Insane Advice From 4 Heavy Hitters: Find Out What It Takes to Succeed in Life and Business

You have to create a meaning. Some people call it why? Deep rooted reason that's bigger than your emotions. If you're always controlled by circumstances, it's not real enough for you.

Always start sooner than you think. Do it before you're ready. I think that you could be a little scared and you could tiptoe your way into it.

I operate out of a lot of fear. If I do stop, this all comes crumbling down, which is a weird thing to motivate you. I think most people, like, oh, Pace is heading towards something. He wants to become a billionaire. And I'm like, no, being a billionaire is not my goal. My goal is not being that guy.

It's not like a magic wand. It's not like you decide this and all of a sudden everything appears. But it's in making the decision. That combination of common sense, what makes sense for me, what is knowable and true and intuition. I know, I meant for more. It's at the intersection of those two things, I think that we do own our future and step outside our comfort zone.

Own your future because if you don't, someone else will.

I've moved away from the idea of certain, like, traditional meanings of like what failure is. Like, failure is when you. No, that's not failure. To me, failure is just when you don't do it, when you stay stagnant. And so what's helped me is like really controlling my meanings and how I define myself.

Wow, that's a really good way to.

You know, so I don't look at the typical things of that's a loss. I'm like, no, I played sports enough. And I know for the fact, like, if you talk to the Kansas City Chiefs, they're going to tell you that it's not the championship they're celebrating, it's the loss in the season that brought them together. They, that was the biggest moment in their season. So I realize now, no, it's not a loss. It's just a different way of me winning.

I love the thought of redefining. I never looked at it that way. But if you give failure a different meaning, it changes everything. Failure is, hey, you're not good enough. See, your teachers was right, your parents were right. Or failure is, well, I just figured out how not to do it or what can I learn from this? How can that be fueled to make sure next time I don't just same exact same circumstance, just a different definition.

Absolutely. It's like a door being closed with rejection. I don't look at rejection now as like, oh, I Wasn't good enough. They didn't want me. I now say thank you because that opportunity wasn't meant for me. And so when I approach that, it just helps me take control of my life and control over my self esteem and my worth.

Yeah, I love that. Another question I thought about to ask you and I think from our years of knowing each other, I think I know the moment, but I'm gonna let you share is, was there a moment in your life or a moment in history when you decided to take complete ownership?

I call it the blame and complain mindset. Right? BC like we blame everything, we blame everybody. And I was in that place a lot in my life where it was everybody's fault. The moment for me, I believe there's probably a lot of moments, but me getting cut.

Yeah. So I thought, yeah, me getting cut.

From the NFL because at that moment I realized, like, I'm not gonna give anybody control to be able to say when I, you know, if I have a job or not, or dictate how I feel about myself, my self esteem and my worth. And that was the moment where I said, you know, I'm taking complete ownership over my life and I'm gonna make it on me. I'm gonna put it on me. If I, if I, if I completely fail and fall off the face of the earth, cool. At least I know I did it daringly, it's on me. But if I can make this thing happen, which I believe that I could and I did, it's on me. And so, yeah, I got sick and tired of living, you know, and people don't understand it's about professional sports. And I'll just say this, like, just imagine you see the, the superstars, right? That's the, the very minimal percent. But you have a majority of players that are literally living in fear every single day. So every day I would wake up, I wouldn't know if I would be in that same city the next day.

Wow.

I would go to practice and get fired coming off the field. And I said, I don't want to live life like that. And so many people watching this. It might not be sports, but so many people are in positions where they're living life just like that. It might be a boss or it might be this or that. And I know, you know, we got to have jobs and things, but if you're a person that's complaining about where you're at, if you're a person that says, man, I want to change my life and do something, then you have to be able to say, it's on me. I'm not going to put on everybody else and I'm going to give myself permission and take the permission away from them.

Resourcefulness will always outdo resources.

Always.

It's when you went, I mean, think. Let's just back up a little bit. I love. 60 million people a week are impacted by you. Well, let's just talk about. You're an NFL guy that was in football his whole life. You made your dream. You played at Ballard, you crushed it. You made the NFL your whole life dream. And then one day it's gone for good. And then I'm sure people are like, what's he doing now? He's doing videos on Facebook. Like, I can imagine the guys on your team say, yo, yo, yo, since Trent got fired.

Exactly.

He's doing Facebook videos and something called rehab time. Oh, my God, like, thousand percent. And that moment, you could have said, I'm a football player, I don't have the resources. I don't know anybody in this space. Never done videos. I don't have a fancy camera. I don't have a big studio. Man. There's no way. This is stupid. Right? But you found a way to be resourceful. What advice would you give to somebody who's feeling like, I just don't have a. I'm just not dealt the hand, man. I want to do what you guys are doing. I want to go to another level, but I just not dealt the right hand.

Yeah, you have to create a meaning. Some people call it. Why Deep rooted reason that's bigger than your emotions. And what I mean by that is if my emotions got in the way of what I'm doing now, I would have been stopped. I would have stopped when I pressed live and two people showed up. I would have stopped when I did my first events. And it was literally people who felt sorry for me there. I would have stopped when people were laughing at me saying, oh, you're doing that. You're doing that little rehab time thing. I would have stopped. But it was bigger than my emotions because I had a commitment deep enough. And, you know, to a friend that committed suicide and to myself and to people that I know needed this. That's what it was for me. And so I would challenge everybody watching. This is what's your deep rooted reason? And is it deep enough in your emotions? Because if you're always controlled by circumstances, it's not real enough for you.

Yeah, true.

