Marriage, Mindset, and Marketing. How ONE Thing Impacts EVERYTHING w/ Cody Sperber

One in ten Americans are millionaires. Figure out what subconscious programming is preventing you from getting out of your own way. This is your wake up call that you can stop right now.

Own your future. Because if you don't, someone else will. Welcome back to the own your future podcast. Because the fact is, if we don't own our future, someone else is gonna. I'm so excited to sit down with my guest today. Someone I've known for probably over a decade. Probably head for 12, 13 years the time you saw me in the elevator. We could talk about that later, but hey, I'm really excited to share and kind of pull back the curtain. You might know this gentleman as the clever investor. See him all over YouTube, all over Facebook. This guy, you can tell this guy has a blast making money, a blast with ads, a blast serving other people. And the truth is, I got to see behind the curtain. I know the kind of behind the scenes pieces. I'm going to get into some of those today and I think you're going to absolutely enjoy. I'd go nowhere. I know you got lots of options, lots of podcasts, lots of distractions, but my whole goal here, our guest Cody Sperber asked me, what's our goal here today? Said let's serve people. Let's give them what they need to truly own their future. To serve, see, have, have new opportunities to investigate new areas, to live more abundantly, live more congruently, live more profitably. And that's what we do here. If you like this podcast, make sure you like it, make sure you share it. Cody Sperber, good to have you here, man.

Thanks for having me on, Dean.

Yeah, it probably has been 10 years.

It's been a solid, great 10 years, by the way. Yeah. You've been a great mentor of mine and somebody I've, I've looked up to. And oddly enough, we've walked kind of some parallel paths coming in the. From the real estate side.

Exactly.

Marketing and real estate.

Yeah. You know what's funny is before we get in here today and today, what I want to talk about is how can congruency actually make you more money and make you happier? Like real deep congruency. And if you don't mind, I'm going to ask you some personal questions. I know you've been through a lot in the last 12 months of your life. And then secondly, I want to know, how do you turn marketing into not only service, but fun? You have a fricking blast with marketing. I don't want to hear what your mindset Is around when you do your funky ads. And I just saw some this week. I was like, this crazy guy. You were dressed up as Barbie or something?

Yeah, Barbie and Ken versus Oppenheimer. It's our newest ad concept.

Yeah. So before we get started, though, I have to. The story you tell the first time we met is hysterical. I remember.

Oh, it's great. It's great. Well, you know, I mean, obviously, you're a goat. You've been in the game for so long. You pioneered a lot of this space. And so, being from the same city state as you, I've known about you forever, and you've kind of been the gold standard in education. And so it was. It was always like, I knew I'd run into you at some point, and. And I happened to be on the phone at the airport going into a real estate transaction that was going sideways on me a little bit. And I have my attorney on the phone, and I was, like, multitasking, and I was going. Getting into the elevator, and I hit the button, and the elevator opens up, and there's Dean Graciosi. And I'm like. I'm like, hold on, please. As I'm yelling at my attorney to, like, do something. And I'm like, dean, oh, my God. I. I'm a huge fan. Like, how are you? And you're like, sperber, I love a lot of the stuff you're doing, man. We gotta connect. And I'm like, that's amazing. Like, you know who I am. Like, this is wonderful. And I'm so excited. I get. I finally got to meet you. And we kind of swapped spots. You were getting off, I was getting on.

And.

And right as we swap, I said, man, I would love to. Love to hang out with you, get to know you better. What's your phone number? And you go, my phone number is. And then the elevator doors close.

I just always remember that. And I remember your enthusiasm. It was great. But that was a snorkel. It was like a movie. It's like. It is.

Yeah.

The doors closed. But anyway, hey, pleasure to have you here. And we call it the Own youn Future podcast. And I love asking this question. To start, I bet if you were here two years ago and I said to you, could Cody, what does it mean to own your future?

Right.

It's different for everybody. For me, I just didn't like not being in control of a lot of things as a kid. I want to own my calendar. I want to own the dad time, the mom time, my wife time, what I Get to do for a living. But I bet if I asked you what it meant to you a year ago, I bet you it's a little different today.

Massively different.

What does it mean if I say, what does it mean to Cody Sperber to own your future today?

Yeah. So last year, when my mom passed away of cancer, leukemia, and it was a pretty rough last, probably year and a half, but the last six months was. Was brutal. And at the same time, I'm going through a divorce. So it was like wherever the basement of rock bottom is, that's. That's where I was last year. When somebody goes through that much trauma, in turmoil, you really do shift perspective. Very, very good. Some. Some guys need ran over. And I'm one of those guys. And. And when I got to that place and I finally gave up control and I said, God, I'm ready for change. I'm ready for. To get back in congruency and alignment and get clarity. I'm sure we'll talk about all that. Everything shifted. When I think about your future, first off, when you're in alignment with your purpose, everything comes easy. Everything starts to happen faster. Happening for you. Opening doors. The clarity, the certainty, the excitement, all of that comes to focus. But I don't think like that. I'm not a big, like, let's go way off into the future guy. I'm like, how do I own my moment? How do I own my present? And so it used to be I was always trying to kill the money game, and that was my number one focus. Like, how do I murder the money game now? It's just, how do I win today and be the greatest dad I could ever be, the greatest co parent I could ever be, the greatest friend I could be, the greatest partner. All those things. And I want to win on every level right this second. I don't even care about tomorrow. I'm like, today I'm gonna leave my mark. I'm gonna dominate. It's super bowl. I'm going in. Coach put me in. And I'm so fired up for this second that my owning it. Yeah, naturally happens. And the control comes, the enjoyment comes. The joy came back into my life again.

