Mastering Sales | Dean Graziosi

Don't be a transactional salesperson. Be a relationship builder that's serving others. Be a relationship builder that's serving others. And you will never sell a day in your life and you will outsell anybody else you know, without even trying. How do you make marketing easy? How does marketing become something that's as easy to talk about as your favorite book, your favorite movie, or talking to a friend? How do you have compelling words come out of your mouth that you enjoy saying that simultaneously get people to go, oh, oh crap, I want what you're selling. So I figured we'd have a fun conversation around five different bullets today that you've heard of. You've probably learned in some of my training or learned here or learned in KBB or learned in Project Next or learned by being a part of mastermind.com but I want to frame it in a little bit different way today. And I want you to think about when it comes to marketing and how we can simplify this messaging in our heads. Right? I made up a story yesterday, but I want to go through five things that will take your life experience and turn it into your greatest marketing assets. Okay, life experience, turning it into your greatest marketing assets. And number one, I put a season, a slice or a scene from your life that gives you the credentials to teach it, to share it or sell it. I'll say that again. A season, a slice, or a scene from your life that gives you the credentials, the confidence to teach it, share it or sell it. Now, yesterday I made up a story. I did it all in 15 minutes on purpose about my relationship with my wife. It's an amazing relationship. I was not in the best relationship, I'm in the greatest relationship in the world. And I just shared a story of my life. When it comes to the knowledge industry, the information industry, the self education industry, I believe no matter what you do, if you have another business, attaching a knowledge product, an information product to anything you currently do can give you exponential growth or all on its own, just creating a product. Knowledge is the new currency, you guys. This is not just my term. You guys see this happening. It's heading towards a billion dollar a day industry. Covid when I said the world has shifted, the world has shifted to this. Being online shopping online, learning online, not going back to college, learning from people who have had experience. So yesterday I told a story. It was a scene, a slice of my life, of my parents, divorces. And I went through a divorce. And I realized if I wanted to attract the most amazing woman in my Life, I had to be the most amazing man, right? I thought to myself, if I just go to the next person, next relationship and bring my bad habits and bring my same shit, I'm just going to end up in the same place. So I found these fundamental six things, and it's true. And then I became the man that attracted my wife. And she's my dearest friend and I love her to death and we fall more in love every day. So I went through that process. It was just a scene in my life. And then I said at the end, who would like to buy a weekend? And everybody wanted to buy the course. I didn't have the course, but, but I want to share this. I want you to start looking at a season, a story or a slice in your life, right? I've said this before, when I did go through a divorce, I ended up getting coaches and I did this with you guys. So I'm just, I'm just priming the pump here because I really want to make this about you today. But when I went through divorce, I went back to all my fear of my parents divorcing. It was ugly and they hated each other and the fighting and it was just, ah, right, we all have our own stuff. But I felt like I was going to bring that to my kids and it was like driving me nuts. It was giving me anxiety and all this crazy stuff, right? But then I got a coach, a parent, a divorce coach, someone that did child centered divorce. I read books on it, I interviewed people that went through divorce. I asked everybody that I saw do it elegantly. And I came up with four different things that would make it so my kids wouldn't experience what I did. And when I came up with the four alone. And I'm just going to share the story. You guys are like family. So sorry if you've heard this story, if you haven't. This is family I'm sharing for the first time in my life. Five years ago, going through six years ago, whenever it was I went through a divorce, I had anxiety really bad. I couldn't shake it. And I just kept thinking my kids were going to experience what I did. And I'd go to bed at night like I was popping a Xanax a couple days a week. And I have never. I don't even take Tylenol, right? So when I went through the process, when I came up with these four strategies alone, the anxiety disappeared. And I realized that, number one, I had to become real friends with my ex, not fake friends, not just co parent Be an active listener. Doesn't matter what happened, doesn't matter. Some of the things that went on. If my kids deserve a child centered divorce, I had to find a way to forgive, forget, and be friends with my ex. Number two, I had to bring someone in my life that would appreciate my kids like their own and just respect that or else I would have been alone forever. I had to find boundaries and guidelines that we raised our kids the same way in separate houses, right? And we came up with the values we wanted to instill, not just the rules, but who do we want our children to be at the core when no one's watching, Right? And then the third thing is how do we emulate and replicate things in two different