You know it's not. And so circumstances never control me. Yes, I went through my Moments where so good, I. I questioned and I wanted to give up. But it's gotten to a point now where, you know, when circumstances happen, it's just circumstances. Because I know if I continue to weather the storm, the storm shall pass at some point.

Yeah.

And I'll continue to grow.

I love that. I love that. So you kind of alluded a little bit to it before, but I want to see if there's something, you know, in today's world, the trending term is imposter syndrome.

Yeah, right.

It's just. You're scared. Like, self doubt. I'm afraid, what if I fail? Like, we can call it whatever we want. It's been there since the beginning of time. What's something that most people wouldn't know about you when they see what you're doing? The impact you have? The family, man, you are coaching on a field, supporting Tristan and his evolution and all your family as you were growing your business. And I know you said some of it, but is there something you haven't shared that you worried about when no one was watching? And I'm not that good at this, or I'm not that good of a speaker, or I don't know how to run business, or it can't work for me because of where I've come from? What is it?

So much of what you just said, like, and that still comes up sometimes.

Me too.

It still comes up. Am I good enough? Am I even now? Like, do people still wanna watch me? Like, am I still gonna grow? But starting off, it was. Well, most things people don't know, I've talked about it, but I deal with a little bit of social anxiety. So I'm like, how can I be in this space where I'm in front of people talking to people when I have this, you know, not a disability, but I have this thing that I'm dealing with that literally when I'm around a whole group of people, I feel very uncomfortable. So how can I do this? Also with imposter syndrome, you know, I want to break this down a little bit because we think of imposter syndrome sometimes and it's different. But, you know, or am I good enough? But there was a time in my journey, and still now, where I feel as if, you know, I'll get around environments. And I'm like, man, like, these people work harder than me. And how am I in this position? Am I not supposed to be here? Is it luck? Is it this? Is it that? How am I here? And I realized this, man, and I don't know if this is a. You know, I don't know if it's just one of my wild takes, but I sat back one day and I said kind of. You talked about that was natural with you, with your marketing. I'm sure. I don't know because you work hard, but I'm sure it's people out there that probably, like, kill themselves to understand what you understand, but it's just a gift to you.

Yeah.

And I realized this with myself is that maybe it seems so effortlessly and easy because this is your gift.

Wow.

This is your gift.

Yeah.

You know, and so now I've looked at it differently. Not that I don't work hard or whatever like that, but I don't have imposter syndrome no more because I'm actually walking in my gift. So, yes, it's going to seem so natural and so fluent and so easy, and it's not going to be forced because it's what I was called to do. And so that's really helped me deal with imposter syndrome a lot because it still comes up like, this person's, like, studying all these things, reading all these books, and I'm not doing that. And I'm like, man, am I supposed to be where I'm at? Then I said, man, this is actually. You are.

Because this is your journey, your gift and your journey.

And my journey, exactly.

Influence, sales, persuasion, whatever you want to call it. And I know our relationship, and I know how you feel about sales when you first started, and now I know how it's evolved to service. When you write a book, if somebody buys your book, you're serving them. They get to change their life because of your books. They're amazing. If you build a course, you're serving them by getting them to raise their hand and say, yes. Right. I was there when you filmed one of your first courses. I watched you do it. I'm like, the world needs more, Trent. Let's get you creating something. And people have different perceptions of selling. Some people, like, I love it. I get to serve. It's like one of my things. I love selling when I'm selling something I love. I love promoting you. Today, I'm going to push everybody to go to your social and follow you. I'm going to sell you on this guy because this guy will take your life from where you are to where you want to be in so many levels that. Especially if you're watching them and you vibe. So I have no. It's like selling a good movie to a friend or A good book or a good meal to a friend. It's like, I'm doing you a disservice if I don't introduce you to Trent, if you don't already know him, which you probably do. So there's that feeling, but then there's. I know the feeling. When you first started, it's like, I just want to help people. Is it wrong to offer? Right. But your business is growing, and you get paid a lot of money to be on stages. You're in high demand. You only do 15 or so a year. You could probably do 50 a year. And what you get for an hour is amazing. And it's all deserved. You have courses, you have books. What's one way, if you could think, it doesn't have to be perfect. What's one way you've sold, persuaded, influenced. Your business wouldn't grow. Sales are the oxygen of every company. No matter what anybody says. It's like, no, it's just gonna go viral. No, it's not.

Right.

It doesn't matter how many videos you have go viral. If you don't ask them to come to an event, if you don't ask them to buy your book, they're not coming. They're not coming. Right. So what's a way that you've been able to impact through service, through sales, through influence, where it's worked with you, where it's aligned with you?

Yeah, well, it's fully. This is a deep question.

I know it is.

I know it is.

It's being fully. Number one, is immersed in my community and immersed in my audience. And what I mean by that is being able to give them so much value. Like, so much value. And I always hear you in the back of my head, like, you're doing a disservice if you don't give them the next thing. And if you don't give them the next thing, they're gonna find the next thing from someone else. Do you want someone else? Do you trust someone else?

They might not love your students as much or your followers as much as you do.

Exactly. And so that's really helped me be able to find the confidence in all these negative beliefs and limited beliefs of selling. And I realized, too, that so many of my supporters, they've asked for more. And once I started to give them more, and I realized, like, wait a minute, like, this is really impacting their life, because inspiration, you know, and being inspired is one thing, but when you have somebody be immersed in a product and what you do, that's when that's when they become transformed and impacted. And so I was able to see that just for a little bit, even when I started with you. So I said, man, I want to create more of these things. And it's really, man, I think the selling part is really me believing in what I'm selling so much that it becomes contagious to them. And they say, man, I have to have this. You brought it up in there. When I first started selling whatever like a program, I was kind of like, ah, you know, if you want, if.

