The #1 Thing That DESTROYS SUCCESS & Why Mindset Is EVERYTHING | Dean Graziosi
Transcript of a conversational interview (Dean Graziosi with Andy Frisella) about mindset, success, and practical habits. Graziosi argues people should focus on strengths not weaknesses, model successful people, and change limiting stories learned from family/school; he shares personal poverty-to-success anecdotes and concrete recommendations (model others, outsource weaknesses, surround yourself with successful peers).
Chapters
The biggest lie we've ever been told in the history of the world is to work on your weaknesses. What I thought in my teens and my 20s is the only way I could figure shit out is through my own trial and error. And that's like, so 1990.
Right.
That's the stupidest way to learn in.
The history of the world.
Learn from else's mistakes. You get to a point where people either either you are you got lucky or you're an asshole. So if you try and fail, it's like, I knew Andy was gonna fail anyway. And then if you tried something and it worked like, ah, lucky bastard.
Yeah.
There's no in between.
Exactly. You know, you grew up in a poor family where your par divorced and you're basically raised by your grandma.
Yep.
Talk a little bit about that upcoming and what you learned coming from that background.
You know, first of all, because people.
Probably look at you, dude, and you know when they look at wealthy people, because you're a very wealthy guy now, people look at wealthy people and they always assume that the end product was that, you know, like, you grew up that way or you had rich parents or you had an advantage. And I know that's not true because I didn't have that. Yeah. But I'd like to hear your take on that.
Yeah, I think that's. I think that's one of the biggest myths again today. I just. I hope we can say, sir, in this time, I want to give as many nuggets as you can. And what I always say is, anybody, when you're listening right now or watching right now, it's like, take what serves you and throw the rest away. A lot of times we'll go to an event and there's so much wisdom and knowledge coming at you. You're like overwhelmed. But there's going to be two or three things that one of us is going to stay today that will make an impact on your life. It'll course correct your life if you just take one or two and freaking implement it in your life rather than just being inspired. So I'll say that to everybody, but I think one of the biggest things I learned along the journey is that there's no one magic key to success. Like even, even stuff the magic money machines online. Like, there's no one simple thing. But it's not as hard as people think because there's not a lot of competition at the top.
Right. The competition is the fiercest at the bottom. There's the most people.
When people say, you know, like, I'll teach my kids that they're in. They're in both in sports that practice and hard work pays off. You fucking got to work. Right. But not practicing the wrong thing.
That's right.
Get the knowledge from somebody like you who's run a successful business. Take off. Start off where you're leaving off and I think so backing up. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to share like an infomercial story, but I lived with my mom. They split up, and they were married nine times between them. I moved 20 times. There was a year I lived in a bathroom with my dad. We literally didn't have lunch money. I'd go to school, tell my friends I wasn't hungry. Right. But those days, that was just part of my journey. And when you start realizing Tony's got a great line for this, that what if life happens for us, not to us. What if that was my destiny? Like, I wouldn't have been a fucking hustler if I had.
I believe that.
Right. Not that. I have friends that had great childhoods and they're badasses. So you don't have to come from a bad childhood. I just happened to come that way, and it gave me momentum because I hated watching my parents struggle. I hated that everything was worried about money. I hated where they thought money was evil because they didn't have it. So many people listening right now have myths in their core about money, thinking that only the rich get richer. It takes money. Or people get luckier. You have to invent fucking Facebook. You don't.
Right.
And the only thing I realized is that the more I didn't listen to what the norm was, the more I modeled people that were actually successful, not the ones who talked about it. Right. I didn't have access to the Internet when I was a kid. Didn't exist. Right. So I had a model, people that were successful. And that's where I picked up habits of people that were happier than my parents, had more money than my parents, they did more fun things than my parents. And then I just literally started adopting those habits in my life.
Who was the first person that you. You noticed? Like maybe as a big, big time name or maybe somebody local?
No.
I mean, when I was probably in my 30s, Tony Robbins made a huge impact. When I was a kid, it was the. The people in my town who had money. Richard Noto. He's an older guy, 65. I took a liking to him, became friends, and I just saw how he thought. I saw how he worked. I saw his focus. I saw that he never talked bad about one single person ever. He didn't. He didn't. He wasn't envious of other people's success. He'd admire other people's success. All of a sudden you have these, you know, something goes wrong. He didn't throw his hands up. He'd figure out a sol. Things that sometimes seem simple are really the foundation of why you do so well.