houses that feel comfortable for kids especially? They were at a really, you know, 8 and 10 or 9 and 11. They were right. So I came up with these four things. My anxiety went away and I started to implement. And sometimes, you know, my ex and I weren't on track. And then I met, after my divorce, I met my current wife, Lisa, and bringing all those pieces. But when I stuck to those core principles, when I stuck to those core principles, I watched my kids be stronger than they ever were. I watched them get to experience real love with my current wife where we hold hands and we respect each other. And I watched them watch their mom just expand and become the better version of herself. And I watched them how there was no contention. The reason I'm sharing this story is because that was a horrible mess in my life. It was a scene, it was a slice of my life. But there's an absolute fact my kids are thriving now. They do not feel any weirdness when they go back and forth to different houses. They love the fact that their dad has real love. They love the fact that their mom is growing and doing things on her own. They love the whole experience. I am not a therapist. I've never counseled anybody on a child centered divorce. I don't have any experience. I've never done any of it. But if you were going through a divorce, you need to know what I know. And in two minutes I can take that story. Some of it painful, some of it breakthrough, some of it why I was so scared and having a glass of wine at night just so I could calm my head down. I never really. I don't even drink coffee. Just being honest. I don't take Tylenol. I don't even drink coffee because I don't want to be reliant in the morning to say I don't feel good until I buy caffeine. So I refuse to drink coffee because I don't want to be reliant on anything. And I was finding myself wanting a Papa Xanax or wanting to drink a glass of wine. And I knew I had to do something right? But going through that pain, going through that journey, reading the books, getting a counselor, interviewing people and then applying it and having a great outcome. Who feels that I'm qualified? If you're going through a divorce, that I could help you make your kids have a be secure and safe right now. If you were going through divorce, those of you that aren't, no big deal, you might be going through divorce, don't have kids, or you never went through a divorce, you're happily married. None of you should be listening to that. But if you were going through a divorce and you're and you have children, if I didn't even do a full call to action, who would pay me $297 for a weekend zoom workshop to teach you everything? Those four fundamental pieces I used. Right now I got to ask you, did I make a big sales pitch? Are you offended that I told you that story? Are you offended that I would ask for $297 to share that experience? Or 997 or 97 bucks? Do you think that even one thing that I learned through pain, through screwing up, through learning, do you think just one thing out of that could help your kids thrive in a way where other kids suffer? Right? Did I have to do a fancy sales presentation with a slide deck and say yes or yes, and you need this. And today, for just this one simple price and you can click the button below. Did I have to do any of that? Would you guys buy what I'm selling if you needed that? So the reason I'm sharing that with you guys is I want to take away the fear of selling, the resistance to selling. Because here's the thing. It's time to evolve to that next level. Not dabble, not dream. It doesn't even matter if you haven't even started yet. You still know once you sell one, it's time to grow. The only way it grows, the only way it grows is if you fall in love with marketing and sales. Can I say it in another way? Fall in love with service. I think someday I will create a course on a child centered divorce. I don't have one. I want to do it. I might just give it away. Actually, I'm going to charge people because if people don't pay, they don't pay attention. And I'll give all the money away, 100% of it. I'll give it away to kids in need or something like that. But if people don't pay, they'll be like, ah, it's probably not that good. They pay 297 bucks. They'll go through the entire course. That's just unfortunate, fortunate and true. I want to help take away all the fear of sales. I want you to learn that your life experience, being a storyteller, sharing your pain, being vulnerable, really is the foundation of sales. Without being a salesperson. And once you love selling, right? Once you love marketing, once you know how to use your life experiences to enhance it. Let me ask you this, and this is not what I even planned on today, but I'm just going down this vibe, I'm going down this path. I hope it's cool. Hope you enjoy it. You guys having a fun time today? Leave me a thumbs up if you are. Okay? Think about this when you have, and I've shared this, but not as deep as I'm going to right now. Think about, think about, who here has ever read a book or watched a movie that freaking just floored you and you loved it, right? Or ate at a restaurant that you loved, right? I know I've talked about this before, but did you ever eat at a restaurant that was so good and you can't wait to share it and you're like, oh, my God, you have to go to this restaurant. This was homemade. The veggies were fresh. They named the farm that the vegetables came from. And oh my God, they did this and there was this sauce and it was healthy, but it was delicious. You gotta go. It's like you're shaking people. Let me tell you, when you share about a restaurant, a