The 4 THINGS Poor Do That The RICH DON'T | Dean Graziosi

Ourselves with the empowerment to drive the beliefs that we watch or the beliefs that we don't. So if it's the news, if it's a negative person, and when you decide you really want to write that book, start that new company, start the exercise.

Routine, learn a new language, be a better parent, and something's holding you back, identify it.

In times like these, we need to take uncomfortable, imperfect, courageous action because a.

Lot of times we've gotten a hypnotic.

Rhythm of our life and we don't even. We're not upset anymore.

Beliefs, what creates them and what affects them. And I want to give some, maybe some thoughts that you've never looked through on what creates your belief or what they can affect. If anybody, if you've read my book, you know that I say the outside influences will affect your beliefs more than you realize, no matter how strong you are. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves from the outside world. If you have a drinking problem, it's probably not a good thing to spend seven nights a week in a bar, right? If beliefs are a hard thing to keep strong, what can we do from the outside world, right? We got the inner game and we got the outer game, right? We're working all the time on our inner game, isn't it? Sometimes it's a pain in the ass. You're just working on it, working on it. And then one thing from the outside world throws us off a cliff. Like, it's crazy. But what can you do to empower beliefs that bring you towards the direction you want to go compared to bringing in things that empower beliefs that keep you small? So I always talk about the news. For me, I physically can't watch the news. I've been on a news diet for over 10 years now because I've never watched the news and got done and went, holy shit, I feel amazing. God, I feel good. Give my dad a call. Dad, you gotta see the seven o' clock news. You'll feel amazing. If you missed it at five, you should see it at seven. No. So, because here's what I know. When's the last time you watched the news and you wanted to run out and really go after it? Get life going? Or do you go, wow, things are really screwed up. I mean, think about what's on the news right now. I mean, I was in the gym yesterday. The only time I get glimpses of news without audio is when I'm at the gym and there's like five screens on and. And then the funny part is it's like watching CNBC or CNN and Fox, it's like, are they both in the same country? Right? It's like so literally just seeing the subtitles is enough to screw me up. But think about that. In all areas of your life, what in your life fuels a belief of doubt and what in your life fuels a belief of hope and passion and drive? And I'm not going to go through all of them, but you need to identify them. Who in here, you don't have to say, you don't have to raise your hand because maybe you brought them with you, you know what I mean? Just saying, who in here will self admit that your spouse or a friend brought you here kicking and screaming, like drug you here? There's a go who's afraid to admit it, but it's true, right? It's like, ah, I'm going to go there and then, believe me, we'll convert you before you leave. You have no idea. You'll be reading my book tonight before you go to bed. But what affects you like news? If you watch the news or read the paper cover to cover and it alters your beliefs just a fraction, just a millimeter in a direction. Mary, you starting trouble up here, it's good to have you here. If something alters you just a fraction, then it's putting you on a different course. So I would think about it. If you watch the news or read the paper cover to cover and you feel a little bit self doubt, if you have a little bit of belief that like maybe now's not the time, then should you do more of that or less of that? Right? If you have a friend who you love dearly, sometimes we have friends for 20 years. Every time you're with them it's like they have a battery charger and they plug it into you and they sit suck all the energy out of you and when you're done you're like, ah shit, maybe I should just go get a job and jump off a cliff. Like we all have those. I mean, who has the friend that when your phone rings or you get a text you go aw shit, should I get that now? And then the worst part is like sometimes you don't even want to wait for it to ring to go to voicemail. So you hit the end button and, and they know it and they're like, and they call back three more times, then they text you. I know you sent me to voicemail and I don't take voicemail, so that's really terrible. But what, so what affects you in that way? So I want you to start thinking like if we have to create beliefs that make us bulletproof. Listen, this is. I shared this yesterday. We have one life here. Are we going to play this life full out? Are we going to go to our deathbed thinking we could have done more? Screw that. This is the time to go for it now. There's no better time than now. We're going to start someday. That someday will never come, right? So we have to protect ourselves. So are we going to fill ourselves with the empowerment to drive the beliefs that we want or the beliefs that we don't? So if it's the news, if it's a negative person, if it's a certain activity you do that makes you feel bad about yourself, if there's something I said yesterday about working on your weaknesses, if there's something you feel like you have to do, but every time you do it, it makes you feel inform or it robs your confidence, you have to find a way to get rid of that crap. Because our beliefs are the only thing that drive us here. Listen, we also have old programming. I talked yesterday about Ryan, the kid that works for me. He's 17, just turned 18 years old. His girlfriend's parents. His girlfriend's parents, every time they go there, are telling him because he didn't barely got out of high school, he did. He graduated online, and he's deciding on a different path. I'm not knocking college in any way. What would we do without college and doctors and professors and all the things that are amazing. But it's not his path. But he goes. And because his girlfriend's parents, they're really tough on him. He makes. He feels like a loser when he's over there. But when he's there, they want him to go to school to be an engineer. They want him to go school and have his degree because that's how they were programmed. What he found out last week is he's currently making $18,000 a year, more than both his parents combined, his girlfriend's parents combined. And. And better yet, he's happy every single day. The guy has lit up so much in our office, we have to, like, calm him down because he's excited about everything. It's like, we got, you know, you get new cups. He's like, did we get new cups in the office?