You want, but you don't really have to.

And I'm like, I wouldn't buy that. You know, like I should be proud of this. Like I put in the work in this, like my retreats, like I know the transformation that happens. And so just by having that energy and telling them, giving this opportunity space for them to be able to transform and change their life, it's allowed me to bring more confidence because you need this. And if you don't need, if you don't get it, not, you know, I feel sorry for you. Not in the way of like if you can't afford it, but you need to be in this because I understand what it's going to do for your life if you step into this transformation.

You buy businesses. How the hell did that happen?

It started really corporate. So unlike a lot of entrepreneurs or people that I think come and speak on podcasts, I was a fraidy cat for years. So I worked in corporate America for a long time in finance. And what we do in finance and private equity is we buy businesses, but really big ones, right? So 100 billion dollar transaction, we use other people's money, aka the bank to do it typically. And then we make millions, billions of dollars. And at some point I was kind of miserable. I don't know if anybody could relate. But you know, 60, 70 hour weeks and I didn't see an end to it. You know, I looked at the managing directors that were higher than me and thought, I don't want, I'm going to be them. If I do really well, that's the goal.

That's where I go.

And I was like, I don't want it, I don't want any of that. They don't seem happy. And, and, and so I started trying to figure out where could my golden parachute be? Like how could I get out of this? And what I realized is wait, there's nothing that difference between a giant transaction and a little transaction. Why couldn't I buy a tiny business and use other people's money in order to do it. And I could maybe buy enough of those where I could just cover my salary, like, that's it.

What would you say to that person who's a little scared thinking, I shouldn't do this because I'm safe and are you really safe? It was an illusion.

Always start sooner than you think. Do it before you're ready. You'll never feel ready. Sort of like, you know that conversation people have with kids, like, you're never ready. I feel like people should say that same thing to people who want to become an entrepreneur. The difference maybe is like, the people.

Who want to have kids, like, you're never gonna be ready.

Just have the kid. You're like, you're never ready. Just do the thing. Yeah, great point, but I actually think I'm a little different. Like, we were talking about mutual friends. We have.

We.

I have a couple mutual friends that are like, I slept on a couch, I lived on the floor. And I do not think you have to do that.

No, absolutely not.

I think that you could be a little scared and you could tiptoe your way into it. And. And so if I was Talking to my 19 year old self, I'd say, start tiptoeing sooner. You don't have to take a big jump.

Tiptoe, investigate.

Right, Exactly.

And don't be so afraid of the unknown.

Yeah. Learn.

It's actually scarier to be stuck in something you don't like and be at the end of your life and go, damn it, I missed it.

Yeah.

Rather than saying, let's tiptoe. All right, so back to your story. You're helping, doing these big transactions. You realize they're doing it with big money. Can I do it with small money? If I buy a couple of these small companies with somebody else's money, can I cover my salary? Where'd you go from there?

So from there, I did what most people do. I waffled around, cried, you know, didn't make changes for a bit. And. And then finally I started thinking about businesses that I could do from afar. At the time, I was running around, traveling, like every week, nonstop, two flights a week at least. And so I couldn't buy a business and run it myself. I was working way too much. But I found a guy who was operating a laundromat. And at the time, this guy who was operating a laundromat, when he was explaining it to me, we knew each other through mutual friends. I was like, wait a second. Like, you just need a little bit of cash to Operate a lot. What if you run a laundromat and I buy one? And we could buy one from really cheap. Here's how I think we could structure it. Because he was like, laundromats caught him, cost a million dollars. And I was like, I don't think so. Because I know how to find these businesses that are kind of going a little sideways or maybe businesses that are really small but never want to be big businesses. And I thought, let's apply the same idea we do in private equity, which is we find kind of little guys that need some help, and we either give them capital or we give them operational capacity.

Right? Right.

100%. And so we did that together. We did my first little laundromat transaction. So that was like $100,000 that I invested for $67,000 a year in profit. Now, to be clear, dollars is a lot. And now I teach people how to do deals with a lot less cash. But back then, 100,000 was a lot for me, but wouldn't bankrupt me. Right?

Got it. Yep.

And I did that first transaction, and I was like, oh, this works. I. I don't have to step foot in it. I'm in Chile half the time doing deals, and this tiny business works. And then we bought another one. And then we bought another one. And then I realized everything rhymes and we are building our own little private equity holding company. But the fascinating part about it was I was quiet. Like, I didn't tell anybody. I was. I've only been on the Internet for like two years. And prior to this, like, I was almost embarrassed. Like, I own these little dirty businesses, these boring businesses, and maybe the people listening, maybe you have that thing that you think you shouldn't do or that is dirty or that is boring, or that somebody's make fun of you. And it turns out the second I started talking about it on the Internet, now we have 4 million followers and 100 million monthly views, and all talking about laundromats, you know, ridiculous, right? So that was the first deal. That was the catalyst for all the other deals.

You know, when people hear things in personal development. Change your beliefs, change your life, change your story, change your life. You're like, I don't need any of that stuff. Just give me a good business. But when you really, as you get older, especially, and you're doing so amazing again, I mean, this. It's incredible what you've done, you're going to see that those little things are actually the big things things.

That's so true.

What you felt About Laundromats, no one would care. Was that reality or your belief?

Belief.

Right. And once the belief was shifted, you thought, what other companies, what other businesses? This seem a little dirty or you don't want to talk about, but could do the same thing for me. And really, when. When people say, what's the secret to success? There's a million things, but the little things are the big things. And wisdom comes from questioning your beliefs and stepping into the uncomfortable.