Yeah.

And it's just. It's just a different software download. And it's weird because nothing changed. Like, nothing really changed, but my view of things changed.

Yeah. Just different perspective. That was a different set of glasses. And the reason I ask you that is because I have known you for a long time. And I have to tell you, I hope you've seen that. I've always saw two sides of Cody. And you know, I always told you that. So I'm not being. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with everybody, but I'd be at a live event with you and you'd say hi and you'd tell me I'm killing. I'm doing great. And what I would pull you aside and say, are both sides aligned? Because I. I just always. I have goosebumps thinking about it, man. Because I'm happy to see you're in such a good space right now. Yeah. But I could always. I felt. And you. I really hope you don't mind because people need this. People watching right now. Everybody wants to make more money, have more success. But if we're not congruent, if we're not living, would you take success without fulfillment? Not in a million years. Right. So I'm always going to talk about both. But I saw in you this happy front of stage, the life of the party, the fun ads. But I felt there was incongruency or just unhappiness that you never faced in the back. I don't know how to explain that to you. I'm not a prophet. I'm not trying to make me sound so holy. I just. I felt an affinity to you. I felt a connection to you. And I always felt obligated to say I think you're meant for more. And I hope you were never insulted by that. It was because I saw it in you. If I didn't see it, I wouldn't said a word.

Yeah.

Did you know you were like. Because I see you, I feel your growth happening right now exponentially. And I am not any part of that. I didn't create that. This is all you. But I saw it in you. And I just want to share that. What is the right word to describe it? Is it congruency? Is it facing your demons? Is it facing insecurities? Like if someone said, what the hell do you think you were doing compared to the Cody you were two years ago compared to the Cody you are now is not the same to me. What do you think did that?

Well, I mean, if I was to be raw and real and honest with your audience and you know my story from our us talking. But look, entrepreneurs become great entrepreneurs. And most of them that. I know that we have a lot of trauma. And that trauma from childhood or from our environment growing up catapulted us into this position where we, We. We had to find our own path. We had to fight for the control. Because we were so out of control as children, I didn't realize how much my subconscious trauma was affecting my decisions and the way I viewed the world. And when you. It was all it was. I. I kind of explained it. Like, Dexter. Like, I had this dark passenger. I couldn't figure out, like, what's the it factor that made me so great, made me so obsessive to dominate my goals and. And win this money game and. And kill it in real estate and become the best. Like, I looked at you, and I was like, dean's great. I'm gonna. I'm gonna beat Dean. I gotta beat him. I gotta beat everybody. Like, I just had this obsession. Where does that come from?

Right? You know, most of the time, you're running away from something painful, and sometimes when it's painful, you run even harder away from it.

And that's what I've been doing. My whole adult career was running. And I. In my marriage, first of. I want to. I want to start with. My marriage was always good. I never had a bad marriage. We fought three times in 18 years. We were married for 14. She is a phenomenal woman that has a very high level of emotional intelligence. Great supporter. Any guy would be lucky to have her. Most people would be like, how the hell did you even get her? Yeah, I made it 14 years in the marriage before I broke character, before I was out of alignment. And something happens as you become more successful. And I was deeply unhappy inside. I was searching for joy, and I just was like, us entrepreneurs, we either search for it in vices and we hide our pain in alcohol or drugs or gambling or women or whatever.

Alcoholism.

I was hiding it in a cheat achievement for many years. But then I became successful. Then I had money, then I had options. And so I hate social media. It's weird because I use social media as a great marketing tool, and it's a great way to connect with people. And there's a portion of it that I love because it really does impact a lot of people in a positive way. I hate it because it opens doors that I should never walk through. And it. It's just too much access and too many opinions and all those things. And so for me, as I became, I was the first real estate entrepreneur to break a million followers. I did it very early on Instagram, and everybody was like, you're the man. You're the man. You're the man. And I'm meeting people like you, and I'm getting invited to speak on all these stages, and everybody loves me. And I come off stages and all the women want to talk and all the guys want to be me. And it gets to your head. And the ego grew out of control. And my unhappiness and that divide between. And my relationship with Shannon, it was like two best friends doing life together, raising children. But I never brought her fully into the business. I never brought her fully into my world. I never shared my real pain and my trauma with her. And so we went one degree in two directions over 14 years.

Yeah.

And one day I woke up and I'm like, how the hell did you get way over there? And I couldn't. I didn't know how to get back. I put her into her masculine. I got disconnected emotionally from her intimately. And I didn't know how to get back, man. I don't. I didn't want to get back. I felt like I need. I needed something else in my life. And. And that's when I started cheating on her. And it was. It was. Can I cuss on this?

Sure.

It was like it was up. I look back now and I would do anything to take it back, to take that pain I caused.