You know what's so funny, dude? You say that is. I don't know any success, Any truly successful person that doesn't celebrate other successful people's success, do it.
Before I knew you, one of my team members, Jeremy, who you've been talking to, he said, you got to check out this guy Andy. Dude, I was celebrating what you do. I mean, probably a year ago, I never. I didn't know I was going to meet you. Didn't know. I just. I loved it. I saw what you were doing.
But people think people. But it's against what people perceive it to be, right? They think that, like, the way you got ahead was by, you know, killing everybody and this and that. But the funny thing is, is, like, when you get to where people. When you get to a certain level, all those people, they want you to win, and you want them to win because everybody wins together, and you learn from everybody. It's. It's really cool because I feel like, you know, when you're in that struggle, period, right? And you're. I don't want to say the bottom, but, like, you're in the beginning, maybe a better word. You know, everybody's trying to cut each other's throat, and nobody wants to share information, and nobody wants to tell anybody anything. And it's funny, because when you get.
Collective wisdom is the fastest way to grow.
Yeah. Dude. When you get. When you get to that level where, you know, you're making seven figures or eight figures and you're. You're around people like that, dude, everybody's willing to help each other. Like, it's super unselfish behavior.
Yeah. And you know what? I want to share because, listen, if you're on. If you're listening right now and you're below 25 or you're 30, a lot of times, if you're 40, if you're 70, if you're 90, a lot of times people think, well, he's not where I am. Like, he doesn't know what I'm dealing with, Right? And they'll say that probably listening to you. And the thing I want to share is I lived in a fucking Bathroom. I have dyslexia. I was in special reading till 11th grade. I never went to college. And all I thought is, someday I'm going to be a mechanic. If I can make 50 grand a year, I'll be the richest guy. I mean, that's what I thought as a kid. I was embarrassed to. If it was time to read in front of the class, I'd skip school because I couldn't read that good, right? So the only reason I share that is not to be like poor me. What I share that for is no matter where you are, if you're listening right now, I've been there. I went to school without money. I used credit cards up to 50 grand. When I was in my teens trying to make a business going, it fucking failed. And Now I had 50,000 in credit, college education before you get started, right? And then I started a business on. I had a collision shop and an auto sales. And then I started buying apartments with no money down. And there was times I went completely broke. I was living on nothing. But then I got to 100 grand a year. So I know what it's like to go from zero to a hundred. I know it's like to go to a hundred to, you know, 100 grand a year, to my company doing a million a year and then 10 million a year. And my company's broke 220 million a couple years ago in sales in one year. So I've been on every level, so. And I know your journey as well. So when you listen, don't listen from the perspective like, oh, you're already rich. You don't understand how I feel. We know how you feel. We've had the sleepless nights. I've gone months without fucking sleeping. I've been up early. I almost lost everything I had a couple times. So I know the feeling. And the more challenges and the more successes you have, it becomes a gut feeling, which is really just wisdom. When people talk about wisdom, they give crafty names. You've been shocked enough.
You had your ass beat enough.
You had your ass beat enough that you know, you know what road not to go down. When you go that road, it hurts, right? So you know what you're.
You feel it before it even starts to happen.
Eventually, yeah, you're sick to your stomach. This ain't going right.
It's funny too, because like, dude, I've. And I know this is true because you just said it like, I have been over so many times that literally now, like when I meet somebody in the first minute, I Meet them. I can already tell. I can feel it.
It's your gut. No, it's your gut.
I'm like, I stay away from this. And it always works. Because what happens is because I'm already in my mind, I'm polite to him, right?
Like, hey, yeah, it's nice, but you already know.
But then I get, like, the email or the mail from as, you know, trying. You know, I start getting. They try to suck me in. I'm like, nah, bro.
But I have to tell you, and I mean this with all sincerity. Everybody listening right now. I admire them, because what I thought in my teens and my 20s is the only way I could figure out is through my own trial and error. And that's, like, so 1990, right? That's the stupidest way to learn in.