Yeah. Well, you said something when we were chatting that I loved, which was that, you know, when we share our experiences online, we turn decades into days, which are, you know, little light bulb. You're like, I'm going to solve your issue about thinking about sharing information in 30 seconds. And I was like, sure, let's see. You know, and then that line. And I was like, God is exactly it. And that. What's so funny is in finance, we are taught tactics, tactics, tactics. You know, give me the financials, give me the spreadsheet all day. And what I realized, actually not so long ago, you would be proud, I think, because I could see, like, you and Tony, you. You found this stuff out, like, 30 years ago. I found it out 30 minutes ago. But, but I was at, I was at the. I gave this a speech, and I was listening to the person before me give theirs, thankfully. And they were talking about how people physically represent money. So their body, if. If they could have a physical representation of money, what would that look like with your body? And it was a group of small, group of women, very successful women, by the way. Six, seven, eight figure women. And they were like, I want you to think about money. Close your eyes, and then make your body a physical representation of money. And so I'm like, okay. And so I, you know, I, I think money. And I go, money, like, hands up, right? I'm like, I don't even think about it. I don't say the words out loud. I'm just in back, like, yeah, I like it. You know, whatever. And then I open. Then she says, open your eyes. And we look around and everybody else is sort of like curled up like, like, closed tight or just like mommy or. And it was the weirdest thing I've ever saw because then I went on and said, okay, I'm going to give you a bunch of tactics and tools because that's kind of the way that my brain works. But if you, if your physical body is like this, and this is how you think about money, like, I give you a list, I could give you the spreadsheet. I could tell you every single thing to do, but I kind of feel like you need to go and listen to somebody like Dean or somebody like Tony first. Because if you don't believe it, then all the numbers won't back it.

You don't believe love. We ever find love.

Yeah, I mean, it sounds so touchy feely, which, like, hurts my little finance soul, except it's true. And so I think it's really powerful. The stuff that you do when you open people's aperture larger and then they can see the numbers and they can see the tactics, but before it, they'll just be on the Internet saying, well, fucking work. No way, no how, whatever.

So then buying Laundromats evolved to this is your business. I mean, you have a company now, 26 companies. Or is it more? Is that what it's at right now?

Yeah, 26 boring businesses, I call them. And then we have essentially our media companies. So now we have three of those and then we have five, what I call media accelerated companies companies. So what I realized is there's just levels to every game, right? So I had that first little laundromat and then I was like, huh, well, I could just have more laundromats because it's the same thing. And then what about car washes? And then how about, oh, this is a landscaping company with the same dynamic. So I started building up this thing. And then a weird thing happened to me in, in private equity, which happens to a lot of employees, which is I made more money in my side stuff than my main stuff. And at that point in my career, I mean, I'm like eight years into finance. I'm pretty senior. I'm making, you know, a million bucks a year as, as an employee, I'm doing pretty well. And. But I was making more in this other thing. At this point, I actually really liked what I did in private equity. I was. I could have been an employee for a long time, actually, except some of the other people that I worked with got wind of how much I was making in this other stuff, and I started becoming a little bit public. I wasn't making any money. I wasn't selling anything online. I just. People found out about portfolios. My leadership business grew, and so I got a couple of, you know, CNBC spots and whatever. And I remember one of my partners at the time said, you know, we don't. We don't build ourselves, we build the company. We don't talk about you, we talk about we. And at the time, I was pissed. I was Like, I have made you hundreds of millions of dollars. Now I kind of get it as a boss. He's right. I was playing with chips, and he did me a huge service, which is. He said, you got to pick. Which one do you want to do? And to this day, we're great friends. He's an incredible CEO. Like, you would love him. The culture he's built in finance is incredible. But I left. We took a walk on the beach. He said, you pick. I was kind of like, I think you're ridiculous. Like, you know, we kind of fought and. And I left. And then I said, hey, we're going to go our separate ways. But actually, I respect you. I kind of get it.

Of course.

But if he hadn't. He didn't fire me, but if he hadn't put that ultimatum on the line, I wouldn't have a choice. Yeah, I wouldn't have then gone and. And I. Even then, Dean, I did the. The wussy thing again. I went and partnered with somebody else in a private equity firm. I went into theirs. I didn't think I could do it by myself. I thought I needed somebody.

That career mindset evolving to, I can do this on my own.

Yeah. I needed a bridge. And then I realized quickly, oh, man, I'm bringing in all the money to these guys. I'm bringing in all the deals. Why am I doing this with somebody else? And then I had to have that. You know how the universe repeats lessons? It's like, do you. Do you get it yet?

How many times do you want this one?

Yeah, exactly like, no, I'd like another face punch, please. And so then the same thing happened. I started getting big. I was in. I was in private equity and cannabis, and I had been in private equity cannabis for, like, six months. And I'm like, headlining the private equity Cannabis Conference. We're getting all the deals. We're doing whatever. Same thing with one of my partners. They're like, this is too much. Outside of the partnership, we don't want to be public. You obviously want to be public. So pick. And I was like, God, again. And I had. You know, I had a lot. Millions of. Of dollars invested in there. And so then I basically said, again, I think you guys are wrong. Fine. And. And then I left that private equity fund. I finished that last fund with us and did the fundraise and was like, I suppose I am now unemployable and I shall work for myself. And. But it took.

It took nudges. And how many times do we all get the nudge, and we ignore it. People from the outside say, ah, he's past the worry. He's past the insecurities. He's past questioning himself if he's good enough to be in this room.

Yeah.

