Take the Shot or Lose the Chance | Why You Should Just Go For It w/ Alex Hormozi

If you have nothing going for you, it's another way of saying that you have nothing to lose. And so it means that you have endless shots on goal. And so you should be the most prone to taking action because there's nothing holding you back.

Own your future. Because if you don't, someone else will. Welcome back to the Own youn Future podcast. You know, I've been so blessed to bring on friends that are so cool and have so much depth of knowledge that this podcast has been doing incredible since. Since our new launch. And I want to say thank you for that. And today to say this gentleman's a friend. I think everybody says that when they first do an interview. This is my buddy Alex, our guest, who I'll interview here in a minute. And I met via text effort. And we spent like six months or a year getting to know each other. I laughed every morning at our text. You know what we laughed at before I introduced the formal stuff? It was a time where both of us waited to invest in cryptocurrency and we both talked about it and we both equally went in the day it reached its peak. Am I lying? And then we decided that it crashed after that, that we would not invest anymore because we didn't want to hurt the rest of the investors. So anyway, we built an amazing friendship via text. We got together and hit it off. He is truly one of the smartest marketers I've ever met, Smartest businessman. He is an incredible husband. He's a dear friend, He's a good human being, and I'm so glad we got to know each other. Yes, he's built. He built five companies in like record time, over $120 million, exited out of multiple companies. Now he's got a massive portfolio of companies that he's a part of that do over $200 million a year in revenue. He's on fire. He owns acquisition.com. you see him all over social media. I'm so glad to have my friend here. Alex Hermosi. What's up, man?

That was like the nicest intro. Thank you. I'll do my very best to live up to that.

It's true, man. And listen, the fun part, I wish we could share some of the texts. I liter being at the gym and I couldn't get back to it like a next set because I was still laughing so hard. So it's been. It's been a fun relationship. You know, call it the own your future podcast. You know why? Because Tony and I, Robins and I did a. A Challenge. About three years ago, we called the Own youn Future. And I was on a podcast, and someone said, why would you want to own your future? And my reply was, well, if you don't own your future, someone else is gonna.

Yeah.

And that hit me. And I watched everybody's comment was like, oh, oh, my God. Because you don't think about that. Your career could own you, your old beliefs could own you, your current income, because you're not stretching yourself to finally launch that business you were going to could be owning you. And I think at the end of the day, we all want to own our calendar. We want to own our decisions. So that's why I went that way. So we'll get into some fun stuff and we can go personal because we're friends. But I love that question. What does that mean to you? Like, what does it mean to Alex to own your future?

So, I mean, I think it means high agency. So, meaning, like, when we're kids, it becomes real. We learn what the world means through other people. And so, like, you're, you know, you. You have uke. And he's like, what does that mean? And what does that. And so you're literally telling him what things mean. And so, like, the first things we learn are only from the. The few people around us that tell us how to interpret the world. And then once we turn 16, 17, 18, 20, 23, all of a sudden we're like, I don't know if everything that every one of these people who told me what things mean were right.

Yeah.

And so we spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what everyone has told us meant and then make up that meaning for ourselves.

Wow. Such a. What a. That's an amazing. And true. Because the word that came to my hand, you're trying to decipher, is that my father's perspective or is that reality? And what is reality?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so that. So my. You know, my. My goal personally has been to dissect decisions and think. Like, is this a decision that I'm making because I believe this or because of what I want other people to think about me as a result of this decision? And we're social beings. We care about what other people think. And I don't think we're ever going to, like, get completely rid of that from us. I mean, you'd have to be, you know, Gandhi or whoever, you know, Buddha. Right. But at least if I can try and be aware of how much something might influence me, then at least gives me the wherewithal to say, okay, warning flags. This is a sensitive subject that your dad always wanted for you. Be extra careful around decisions that impact, that go in this direction. And so I can just take the extra pause of space and say, okay, is this really me or is this because I want him to think this about me. And like dad is really just a foil. It could be your brother, your sister, your spouse, your ex wife, you know what I mean? That rival or the competitor, whoever it is. The moment that I realized this in my life was I was 19 years old and at the time I was an angry 19 year old like some of us are and probably unrightfully so. But I really disliked both my parents really heavily. And I remember thinking to myself like, they messed me up. I have all these anger issues, like I hate everyone, I'm a lone wolf, whatever. And I remember catching myself blaming them and thinking to myself, that means that I give them all the power in my life. Like wherever I point the finger of blame is also where the power follows. It's like power follows blame. And so I was like, well, what am I going to do about it? Because maybe they did wrong. It doesn't really matter. It's only me who can, who can own my own future because otherwise they're going to own my future for the rest of my life. And then the thing that made it crack for me was the idea that the people that I hated the most owned me. That was the thing. So like, so it was like, so these people that I hated and blamed then flipping it from the blame to they own me, they have power over me. I was like, I never want them to have power over me. And then that was actually the first real crack I had in like the dam of trying to like make my own life and start. That was when I decided to not be pre med because that was what my dad wanted me to be. And like there are many steps on this, you know, this journey. But the first one of like just not being a doctor like him and being just saying like, I want to get into business because it's like I'm way more interested in this stuff. Like you can imagine. I was like shaking to try and tell my dad this. But yeah, it was like I blame them. They owned me. I don't want that.

Yeah, I want to dissect this a little bit and I can't wait to talk about some business things and things that I know people need in today's world. But this is more important because what I always, I love the term going upstream I know it's simple. It was a term. I heard Tony Robbins talked about the medical field, right? A doctor pulls into a medical office and there's a stream by, and there's someone drowned. And he goes in. You've heard this before. And he goes and saves. And another doctor pulls up. He's like, help me save this next person. Save this next person. And finally a doctor pulls up and looks, and he goes, come help us. And he drives away, and he stops. He goes, hey, how come you're not gonna help us? He's like, I'm just gonna drive upstream and see who's throwing these people in. Yeah, right. It's like, you're never gonna get them all. Let's just stop the bastard throwing people in the stream. And that stuck with me so much that everything. The reason I love this podcast about business, about marketing, but really, I want to go upstream because the human condition that so many people are watching and listening right now, they think it's the marketing thing or the sales thing or the invention they have to have, or maybe they didn't have the right employee. But really, when you go up to that next level, there are things sabotaging us today that were put in our lives by parents, by a teacher, by an experience, by a bad relationship. And if we don't solve that, then there's no way we can go downstream and clear up all the people. Right? So thank you for. For being vulnerable and sharing that. Because I would bet to say there's so many people watching today, listening today, that don't realize that someone else is owning their decisions based on the past. And I'd love to know, going deeper on what you shared is, how did you really. How did you make that? Like, what was the thing? 19 is young to be able to recognize that. I probably recognize that in my 30s, some people maybe never. And the question I'll say is, would you take any of it back? Because I think if you blame, like, if you blame your parents up to that to, like, hey, they didn't support me. They want to be a doctor, and if I'm not a doctor, I'm nobody. I'm a loser. I'm pathetic. You'll never make it. We can laugh about some of the things we've talked about in our lives, but, like, you're not going to make it. You're going to be a loser. You're blowing your life. Nothing will ever work. And then when it does work, you don't get the credit. They're like, well, you got lucky. It'll probably fail anyway, right? How do you get to a point to realize, sorry, I see you shaking. How do you get to the point where you go, wow, thank God they did that because it drove me to be stronger, faster, more innovative, more creative. And now you get to own your decisions.