First off, I want to just commend you for having the. The vulnerability to share that. And I wasn't expecting you to share that, but it. It means a lot because there are so many people who have gone down the wrong road and haven't faced it yet and haven't gone because. And I want you to continue the story, but, you know, you're listening today, whether you came from marketing, personal development, life, just because, you know, Cody, know me, we all have stuff, and we're all fighting the good fight. And what makes an interview like this so powerful is that people go, wow, it's not just me, or it's not just me that went through that could be somebody on the opposite side and they get to see a glimpse of your side. Right. And realizing that we all do stuff that's stupid. We all make mistakes, but it doesn't happen overnight. It's usually one inch at a time. Like if you can't swim, you don't jump in the deep end. Walk in a half inch at a time. You don't realize when you're underwater. Yeah. I think this last year you realized you were underwater.

Yeah. And it was funny because when I asked afterwards, I went to all this therapy and they teach you about green light, yellow light, red light behaviors, and I was doing a lot of yellow light things before I even realized it was happening. Opening DMS conversations, just flirting Little things that you look back now and you're like, well, duh. No wonder. I was tippy toeing in that direction for long enough that it was only a matter of time before it happened. And it was weird because I, I was giving hints to Shannon that I was breaking character. Now looking back, she put all the pieces together. But for a while I was like, I was fighting this misalignment in, inside because I want to be a good guy. I want to do the right thing. I want to be a standup dad and, and partner. And it was, it was one girl and it, it happened. And when it happened, it was like I kept this little secret in the background and it was a, it. I didn't really have a relationship with this woman. It was very like transactional and we would just see each other. She had a boyfriend and a kid and I, she knew who I was and, and we would just see each other, meet up and hook up and that was it. But once you do something like that, it becomes easier and easier to keep doing that and something funny happens. Us entrepreneurs, we justify it and we, oh, I'm just gonna get the kids through high school and then I'll, I'll, I'll get a divorce and like, it'll be all good. But something happened. I was, I did this for years, Dean years, and nobody knew. And I never got caught. I, I told on myself eventually. But something happens when you are so out of alignment. You say to yourself, why is nothing happening for me? Why can't I figure out how to get to the next level? Like, what is it that I'm doing wrong? I'm stuck financially, I'm stuck emotionally, my partnerships are stuck, my relationship stuck. I'm not a very good dad. What the hell's going on? And then my mom started dying and it was such a rough last six months that I just started internalizing this pain. And I was like, oh my God, I have so much anger inside me. I have to let, let this go. It was like a thousand pound weight. And sitting down and telling Shannon was the hardest thing I ever did. And it was shocking to her because I was such a stand up guy to the rest of the world. And here I am. Miss. It's just so far out of alignment with my wife. She, you know, she did what she should have done. She immediately kicked me out. And I disclosed everything it took. She did a six hour session of asking me every question and I, I answered everything and took total ownership. And then my mom passed away and it was like the worst month of my life. And I made this decision that I was not. I wasn't gonna. I wasn't going to be in a position where anything like this would ever happen to me again. And I kept looking at my daughter and just feeling like a massive failure to her because I would be so upset.

Imagine if that happened to her, if.