What's something that still pops up on the inside for you that no one would think?

I operate out of a lot of fear, similar to what you just wreck you just said was, which is if I don't stop, if I do stop, this all comes crumbling down, which is the weirdest thing. It just is an old mindset that I have to get rid of. And, of course, you and I have been friends for a year, but I still get nervous being around you. I got nervous coming into the podcast. I think a lot of people assume that you've reached a point where you don't worry about those things. I worry about them as much as I used to worry about them. The problems are way bigger today than they were five years ago, 10 years ago. They're bigger. I'm just more equipped or I have a better team, I should say, to help me equip, you know, equip myself with solutions to them. So for the people out there, like, oh, yeah, he's reached that pinnacle. I worry about losing it all, too.

Yeah, of course.

Just like you did. You said this on a podcast, too. You said, I feel like if I stop, I'll lose it all and I'll become my father.

Yeah.

Which is a weird thing to motivate you. I think most people like, oh, Pace is heading towards something. He wants to become a billionaire. And I'm like, no, I'm being a billionaire is not my goal. My goal is not being that guy.

Right. And. And no, it's so great that you say that, because I don't focus on every moment of my life. I bring it up now so other people can see that this is. This is being human. This is part of the journey. I focus more on where I want to go, but I don't. I'm not afraid to go to that side of what I want to run away from and what I'm fearful of. And so. So let me ask you. So you still have the fear of losing it all. I don't think you're ever going to outgrow that, no matter how old you are. But it will soften, and it's a good reminder. It evolves to being a. Oh, I know what that felt like. And I don't want to go back there. And because of the business you're in, of helping Others. It reminds you that you could have been that haircutter. You could have been a guy still doing houses for somebody else. I still could have been. Right now, I could have been the best collision shop owner in upstate New York. I might have had three of them by now.

Man, your customers would be so motivated.

I might have had three collision shops by now. Right. And I'm not knocking a collision shop. I'm just saying I knew I was meant for more, and I just. I couldn't stop. I just knew I had to go there. So I appreciate you sharing that. And, you know, one thing on the other side. What's one thing about success? That. You know why I asked you this? Because you're not. And neither mine. Right. You're not the Lambo guy, right? That's not you.

You and I both drive a truck.

I know. I saw you come in. Your Ford's actually a little fancier than I just got. Here's a little fancier.

Yours was fancier. Mine, but mine just hit eight years, and I was like, it's time.

Yeah.

Yeah. I love the truck. I saw it when you pulled in. But what's one thing about success or a byproduct of the success you have that you didn't see coming?

Realizing that it was never going to be about me. It was always going to be about the other people's lives that I changed. Which is interesting, because I was so afraid to hire my first employee. I was so afraid. Do you remember when you hired your first employee? I had to have somebody force me. John. Shout out to John Bohm. I hired a mindset coach. He was $500 an hour to sit down with me at Starbucks. And he. He sits down with me 30 minutes, changes my life, helps me out. Second time I go to meet him, it's in a Starbucks paying this guy 500 bucks. He stands up before I can get over the table, he says, you're fired. I go, what the hell are you talking about? I'm paying you 500 to hang out with you in a Starbucks. What are you talking about? You're firing me? And he said, I. And then I go, hold on, hold on, hold on. Why is he firing me? So I said, john, why are you firing me? He goes, because I can tell by the way you walked in here the lack of self respect you have because you didn't follow through with what you promised me last month. He could tell with my body language. He's now the head mindset coach of the Arizona Cardinals, so, wow, I was lucky. Enough to have this guy in my life. He says. He says, I'm sick of your bullshit. Pull out your phone right now. We're gonna hire somebody right now. And he makes me put an ad out.

Wow. Smart enough for you to get a coach to push you like that, though.

Dean, I wasn't smart enough. I would. Somebody else told me, if you don't get a coach, this is going to happen to you again. It was the nitrous. It was the negative. Drove me. And so John makes me hire somebody. I hire a girl named Anna Martinez. The next day, she triples my business within 30 days. And what it was, it was really simple things. Like somebody was picking up the phone when they should have picked up the phone. I was a contractor. My phone was in my pocket. I was installing a toilet. I was doing all the stupid things myself. I didn't value my time.

Yeah.

Anna came into my world and changed my entire life. Here's. Here's the. Part of. Here's the. Answer your question. The part that I wasn't expecting is that that entire eight year journey with Anna, she's no longer with me. The payoff was when she realized pace showed me a world that I didn't know existed. She went out and started her own business.

Wow.

The company bought her a house and. And just watching the fruits of all of our team's labor to create that. Now she's out on her own, building her own thing. I'm like, that was my life. Life's purpose. It wasn't me making more money or doing whatever. It's putting other people on and showing them that they have something they didn't see before they. They met me.

Yeah. I mean, it is. It's unbelievable when you understand the shift and you've heard it a million times. So I'm just a reminder service today that the fastest way to wealth and happiness is helping other people gain wealth and happiness or abundance or joy. It sounds too cliche. It sounds fake. It sounds fake. So I. I got to ask you. So you went from contractor.

Yeah.

To houses, doing your own. Right?

Yeah.

The tap on the shoulder, the grab, the claw on the shoulder. Right. What made you think of transitioning into helping others? Right. It's the. It's the journey. It's the same journey I was on. Right. It's like you. You don't know what to do. You're insecure. Then you take the uncomfortable action. You're like, holy crap, I'm not that smart. I'm not the smartest guy in the room. At least this is the way I felt. Not saying with you. I'm not the smartest guy in the room, not the richest guy in the room, but I was able to do this. Yeah, crap, I bet you I can help other people do it. Was there an epiphany? Was there a moment? Was it a slow transition? You got the hottest show on A and E. Like, how did that all come together?