I think it's an overtime process because, I mean, I certainly think when I was 19 years old, I was not there. It was the first crack. And the thing was just, like, I was so angry. And so the idea. And like, I define power as just like, influence over someone else's events, things, people, et cetera. And so, like, they were influencing my decisions, which means they had power over me. And it just sickened me to think that these people that I was so angry about, I'm not saying it was right or wrong, but, like, at the time that these people, I didn't want to give them that power. And so I even think about this now, sometimes even, like, big business decisions, et cetera. A lot of times we say, like, society tells us or society trains us, whatever. But if you really, like, listen to it, there's usually like two or three voices or maybe just one. And it's like, sometimes you're surprised. And so one of the exercises I do when I have these decisions where I'm like, I feel like I'm pulled in multiple directions. The thing I know I want to do and the thing that I have been trained myself to do, that's not the thing I want to do, is I just try and name the person who's stopping me from doing it. And so I remember there was, like, when I was selling one of the businesses, this was like the first massive deal that we were going to go through. I started playing these voices. Just one particular entrepreneur that I know, and I was like, he's going to think that this isn't enough money. Now, mind you, it was. It was a big exit, and it was totally made up in my mind. But I had to write down his name and say, like, will I let this person stop me from exiting this company? And when I saw it, it just seemed so small. And I was like, no, I'm not going to give him that kind of power over my life. I'm going to give. This guy is going to influence my decision. It's going to change the rest of my life because of a voice I have in my head that he doesn't even know I'm thinking about him.

And you know what? Before we go any further, it sounds so silly as you write it once you wrote it down. It was silly. But how strong are those voices? All of you listening, watching right now that says, oh, you're too young for this, you're too old for this. Right? All of it. You had someone that said, you don't sell that company unless it's 200 million and you're getting lots of zeros and you're like questioning it until you wrote it down and go, am I going to allow him? And I think that's a big takeaway today is if something is holding you back in your life and you think it's your own insecurities, of course it is. Or your own beliefs. But write down, I love that I'm going to do that next time is literally write down, am I not going to do this because of. And do you really want to give them that power?

And it's so interesting when we talk about insecurity because most insecurities belong to someone else. And so it's like, who owns this insecurity of mine and why did I inherit it? Right? Because if, if, if. Because insecurity comes from other people's judgments. So like you can't be insecure about something unless there's someone else making this judgment. Otherwise there would be nothing to be insecure about. And so naming who owns that insecurity, it takes it from this really amorphous thing to like, it's John. Really?

Yeah.

Wow. It is John. And sometimes it takes a couple. You're like, no, it's not my mom. No, it's not. You know, it's not my uncle. You know. You know what, it's that my colleague, he's, I work with him every day and I think that if he, if he knew I quit my job, he would think I was like, not cool. Or it's the guys I used to go to school with, if they know that I quit my job, they would see me as a loser like my senior year or a dreamer. Yeah. Like it's not going to work. Right. And they're, they have all these good jobs and like I'm going to quit my stable job to go to this thing. And I used to think like, there's going to be a short term time where they're all making more money than me and they can buy things that I can't.

So here's a quick question. If, if there's all of us have to make that type of decisions on the opposite side, like the main side is don't let people unqualified talk you out of what you want out of life. Your broke friend telling you how to fix your relationship or broke friend telling you how to do your business. Single friend on the relationship. We know that what helps fuel the confidence to keep going. Right. Because we all question ourselves. How many times have we both. You're an inch away from signing the deal.

Yeah.

Starting the new. You bought a company yesterday.

Yeah.

There's always those moments right before you stroke a check with lots of zeros or start a new company, start a new relationship. Say I do. Say I don't.

Yeah.

Right. This is enough. Or this is the beginning. All of those moments. I. I believe I'm going to digress here for a second. I believe. Pressure.

Yeah.

At least with me, when I'm under pressure, I can resort back to the man I used to be. Right. I think I'm. I'm growing. If I'm not climbing, I'm sliding, I'm growing emotionally, physically, like, spiritually. And then you get under pressure and sometimes you take a step back and you make a decision of the man that you were running away from or want to grow from. So if. If you can be bold enough to take that uncomfortable action, to say, no, I'm going to sell this company because it makes sense for me. I'm not giving that power to John. I'm not giving this power to my parents. What keeps you in the game so you can continue to make better and better decisions for you?

So is this. I want to make sure I understand the question. There's the. What makes me confident to make the next. To own my own decision rather than listen to someone else versus what keeps me going in terms of the bigger goal?

Yeah.

I think the first one.

Yeah.

So I'm a big believer, and this is a little bit contrarian, that proof is the best type of evidence for a trait. And so rather than say, like, I'm honest. I'm honest, I'm honest. But, like, you're a crook. Like, all the evidence points to the fact that you're a crook. Like, I think that when you say that, on some level, you don't believe you because you know that's not true.

Yeah.

And so I try and look at, okay, what experiences or things I've done in the past, can I transfer that are close enough to this new thing? So if I built a sales team at a weight loss company and then I really want to do this new gig that's at a chiropractor joint and it's also building a sales team, can I say that that skill is going to Transfer. I have high confidence that I'll be successful in this thing. That would make sense for me. If I had built six sales teams over my career, I'd probably be even more confident. Right? And so the thing is, like, if I'm listening to this, you're borrowing confidence.

From another experience in your life.

And so the, the problem is, what do you do when you're at zero, when you're like, I'm not confident. I haven't done anything good. Right. I've got no achievements to my name, et cetera. I think that you're delusional because it's like, if you were able, like, all you have to do is chunk down and think, okay, well, what did I, what did I do? Like, let's be real, what did I do today that was good? Well, I woke up. Okay, cool. I got out of bed. Okay, well, I showed up to work on time. Okay. So I'm punctual. You know what? I always show up to work on time. That's okay. I do do that. Right. And I respond to things pretty quick. Okay, I do. So I'm responsive. So it's. You chunk down until you're like, ok, what things can I say that I have proof that I'm good at? And then those become things that you can stack on top of one another. Because it's not delusional. Because let's say, let's say mom says you're not. You're blah, blah, blah, blah. But you're like, no, no, no, no, I hear you. But I have proof. So, like, I get. You have your opinion, I have facts. And so my goal in life has always been to stack as much proof as I possibly can to support that I am who I say I am.

Even if you have to embellish a little bit of that proof. Right? Like, even if you say, I know I only did it at this level.

Oh, yeah.