The history of the world.
Learn from everybody else's mistakes like I was. And it sounds like I'm bragging, but I'm blessed to be dear friends with Tony Robbins. Yeah. I spent three.
Now, that's how you know when you made it, when. When you feel like you're bragging. You know what I'm saying? When, like. Like when you know when. When you've made it, when other people are bragging, think they're bragging, they say they're friends with you. You know what I'm saying? Tony's doing okay.
Yeah, Tony's doing all right. Right. But I mean, I. I had the chance to spend 3.3years in a row a week straight with Richard Branson on his private island. Right? Cause we. I helped. Only reason I got there. Only reason I did this, because I got to. I raised a. I raised a million bucks for his charity.
Yeah.
And cut a big check for myself and got my way into the island. We became friends. He invited me back two years in a row. But when I look at what those guys shared, Richard and I, we. We sailed around his island. He gets up at 5. So did I. Nobody else on the island did. He's like, you want to see? I spent three hours, just me and him, sailing. I learned more in that 3, 5.
Just to do that, man, I'd be out.
But in those three hours, I just shut up and listen. I asked five or six strategic questions, and I listened. I mean, think how much that guy's been through before me. And I got to rob that. Yeah, right?
From Saves you literally tens of millions of dollars and years.
Years. I mean, one thing, listen. I run some high level masterminds. I shared some of the people in our group. We get together and share. All you gotta do is go around the room and share. What's the one best thing you've realized in the last 90 days to scale your business? Craig Clemons, Dan Sullivan, you know, all these amazing. Russell Brunson, they share that. Fuck, I'm writing like crazy. But I give mine best and they're writing like crazy. So I didn't mean to digress there other than saying if you're listening right now, I admire the shit out of you because you're not about it. You're not someone that wishes. You're not just hoping you'll get rich or pick the right crypto coin, all that. Oh, dude, get your going.
Don't get me started with that.
You know what I mean? Like get your going and know that there's no magic money machines. There's just time and following someone else's path, that's already carved it before you.
Yeah, yeah, dude. You know, we talk a lot, especially about this. I think this is something that, and I'm interested to hear what you think on this because I believe it to be fact. We have a situation, you know, breaking free of the mental mindset of being quote unquote poor or broke or whatever. Financially. Right. Financially struggling. When a child grows up and you could think about this when you grow up and when I grow up and, and when other people grow up, you learn from your parents and you love your parents. You listen to everything they say. You listen, you taught to listen to your teachers. You're taught to listen to your guiding counselor. You talk to listen to your coaches. And you look at like where, where your parents were, right? They're probably lower middle class, middle class people. If you're listening right now, that's pretty much our, our demographic. Your coaches are probably the same, your teachers are probably the same. And for your whole life you hear these, these things put into your head, you know, like your dad comes home and he's pissed off, he's like, oh my boss did this. He's that rich fucker. Blah blah, blah, right? You hear these comments, these little comments that people don't even know they're fucking making.
Yeah.
For 20 years. Right. What do you think your beliefs are going to be about success? You're going to believe that it's good thing to be average? You're going to believe that it's a bad thing to be rich? You're going to believe that.
You know what's every movie, Every movie, the rich guy is the fucking villain.
Exactly. But dude, breaking free of that mentality you did that. I did that. Okay. Now, I came from. My dad was a successful guy. I was very lucky. I had my dad. But we weren't wealthy. Okay? We. Doing that is one of the hardest things for people to do because when they start to do it right, they start to pull away and they start to listen and they start repeating things that they hear from like you or Tony. They get on by everybody, right? Their parents are like, what the are you doing? Why you want to be wealthy? You know, money's not everything. You're being selfish and they get hammered hard. And what. Like, what I want people to realize is a. Like, you said that you had respect for everybody listening. I do too, because. Are you even listening to this? It says something about your pursuit and what you're willing to go through. And two, what I want you to know is something you touched on the competition at the beginning. When you're first trying to break free of that. That circle that you've had your whole entire life to think a different way, that's when it's the fucking hardest.
It is.
That's when everybody that you love and trust and depended on and learn from your whole life is going to look at you and they're going to fucking say things to you that upset you and hurt you. And guys, I have to tell you, man, as much as that sucks, it's 10 times better when you start to meet people who have the same views and the same vision. The same.