That happened to her and her dad. Shannon's dad hated me. He wouldn't talk to me. He wouldn't look me in the eyes. He wanted to murder me. And I understood. And so I immediately checked myself into Scottsdale Counseling Services. It's one of the best programs in the country. I didn't know what kind of addiction I had or what it was, but I had multiple addictions, like sex addiction, work addiction, achievement addiction. Like whether you want to admit it or not, it's what makes you great. It's also the number one thing that holds you back. And going through, they have this program, I got really lucky. It was $10,000. It was intensive. One week. You shut off all social, all businesses, all everything. And you go through 14 hours of therapy a day for a week straight through that. I did horse therapy, acting therapy, one on one therapy, emdr, group therapy. And I was with the greatest group of men. It was the only time there was a group of all men. It was the only time that every man in there was an entrepreneur. In order for me to get into this, I literally rolled up to Scottsdale Counseling Service, or psychological counseling services, what it's called. I rolled up to, I called them and I said, hey, I need to get in here right now. And they said, sorry, we're booked out for months. I said, you have to get me in. She said, sir, I'm sorry, there's no way to get me in. I said, okay, great. I hung up the phone. I went and got $10,000 cash. I drove to the the office, I put the money on the table, I brought an extra $500 and I greased the, the secretary and I said, you move somebody right now and you get me in. And tears are coming down my eyes. I'm freaking out. And she looks at me and she goes, okay, I'm going to move some people around, I'm going to get you in. She felt that desperation in me and it was. I just got so lucky because I went in with this group of men that were all super high level guys that understood me. And we went through this experience together. It was the greatest week of my life because I came out of there with a thousand Pounds lighter, with so much clarity and a plan. And over the next year, like, eight months, I fought every second of my day to get back in alignment with Shannon, with my kids, with. My first thing I did is I went around to every business partner, and I apologized and I disclosed everything to them. And I said, if I can. If I can break character with my wife, I can break character with you. And I need this to be right. And thank God everybody in my life, from you to everybody else, gave me so much grace and worked with me through that, that time. And on the other end of it, I started to get back in alignment with my purpose, starting to get back in alignment with my actions, with my words. And something funny happens when you're in alignment with your purpose, the joy in your life starts to come back. And it's weird, because it's almost like the way I felt is like I was swimming up from the ocean, and it was deep and dark, and I could see the light. It was, like, way up there. And all of a sudden, I just started getting a little bit more feeling back in my arms and my legs, and. And the light started to surround me a little bit more. And then all of a sudden, it was like I could breathe again. I can see again. I'm excited again. And somehow, through the grace of God, I now have. I. I. People didn't know this, but when I was going through the worst of it, I used to tell Shannon I would. I was going to work out, but I was actually going to church. I would go sit in the back and cry during the service. I got my relationship back on track with God. I got. And that was one of the first things they taught me. It was these concept of intimacy circles. Yeah, I never heard of an intimacy circle. It looks like a dartboard, right? But it's like, who's in the center? Who's in the bullseye? It's supposed to be you and your relationship with your creator. It was not me, not my creator. It was everybody else that was like, I was triaging and making important for the moment, and I was, like, way over here somewhere. So I got my intimacy circles back on track. I understood what behaviors I should be doing and not be doing. I wrote out a ton of, like, goals and things that I wanted to get clear on with my kids and how I wanted to show up as a man for them. And as I started working towards it, somehow, through the grace of God, I was able to go through this unbelievable divorce. People don't. They've never seen it. I'VE seen it because I watched you. But, like, I used no attorneys in a very expensive, high level divorce. We made it all the way through. I am now great friends with my ex, probably better friends than I've ever been. I'm great friends with her and her new boyfriend. We're super tight. They're like, how are you partying and hanging out with, with your ex and her boyfriend? I'm like, because that's what a man should do, you know? I immediately went deeper with my son. That was my biggest regret growing my companies is the lack of a relationship I had with my son. I was good with my daughter because we connected. It was easy. My son was difficult, and so I started doing really fun things. Like, I took him to this experience. It's called the Squire program. It's with Bedros Kulian. And it's all about teaching young men to step into their masculinity. And it's like a knighting for young men. And the dads and the kids go through it and it's this really tough seal type experience. And every time I started doing more activities like that, our bond grew closer. And next thing you know, my son is like my best friend again. And we're super connected.

And I want to, I want to. First off, I want to, I want to unpackage some of these things. First off, thank you for being, thank you again for being so vulnerable. You know, every time I see you on a podcast, it's always about the money, the marketing. You're killing it. And you're. Oh, you always hold that, that fun vibe, which you are, and you're more fun than ever. But thank you for being vulnerable because there are so many people in life struggling with something might not be the exact same thing as you, but there's some, there's some common threads of things you shared. Right? The vulnerability, that's one. But the second, we're using the word congruency. And I just know in my own life, the moment I got so congruent that I'm going to tell you the promise I made to myself when I went through a divorce. Six, seven years ago, I met my wife, Lisa. I knew I didn't want to bring some of the same dean to this new relationship. And I did some of the same work and I went to therapists and I got a love coach and read the books and interviewed people, happy customers. One of the things I learned, and maybe this is something you could take away today because you said my business was stuck, my life was stuck. I Felt stuck as a parent. There are people stuck right now thinking, I want this next level. I want the passion. I want my wife to look at me this way or my husband to look at me this way. But you're still checking your DMs, you're still doing stuff when no one's watching. And I made a promise. And I think because you live in this town, because we've been friends, you know this to be true. And I couldn't say it if it wasn't. I made a promise when I was committed to my wife, who I'm married to now. I made a promise to myself. I said, I want to make it that if my wife hired a private detective that could film me 24 hours a day for seven days and she watched 100% of that footage, that she'd come back to me and love me more. And that's something I don't share publicly all the time, but I live that way right now. And I didn't live that way. My wife. I don't have a password on my phone. You know, you probably had a password on your phone. You probably want it next to you all the time. Or make sure my wife could look at my DMs, look at my phone, look at my life. And then I thought to myself, well, if I want my wife to do that, what if my kids watch that same video? Would they be proud of me? And I said. Then I started thinking, what if my parents watch that video? And I have to tell you, since I've made that promise to myself, and maybe somebody today could make that commitment. My life has exploded in such a good way. My businesses have exponentially grown. My partnerships have grown. My joy for life has grown. My connection with my kids has grown. And I think one of the greatest gifts somebody could have today is to realize we all go down a road. Being unfaithful is terrible that that happened in your life. Terrible. And also it happens. And you admitted it, and you worked on it, and you just didn't ignore it. And the things you did and the work you put in and the honesty you had with Shannon, you had no idea if she was ever going to come back. If she never talked to you again, you told me she'd be right in not to.

Yeah.

And to see you guys at a birthday party together, all smiling, it's just really beautiful. And I just want to commend you for putting the work in you just didn't hope it did.