book or a movie, my God, you watched this movie and this guy was just amazing. And this love scene was incredible and it filled your heart. You can't wait to tell your girlfriend or whatever it is, right? When you share that, are you the best version of yourself or the worst version? If you're sharing something you love, are you animated? Do you have a smile? Are your shoulders back? Are your eyes wide? Have you ever told anybody about your favorite restaurant that absolutely floored you? Did you go, yeah, you know, the food was kind of good. There was a farm upstate. I don't know, they kind of shipped it in and then they serve it and then the dip so good. Like you wouldn't do that, right? But sometimes when people get to sales, they get worried. And that's how they present something they love, right? You have to realize that when we're selling something that impacts people's lives, that truly can allow them to jump over to make sure their kids are okay or their marriage is good, or they could sell better, eat better, love better, live better, right? If we know we could take them from where they are to where they want to be. Find that same enthusiasm. And the shift is unbelievable because you'll never sell again. A day in your life. You'll serve. So I want to share something. Think about this. I have one of my old classic favorite movies is It's a Wonderful Life. Anybody ever see It's a Wonderful Life around Christmas time? I know it's an old classic and I've probably watched it 20 times in my life. I probably could mouth every word of it. And I just love that movie. So think about the difference. If I wanted to tell you, I'm talking about using a scene, right? Using a scene from your life, a slice of your life. When it comes to selling, when you add in a personal story. If I was going to sell you to watch A Wonderful Life, I could say this. A Wonderful Life. It is a really solid movie. It is a movie about a guy that has a second chance. He didn't think his life was good. He said, I shouldn't even be here. And God gives him a chance to see what it like if he was never born. It really hits the heart. It's emotional, probably make you cry. And you'll appreciate things. You'll have gratitude in a new way. You might go watch it, you might not. But what if I said to you with a slice of my life in there or a piece of my life, say, oh, my, when it comes to A Wonderful Life, there's a million movies. They make better movies. They have more animation and stuff like that. But this movie, fundamentally for me, as a child, I didn't have a family. I didn't sit around the kitchen table and have that family unit. And this, this, this movie takes you on a journey of not only a family and what's the most important thing in your life and connection and love and support and kind of breaks that family up and shows you the other side. It gives this man the ability to see what really matters in life. And it helps me see what really matters in my life. I want to be a better dad because of this movie. I don't. I want to be blessed and grateful every day that I'm on this earth to fight. Even if stuff goes Sideways. Everything went wrong that you could imagine for this guy. And he still realized at the end of his life he'd still rather be with his family with everything going wrong than anything else. And it made me realize through all the divorces and my family and parents had and what I went through, I'm still so blessed to be on this earth to fight another day. And this movie, more than any other movie in my entire life reminds me of that. It's definitely a must see on your list. Who wants to see it now, right? All I did was insert a slice of my life. Did I do a fancy call to action? Did I have to be a strong salesperson? Or did I just tell you like I was going to tell you about the book, the movie, the restaurant, right? Now listen, some of you who are already great at sales are like, alright, Dean, I know you're beating this up, but I just know even people that are good with sales sometimes get too repetitive. You forget to be a human, you forget to tell stories, you forget to anchor it to your own emotions. And then we turn kind of into robotic sales people. Who gets the phone call? Wait, has anybody else been getting calls about a warranty on your car non stop? Is it just me or are you getting those calls? I'm so freak. Like all day my phone buzzes. I don't need a warranty on my car. But if you let them, if you listen to them for three seconds, they go into a robotic sales pitch. That is what makes sales suck. When people like that or the cold call on anything, they go immediately into their pitch. There's no emotion. It's a transaction. Don't be a transactional salesperson. Be a relationship builder that's serving others. Be a relationship builder that's serving others. And you will never sell a day in your life. And you will outsell anybody else. You know, without even trying. Another question. I talked about a seeing a slice. But remember, your mess sometimes is actually the thing that could qualify you. And here's the part that I love from Jenna Kutcher. Sometimes we feel like we got to be way on the other side of our mess before we share it. I was broke. I'm not broke anymore. I'm out of debt too. But I'm not rich yet. Let me share. Once I'm rich, Jenna said it best. The world needs to see your messy middle. Stop waiting for it to be perfect. Take them on a journey through your messy middle with them. What's up? What's up? Hey, don't forget to look at the action steps we've posted below. They are the perfect way to take your success abundance in this crazy world to a whole nother level.