These cops are amazing.

It's like, all right, but here's what. Here's the conversation we had because of old programming. The conversation we had was, my girlfriend's parents want me to go to school. That makes me miserable. School's not for me. I could never do it. He had some similar. The reason I have a liking to him because he has similar issues I had when I was in school. He's like, go to school for four years, which I hate, and then get in a job that I dislike to make less money than I'm making right now. But if I did that, they'd put their arm around me and say, congratulations. It's so counterintuitive, but we have old programming. I mean, listen, what I never understood.

Is.

When you were in high school or college or just starting out life, you have these dreams, you have the aspirations, you have these big goals in some cases, right? And the world tells us that we're dreaming. I mean, think about when we want to step out from the line everybody else is having and go after our own shit and do our own thing. And people saying, hey, get real, when you get a Lola, you'll see that that's not. And all of a sudden you start squashing your dreams. You start playing smaller in your own life to make people around you feel better. And here's the thing, you quit your dream, you quit your desire, and you take some job that makes somebody else happy. And all of a sudden you, you get somebody's arm around you saying, hey.

Now you're finally growing up.

Really, it's so, I mean, listen, I'm not saying this to make anybody sad because you're in this room now, but how many people in their 20s and 30s took a five minute job to make other people happy or just pay the bills until you could get to your goals and then 30, 40 years went by? True. Now, I don't say that to make you. But here's the thing. But you're in this room now. You're not accepting that anymore. You're not playing small anymore. You're going for that next level. So we can't do anything about our past, but we surely could start today on a new future. So I would say watch the old programming because some of it is, you know, listen, my dad's here today, which is awesome to have family here. Everybody. My dad, my dad's 83 and looks 55. I got some good genes going on. Exactly. But watch the old programming because I said that about my dad. My dad was born during the depression. So my dad, I shared with you yesterday, everything my dad did when we were young is if you could do it yourself, why pay somebody? And every room you walk out of, you didn't turn the light off. It was like Death. Like we were gonna die if we didn't turn the lights off. But he had to. That's how he got by. Now I go around the room and just turn in the house and just turn every light on possible. I can afford that shit. No, but I say that because that's old programming. So I wanna encourage you today to watch the old programming that's gonna screw with your beliefs. Cause you might believe I can go do more real estate. I could do my first deal. I could be a wholesale monster. While simultaneously, you might have a belief that's residual from your parents that say, you better get a job, go to school and work for somebody else, because if you start your own business, you'll go bankrupt, Right? So simultaneously you're like, man, I want this. But why the hell am I feeling hesitant? Why am I holding back? It's because of a belief that's in there. It's not because of anything in the outside world. I mean, go think about it. Think about what stopped you from reaching your next level over the last year. And if I said, hey, run up to your room and grab it, could you go get it? It's a belief. Where does it live? It lives in here. It lives in our hearts. So we have to acknowledge that. We have to be aware of it. And we have to feed the beliefs that fuel our desire.

The war of art. Not the art of war, the war of art. And I would suggest it to anyone. And, you know, if you've been watching me for years, you know, I talk a lot about this villain that's created inside of us.

Well, Sam.