But that same thing could get compounded 10 times. It just. I didn't have the eyeballs yet or I didn't have the experience or the time. Or the time. Yeah, right. Yeah, I love that thought.

And so that was, that was, that's always been. My goal is like, can I, can I stack enough evidence to give enough proof that I am who I say I am?

And then so let me ask you, when you want to make a decision, if you stack enough proof, you look at the evidence and you say, I'm going to be pragmatic and say, I did it here, I'm going to do it here. Yeah. What Keeps you moving forward with that decision. When you make a decision. I'm asking you, when you make a decision, you just go, no matter what, do you burn the boats or you. One step at a time. This is proving itself. Because I just know one thing.

Yeah.

There's a middle ground between burning the boats and dipping your foot in. Yeah, Right. Take the island, burn the boats. Or let me just put my foot in the water and see there's a middle ground. But I see sometimes where people are, they don't realize. I know we're going off in a different direction, but I think this is really important. They don't realize. Deep down, they're waiting for it not to work. They're pretending they're moving forward, but they're actually looking for evidence of it not working. So they can say, see, Alex wasn't a great partner, or, Bob's not that into it, or, nobody, 50 years old, wants to lose weight. They don't care. Like, they don't realize. It's like when you're sick and you Google it and, like, I do have a brain tumor, right? You're not looking for. No, it's a headache. Take a Tylenol. Right. So how can we help people realize that? You can't go into. If you decide I'm going to be pragmatic because I have proof, I have past experience, I'm going to do it. Yes, you want to test, but you got to go in looking for the right outcome.

Yeah, it's a really tough question because, like, I see this even. And you know what? And this is everyone who's listening. It happens at every level. I talk to founders who are doing $100 million a year, and I'm like, well, have you tried this? And they're like, yeah, we tried that. I'm like, have you tried this? And they're like, oh, we tried that. Tried this. Oh, we tried that. And I'll name six other things. And I'm like, oh, okay, you're right. You're screwed. You're just never gonna succeed. And when I say it like that, they're like, well. And I'm like, well, which is it? And all of a sudden, they. Cause, like, some people like to be contrarian because of, like, that's their nature. They just want to disagree. They want to prove it wrong. They want to buy the course, attend the workshop, and then prove that they're a special snowflake. And I think you just look at. Like, you can look at yourself in the mirror and be like, you're Right. You are a special stuff. Like, you are never going to succeed. Now what? And I think on some level, if you get to that point, then it's like, well, you have nothing to lose. And I think in some ways, that makes you more dangerous than anyone.

Yeah.

And it's funny because, like, it's all about how you frame the position. Right. And I used to tell, because we had a big friend who was listening. We had a big gym licensing company, so we had thousands of locations, and people would try and come into the space and be like, well, how am I going to compete with you? You've got this big blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you don't realize the advantage you have because. And I'm going to wrap this up to the point. I was like, if you're. If I were you and I'm coming up against me, I'm going to say, you're never going to see Alex. Alex is never going to. Is never going to help you with your gym. Is never going to do X, Y and Z. You're just a number to him. He's got this massive thing to me. You're going to get me. It's going to be personalized. I'm going to be super responsive. I was like, that's your position. I was like, on the flip side, my position is going to say, I've been doing this for a decade. I've got more success stories than every single other person put together. And are you going to trust this kid in his mom's basement who has no track record compared to me? Both positions have advantages. And so right now, the thing is that if you're day one, you never get this back, but you get to be underestimated. There's no advantage to being overestimated unless you're weak.

Right.

But right now, no one will see you coming if you have nothing going for you. It's another way of saying that you have nothing to lose. And so it means that you have endless shots on goal. And so you should be the most prone to taking action because there's nothing holding you back. What do you have? Nothing. I love that it's literally just voices in your head from your mom who say that you're not going to win. And you say, you're right, mom. And then you keep doing it anyways.

Yeah. I love. In Ogmundino's book, I love the World's Greatest Salesman. It's one of my favorite books. And he talks about in one section, most people let their mindset control their actions. What if you let your actions determine your mindset? Do it when you don't feel like doing it, move forward anyway. And I think that's. That's the part I wanted to share today before we get into what's next, is how do you get the momentum when you're scared? It's the uncomfortable action. Like, and I would just say it's whatever it takes to get you to move forward. If it's saying, thank you for the telling me I'm not gonna make it, I'm an underdog, that means no one will see me coming. I must do it anyway. Like, whatever it takes for you to move forward, we must.

Yeah.

And I think that's why I love these conversations, because each thing will impact somebody. Says, today's enough. Today's the day where I'm not settling. Today's day. I will say yes. I will say no. I will move forward. One thing before we move forward, I want to ask you is, dude, you're in amazing shape. I worked out with you. It's really difficult to work out with you. You're so freaking ripped. You've sold your company. You're buying other companies. You decided to go on social media. Dude, it's been fun watching you. You skyrocketed to the top. You're all over the place, which is awesome. What's one thing no one would know that still makes you scared at night when no one's around? Because most people think when they see success that you've killed all the demons. There's no dragons left to slay. Yeah, but is there still something that goes, man, I could go broke or this could go wrong, or I'm not.

Good enough, or I think it has. It has it. Obviously, I think it shifts over time.

It does, I think.

And I think the answer, if you'd asked me a year ago, would have been different than it is right now. But the thing is that that keeps me up is not being good enough to accomplish what my dreams are now. So, like, my dreams have expanded because of the proof that I have now. So now it's like I'm setting goalposts that are bigger than I can really imagine. And my fear is getting to the end of my life and not having accomplished those. And then think, like, I guess I wasn't good enough to do that thing. And I think that, like. And I think I've had a little bit of time to be like, all right, is that really, you know? And I, you know, I play the mental game with myself, but I would Say on some level, that's still a thing that. That keeps me up.

Yeah. And the reason I ask you that is because I have similar fears. And no one would ever think that. And it doesn't mean it should stop you from moving forward. It doesn't stop you. You still get up every day. You still love what you do. You still move forward. You still make mistakes. You still have some fears. You still wake up some mornings go, what the hell am Right isn't enough. Is that when you sold your last company, you could have been done. You and Layla could be doing whatever you want. You went right back in investing the money and buying companies.

So what you just said about taking the action anyway. Right. I think that going back to what we were saying earlier about giving yourself that proof, that evidence, it's like, all you have to do is get the first piece of evidence. And so it's like, if you just take one action, then you can start labeling yourself as, like, I am somebody who takes action because I have this proof right here. And so it's just stacking. And then you stack two or three of those, and you're like, you know what? I'm on a streak. And then you're like, I am the type of person who does these things. And you said, the mindset preceding the action. Right. This is the point that I was trying to get to. If the actions lead to the mindset, then it means that the actions give you the evidence of the mindset you should have.

That's a really good point.

Right. And so that gives, like, the actions become your evidence. And so if you're like, well, I have no evidence, then it's like, then you can make evidence. And that's how. And guess what? That's how everyone else did it.