And so. Right?
Yeah, because, like, dude, I can remember when I started my business and people would say things to me, even family members, dude, when are you going to grow up and get a real job? Why you. Do you still own that little vitamin shop? You know, when are you guys going to get serious about this and everything in between? Right? We were making no money. I made. I made $0 the first three years. $695 the next seven years. Okay? So you're. You're in the struggle period, where things aren't going well.
Yeah.
Then you have on top of it, everybody that you love and respect telling you you're fucking up. Right? And. But I have to tell you guys, and I want you to, you know, tell them what you think on this too, because when you get out of that, like when you break free of that, of what we're talking about, that struggle at the bottom, and you start to move up and align yourself with people who feel the same way, do. Life becomes way, way better. Way better because you're. You're aligned and it would be the same for those people. Like, the same for those people like that are at the. They think that way they're more comfortable and their life is better around people that think that way.
Of course.
So understand that, like, when you're trying to break out of that. That system that you're. It's going to be the hardest fucking time as an entrepreneur.
Absolute hardest. Part. Yes, you hit. Ran it. I mean, I talk about that all the time because, remember, I had like a fucking intervention with my family when I started my. Like, you understand, I was a broke kid, started a car business, started doing pretty good. Then all of a sudden I got a couple. No money down real estate deals. I got 20 apartments under my belt. I'm flipping cars, and all of a sudden I'm gonna write a book and go in the infomercial business.
Dean, what do you. Who do you think you are?
I mean, you get to a point where people either. Either you're. You got lucky or you're an asshole. So if you try and fail, it's like, I knew Andy was gonna fail anyway. And then if you tried something and it was work, like, ah, lucky bastard.
Yeah, there's no in between. Exactly.
Right. So I had my family sit down and say, hey, from where you came from without having money, you don't have a college education. You're doing a couple hundred grand a year with your car business. You're. Stop it, Dean. Stop it, you're fine. Stop being a dreamer. This is the end. And luckily I realized that, like, I broke through the first time I had to break through that barrier.
Yeah.
Like, you just have to realize, like, a couple of the little things that I'll share is think of the people you surround yourself with, right? And think of if you would replace your life immediately with the people who give you advice and tell you you're a dreamer. I've been doing that for so many years, Andy. Like, I'll see something like, oh, listen, you can't do it this way. And immediately I go, what if I fucking woke up tomorrow and looked in the mirror and I was this guy? I'd shoot myself. Yeah, right, I'd shoot myself. Somebody who's got a job, who's even making 300 grand a year, but they're answering to somebody. They're a time and effort community. Like, they have to go to work. They only get paid. I mean, listen, I admit we need lawyers, we need doctors. Where would we be without them, right? But even a doctor, best doctor, he's getting clocked in every Fucking hour. A lawyer. Even if he gets 600 bucks an hour, still working by the hour. I'm gonna go to bed tonight and make money. So are you, Right? Because. Because we just broke through that norm. And, you know, I think. I don't want to go back to what you're saying.
Like, if you literally think about your life, okay, because this is exactly what happens. You're surrounded by everybody who's telling you you can't, and you're crazy and what are you doing and why you do. Who the fuck do you think you are? You're. You're too good for us now. All that, Right? And you take all those people away and replace more people that tell you.
You can do this.
You can do this. Dude, you're killing it.
You're fucking badass. Yeah.
And you. Because that's what it's like.
Yeah, that's the difference.
Like, dude, you get out of that circle and you get around people that are. That are. That are. Have the same goals, and that's what you have. You take away. You. You're basically cutting an anchor off your fucking boat and replacing with a jet engine.
Yeah, completely. I mean. I mean, think I want to talk about the, like, the myths of money, right? Because you said that and you hit a point because there's people listening right now, still going, yeah, but you don't get where I came from. You don't get what my family's like or what my friends are like, right? And think about, like, well, that's a.
Fucking thing too, right, Dean? Like, that's. Dude, you need to get over the fact that you think you're a fucking special circumstance, because you're not.