Everything. Everything. Even the show. I'll tell you how we got the show in a second. That will answer the question. But Beth, like Bethany Willis, she saw me working hard. I had a lot of employees by this time. Anna. I hire Anna. I get up to the point where I now have 250 employees in my construction. Construction company. Man. My engine has always been an eight cylinder, turbocharged engine. The problem is my engine was in the wrong vehicle.

That's really. I love that.

And it wasn't until Bethany told me, it's good. Bethany says to me, she says, your engine is one of the most powerful engines I've ever seen, and you're wasting your time. We need to get your engine in a different vehicle. And from an auto body guy, you understand this. It's like you see people dropping engines in old cars and making them way better than they ever were. And so she transition transitioned me into real estate. Dean, this is the funniest thing. You think that I would have an epiphany and go, real estate's the thing. What I did is I was still addicted to working for other people.

Yeah.

And people go, man, what, What? What? What was it? And I go, I didn't believe in myself. I still didn't believe in myself.

I was going to say that before you said, because you don't. And then you get stuck in that kind of. Well, this. I have no risk. And they're cutting me the check. That is all on me. What if I fail? What if I do that?

I thought that. I thought that. I thought I had no risk. When you introduced me and you said, thousand renovations, Dean, that's only a reminder to me that I did 7,000 renovations for other people because I believed in their choices over believing in my own really good observation. When you tell me, when you introduce me with 7,000 renovations, I almost want to cower a little bit. That's a reminder. For 10 years, I didn't believe in myself.

Yeah.

I believed in somebody else's decisions that I had no control over, didn't own my future.

Yeah.

Bethany Willis comes in like a mother, grabs me by the shoulder, shows me another Option. And for two more years, I.

You were dabbling.

I was doing real estate. Here's the thing. In my first year in real estate, I made like half a million dollars. And I poured that money into my construction company to invest in other people's businesses. That's how little I believed in myself. And it wasn't until the guy. John. His name's John. John. Files bankruptcy that I said, hold on.

You'Re not in control.

I'm not in control.

It was an illusion.

It wasn't all an illusion. And it was the greatest thing that happened for me. You said this the other day at my mastermind. You said, guys, it's not what it's. This stuff didn't happen to you. It happened for you. And your story behind that changed the whole room. Like I told you, after two hours, after you left, my entire community was talking about how you impacted them in 45 minutes. And that was probably one of the biggest things was life is happening for you, not to you. So here's what it was. I get filed bankruptcy, on I go, I have no control. I need full control of my future. So I then I was already doing the real estate stuff. Why the hell was I right?

You had an illusion.

An illusion. And I didn't believe in myself. And so I took. I took. Here's what it was, Dean. By that time, those two years while I was doing both construction and I was doing real estate, I accumulated three or four really good friends. Three or four really good friends. So when I got that bankrupt bankruptcy letter, all I did was double down on those relationships. And those guys were now my new Bethany Willis. They then took me through the next step. And so for me, where I got into the point where I thought I could help people is one day, I don't know how much time we have, but this is. This is a really good story. I'm now full time real estate, and I get an opportunity to buy a house here in Phoenix, Arizona, from an owner that lives in Denver, Colorado. His wife is falling sick. It's their second home. He wants to get rid of it. Him and I, through good rapport. Remember, real estate is never about the house. It's always about the relationship with the seller. You know this better than anybody else else. So I get good rapport with him. He says, all right, here's the price. $200,000. I'll sell the house to you for $200,000, but I need you to come and meet me in person so we can sign the deal and I can shake your Hand and look you in the eyes. I go, oh, yeah, no problem. I'll send my. I'll send a mobile notary to you. He goes, I didn't say send a mobile notary to me.

Said, I want to see you.

I want to see you.

Wow.

I go, okay, wow. All right. So here's what happens. I go on to a website thinking, how do I avoid going from Arizona to Colorado? I go on a website looking for somebody to help me in Colorado. It's a forum. There's. It's a really big company. They're like the Goliath in the industry. And I go into their forum. It's not a community, it's a forum. Very big difference. And I go into this forum and I go, hey, I need help on this real estate transaction up in. I need to meet the guy, tell the story, and I get ridiculed. You should do this and you should do that, and why are you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. So I'm thinking, I don't have any help. The owner of the property calls me Thursday morning, goes, hey, I'm giving you till Friday, 5pm to come meet me at this house. If you're gonna come up here, great. If not, great. And I go, don't worry. Don't worry. I'll be there. Or my partner will be there. An hour later, I get a call from somebody off the forum. He goes, hey, just got your number, saw your post. I can go meet the seller for you, and I'll tell him I'm your partner. So this is what he does, Dean. He prints out my post on the forum where I say, I need somebody to help me and pose as my partner, be my JV partner on the deal. He prints it out and goes to the homeowner's house and says, pace is asking for people to help him. He's not actually serious about buying your house. Let me buy the house from you.

Oh, my God.