And I do want to say one thing, though, Dean, because you Gave me some of the best advice I've ever received, because I was coming out of. I was in the middle of the who is Cody? Re reimagining what my life in the future was going to look like. And you sent me this wonderful audio message, and you said a bunch of things, but one of the things you said was, look, look, brother, you're wealthy. You got everything going for you. You're the top 1% of the top 1%. And you have to make a choice right now of what kind of man you want to show up as. You can go around and hook up with every girl in town, and it'd be easy. But if you want a valuable woman to show up to you, you got to control your value and what you're giving away to others. And you were the only person that told me that. Every other person was like, where are you going? Where are you vacationing? Who are you going to hook up with? What are you going to do? And I took your advice and I logged it in, and I thought about it, and I said, you know what? That's. That's the best advice I've ever received. And since then, I haven't gone around and, like, went crazy like I could have. I've been real controlled.

There's going to be a point where there is going to be the right person in your life, and Shannon is going to celebrate you because she's going to know that your kids are witnessing what it's like to do it right. I have goosebumps thinking about it because I know I'm dear friends with my ex, but I know my relationship with my wife. All four of my kids are watching. They're watching how I treat their mom, whether it's my previous wife or my current wife. They're watching how I treat the situations. They're watching. If a really pretty girl walks by, where do dad's eyes go? They're watching. If I look at my phone and I kind of tilt it to the side, like I could watch a dude in two minutes. It's girl. And he's got the slight little.

We know all the tricks.

He's got the slight little tilt on the phone. You don't think kids look at all that. Or my kids when they grab my phone and go to look through my camera, and they go back two years, five years, seven years, I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Right. I know that sounds little. And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect. I've made more mistakes. As many mistakes as you as anybody watching right now, I've made mistakes. But I know right now living congruent allows this. Do I still have things to work on? Hell, yes. Have I screwed up? Guilty. But maybe, maybe that's the greatest lesson today, is facing it. Face the demons, face the dark side. And I think one thing. Here's something I want to ask, and then I want to get to marketing.

Yeah.

Did you ever think that the Cody you used to be the driver, the. The entrepreneur just freaking takes what you want? Did you ever think that that was the thing that made you successful and if you became this guy that sat in the back of church or you came congruent, that maybe that edge would go away?

100. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's funny, too, because you justify so many actions along the way, and is it stupid? And you look back and you're like, what, dumbass? Look, my friend Wes Watson says a phrase. He says, I want to be ripped, rich, and rare. And I always took that as like, oh, that's who I want to be. I want to be. Look, one in ten Americans are millionaires. I wouldn't have thought that. That's. That's a real stab. But only 1 in 25,000Americans have a six pack. Why are more people wealthy than healthy? It's crazy how many of us hide all the trauma and pain and achievement, but yet we don't kill it on the health side or in the relationship game or in the spiritual game or all of it.

Yeah.

You can't have it all. You just are in your own way and the way you're. You're thinking about things. And I want to be one of those people that have millions of dollars and a six pack or an eight pack, you know, like, let's go.

Let me ask you something before we get a couple questions on marketing. Been through this incredible journey. You hit the bottom. Feels like you're at the top right now. I think you're. You're only halfway up because, yeah. Once you're aligned with someone in your life where your children are happy, your ex is happy, and you found someone that lights you up every day, I know because of what you went through, you won't make those mistakes in the future. And I know there's a whole nother level you haven't seen yet, so I look forward to that. I can't wait to interview you in two years from now when you're with the love of your life and you're like, God damn it, why? This is where you know. So I know that's coming, and I want to just put that out there in the world for you. But even though you've been through that, and if. If you ever watch Cody on any other interview, you're fun. You're. You're. You're just. You're the life of the party where you go places. Right. But sometimes what people don't realize and they see you and see your confidence, and now you're working out. You look good. You're ripped, man. There's still things you worry about when no one's watching. There's still things you're afraid of. Some things you might have worked out in the last six months, but what's a fear that you have that no one would think you have?

Oh, wow. It's probably more focused around my kids, maybe, because it. I. I don't have. I don't think like that right now. I'm really struggling. No, but that's great to even think about that. But maybe.

Maybe. What was your fear that you are facing?

Yeah, I think. I think if anything, it's just. I feel. It doesn't matter what level you're at. I know for me, every time I reach a new level, I still feel like there's so much more potential in me and so much more I want to do. And I feel like I'm always running out of time. So I. I feel like if you're like, Cody, you're so successful, I'll be like, I haven't even. I don't. I haven't done anything real significant. Yeah. Like, that's how I feel.

Y.

And so my fear is running out of time before I can really make an impact. Yeah. Step into my own and make a bigger impact. I. I'm in a phase now where my kids are becoming teenagers. So my fears really.

It's a perfect time for you to step in, though, at the depth you're stepping in.

And it's been helping me because I. We. And going back, I. I feel like me and you, bro, are broing out on this podcast right now because I called you and you were like, dude, still minutes in the car. Like, drive them everywhere you can and, like, just find little ways to connect with your kids. And I've been doing that, and it's been great because now my daughter is, like, closer than she's ever been with me. She's sharing things that she's thinking about and the fears.

You want to hear something funny? Because we have a mutual friend, Anthony Morrison. So Anthony calls me, and I've been pushing that dude, to have a kid for 10 years, if you ever ask him. I sent him. I, I met him 10 years ago. We're not dear friends. We don't talk every day. Talk to him a few times a year. Every time he texts me, I'm like, you have a kid yet? Stop messing around. He's got a beautiful wife. She's beautiful inside and out, right? I knew they'd be great parents. He's like, I don't know. I don't know. Now he's got his second. He's like, maybe two more, right?