You're not. We all have our shit, right? And they like listening right now. I love this when Tony says it, but you get to make the decision right now that you're not gonna listen anybody's shit anymore. I mean, think about. I won't go back too far, but this is what I want to say. And I hesitated because I don't want to digress too much, but the way the school system is created, I did. I just did a lot of research on this. It's still built around the Industrial Revolution, right? You think when Ford and Firestone and way back when the Industrial Revolution boomed, they started making schools, so there was buzzers and bells and lunch hours. So when people got out of school, going to work for fucking Ford on assembly didn't seem that fucking bad.
Right?
Right. We never change that in school. They want you to sit, be quiet, don't collaborate. If we didn't collaborate with other successful people, I'd be broke as shit. I'd still be slinging fenders. On cars. Right.
So I'd be working the counter at one of my stores. Right?
Exactly. Exactly. And. And the other thing, too, is I want to give everybody permission right now to. To throw away. And I don't want to. You want to reel me back in, I might digress. But this is so important.
This is. This is what we need to do.
Yeah.
So you're fine.
Okay. So. Yeah, I want you to. The biggest lie we've ever been told in the history of the world is to work on your weaknesses. It's full of shit. And all it does when there's so many people listening right now. They're saying, I'd love to do what Andy did. I'd love to do what Dean did. But you understand, man, I'm not good at reading or, you know, I'm not that good with bookkeeping, or I'm afraid to talk to people.
You're fucking good at something.
Right? So. Or I can't. I could never do public speaker. I could never sit and do. I'd love to talk to Andy, but I'd get so nervous, like. So what happens is, you carry that. Because we're taught in school to fix your weaknesses. Fuck your weaknesses.
Yeah.
Pay someone eventually to do the shit you're weak at.
Yeah.
Get amazing at what you're good at. You. If you feel inferior about something, there's a couple things that happen. First, you. You were probably judged by an outdated scorecard. I had missed Thompson all through seventh grade. Tell me you're a loser. You're pathetic. Just fucking sound it out. I couldn't. I had dyslexia and didn't know it. I'm like, I can't sound it out.
Yeah.
And I remember going years, thinking, man, I'll be lucky to be a mechanic someday.
Yeah.
If I listen to Ms. Thompson. If I listen to Mr. Beal in.
10Th grade, bro, I had a counselor tell me straight to my face, I told him. I said I was going to take the act. And he was like, you. He's like, you know, I said I wanted to go to. I wanted to go to Duke or Notre Dame or one of these schools. And he's like. He looks at me right in the face and he goes, blandy. Those schools are for, like, the cream of the crop. And I'm thinking, yeah. And, you know, I was. I wasn't short on confidence, really. You know, and he's like. Like, well, you're like a 2.0 student. And he's like, I'd be surprised if you got an 18. And I'm like, an 18. I'm like, what's a good score? And he's like, well, you know, a 24. You'd be. You should be thrilled. I went out the night before, I got drunk as and I smoked a bunch of weed and I got a 30. Yeah. The problem with me was that school was not. School was not hard enough.
Yeah.
It was too easy. So I got bored.
And the only reason. Yeah, no, Yeah. I get.
Sorry to get off track.
No, no, no, don't get off track. I love it. I just want to go loop it back around and just given everybody permission listening right now to stop believing the shit that you were told, because it's not true. You might have been outdated by a bad scorecard. You might have parents that think they're protecting you because they went bankrupt or they were stuck in a fucking job. It doesn't mean they're bad people. It just means that they have an outdated rule. Successful people don't think like everybody else.
Right.
If you're thinking like all your buddies and you don't like the money they make and you don't like the lives they live or the worries they have or the negative piddly talk that they do, if you hang around and do what they do, you just get what they get.
Always.
Right? So.
And by default, no matter how much you don't want it, you're gonna have it. You have. Dude. It's so. It's so important to be aware of this, and people just aren't. And then when they become aware of it, they start making excuses of why they want to keep people, and they're like, well, he's been my friend since second grade, or, it's my mom, or, you know, it's my best friend, or, you know, they. They make these. These excuses as to why to keep them there. And I have. Every time we talk about this, people are like, well, what about if it's your dad? Or, what about if it's your mom? Well, I said what I said, and there was no exceptions to it.
So you can love them, but you have to listen to it.
That's right.