What do they say about entrepreneurs? You make shit up and make it real. Yeah, right. I mean, that's. That's really what we do. And we. And to fuel that is the evidence. You know, if. If anybody could see our. It's funny. It's kind of like we have fun alter egos sometimes when we text.

Oh, yeah.

The insecurities that come out. I'm going broke. I'm done. It's over. Can I borrow money? We had this joke about we help each other whenever we can when it comes to our businesses. Just simple stuff when we brainstorm. And I said, hey, if you sell your company for that much money, I want everything to the right of the decimal. And I still have the check. I think you sent me a check for 46 cents. It was awesome. I was hoping for 99 cents. But as we joke. There is truth in everything, right? We joke, oh, my God, you know, what if. What if the dollar collapses?

Yeah.

What if this country keeps. The media and politicians keep making us think we should hate each other, and we're so polarized that we're not focusing on the big prize. We're worried about the little things. When other countries are starving, exponentially growing and other companies starving. Like, there's. There's so many things that we're distracted with. And right now people have a lot of worries. Are we going into a recession? Could it be a depression? Could the dollar actually be replaced in 20 years, 50 years, two years?

Yeah.

I don't. Right. These. Some people are thinking. I don't even. That's. I don't care about that. And some people are worried every day about it. But there's so many things right now that are. Have been uncertain, especially since COVID happened three years ago. You know, it's like they're, they're. The, the rules of the game seem to be changing, and I think it's caused this level of. In uncertainty and fear that I. Again, I said earlier, if when you're under pressure, you kind of resort back. Sometimes when you're in your pressure, you freeze.

Yeah.

So I don't want to get into if the dollar is going to collapse and if we should invest in crypto or gold or real estate or companies or T bills that could go. We could, we could spend days on that. I know, but how do you get people. How would you suggest people get clarity to navigate through this? That's kind of the upstream question. It's a big question, but wherever I go now, it depends on where somebody is and what their economics are. But most questions people will first say is, Dean, what should I do with my cash? Or can I actually make cash right now? Or should I actually want dollars? Should I invest in India and China? But upstream, how do you get people to get out of that uncertainty mode so they can make clear decisions?

So I, I have a couple mental exercises that I actually go through for this. And so I try and reframe reality in a couple of ways. One of them is I try and play out the absolute hypothetical worst scenario, Right? And so the worst scenario is I die. Okay. Then I won't be worried about it because I'll be dead.

Right.

It won't affect me. Okay. So like, one degree less than that. It's like, okay, well, what if I go like I'm Reduced to that I have absolutely nothing. It's like, okay, well, real talk, there are homeless kitchens and there are, there are places that I could, that I could crash and eat and whatever, like, okay, so I probably won't starve. So actually probably won't die in the actual worst case scenario. And when you look at people for subjective well being in poorer countries, there's often people who are happier on average than us in the US and so I think I reframe it as like, well, what problem are we solving? And so if it's like, well, I'm worried about AI, is it going to take my job and will I lose all the money? It's like, well, you'll probably be just about as happy and unhappy as you are right now. Because all of those things presuppose a single assumption, which is that your circumstances dictate your mood or your happiness. And so if, and all you have to do is listen to anybody who's made lots of money, whatever, the thing is for you, they got the Grammy, they made the movie, whatever it is, right? They all get there and they're like, it didn't make me any happier, didn't change the thing. And so we ask these questions about what if all these circumstances change? But it has an underlying assumption that because the circumstances change, I'm going to become less happy. And that's what our fear comes from. But if we disconnect our circumstances, because if Viktor Frankl in the Holocaust. And I think about these examples because like, I try and think of hypothetical extremes or like the millions of people who've been slaves in general across countries, across time periods, they all somehow actually managed to have kids, survive, you know, like, and keep doing. And don't get me wrong, I'm saying it's horrible, but I use it as an example of how bad circumstances can be. And yet humans continue to survive. And so the problem mind, right, will always find new things to look at. Because it wants to keep you alive, right, because that's its objective, but it doesn't want to keep you happy. And so if we can just simply break the connection of the underlying assumption that whatever happens, whether it's the dollar or the yen or AI takes over the world, because I genuinely think, I'm like, well, if AI takes completely over everything, I'm like, then my 401k doesn't matter too much. So I worry about these things that in the hypothetical extreme that I'm also worried about wouldn't matter. And in my opinion, I'll probably be Just as happy or as unhappy as I am right now, or as I have evolved in my awareness, which will be disconnected from outside circumstance. And so that's.

That's what. But why I asked you because I know so many times that we've had conversations, you have mental models or a framework around certain thinking. Because that, that is so powerful, thinking about the worst case scenario. And if that actually did happen, would you be happier or, or less happy? And the fact of the matter is, I don't think it changes at all.

I'm going to give you one. So everybody who's listening to this right now, you remember when you were younger, you were poor and you had nothing, and guess what? You still probably think about that as the good old days.

Yeah. True story.

And so, like, why are we so afraid of going back to a scenario that in the future today we might be in the good old days?

Yeah.

And it's like, it's a weird mental frame.

And you know, the crazy part about it is if you're living in a future that could go wrong, you're preventing yourself in the present from being all you can be.

Yeah, totally.

Right. And if you live in the present saying, these might be the good old days, you will take more risk, you will have more courage to move forward. You will make bold, uncomfortable decisions in the moment rather than sitting on your hands hoping things don't go sideways.

One of my buddies, my closest friend, is a philosopher. I know that sounds ridiculous, but yeah, that's like pretty much what he does. And he gave me this frame called the frame of the veteran. And so imagine you lose all your money, right? So it's a terrible thing. Right? Actually, let's go, let's go, let's go. I'm gonna go micro really quickly and then we'll scale it up. So let's say you're in traffic, right? And you hate traffic. Traffic sucks. Okay, well, if you've, if you, if you're not in traffic normally and then you're in traffic, it's terrible. But if every time you got in the car from here until the day you die, there was always traffic, what would happen? You would just get used to it.

Yeah.

Right. And so you become a veteran. It's just something that, like, this is just how it always is. And so if you can, if your mind can mentally weather itself to get to that point, then it means that you can apply that same frame to this moment that's inconvenient. I had this, the shirt that I liked a lot, and the, the My cleaning person, like, messed it up. It sounds ridiculous. And I thought about this and I was like, well, if every time. And it just shrunk too much. That's all it was.

Yeah.

And I was like, well, if every time I washed a shirt, it always had this level of shrinking, I was like, would I really care? I was like, well, no, I guess not. I was like, okay, I'm done with it. And that was it. But like, I just remember that was the first time I ever used the frame of the veteran because he had just told me. And then I just got to apply it immediately. And so I just give it a shot if you're like really stressing about stuff.