Yep.

But he said to me, but one thing I told my wife, if we're gonna do kids, I am not getting up early and driving them to school and picking them up. That's your job. I'll take care of the businesses. So he tells me, and I said, let me tell you something. And then I told him, I said, my greatest moments. When my little girl, Brianna, who's now going to be 17 and has a boyfriend when she was 4 years old, in the back of the car taking her to four first grade or kindergarten, I'd say, hey, kid, what can you tell your dad? And she'd say, I know, dad. I'm like, what can you tell your dad? She goes, anything and everything I said, and I'm never going to throw it back in your face. And I remember her being nine. She's like, dad, please stop asking me. But now she's 17. I'm like, hey, kid. She's like, I know. All right, Dad, I want to tell you what's going on. My boyfriend. So I said, anthony. Never would have worked if I wasn't in the car. Never would have found out about the boyfriend, about the this, about the that. And he's like. So he left me a message. The only reason. I'm sorry. He left me a message. God damn it. I told my wife, I am taking these kids to school. No one else is taking them but me.

It's a great way for a dad to steal minutes. It is.

You steal minutes. So, hey, I, I, I appreciate you sharing that. So let's switch a little bit. Let's. Let's talk about marketing. Is a marketing podcast. At least we're today. I looked. I think we're the number two marketing podcast in the world this morning. So thank you for all of you for sharing this, for liking it, for. For listening. So let's talk a little bit about marketing here. What? Before I ask you about how you have fun and some of the ads you do, or maybe some of the things you've recognized that are changing in the marketing world, what is your vision, your perspective of selling? Everybody has different perspectives. Some afraid, some love it, some, some feel it's a must. Other people are like, oh my God, I get to sell. Well, how do you look through the lens of selling?

Yeah. So first off, my background, I didn't come from money. So it's it. Real estate was the vehicle that changed my life. When you're in, when you discover something, I if you would ask me as a kid, do you want to do real estate? I would have been like, sure, everybody wants to do real estate. But that wasn't my desire. I wanted to be a 9th grade history teach or a marine biologist. So years later, when I discovered this world of creative no money down real estate. And I went and did it, fell in love with it, and it changed my life. I was the first millionaire in my family ever. By 28, I was a millionaire. By age 30, I multimillionaire retired my parents. Like it just radically shifted the trajectory of the Sperber family forever. And I since then went off and done thousands and thousands of real estate deals. I'm in the process of buying $131 million apartment building right now. We're developing all kinds of commercial assets. Like I'm doing things I never my wildest dreams could have ever thought that I would potentially be able to do. And the money's crazy and I don't pay taxes. What vehicle can you be in where you can make silly money and not pay taxes and waste your money that way? And so now I get to have more money to go further faster and I get to apply that money towards the passion projects that I think will really make a difference in this world. So when you feel that way, you start to change your perspective on success. And it took me about six years or eight years of working my way up the food chain before I started to really think about money different and marketing different and success different. I don't think it's an option. I think it's an obligation. And when you think that really good. I like that when you think that way, you're like, oh man, I have to share this with everybody. This is crazy. Why aren't they teaching this in school?

School?

Why doesn't my dad ever tell me this? Like, I've had many conversations with my dad. I'm like, dude, you missed the whole conversation about like wealth and financial literacy and what he's like, I didn't know how to do this stuff. My dad died when I was 13. I raised myself. He came out of the Great Depression. They were hoarders of.

True story.

And so it was like that's. My parents were hoarders. Like they saved every little nickel and you couldn't get it out of them. And so for me, I just think about money and, and all that so differently than most. Like I'm. I love speed. I, I think people that are the most successful make decisions quickly. They move money quickly. They, they do marketing aggressively. They have certainty in their decisions. And so I love to sell. I think it's my obligation, but only what I'm truly passionate about and really know. And so I.

So what advice? If you have a friend that says, I got this great idea, this company's off the ground, but ah, selling. I'm just not in love with it. What advice do you give a friend?

I'd say one or two things real fast. I'd say you either immediately partner up with somebody that doesn't feel that way and get yourself.

Or shift your mindset.

Yeah. Or immediately shift your mindset and quit being a little bitch and get out of your own way. Because this is crazy if, if you really feel that way. Like when I make an investment decision, I'm never speculating. I did my research. I understand what I'm doing. I might not know the outcome exactly, but I have that calculated risk intuition in my gut and I put my money where my mouth is. Very quickly. I'm. I go all in.

Yeah.

And I'm willing to burn the boats to go all in. Not many people roll like that through life. I do that in, in my health. People are like, dude, if you saw my before and afters, it's literally 24 months ago. I'm dad bod, droopy, like not excited at the beach to take off my shirt. Like I'm the dad with the shirt on. You know, maybe some Tevas, I don't know. Like that guy. Now I'm like every chance I got. Like, if I could do this interview with my shirt off right now. Dean, you know how, how good life feel?

I feel a little embarrassed, but we.