And the only thing I say when people say, what my dad thinks this, I'm like, would you replace your life with your dad's right now? Not critical. He's probably the best dad in the world, but do you want to live his life for 40 years or do you want to do something? Listen, when I was in my 20s, I retired. Both my parents, both of them who thought I was nuts, haven't worked since I was 27 years old. They get new cars, they get checks every week. Yeah, they don't question me anymore. Believe me, they don't question me anymore. And to go a little bit further on that, don't work on your weaknesses. Just to clarify, this is. The more time you spend working on something you're not good at, the more you rob your confidence. And let me just ask you this. Could you be as successful as you are without your confidence?
No, but. But I also earned the confidence.
Of course.
A little bit of time, Right.
And you earn it by getting better at what you're good at.
Right?
So when I say that, pay someone else to do just like Dean. I don't have a dollar to my name. Yeah, but what I'm saying is, fine tune what you're good at. And I'm gonna give you a quick example. I was 20 years old, or 9. 20 years old. I owned a 10 unit apartment house. When I was 18, I bought this old rundown house. A guy gave it to me, no money down, and I'd fix one apartment up and I'd live in it while I worked on the next one. And when next one was almost done, I'd move in it. When it wasn't done and I rent the one I was in, I'd use that money to go. So it took me a year. I get these done. And my dad never made more than 30 grand a year. I love my dad, great guy. Just, he was born during a depression, so he still had that mindset, Right?
So total scarcity.
So now, now this is. I'm in my early 20s, I got a collision shop. I have about 20 apartments. And I started building my first house to sell. And I realized on Saturdays, my dad always taught me, do everything yourself. Don't pay somebody for something that you could do. Right? Completely wrong mindset. Completely wrong. Told me not to borrow money from the bank. Completely wrong. You can leverage it, right? But long story short, so this fucking place had a lawn that was like five acres. Every Saturday, my eyes would be watering. I'm weed whacking and mowing the lawn. Take me all fricking day. A buddy of mine who's like, still works for me 18 years, a million years later, a lot more than 18, he says, I'll mow it all for 50 bucks. So my dad comes up on a Saturday and he pulls in and sees me leaving, and I got someone else mowing my lawn. My dad, Italian guy, had a fucking temper. He loses his mind, every curse word you could possibly imagine. And he's going, oh, fucking big shots. We saying fucking big shot, you got somebody mowing your lawn? He's like, I guess you don't mind the language. He's. My dad said, you know what? You're. You're. You're a big shot now getting somebody to mow lawn. And here's what I thought about. As soon as he left, he. He left spinning the wheels of his car so much. It was a gravel driveway. Freaking dented the whole side of my car because he hit the gas like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Yeah.
But when he left, I thought to myself, I'm on to something. Because he struggled his whole life trying to do it all himself. And here's what I thought about what is the return on investment of that 50 bucks. If I go to my collision shop and do one deal, I could probably make a grand that day. If I go to the auto sales and I sell one car, I could probably make 2,500 bucks. Or if I go find another real estate deal, I can make 50 grand. So anything I did was either a thousand or a $10,000 return on that $50, right? And I. When I got that mindset, I thought about it for everything. I'm not good at reading and spelling. I wrote my first book. I gave it to an editor and the editors. This isn't a book. It's a 300 page conversation. You need to rewrite the whole thing. It put me in a loop. I shouldn't try to write a book. And I had dyslexia. And then I was like, no, fuck this. It's a good story.
Yeah.
So I fired her. I hired someone else and said, I can't write good. I don't have good grammar or good English, but the stories are amazing. So just clean up my shit and leave it. That was my first book, totally fulfilled. It was a New York Times bestseller in seven days. And that wasn't a promotion. It just fucking hit the bookstore and went nuts. Right? That book almost didn't live because someone was telling me to work on my weaknesses, because that's how she was programmed. But she was a fucking. She's great at writing, but what does she do? She edits other people's books. I'm not being. But I could tell she dreamed of writing her own books because then when it became a New York Times bestseller, She's like, how did you do it? It's like you're dreaming.
I did what I said I was going to do that you said I couldn't do.