So I, I love that framework. And I always think about. I heard Ed Mylett say this once. I always use imagine. I always thought of, Imagine meeting the, the person you could have been at your. At the end of your life. Ed Mylett, I think he said one time, he's like, imagine if God played you a video of the man or the woman you could have been if you would have been bold. And if, if you were at that moment of someone, you know, God has an iPhone, pulls it out and said, hey, Alex, if you weren't so afraid, if you didn't go against what your parents said, if you went and been a doctor, you know, okay, but this is who you would have been like, oh, my God. What would you wish? Yeah, let me go back and do it again. Yeah, wish granted. Right? If we can put ourselves in that moment.

Yeah.

We can give ourselves that wish of saying, no, no, this is not one of those things I want to regret at the end. Yeah. Right. All right, I'm going to, I'm going to switch completely here. Love this conversation. Sales, influence, impact, you know, persuasion, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. So many businesses, no matter if you're two employees, 200 2005, 5,000 a year to 50 million a year. Every company needs focus. Exponential growth, shifting evolution, innovation in their marketing and sales. But so many startups and people launching their business, not only they apprehensive, they could be apprehensive to sales. They could be. They. They were in a. I feel we are in a. In an error where sales is considered bad when it simultaneously it is the oxygen for every successful business that exists. I have fallen in love with selling because of impact and have converted to service in your life. Your evolution of sales, what has been the biggest lift? How have you fallen in love with sales? You're amazing at what you do. You provide an Incredible product in everything you do, what drives you and what could drive others to fall in love with sales through your lens.

So I see sales as helping the person you're speaking to realize that they are in power. And the three things, like if we, like, you know, the more you sell, the more you hear the same excuses, right? And so in a lot of ways, selling is the first conversation to helping someone make decisions to help themselves. And so there are three major buckets that, that people use to blame, right? We said earlier about the, where the finger blame goes, so does the power. And so the widest area of this is think about it like an onion. All right? This is the best analogy I can give. The outer layer is circumstances. So they're going to blame money, they're going to blame time, they're going to blame some particular aspect of the thing that they're buying that's not perfect for them, whatever it is, right? But that's the first layer. Underneath of that, they're going to blame other people. They're going to blame their partner, their spouse, their kids, their wife, their co worker or whatever, right? That's the second layer. And then the final layer is that you have somebody. So if I make you realize, like, okay, well the difference between self made millionaires and you is that you both started at zero. So what's the difference? They decided to do something, right? All of a sudden, like, you can start breaking down each of these beliefs. And with other people it's like, I'll give you a common one. It's like, my spouse, right? My spouse won't let me do this. It's like, okay, well let's play it out. Well, if every time you want to make these decisions that are going to help yourself, and every time your spouse says no, three years from now, I was like, how are you guys going to feel? So like you probably resent your spouse because they've held you back this whole time. And so what happens is you're actually giving your spouse the responsibility over your success in life.

That's not fair to them. It's not fair to them.

Not fair to your marriage. I was like, so you're literally, you're planting the seeds right now for a resentment tree to grow later. And so what I think you want is you're thinking you need permission, but you actually need a support.

I love those two layers. And what's the center piece?

The center layer is avoidance. So now you're talking to a person in power. So it's like, okay, it's not the time, it's not the money. It's, you know, not someone else. Yeah. It's not other people. What they try and then do is like, ah, I'm gonna think about it. I'm not sure. Right. It's avoidance. Now we could get into like, is it shame? Is it fear? Is it self doubt? Like, whatever it is. All I know is that they avoid the decision that I can observe. They avoid the decision. They just try. And so at this point we then at least if I'm trying to sell something to someone or trying to help someone make a decision, I help them make the decision, which is, well, what would it take in order for you to feel good about this? And at what point is it unreasonable for you to not believe that this would work? And so this is a simple. Like for example, if I had. Because I sold a zillion gym memberships back in my day, if I said, if someone's like, well, I'm just not. I need to think about it. I'm like, cool, well, what are the main things that you use to make the decision? And the reality is that you think you need that, right? You think you need time. What would you really want is information. And so we conflate time for information. So if I have more time, I must get more information. I was like, but I'm your only source of information. I was like, so what's your main concern?

And let me give you that information, right?

And sometimes you just ask like. And like, there's a lot of different ways of asking the same thing. But just saying like, what's the thing you don't want to have happen? If you do this, what are you afraid of having happen?

Wow, so good.

And a lot of times it just pierces right to the point where like, I just don't want to buy another thing, have my husband yell at me, right? And you're like, real piece, right? And then you're like, I got it, I feel you. I was like, so what if we do this? And like, and then you. And then you can now you actually.

Adjust and have a real conversation.

Exactly. Now we're not smoke screening. We're actually getting to the real stuff. And the thing is, is that if you have like, I love this, this quote. I don't remember I heard it, but it was, it was closers ask hard questions. Right. And so most people hate sales because they were not sold. Well, like, true sales doesn't feel like sales. It just feels like making an informed decision with somebody who is an expert, who helps you make the best decision for you.

Yeah.

And you know what? And this is what I. What I train all the sales people to do. I was like, my goal is that you help the person that you're speaking to decide. Not that they buy.

Make a decision. Even if the decision is absolutely. No, they made a decision.

Yes. And they walk out. Right. Not the miserable maybe, Right. Miserable maybe, right.

Write that one down.

Right. Another year of almost.

Right?

Who wants that? And so it's like, we, like. And this is. Again, I've trained a lot of sales teams and whatnot. And so I'm like, you have to train for no, you have to expect no. And this really comes with anything in life is that, like, if. If every person who just said, hey, you want to buy the thing? And they said yes, I was like, then you're not required. We could just put up a page and people would just go on Amazon and click buy. Right? And so we have to expect that the people who are coming to us and I, you know, I trained a lot of weight loss sales teams. Um, if they could do it on their own, they wouldn't be here.

Right.

So we have to expect that they're going to have some demons in the closet that we got to help. We. We, like, think about it like this. You're side by side with them. You've got a sword and they don't. And they're like, the monsters are in here. And you're like, all right, let's open the doors. Right? And like, that's the role of the salesman is like, you can kill these demons in front of them. Be like, it's not your husband's responsibility. Right. It's not the fact that you don't have time, because I can promise you there's someone who's had it worse, who's done better.

Yeah.

Right. And so you can. You can have those real conversations. And so for me, that's where I get passionate about it. Because I think.

Because real sales in real sales is service. I mean, you're serving that person because if it's a gym membership, they've been putting off getting themselves in shape forever. And if you quit before you get to the root cause, the peeling back the onion to get to the avoidance to the avoidance leads to the root cause of why they're not going to the gym. If, as a salesperson, you got to solve that and they were in the gym, then you did good for the world by selling. And in every business that I've been a part of, every business I Consult with. If that sales as service mindset doesn't exist. If it's just what is the average ticket? How much are we getting? What is that lead worth? I know that company's not going to make it, but when you. And you know this because you're buying companies faster than anyone I've ever seen. When you go into a place where they're heart centered and service oriented and they have an amazing sales floor to get people to take the action, it changes their lives. That's a company I put money in.