But that's how I feel like I want to go all in in all aspects of my life. And with marketing and sales, I just feel like real estate's the right vehicle. The government tells us exactly what they want by, by, by doing tax benefits towards the projects that they want. They want affordable housing. So I'm going to go do affordable housing and I'm going to own real estate and not pay taxes. And so to, to just sum it up, if you're scared of sales, you need to go talk to go, go, go get Tony and Dean's courses, Go down this rabbit hole and figure out what subconscious programming is preventing you from getting out of your own way. Because hoping is not a strategy. And you say a famous thing all the time. You say, this ain't the field of dreams. Right.

If you build it, build it, they ain't coming.

They ain't coming. And I always remember that thinking, he's right. I gotta be the loudest cheerleader, the most enthusiastic, the most intentional end with this. On social, in life, in your community, in your church, in your neighborhood. We, if you look out, everybody is boring ass adults. They're. They're all boring. And then there's this one person that's so enthusiastic and out of control and their head pops up above the crowd and they're like, I'm over here, look at me. Hey, I'm excited. And everybody immediately looks at him and goes, what's this guy's problem? What's this girl's problem? What's wrong with this person? And then all of a sudden, over time, they're like, yeah, this person is kind of crazy. I wonder why they keep doing that. And then they're like, what are they doing over there?

And can I do what they do?

Yeah, what are they doing? And a very small group of people resonate over to there. And all of a sudden the tribe is built.

Yep.

And that's who I want to be.

That's a really good analogy. I like that.

Yeah, I don't want to be a boring ass at all. Why did we stop jumping in puddles? Yeah, what, what conditioning did we have? Because if you look at.

I knew. I know you still like that fun when I see you dressed as Barbie. So that's pretty awesome.

Well, yeah. I mean, look, it's noisy out there.

It is.

You got to cut through that noise with.

So that was the next question I want to ask you and thank you for that. It's such a. It's such a good analogy. And this is so much fun. I love asking a question and feeling your passion because people need to see this. People know. Need to know. If you really summarize, what we've done so far is we all have. We all have stuff. It depends on how we deal with this stuff, how we can get congruent, how we can make a shift at any phase of our lives. You could do it at. My father made a shift in his life, literally. At 80, my dad made the same mistakes over and over, and he'd bring himself back to the same relationship and wondering why history repeat itself and, you know, a prophet's not welcome in their hometown sometimes. So my dad, I'm just there as a supporter. I retired my dad when I was 27, and at 80 years old, he came to me one day and said, God damn it, thank you. I'm sorry, I'm a slow learner. And he's 87 now, and the guy's on fire. I mean, he had a stroke and. But he's getting through it, but he's a different man. He has a different mindset. His eyes fill up with tears because he feels like he missed it, but he's still in a really good place. And I think the reason I, I ask some of the questions I do is because he didn't need to miss it. He was a good man. My dad was a good man the whole time. Just, he got kicked in the teeth. His dad beat him senselessly. He was the youngest of 12 physically abused. And he never. Why I like talking about this, and today we opened up, we're talking about marketing, but we talked about personal stuff. Is because I watch a man, my dad, who's a good man, graduated top of his class in high school, smartest kid in his whole high school. Went to. Went to the army, was in Korea, took the math exam, was the only one that got 100% on the math exam in the army, didn't get one wrong. And he struggled his entire life with five marriages and divorces. And my sister doesn't talk to him, his brothers and sisters don't talk to him, his friends didn't talk to him, and the man was a millimeter off. So I say this out loud, I don't know if I've ever shared. It's one of the reasons I always love going upstream and asking questions like that is maybe if my dad heard this podcast when he was 42 years old, he could have got 50 years of, of a good life and he maybe has 10 of a balanced life. So thank you.

Yeah, I hope if you're listening to this and, and you're an entrepreneur and you're doing yellow light behavior, and you're in a marriage and a relationship, that this is your wake up call, that you can stop right now. Even if you cross some lines, you can stop right now. Total ownership, extreme action on the other end. Go get the help, you know, bar your soul to your significant other and fight like hell. To get back on track. I. I wish I had the courage to do it. And thankfully, because I'm sharing this, there's going to be some of you guys that DM me. I'm more than happy to coach you through it. I'm more than happy to point you to psychological counseling services and connect the dots there, because they did really help me. And when you are in alignment with your purpose, I promise you everything will start to happen in your favor. Everything.

Where's the best place for people to.

Find you at Clever Investor? Just on my Instagram and stuff. You know, I'm, I'm easy to find. I'm out there.

Last thing. Where do you see the future? You've been in this marketing game quite some time for somebody just getting in the game or they want to tweak their company. Where do you see the future, future of marketing going right now?

Yeah. So whether you like it or not, a personal brand is the most important thing that you could ever build for yourself. Even if you're just the CEO of a company, you should be encouraging yourself, plus your leadership team. Everybody should be building a personal brand on your team. You should create an army underneath you of people that are out there beating this drum, sending off these messages and enrolling. I mean, that's what we do. We're, we, we. Look, sales, persuasion, influence. What we're really doing is just enrolling people into our vision and helping people get the clarity to say, look, we all know what we do and how we do it and why we do it. But, like, what's in it for you if you do it with me?

Yeah, right.

Like, that's the missing.

You do it alone. But what about doing it?

