it could be partner, it could be friends. But we get to put this face on in front of other people, right? But then who are we when no one's around? Because I still believe our kids become who we are when no one's around. I think kids are the biggest, like, lie detector, bullshit detector, excuse my language. Like, they just feel who you are, and they become it. Sam.