So I'm gonna give you guys like the secret, like the real, like the key ingredient to making this work. And it's not, it's not, it's not like some words. It's not. Because the thing is, is that humans are exceptionally good at smelling out when someone's lying. We've thousands of years of evolution to see if someone's gonna trick you and then, you know, steal your food or whatever it is. Like, we're actually really good. And intuitively, like you don't know if someone's lying, but you're like, I just feel off about it. Right. And so there's one thing that I know well, there's two things that can fix it. One is years and years of training, of trying to fix your tonality, pausing at the right time, speaking fast. If I really want to get someone really excited or slowing down so that you really pay attention to what I'm saying right now. Right? Like you can shift how you're feeling. Like, pros can do that because they've trained for it. But if you're a beginner, there's one thing that's even more powerful than that, which is just, you just believe in it. And so here's my example for you. Have you ever bought something that you were like, this is amazing, right? And when you go to your aunt, you're like, you gotta try these shoes on. They're so. Or like, I got this new thing that covers. Yeah. And the thing is the way you talk about it, that's what gives you conviction. And I'll ask a question that might, you know, trigger some people. But if you've ever met somebody who found a new religion, right? And they're like on fire about the religion, if they say it enough, sometimes the person who believes more, you're like, maybe I'm wrong about this. Depending on how convicted they are. And so the thing that will fix your tone will fix the things that you will say is actually believing in the product. And so we see this with sales teams. And I can tell you I can fix a sales team rather than training them on drilling obstacle overcomes and things like that, by simply saying what's happened in the last seven days, 14 days, 30 days, that made you believe in this lesson and solving for that. And sometimes there's a legitimate problem with a product or a service and it's like, we're on it, and then we start giving them updates every day of the things that we're doing to solve the problem that they brought up. Right. So it's like we're just fixing the act. Like we're getting to the heart of it.

So you can fall in love with what you're selling.

Right. Because if you don't believe in it, you know what? You shouldn't sell it. That's the real, like, if you don't believe in it, you shouldn't sell it. And the problem is so many people sell things they don't believe in to. To make a paycheck. And that's why sales get a bad name. Exactly.

Yeah. When people. It's funny. I. I love. I love. I love listening. I love being a student. And I love hearing this when people say to me, how did you guys do the biggest launch? How are you so good at sales? What I always say is, because I love what I do so much that I feel bad if they don't get it. Yeah. And. And people are always looking. People say, give me the secret to sell. Like just what you said. Is it the slowdown? Is it the speed up?

Yeah.

I've never studied any of that. I've just fallen in love, you know. Again, back to Ogmundino's book, the World's Greatest Salesman is second. The most important one is, I will meet this day with love. And he said, they might not like my clothes, they might not even like my product. They might not like my voice, my complexion. But if I'm in my head saying, I love you, yeah, I know it sounds a little hokey, but if they're saying I love you, there's no way they could say no to me. Because if you meet this day with love, if you don't just love your product, don't just love the. The success of your company, you actually love the person you're serving.

Yeah.

You wouldn't sell them something that sucks, but you also wouldn't do them the disservice of them not having it. Right. If you. If you fall in love with a movie, you want everybody you love to go see it. You fall in Love with going vegan, you are praising from the roof. My arthritis went away. I feel better. Go vegan, right? When you love a product or a service or the company you're launching or the coaching program you have, you're not seeing selling. You're feeling bad by not persuading someone to take that action. And when I see that passion in someone or a company, I know where they're going.

The top. The number one salesman for like the last five years at my old company, you could listen to his sales calls and he was unbelievably persistent, but it wasn't in a pushy or coercive way. I would watch these sales calls and some, you know, someone would be on like their sixth. No. And he would just, he would take his glasses off and he's. Rub his face and he's like, pete, I'm not giving up on you, man. He's like, you said that you're struggling to pay your mortgage right now. And like, I know because I have all of this proof behind me that, like, there's something that's stopping you emotionally from doing this. Like, help, like, let's work on this together. Let's figure this out.

Decision.

Right? Exactly. And so the thing is, is it what like I love saying this is that it's not. Sales is a dance, not a fight. Right. You're just, you're just working with the person. And the thing is, I. If you're ever selling a physical environment, you always want to be on the same side of the table because it really signals what the relationship should be, which is, we're on the same side of the table here. I'm trying to help you make a good decision. And you know what, and this is the thing that. About having integrity as a salesperson is that if you find out while you're talking to them that it's not a good fit, then you will be able to. You will sell so much better if you let a couple people go that you know it's not going to be a good fit for, because then you know why you're doing it. Because then you have more conviction in yourself that it's not that I just sell every person with a heartbeat. I sell the people that I think really need this thing. And some people might not need this thing because they have a different demon they got to slay. You know what? Then make them a recommendation because you do care about them rather than the sale.

Yeah.

So conviction over commission, like, that's the.

And that's at the end of the Day. It boils back to that love thing, that service thing, that caring thing. And it is the unfair advantage to sales. Like I love. I love hearing your perspective. You're so good at sales. Alex, I've watched train it. I've watched you train it. I watch you talk about it, but it always starts with that caring. And I've never met anybody consistent. Listen, I can see someone who's got a business doing a million a year. And when I watch them, and I'm not saying a million years bad, please, I'm not a millionaire is amazing. But they want to go to 10. And I could tell the way they sell. I could tell what they've rehearsed. They don't believe in what they're doing. And in my head, I know you will never pass that. There's no way beyond where you are unless you change how you feel.

If you sell someone and then think, gotcha.

Yeah, it's not.

You're not. Yeah, you're not going to make. Because what happens is, one, you'll foster a whole army of people who hate you. But secondly, like that, like, if you have any ethics at all, which most people do, I actually think a lot more people have ethics than other people give credit for. It starts to eat at you. And Dean and I have been doing this business game enough to see we've seen people bottle rocket their way up and then fizzle. Bottle rocket up and then fizzle. They create another new product every. Every 12 weeks.

Because if it's crypto, they got a crypto program. If it's AI, there's a new AI program. Rather than going deep, falling in love and actually making transformation. So if you're in business, starting a business, thinking about business, even in your career.

Yeah.

What if tomorrow, if we challenge you to say, how can I fall in love with this business? How can I fall in love with my product? And if you don't love it, here's what I'll tell you. Just go fix it. Go fix it.

I love this. So I'm going to. I'm going to go real deep on this real quick. So it's usually like, I look at a lot of businesses every day. It's usually the biggest, most obvious thing is that, like, the sandwich shop isn't doing well. They're like, it's our marketing. It's the location. I was like, your sandwiches just aren't that good. It's all it is. They're just not. They're just not good enough. That's all. Like, they're like, we just need more customers. I was like, if you serve the customers you had well enough, you wouldn't have this conversation with me. You'd already have a line out the door every day at lunch when you have the Sam.

I mean, we're using a sandwich as example. When you have a killer sandwich, what do you do? You post it.

You.