Right? Here's what's cool about that guy. His name's Steve. Steve. The owner calls me up and he says, I just want to let you know that I'm a man of my word. I promised you that if you could meet me by Friday at 5pm I'd sell my house to you. But I want to let you know, this guy off this website that you found, he's not your friend. Oh, that rung so true for so long. And here's what happened. So I go, all right, I'll go get a flight. By this time, there's no flights and by the time I would fly there and drive up, he's two and a half hours away from, from Denver. So I'd have to get a car rental car, blah, blah, blah. I wouldn't get there on time. So what I did is I got in my Prius and I left at 3 o' clock in the morning and I drove all the way up to his house. I got there like 4 o' clock in the afternoon, Denver time. Sign the deal, I get the contract done. And all right, now I got a 16 hour road trip on my way home. Here's where the payoff was for me. That whole entire 16 hours home, all I could think about was, where is the community of Bethany Willis's helping other people get into this business? Where's the group of people I can rely on if I get a lead or an opportunity in Florida? Who can I ring on? Who can I text? Who can I reach out to that I can truly rely on? And so I said, if it doesn't exist, I need to build it. I need to be the Bethany Willis to other people. And that was the moment, the moment I got screwed over. Somebody stabbed me in the back, went and printed out my freaking forum post and showed it to this guy, was the moment I go, I need to be Bethany Willis. I need to be a bigger Bethany Willis. And so for 16 hours on my drive home, I voice memo'd myself hundreds of ideas of how can I build a community of people that no matter where I am in the country, I can get a deal done in five minutes. A phone call, a text message, somebody can go on appointments for me, do all that stuff. And that's, that was the greatest.

Isn't that where the greatest things come from, is to solve your own problem?

Yeah.

And then amplify it?

Yeah. And I had, I had an example. Bethany Willis was my example. So here's what I did when I got home, I go home and I go, all right, I'm gonna go on Instagram stories. And I go, I'm going to take people on appointments with me. Meet me at Circle K, 6:00 clock in the morning, and I'll take you around for 12 hours. I'll go to projects with you. I'll show you how to raise money. I'll show you, you know, how I source this and all that kind of stuff. How many people showed up the first time? Zero. Zero people show up. So through the week, nobody shows up. But I'm posting about it. Like, man, the people that were with me, they got so Much value. And next week, how many people showed up? 3. Three people show up. 6 o' clock Saturday morning at Circle K. Right down here off Priest.

Yeah.

Okay, now I've got people that I can put on my stories and show, hey, look, Debbie is with me. And she went on appointment. Following week, I Do it again. 63 people show up to Circle K. At 6 o' clock in the morning, Circle K calls the police on me. What the hell are you doing? What, is there a fight going on here? I go, no, I'm just taking people on real estate meetings. And they're like, go do it somewhere else. So we went across the street to a parking lot and somebody brought a whiteboard and I started whiteboarding. Here's what I'm doing and here's how I'm doing it. We started just loving on people and doing the Bethany Willis move, grabbing them by the shoulder and said, I'm going to show you how this business works. And I got addicted to that. Because then you get people the next week come back and go, I got my first deal. I did my first thing. I hired my first employee. I got my first office. And you're like, I have somebody in my community that met their wife at one of these parking lot meetups. They now have. They now have a child.

Wow.

And it's just, you see that and you go, this is why I was put on this earth.

I was getting a divorce from my first husband who his family business had fallen apart and he had started drinking. I mean, his whole life imploded. He'd started drinking. And thank God I had started this business. This idea of starting this little business out of a bedroom in my home allowed us to pay the bills while he was figuring it out. And in many ways, I thought, you know, I'm going to be as successful as I can be, just until he gets back on his feet. And then I realized he's not getting back on his feet. And it ultimately led to us hard conversation, getting a divorce. And I remember going to my family and saying, I'm going to move to New York City. Now at this time, I'd grown up in Virginia Beach. I was living in Charlotte, North Carolina. I'd never lived in a big city. I'd only been to New York City twice on a quick little trip. And I say to my mom, who had always been super positive and super supportive of anything I wanted to do, like, a lot of my credit, a lot of my success is because of my mother. So I go to this person, I bet a Lot of you can relate to this. You go to someone that you trust with this big vision you have have, and she's like, barry, you can't move to New York City. Like, you don't know anybody there. And it's the most expensive city in the country. And you're just starting out, starting your life over again and you're starting this new business and it's still fairly young. And why don't you live in the basement? Your dad and I could fix up the basement. You have your own entrance and you can get your life back together while you're figuring it out. And I remember this moment and it's hard. If you've ever had to say something to a parent that you really like, admire their wisdom. To go against that is hard. But I remember thinking just instantly, like, if I go in that basement, I'm never coming out. Like, literally or figuratively, I'm going to die there. Like, you don't go 38 years old and into your parents basement, the divorce and come out, you know. And so I was like, no, I'm moving to New York City. I know it's crazy. And this is a part about common sense. There's common sense and there's also intuition. And my intuition was, I know I'm meant for more. I know I'm meant to live in a bigger place and do bigger things, and I can't do it in the same environment. I've got to break through this environment to be the bigger version of myself. And when I did that, I knew my mom thought I was crazy, my sister thought I was crazy, my friends thought I was crazy. Because I was leaving everything that was safe and comfortable and going to a place where literally I knew no one and starting over again. But moving to New York City and getting this little apartment on Broadway, like a hat trick, just to get that apartment. But thank God, my little. My landlord Ralph's job. I'll be forever grateful to someone. When you're using common sense and intuition, sometimes when you're doubling down on yourself, there'll be someone out there who believes in you just. Just enough to give you a chance. And that was my landlord, Ralph Staub. He said yes to me, even though on paper it was a crazy choice.

Yeah.