Exactly. So. So I just want to give everybody permission right now that you're not a fucking dream. Don't work on your weaknesses. Find out what you're good at and get so damn good at it that you can pay other people to do this shit.
You suck at Dean. I feel like I've gotten some messages lately from people who follow us, and they've talked about how you guys talk about find out what you're good at and make money off of it. It's kind of crazy because I get this a lot. I feel like I've gotten this a lot lately that people still insist that what they're good at is not marketable. And so one. One girl in particular said, like, literally, the only thing I can think about that I'm good at is I'm good at caring about people. So how would you. What would you say to somebody like that who literally says everything I'm good at? I'm just. Is just not marketing.
So I would study if it was that particular thing, if that was me and I was broke, someone threw me outside here saying, took all my money away, and I was good at caring about people. I'd study the best life coaches online, I'd go to their podcast, I'd learn what life coaching is, and I'd go get a freaking click Funnels account for 47 bucks and I'd market and I'd be a life coach and just out, market out, care out, produce out, build more reciprocity than anybody else and get going. But again, the other problem is people have this misconception of, I, I need to build a. I need a business plan. Then I got to get business cards. And then I got like. It's unfortunate that we were all taught the wrong.
Exactly.
We were all taught the wrong thing.
I grew up thinking that too, man. Like, thinking I can remember the first time I tried it, you know, I was. I was like you. I was trying to do my whole life, like baseball, cars, lemonade.
Me too.
Did it everything right. Dude, I thought, you know, dude, once you had a business card, once you had an office, you made it, man. Like, I thought that's what business people.
Will spend three months designing their logo, stain on it, and market it good, and it'll work better.
Dude, people just don't. They. They. They buy into. First of all, getting back to, like, what you were saying about school, like they all of this goes together. They're immersed in mediocrity their whole entire life. Okay. None of the people that you're surrounded by know anything about succeeding. Nothing. They know nothing. Now they might love you, they might be great people, but they know nothing about making money and nothing about financial success. And then you go out and you think it's not possible. Well no, you think it's not possible. But it is. Because they'll teach you that it's magic or it's luck or it's mystical. And dude, it is possible. It's, it's. It's an equation of math. Like we always say it's A plus B equals C. That's it. But the one thing that people don't, I think they're starting to realize it. But if you really want to wake the up and like get like 10,000 foot view of what school is all about. School is about teaching you how to show up on time, how to follow directions, how to go home, do your at home, come back and become somebody who can be employable somewhere else. Yeah, and become a fucking robot. That's why you need a degree to work certain places. Because they want you to be who you are and be good at that and never fucking ask for anything. Never develop and stay and be that cog.
Why do you think right now that Valium is the number one prescription in America? Because people are finally fucking have exposed to realize that what we were taught, that you should go be me in the middle, you should do what everybody else says, show up on time, do your work and go home. Get the 401k and you'll be fine. People are finally saying that ain't a fucking enough. I'm not gonna be a rope. I want to live. I want to find my passion. I want to be in better health. I want to be more. I don't want to come home and look at my phone.
Why do you think there's such an awakening now versus back?
Because I think of social media. Social media, like when did used to read, you know when I was a kid there was the lifestyles of the rich and famous.
That's why it was my tv.
It was mystical. Oh, you could never reach that. Right, right. And it's all of a sudden once you break down again. I admire you for listening and listen every single chance you get to this guy. But you got to realize that this is something everybody listening can make a part of their life. Like you have to get rid of the well. But if you have a but. Find out what that story is. You know, one thing I love to say, and I've done this my whole life, is what's standing between you and your next level of life, of what you want, isn't the economy. It's not the fucking president. It's not what the Congress is going to do. It doesn't matter if you live in Kansas City or St. Louis or Phoenix or New York. It doesn't matter if your parents had money, if you went to college. What's standing between you and the life you desire is the fucking story you tell yourself. If you say, I'm not smart enough, then you're not. If you say, I mean this. I didn't make this.
You are. What the fuck you are. Like, what you believe you are is. Exactly. Yeah. And I'm not.
We didn't make this up. I've been saying personal development forever, but it's true.
