Negotiation Skills: One Simple Tip On How To Negotiate

I'm going to share what I believe to be the biggest unfair advantage to winning any negotiation. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here. So when it comes to negotiating, a lot of people ask me that, Dean, you negotiate so well. Or if I close a deal, someone say, you did all that, and there was no yelling, there was no one upset. Everybody left the table feeling happy. And that's. That's a great byproduct to let everybody leave a negotiating table feeling like they won. That's a major win. But negotiating is everywhere. You're negotiating literally every day. If you have children, you're negotiating with them all the time. Believe me, I know. If you still live with your parents, you're negotiating with them. If you have a husband, a wife, friends, people at work, your boss, the people at work for you. Negotiating is something that we do on a regular basis, whether we realize it or not. So why not get good at it? And here's the thing. There's a lot of persuasive techniques and strategies to negotiate to win. But I want to tell you, I never knew any of those. And I would bet to say I'm one of the best negotiators I know. Now, I'm not saying that to pat myself on the back, believe me, I know there's a million areas of life that I suck at. That's just absolutely true. We all got to realize we all are going to suck at a lot of things. You only need to be good at one or two to transform your entire life. And that's. That's a true story. I know that from experience. But let's get back to negotiating. You see, what most people do, and maybe you do, and maybe I know I've done it in the past. When we're getting ready to walk into the boardroom, that's an extreme right? Walk into the boardroom to negotiate becoming a partner or the raise or going to the next level or evolving, or you're walking into form a partnership, or you're negotiating a deal on a house, whether you're buying it or selling it or negotiating a car, anything. What we do is we rehearse in our mind what we want to say. You see, we want the person on the other side of the negotiation to understand us, right? We want them to know that, man, this is why we should be partners. This is why you should lend me the money. This is why you should sell me the house at this price. This is why you should buy this from me. This we rehearse in our head. But I think our rehearsing is flawed. And let me tell you why it's flawed, because we are trying to figure out the best way to describe and to translate into them why they should do business with us, why we are the right person, why they should sell us the house or start the deal or whatever the negotiating is, right? Or your spouse, your husband, your wife, your kids should listen to you. We're rehearsing. How many times have you stayed up late at night thinking and looping in your head what you're going to say, how you're going to do it, what benefits you have, all that, and that's great, but it's a flawed way of thinking. And here's what I'll tell you through experience. The greatest tool we have to negotiating are our ears. That's right, it's ears. Because if you listen, I'm going to give you an example. When I was maybe 20 years old, I wanted to buy a piece of property in New York, right where I lived in a little hometown. This is one of the many pieces of property I bought through solid negotiating. So this property was for sale for $180,000. And Mrs. Mary Lepresti owned it. And a lot of people had wanted this property, but it wasn't really worth 180,000. It was worth more like 160. It was a three unit house. She lived in a basement or first floor and two people above. And everybody has been trying to buy this house. And Everybody is oftener 165, 167. And everybody's saying, Ah, Mrs. Lepresti, she's a mean old lady. She won't take nothing. She's never going to sell that house. And I said, and I thought to myself, now this is before, you know, now that I'm a teacher, I want to look back and see why do I win? Why did I win? Certain areas, right? I'm dissecting unique processes in my life. What I realized and whether I was born with or not, it's teachable. And, and everybody I teach who uses this, their life changes. So if you're here at the podcast you want this tool is I went and saw Mary, Mrs. Lepresti, and I shut my mouth and I opened my ears. And this may be one of the first times I realized the power of listening. Because if you ask a few strategic, strategic questions and shut your mouth, then the person on the other side will tell you everything you need to know to close that deal. Mary LoPresti what I found by just listening With a few questions, I realized that. And I knew. But her husband had died the year prior. And he said, when you sell this house, you have to get $180,000 for it. And that's it. Don't take a dime less. So that was anchored in her head. She wasn't a mean old lady. She was listening to her husband, who had passed away. But I also listened and heard her say that she wanted to sell it. And her whole reason for selling is she wanted to move to Florida and she wanted to buy a little condo with no worries. And that's what her dream and her goal would be. I was listening. So what I do is I found her fears, I found her desires, and I found her goals, all through what? Through listening. When she got all done, I said I knew for a fact that she had to get $180,000 for that piece of property. So I said, mary, I'd love to give you $180,000. And she lit up. I mean, she was glowing. I remember to this day, what a sweet lady. She was glowing. She said, you would. I said, yes, that's what your husband wanted. I want to give it to you. But if I'll do that for you, will you do something for me? I said, you want to go to Florida and live with no worries? How much a month do you need to do that? She said, $2,000. I said, okay, I'll give you the 180, but I'd like to get it with no money down. I'd like to give you $2,000 a month for two years. I'll buy it on contract, do a lease option, or you can hold the paper on it. But I'll give you $2,000 a month for two years. And at the end of that, I'll pay you the balloon balance of what's left, but no down payment. You pay the insurance on the house? Yeah, we were gonna leave it in her house. You pay the insurance on it and zero interest. Now, if you know what it's like to go into a house with no money down, no interest, someone else paying the insurance, and I think maybe the taxes. I went in. She was ecstatic. She went down to Florida. I sent her a check every month. About a year and a half in, I cashed out with the bank, and I got the deal. How did I negotiate? Was I a hardcore negotiator? Did I make her take my money? No. She used to make me pasta dinner on Sundays until she left. We became great friends. But I look back at every negotiation that I've won in my life. It wasn't through brute force. It wasn't through power. It wasn't through over explaining myself. What it was is me listening to what people want, listening to their fears, listening to their desires, listening to their goals. And then compute it and translate it in your head and see if you can make that a win for everybody. I'm telling you, I go to meetings to this day and I'll sit and say nothing for the first half hour. And I know people are saying, this guy's. They said he was smart. He hasn't said a word. He's kind of dumb. Especially guys. Let's just be honest, guys. Everybody, if I go in a room and there's five guys trying to get their point across, it's five guys pounding their chest telling who's better than next. Why my way is the best way. My why my department should handle this. Why my company should get your business. Why, why, why? Why this bank should. You should use this bank to get the money. And at the end of the day, I just listen, listen, listen. I already figured. Sometimes I listen so much and realize the best negotiation is no negotiation. This deal is never going to work because there's too high of expectations in the room. There's too many egos in the room. So sometimes I'll kill the deal before we even get started. So if negotiating is something that you think you don't do, think again. You're negotiating every single day. And if you're going to negotiate at an elite level where you get the deals done, then start using your ears more than their mouth. Remember, people will say yes to you when they feel understood, not when they understand you. Understand their fears, understand their desires, understand their goals. If you can wrap that into the deal, letting them feel like, wow, this person gets me on the other side of the table, you'll close it. What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them and I'll see you there. It.