Yeah, you can do it on your own, but we could both do it together and go one plus one could be 11 and we could go faster and it's more fun. Like, and this drives me crazy. This is a side note. I. I know a lot of solopreneurs, especially these, like, guys that are, like, on social, yelling at people and they're all like, motivational speakers and they're yelling at everybody and I'm like, why are you so angry? Like, I got great friends and great family and great life and I'm making a ton of Money where the 1% of the 1 percenters. Why are you screaming all the time like, you're so negative? I want to have fun and I want to do it with people that I care about. And so I think the future of marketing is building a great personal brand. And that starts with being extremely authentic to who you are. Your voice is your voice. Don't try to be Dean. Don't try to be a Tony. Be you. And I did try to be Dean in the beginning. I tried to be other people because I didn't have the confidence yet. And the second I finally stopped doing that and just said, you know what? I'm going to. Who's Cody? I'm goofy, I'm authentic. I'm sarcastic, I make fun of myself. But I'm also deadly serious. I'm very aggressive with my actions. I want to set a better standard. I want to show leadership. Once I got a little clear on my core values and who I am.

And the people who find you align with that, yeah, they're goofy. They want to do like, they have fun. They want to do these things right? So. And there's enough voices. Trent Shelton said something I thought was really powerful. He said, your voice is the only voice some people can hear.

So speak up, man. That's powerful, right?

Speak up. Because your personal brand. My people might not align, but somebody needs you, Cody, and somebody needs you watching to step it up. And I think what a great answer. Building your personal brand because it's true. Because there's so much noise out there, People need to know the authentic you.

And they can't take it from you. You can go into any business, any industry, any niche. You can sell anything. You can enroll people in all kinds of different things. I own supplement companies and network marketing companies and title companies and real estate companies and education companies. It doesn't matter. My brand is still your brand. My brand. And I can drive traffic to all of these different places. So I think that is number one. And number two is get good on video. Make video. Core competency. Have fun with video. I'm going bald. I got a bunion. I got a crooked smile. And none of that matters, right? I sound like a girl sometimes when I get excited. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is that you have fun with it and that you. You get used to talking on video. I can't tell you how many thousands of times I deleted the video as soon as I recorded it on my phone because I was embarrassed. And nobody's going to see that I sounded stupid. I messed up. No. Post the mess ups. They'll resonate more with that version of you than the scripted perfect suit and tie.

I love that.

Like that Cody. And once I got out of my own way, my brand blew up. My videos started converting better. My ad started converting. You mentioned A dress. I did an ad where I dressed. What's hot right now? Barbie, Oppenheimer and Barbie. So I dress up like all the characters. I'm like, I'm not an actor. I'm a real estate guy. But it's funnier when I don't know how to act. And I'm trying to be Barbie in a dress, and I'm trying to be Ken, and I'm having conversations with myself and we're playful with the video. People say, you what? And I'll end with this. When you're advertising on Facebook and YouTube and you're spending money on ads, there's like two components. There's the, the marketing and then there's the conversion. Right. So there's the ad and there's a conversion. You are the best in the world at both, but you're really great at the conversion. You really know how to connect with your audience. That took me a long time to learn. I was really good at this front end. Like, I can, I can get their attention. And that, those, those ads. There's two ads happening. If you looked at my, like, ad arsenal, there's these, like, really high, produced, fun dressing, like, Barbie ads right behind. That's the brand builder.

Yeah.

Right. By that, I get about 25% of my ad spend goes to that 75% comes to the ads that come right behind it. That's me either in my studio or out at a real estate project saying, do you want to make an extra 10, 20, or 30,000 extra dollars per month doing a side hustle as a real estate investor? I could show you these five techniques that will help you live tax free. Da, da, da. It's direct. It's the combo that allows me to scale my ads. And right now I'm spending about $175,000 a month on ads. I get about a 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 times ROAS, which means return on ad spend. So imagine if you had a business where you spent a dollar and you got three to four back every single time. Once I cracked that code on, like, how to, how to, how to do that, you can scale a business and then you can use that income and that because sales cures everything. I can go hire good marketing people and sales people and conversion people and build the company behind it. But if you don't have that skill, which is the most important skill, if you ask me, you can't really afford to do the rest.

All right, so, you know what I love about this is we got to talk I got to hang out and get caught up with my friend and hear from you. But one is congruency. It's never too late to make a shift. Never too late to be honest. Realize that we all have stuff, but it's what we do with that stuff. And if we keep doing the things that got us here, we'll continue to know what our future is. Or you can make a shift. I love that part today. And thank you again. When it comes to marketing, the future of marketing is build a personal brand, no matter where you are in your business or in your life. And how do you do that? By being you. The most authentic version of you. I know there's some people who follow you that might. Maybe I'm too soft. I speak about personal development too much and. And vice versa. But there's people are meant to follow you and people are meant to follow me. And there's people meant to follow you and listen to your word. This has been so much fun. I appreciate you coming on and being a part of this. Go look up Cody and the clever investor on Instagram. You got a fun account. You post some pretty funny stuff, man. I have to tell you, some really fun stuff.

I have fun with. It shouldn't I mean making money, having fun, that's the goal.

Yeah. Well, appreciate. Thank you for making one of this top podcast in the world. If you like it, share it, subscribe, let some friends know about it. We'll see you next time.