But he said something in me and said yes. And in that apartment in New York City, I doubled the size of my business that year. And then the next year I doubled it again. And I worked tirelessly. Like, to your point, Dean, it's not like a magic wand. It's not like you decide this and all of a sudden everything appears, but it's in making the decision, that combination of common sense, what makes sense for me, what is knowable and true, and intuition. I know. I meant for more. It's at the intersection of two things. I think that we do own our future and step outside our comfort zone. And if you're thinking about doing something like this, you know, I heard someone say this recently. Getting out of your comfort zone doesn't have to mean going out on a ledge like New York City was a ledge for me. I went way out of my comfort zone to do that. But if you're just getting started on something like this, whether you're thinking of starting your own business, or you've started your own business, or you're growing your own business out of your comfort zone, could be one step out of your comfort zone. Doesn't have to be a mile outside your comfort zone. But I do think it's those baby steps that define us and take us where we're supposed to be. And for me, that was one of the most pivotal moments in my life, is just saying yes to what I knew to be true, even if it made no sense to anybody else.

No, I got. I love unpacking, packing that I have so many thoughts. Because you physically moved, right? So you had to move. Your thinking true, you had. You had a. You had to question these beliefs. You had to question certainty, and you physically moved. But I was thinking, even if you didn't physically move, the only way that would have changed is if you moved. The other things, if you move, your.

Threshold had to come first. Like, you had to make the mental leap before you could make the physical one. And. And part of that is believing that there's a different future for you, believing that it could be different, believing that you are meant for more. And I have to tell you, one of the most important things in doing this is to surround yourself with people who think that way. And what really helped is the business I had started. I ended up serving the personal development space. So this little fledgling planning business I had out of some, you know, this is a little bit God, a little bit faith, a little bit luck. But I ended up serving the market that you and I are in. I stumbled into it accidentally. And so every time I ran an event, I was getting a dose of personal development, and I was surrounded by people on the stage and off of it who believed. Not only believed that they were meant for more, but were taking the steps to claim that and being Surrounded and immersed in that gave me permission, I think, to say yes to myself. I don't know if it would have happened if I hadn't had the certainty that comes from seeing other people live their best life and thinking, well, if you can do it, I can do it, too. And now you and I are both in the business of helping people do that. It's like one of the best things in my life is not only did I pull myself out of a future I didn't want and create the future I did want, I get to do that for a living, for other people.

Now, what are some of the things that no one would know that you still worry about when no one's watching that are still lingering from that girl who packed up and went to New York?

Well, so I think a lot of us can probably relate to imposter syndrome. I think that shows up in a lot of layers, especially when you're swinging for the fences and you're going outside your comfort zone. And we have a saying, new level, new devil. Every time you uplevel, there's like a new little devil kind of waiting for you, some little problem that you have to solve. But I find for me, a lot of it comes back. Like, you know, I know I meant for more. I know I'm really good at what I'm doing. But every time you uplevel, you think, am I good enough for this next level? Like, is this where I'll be found out? Is this where the road ends?

Is this.

Yeah, they'll find out. I'm not that smart. I always. That was mine for two decades.

Yeah. And it really. It is like that little voice in the back of your mind. And I think part of our journey, especially if you're going to grow your own business, is building this muscle to know that. That you're capable of that next level. And so you. You have to keep pushing for it, and when you do, you build that next muscle that allows you to be even more capable, to go even further. And for me, I was bullied in high school. Like, I had a terrible, terrible high school experience. I could not wait for high school to be over. It was a very unkind three years. And I am so glad that social media wasn't around when I was in high school. Like, I'm forever grateful to deal with that, too. But I think these. These circumstances in the back of our mind, in our. In come back up. Right? So for me, a big thing I had to overcome was visibility, you know, to put yourself out there, especially today, on social media and to know that someone might say something unkind is to immediately take you back to high school, immediately bring up imposter syndrome, right? And so if there's something like that for you, for any of your listeners who are out there thinking, I'm afraid to be seen, or I'm afraid to be visible, or I'm afraid someone will say something ugly, or I'm afraid I won't be good enough, or I'm afraid, afraid whatever the thing might be at some level of probably imposter syndrome, hiding, lurking in the background, know the only way to slay that dragon is to get out there and do it. And it's easier if you go, you know what? I bet someone's going to say something ugly about me. And if they do, they're not my right fit client. You would call it your dot, but you know, they're not the person I'm meant to serve. And once I started attaching myself to that gave me so much freedom. When I really started to look at what a hater might say or someone bullying me on social media might say, one, it was a fraction compared to all the positive change I was creating. But it's really easy to focus on the one negative thing instead of all the positive things. So focus on the positive. And then I'd look at that person and think, are you really the person I meant to serve? Are you really the person that I was hoping to, to work with, to support? And nine times out of 10, I'm like, I. If I. And this, I hope, I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't want to sit down and have a cup of coffee with you. If I met you, I would literally think you're not my person. And I would walk the other way.

As Trent Shelton. Trent Shelton calls them delusioned fans because they're still following you. Like, he's like, when I would see people post on like 6 of my videos in a row, you're not feel you're just an ex NFL football player. He's like, I would just write back and say, it's the sixth video you commented on. You're a delusioned fan. Come on, let's just get real. And if I can help you, I'm here. I'm like, that is a good perspective. Anyway, I just had to share that. I love that.

No, it is. I'm gonna remember that. And so don't let that hold sway over you. You know, do not let what one person's negative comment something they said to you in junior high or high school or college control you forever. Don't let something someone says on social media keep you from doing your big dream. And don't let nagging fear that you might not be good enough keep you from believing you are. Because I think I really believe we're all capable of more. Like, we're all born with the ability to be more. But you do have to take that first step to do it. And in addition to imposter syndrome, I think most of us are introverts. I think we read as extroverts, but most people in this industry that you would think are the most extroverted people on the planet. Truth be told, we're the most introverted people on the planet. But we believe enough in our mission to get out there and be visible and do it anyway.