Nobody even wants to see a post about food. Like, please, why? Right. But you do compared to good. And you and I both know some companies. We talked about one earlier that's a really good marketer.

Yeah.

But the company's kind of like a Cullender that you put spaghetti in.

Yeah.

They market so good, but they keep falling through the holes because their product's not amazing.

Yeah. And this is. This is at least my hack for getting conviction.

Okay.

Is so, like, I. My next book's coming out. I spent 2000 hours writing it.

Wow.

And my editor spent 1500 hours. So it's 3500 hours of time went into this thing. And I'm not saying that for the book, but I'm saying my understanding of the level of effort that is required to make something that is world class or excellent has continued to move up my bar and my expectation of self. And so, like, the guy who has the sandwich shop, I sometimes I sit down at places, I'm like, how did someone think, this is my life's work and they made this sandwich? I'm like, if I were going to open a sandwich up, I'd spend a year trying every sandwich I possibly could and thinking, like, how can I make. I would go to the best. I would drive to the best sandwich shops and think, like, okay, how do they set up their menu? What are the few items that they have? Like, how do they source their ingredients? Like, it's doing the actual work. Because the thing is, is that when you do that work, and I'm about to invest in a company that does no strips, it's kind of exciting because.

I've like, you've had no strips on my whole life.

Yeah, I know. And I was like. And I was telling this guy, the creator, and I was like, this is what we need to look at in terms of how long the residue stays on your nose. He's like. And I was like, how much coverage it has, how long it sticks? I was like, I think the plastics used to be firmer. And I'm like, naming all these things. He's like, no one has ever broken down our product with all this detail. And the thing is, is that once you Fix every single one of those things. You make sure it's toasted for exactly 17 seconds and you make sure it gets flipped at this way in this time. Why? Because you did it at 30, you did it at 5 and you found out that 17 was perfect. When you go to talk about the sandwich, you'll have the conviction.

That's what I was going to say is. And, and people don't realize they're saying, well, I have a good product, but it doesn't sell. Is that true?

Yeah.

Because when you know that product is the best, the conviction goes through the roof. Sales go through the roof. What a. What a. I'm so glad I asked you that question about sales today because. No, because listen, you see more companies than me. I'm at a place right now, I don't have time to consult. I don't have time. I invest in about a company a month, but smaller. I don't take them over, I just invest them. But we have so much opportunity coming our way and I see the companies that are stuck, especially for years when they asked me to consult on sales or marketing. Yeah, it's because they don't have conviction. They, it's such a great analogy. I'm going to think about this for the rest of my life. They're selling a crappy sandwich and trying to overlook, trying to fix it with better marketing. The magical money machine. Better opt in funnels, better upsell process. Like no, just go fix the sandwich.

Right. And that's the work that has to be confronted and that's the work that most like. Because if you got into the sandwich business because you wanted to make money, then that's why you're not passionate about like I can talk about nose strips all day because I've, I've had two nose surgeries. Like I just breathe bad and so I know all the different things. I tried every single brand and I've done them all for 30, 40, 50, whatever days. And I can tell you all the differences about them because it's, I'm passionate. You can see how I'm talking about it. Like I'm passionate about it, which is ridiculous. But like, but if you have that for the product or service that you're getting into, you'll know the details.

It's why mastermind.com with Tony and I, yeah, we've been in the self education for so long. It changed our lives. It made us better humans. It allows us to take care of our family. We get to feed, you know, between him and him way more than Me, but hundreds of millions of people, like, we get to do this cool stuff. So when I talk, talk about selling what you know or creating an information product or I'm not. It's my life. I. I would, I'd be fixing cars if that didn't come into my life. So it's not. If my conviction is an 11 out of 10. Yeah.

I'm going to give you this line for everybody who's listening to this. So conviction is the, like, if you've gotten anything from what Dean and I were just talking about is that conviction is the number one secret ingredient to sales is that you actually have to believe. And the thing is, is the first person you always have to sell is yourself. And. And most people actually aren't sold, number one. Number two is that conviction itself is not binary. It's not do you believe or do you not believe? It's how much do you believe? How deep do you believe? Right.

Yeah.

And so you can look at a sales team and I can say like, he's a 2 out of 10. He's a 4 out of 10. If I were to just judge them based on how much they believe in the product, that would map significantly more to what their closing percentage was more than anything else.

Wow.

But the cool thing is, is that because conviction is measurable and it is changeable, it's also something that you can work on and you can outwork your self doubt. So if you're not, like, if I didn't think the book was good that I would work on the book until I thought it was good and then my doubt would go away because I have evidence.

Wow.

That I've done this thing to make it exceptional. And so if someone then says, I think your book shit. I would just say like, well, here's all the evidence of all the things that I did. Like, I rewrote circling back all the.

Way to what we talked about in the beginning.

100%.

And so I want to tell your first book, it was pure fire. I have recommended that book.

Thank you.

More than any other book, especially when it comes to marketing and sales. What's the name of your new book coming out? Can you share it or not?

No. No, I can. 100 million dollar leads.

100 million dollar leads.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's. When does that come out?

July.

July. So make sure you put that in your calendar. How can people follow you? We're not done yet, but I got a couple more things. But I just want people to be able to follow you.

I mean, if you're on the podcast. I have a podcast called the Game Alex Hermosa. You can just type my name in, but pretty much on every social media platform. So Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube.

If you don't have his first book, hundred million dollar offers.

Yeah, it's on Amazon.

It's on Amazon. Go get it and be on the lookout. Okay.

And so, you know, it's. We made it as cheap as Amazon will let me make it and make it a book still. So if you, if you're strapped for cash, it's 99 cents for the Kindle. Like, it's just, I just wanted as many people to have it as possible.

Well, and a lot of people got it. So nice work. No, it is, it is my go to. When somebody asks me questions, I'm like, go get that book. We've in the last four or five podcasts, people have asked me a question. A lot of times in life, same as you. People are always like, how did you do this? How did you do that? So I know you said earlier you got one for me.

What pain do you cherish?

Ooh, I knew you'd get a good one. I knew that would be good. What pain do I cherish? Cherish. I know the answer, though, credibly. I know the answer is. So I'm going to make it light for a second. So Alex and I are the co founders of the DLB Club, Daddy's little boy. We both had a time in our lives when we wanted to go for our own thing that our dads weren't so supportive. I won't go deep on it. And we have some similar life stories of that'll never work. You'll. It'll. You know. So there was one day, Alex, I don't even know how it started, but I, I said to you, I said, I called you daddy's little boy or something. And we just, we laughed so hard. I think I dropped my phone.

Yeah.