Exactly. We've. No, we've. When you first read that somewhere, which I know because you're allowed to read and consume content, when you first read that somewhere, you probably thought, that's bullshit. Yeah, right. Like, but as you get through the. The journey and you get to a certain point, you look back, you're like. Then you see the same quote. You're. Holy fuck, dude. That's exactly true. Like, it's so true that, like, I make fun of myself for thinking it was bullshit.
You know what I mean? I'm gonna tell you a little story. Yeah. A buddy of mine. This is about life. What you focus on is what you become, is what you get. You think it's not gonna work out. You think the relationship's not gonna. It just goes in that direction. And I'm gonna be 50 this year. I can't believe it. But. But it's so real that when.
I'll tell you a example of this right now, I'm sitting here with you. I'm sitting with you, okay? Like, dude, you guys don't understand. Like, I've watched Dean on TV for 15, 20 years. I've. I got a. Or I got an invite to go to Tony Robbins event from Tony himself through my let. Like, dude, I focused on success in consuming this kind of content and becoming someone who lives it and becoming a student of success and obsessed over it so hard. Now we're sitting here together.
No, it's awesome. No, same with me. Tony's one of my best friends. Fifteen years ago, I wrote in a journal, all I want to do is meet him and thank him right Right. I got the chance to meet him. We were going to spend an hour together. We spent two days together.
Yeah, right.
I mean, buds ever since. But that was. I mean, I was sitting there with Tony. If I. I was telling you earlier, if somebody would have said to me 10 years ago, yeah, or you could meet anybody you want, any living legend, it would have been Tony. Because he made such an impact on my life.
Right?
And that's why I love giving it back. That's why I know you do, too. Tell you this story really quick about what you focus on is right now, as you're listening to us, if you got a pen or you want to write it in your phone, think about as we're talking about. You could live that next level. You could make more money. I guarantee. There's a but going on right now. There's. Yeah, but these guys don't know that. My parents suck. I don't have money. I'm not that smart. I live in the wrong place. There's a but. That's just a fucking story. Just. And you could. You could prove that story is a lie by googling it and find people had the same shit as you. And the. They're living successful. But one. One thing that always comes to mind is a buddy of mine takes him and a bunch of dads, they take like 15 high school boys on whitewater rafting in Colorado, right? So they're gonna do this trip. They're gonna. And it rains for a week before they go. And I don't know rapids. I've never done it, but I guess they go from 0 to 5 or 1 to 5. There were fives?
Yeah.
So all these dads, they got like 15 kids. A lot of the parents aren't there. Like, shit, yeah, I'm gonna kill somebody, kid. We're not gonna do this. And he said. He told me the story. He didn't know he was telling me that. I was like, I hear stories and they imprint on me for life. You're probably the same way. You guys probably get that. So he says, all of a sudden, this guy comes out, looks like he's 60 years old, ripped, you know, like, just looks like a mountain guy, right? Yeah. Comes out, he goes, boys, get in the rafts. We're fine. He said, he gets in the raft. He said, just want to tell you this. And he puts his finger up and he goes, you see this finger? I've been doing this for 35 years, never lost a person. But this is the only thing you got to do. This is Called the positive point. He said, all I ask you boys to do is commit to one thing. Wherever I point, you focus in that direction and you paddle your guts out to get in that direction and we'll be fine. He goes, if I ever pointed to the rock or pointed to the downed tree or I point to the big rapid, you'll all look, take focus off and we'll flip over and we'll all drown. So remember, this is the positive point. Go where I point. And that's fucking life.
That's fucking genius, dude.
But that's life.
That is life.
Because right now people are living, listening. Right now they're pointing towards the rocks. There's no yeah, but, yeah, but yeah, but if you point it, it's self fulfilling. If you say, I don't have money, I'm not smart enough, my friends won't support me. That's your fucking life. And if you decide today, in this very moment, change happens in an instant. If you decide right now, I'm just changing where I'm pointing. I start with a positive point. I'm pointing towards my own business. I'm pointing towards going into graphic design. I'm pointing towards, I'm going to go into music and fuck what my parents say. Because I can do, like, this is your moment, like you can decide. I'm just shifting what I point at, right?
Dude, I love it, man. I. I think that's a great story, dude. That's one of my favorite stories I think I've heard on the podcast. It's. It is the truth too, man.
What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them and I'll see you there. Sa.
