This is a transcript of a Dean Graziosi coaching video outlining four pillars to protect and grow personal confidence. Graziosi identifies common confidence-robbers — outside influences like the news, seeking approval from unqualified people, and harmful comparisons/advice — and recommends concrete actions: a two-week news diet, stop asking for permission, compare only to your past self, and replace draining inputs with empowering people and books.
Chapters
Four pillars to protecting your confidence. Number one, watching the outside influences. What are some things that take away your confidence? How about the news? Does the news raise your confidence or lower your confidence? Have any of you watched the news in the last six months and said to yourself, damn, things are going in a great direction? I feel amazing. God, our country, our world, we're in a really good spot, honey. If you miss the news, you should watch it tonight. It's so inspirational. No, if you watch the news right now, tell me you don't get mad. I don't care if you watch conservative news or liberal news, you gotta be pissed off. True, right? So if it pisses you off and it makes you feel insecure, but you do it again tomorrow and you do it again the next day, that is one of those things that you are doing that frustrates you, that lowers your confidence, stopping you from taking that uncomfortable action, but you are doing it anyway. Here's a revolutionary idea. Go on a two week news diet. Not an ounce of it. Don't read it, don't watch it, don't listen to if your friends start talking about it. Go. I'm on a two week news diet. See what it's like. I know some of you got to go through a little withdrawal. See what it's like to go two weeks with zero influence on the outside. Because the only way we get to change the world anyway, no one's coming to save us. Doesn't matter if you like the last president or hate him or you like the new president or hate him wherever you live in the world or the next one, if you love him or hate him, none of them are fixing our shit, excuse my language. None of them are coming to fix us. So if they're not coming to fix it, why the hell are we letting that outside influence dictate how we feel? If we want to change the economy in the world, change the economy in your home, you want to change the global conversation. Change the global conversation and the people that you can impact. Number two, unqualified people, for some reason, we are looking for edification. We are looking for permission for people that are unqualified to give us that permission. The hell is that? Like if you have a husband who doesn't believe in what you believe. We're just always working to get him to give us a pat on the back. God gave you this vision. The universe gave you this vision. Not him, not your friends, but for some reason you're looking for this. Come on, just say, add a girl, go do it. You may never get it. And when we look for it and we don't get it, it robs our confidence. I just wish they'd have my back. Maybe they won't. The best definition I've ever heard of. Was it the best? I think it was. Frank Sinatra said, the best revenge is success. I don't mean you want to get revenge against someone who doesn't believe in you. But don't tell them what you're going to do. Show them what you've done. Greatest lesson my grandmother taught me. She taught me that when I was really little. She goes, don't ever tell anybody what you're going to do. Just do it. They'll find out. How cool is that? Like, just do it. They'll find out, Right? So don't ask for permission. The only person that needs to give you permission to build your confidence is the person you see in the mirror when you're brushing your teeth. So stop looking for unqualified people to give you a pat on the back. Or add a boy, add a girl. It's you. Okay, number three. What do you guys think is the most expensive advice in the world? We're asking our broke friend about our new business. We're asking our single friend about our relationships. Come on. We're asking the negative person. You already know some of the people you ask advice, you already know what they're going to say, ah, you're crazy. You should be happy with what you have. You already know if you ask the right person, that's exactly what they're going to tell you. So what the hell are we looking for? The most costly advice in the world is bad advice comparison. Today in social media, we start going online and going, oh, they're happier, they're faster, they're younger, they're quicker, they understand technology. We have no idea what's going on in people's lives. Social media could be some of the fakest crap you've ever seen in your Life. Somebody takes 72 pictures with 14 different filters to make everything look perfect. And they get done and they kick their dog and yell at their spouse like, you don't know what's going on behind people's doors. So don't compare yourself to anyone else. Compare yourself to who you were last week. That's who. We have to compare ourselves. We just have to make progress, progress internally. We just have to look back and go, I was pretty cool a year ago, but I'm freaking better now. I was scared a month ago. I'm less scared today. I didn't understand my dot three months ago. I know what the hell that is now, right? All we have to do is be a better version of ourselves today than we were last week. That's the only person to compare to. So with that simple analogy, I started to if things rob our confidence, like the news and unqualified people and bad advice in comparison, what should we do? As a trick question, what should we do with those less ditch them. Get rid of them. Right? Sounds so simple. But if you don't remind yourself, in a month from now, a week from now, you're going to be watching the news, asking your sister, comparing yourself to someone online, going, why the hell is any of this working for me? I should just quit. Like, that's just the way it goes. So what do we have to do? We have to stay engaged. Find people that light you up. Read books that empower you. Don't look at the news. Find the when you not look at the news, listen to a Wayne Dyer book. Not looking at the news, find something that inspires you. Do something other than what you were doing that robs your confidence. Stay engaged in this and do something that empowers your confidence. What you were doing that robs your confidence.