But if we take the funny part out of joking about the Daddy's Little Boy club. That sounded weird even putting words together. But when I was, when I was about 12 years old, my, my father was the youngest of 12. I'm gonna take just two minutes to give you context to this question. When I was, my dad was the youngest of 12, was physically abused. He was sexually abused. Come from an old school Italian family. So he did not get help. He just suffered through it. And my dad had so much resentment for his own father who knocked his teeth out that he, he was confrontational with everybody and couldn't control. Never physically beat me, but I had a bleeding ulcer at 11 years old. I threw up blood at 11 because my dad would fight with everyone. If we went to a restaurant and the waiter was rude, five minutes later, my dad would be on the floor punching a guy in the face. Like a flag. Guy doesn't hold the flag fast enough. My dad's on the side of the road fighting a construction guy. Like, my dad hit a guy with a bat in front of me when I was like. And I hate confrontations. I don't watch fights. I don't watch extreme fight. I watch none of it because I still don't like it. Long story short, when I was 2012, my mom got remarried to a guy who was amazing. His name was Lenny Rizzo. It was her high school sweetheart. She married this guy. He was the most amazing stepdad. Had stepbrother, stepsisters, got a mongoose BMX bike that we couldn't afford. Before that, I lived in a cul de sac. It was like I went from the trailer park to. Right. And my dad couldn't handle it. And there was one day, my dad. My stepdad, My dad was screaming at me, yelling at me. I was shaking. And I could talk about this stuff. Now my dad's 87, still alive, and I talk about this in front of him. He knows, and. And I know he's got the. He's got a pound of regret. Thousand pounds of regret. But anyway, my stepdad says to my dad, he's in Florida. We're in upstate New York. He says, hey, why don't you calm down? You don't know what this is doing to your son. You can't see your son until you calm down. My dad got in the car, drove 14 hours straight to our house with a bat. Knocked windows out of cars. Yeah, we got so scared. I know it's a long story, but I want to share this with you because most people don't understand. We all have our shit. So we get in a motorhome, and we hide from my dad for a month. We're going from campground to campground, and we can't go home. We're afraid, right? So finally, I get my older sister, we walk downtown. This is how long ago it was. I bring a quarter, go to a pay phone. I call my dad. He picks up the phone. Where the hell are you? Where? Tell me where you are right now. And like, dad, this got to stop. And like, you know, sometimes you got to mature up. I was, man, manning up at 12 or 11, whatever it was. And I said, how will this stop? God, I can't take it anymore. And I was afraid for my mom. I thought he was going to kill her. Like, I didn't know. I don't think he would have, but I was afraid he threatened he was going to kill her. I thought he was going to. Yeah, I know this is getting deep, but I want to, I want to answer this question. And I said, he said, move in with me. I'll leave her alone for the rest of her life. I walked back, said, mom moving in with Daddy. She's like, are you insane? No, I said, I am. You can't stop me. I called him up, he's picking me up. I walked back down to that paved booth. My father picked me up. I moved in with my dad. I moved in with my dad. And when I got there, he didn't have heat in his house because he couldn't afford it. And he had an electric heater plugged in. And at night he was sleeping in the bathroom because a little electric heater could heat the bathroom. Slept in the bathroom for six months with my dad. Never told my mom, said it was fine. And my dad, literally. I realize now that I'm older, bipolar, whatever you want to call it, a little bit of schizophrenia would be the greatest man in the world. Let me drive to school at 15 years old. Taught me how to hunt fish, do all kinds of cool things. And also the guy that gave me a bleeding ulcer. Long story short, the pain of when my dad lost it was so bad I would shake and be fearful. And I thought it was the worst thing in the world. But over time, by the time I was 14 or 15, I could read my dad's mood, I could feel his emotions. And I knew how to treat him in advance so I could keep him out of crazy Paul, his name is Paul. And be more of the dad that I could love. And at the time I thought, what a burden for a kid my age. I have to deal with. I can't tell my mom, can't tell my sister, because it'll cause. And I was afraid if I told him, he would kill my mom. Like that's how serious it was for a 12 year old, a 14 year old. Now I look back, that was the greatest gift in the world God gave me. I feel I can go in front of an audience of 30,000 or next week I'll be in front of an audience of a half a million. I can go in front of half a million people and I Think I can feel what they need. And it's because I had to feel what my dad need. I had to do it through empathy and compassion. It wasn't just a normal father son relationship. And I think I get to sell the way I sell. I get to care the way I care. I get to build. I built 13 different companies. I get to do all that because of that shit I went through. So it took me a long time to get there. And that was a long answer, but hopefully that helps somebody today.

It was a real answer.

Yeah. So, man, I appreciate you so much. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for all you do for the world. The last couple podcasts as well. I'm just getting in the groove of this and I thank God for all your listeners. Thank you for sharing. Go listen to the last three. You got great ones. Matthew McConaughey was amazing. Trent Shelton was amazing. There's so many good ones. Go listen the last three. Make sure you share it with a friend. We'd love to get this out there. We do these podcasts for free for you. If you love it, share it with somebody. But lastly, I'd love to ask if there's someone in your life you'd like to thank, whether it was something they did wrong that inspired you or somebody that just is the gas to your engine or the wind behind your sail, who would you like to thank?

I think it's a Layla.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's Layla for sure.

Yeah.

I mean, I mean, it's just. It's honestly, of all the things that we. That, you know, we. I already think this way, like, we have accomplished because it's been, you know, she and I, even though I had businesses before her, like, I think. I think our marriage is rarer than our business success in terms of, like, percentage of people who, you know, do anything. And so I'm very grateful for that because for the women who are listening or the guys, actually, everyone. I had a decent amount of success when she and I met. And pretty much within like three or four months after we met, she went all in on me. And then I lost everything. And I didn't just lose everything once. I actually lost everything twice. And it's a story. We'll tell it another time. But at the absolute rock bottom of that whole period of time, I actually told her I thought she should leave me. I was like, I. Because, you know, I'm self aware enough. I was like, listen, there are better guys out there who will treat you like, you know, I care. I respect her I cared about it. Like, we're cool. Like if you leave, like, I'm good. Like we're. I respect you. And I. And I was trying to sell her on leaving me and she grabbed my chin and she pulled it towards me and she was like, I would sleep with you under a bridge if it came to that. And like, I think that kind of conviction, like we talk about conviction, right? To go full circle, is that in some ways, like, she sold me on me. And so she was like, I guess that was her, you know, burning the boats. Mind you, I'm sleeping at her parents house, people. I'm not. We're not married yet. I'm just the guy she met on the Internet who lost everything and now we're crashing at her parents house for a little bit. Like, real winner. And that's the moment where she's like, I'll sleep with you under bridge if it comes to that. And I think that, that, I think.

Every guy understands the power of that. I have that in my relationship and I feel beyond blessed. I'd answer the same way, but I get to see that in you. It's not a. You guys don't have an Instagram relationship. It's. No, it's a. It's an amazing connection. And I knew you'd say that. You led me on. No.

Yeah, no, she's. So that's to Layla because she's.

And Layla, if you're listening, you are awesome. Alex, thank you so much, man. Appreciate you coming in today to be here in person. And thank you again for watching the Own your future podcast again. If you love it, listen to the last three. Share it and we have a newsletter@deansnewsletter.com See you next time.