I forget Sam's last name right this moment. The lude escapes me. But the author of the War of Art talks about it as resistance. So I want to share this with you today. That resistance is that thing that happens that makes us procrastinate. It makes us, in today's world, surf the Internet instead of working on our passion. It's what makes us say, I really.

Love to do that, but it's a hobby.

When it really could be what you do full time and enjoy yourself more. Resist the. If you ever tried to write a book and you sit down and you.

Check your email and your bank accounts.

And text a few people first because you're not sure if you could make that happen. It's talking about following your dream and quitting that job and trying something new, but you don't. It's that same thing that I call the villain that society has built up inside of us. So society may have done it Rules and limiting stories that were told to us as kids may have done it, but it lives inside of us, and we're the only one that can defy it. So this morning, I was literally working out, and I had the earphones in, and I'm listening to resistance. And I got goosebumps a couple times, because resistance, if you look at it as a foe, as someone that you have to overcome, somebody that you want to beat, someone you're not going to let win, kind of changes the game a little bit. It's almost like we get to be two different people. When you're passionate about something. Let me give you an example right now. A couple months ago, I went with Tony Robbins, who's a good friend, and I spoke in China and Japan with him, and I was nervous. I was scared to death. It's a different country, it's a different world. It's a different language. I'm going to be on stage in front of 18,000 people. Tony doesn't put many people on his stage. I love the guy. I want to deliver to him. I was a nervous wreck. And when I look back at it now, it's because there was resistance. And that resistance is good when you're nervous, that's good. When you do the same thing over and over, what do you get? You get BO like your job. It's why things get mundane. It's because you're not putting. You're not fighting that resistance. Now, I'm sharing this with you today, and I'm getting on a plane right now.

I mean, when I'm done here, getting on a plane and going to Australia.

To speak on stage again with Tony. Now I'm a little nervous because it's different and I gotta adapt. But that resistance is. I could go, no, no, no, it's different. But no, it's actually exciting. And here's the thing that I think we all. And if you're watching me for years, you know, I talk about this stuff in different. But when we overcome resistance and we try something, when we realize that whether it fails or succeeds, we succeed. Because sometimes. Do you know anybody, maybe yourself, that talks about, I'm going to write this book, and when I do, it's going to do this and this and this. But you talk about it so much.

That you talk all the way through.

The success, but you also talk your way in. Oh, what if it fails? What if I look like a loser? What if I write my first book and no one buys it? What if it doesn't get published or what if I start that new company and I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough? So resistance starts telling you all these stories and it's easier to just talk about what you're going to do. The resistance is there because of life telling you, just conform, do what everybody else does. Don't step out of the box too much. The resistance is there thinking it's going to protect you, when really it's holding you back from being the best you possible. Mike, who's been filming me for years, I said, what did you think about this? He's like, well, I got that all the time. But how do I overcome the resistance? So here's what I'd like you to do this week. Not only look for the resistance, look for that villain telling you you can't, or stopping you or teaching you to procrastinate, or maybe you have an addiction. And I'm not going to go down like, I know how to cure addictions. But sometimes these things happen because we.

Want to go this way and we.

Feel the resistance and we don't want.

To do it or feel that villain telling us we can. Or society's words are this limiting story. We just go, let me go here.

For a quick high, whatever that is, whether it's sex, drinking, drugs, work, addiction, gambling, I don't know what it is.

But sometimes that flow.

So how do we get it? And power through that resistance who stands in our way? And what I'd like for you to think about this week is be the observer of your thoughts. I've been saying that for years.

And when you decide you really want to write that book, start that new.

Company, start the exercise routine, learn a new language, be a better parent, and.

Something'S holding you back.

Identify it.

Don't just get the habit of going, well, I don't feel like I'm going to go here. Because that's what our body, we get used to.

And our brain has this flow and.

It'S like, we're going to try and go over here.

I'd like you to stop in your tracks, be the observer of your thoughts and say, okay, if resistance had a voice, what would it be saying?

And write it down.

And then I'd like for you to.

Say, I know this is simple. We've been talking about things like this for years. Is it true? And if you're not sure, Google it. Get some leverage. That's Tony Robbins word. Get some leverage. Sometimes we say, you know, let's just use an example of writing a book. I know how much resistance I had when I wrote this, this first book totally fulfilled guys. I was in special reading till 10th grade. I didn't go to college because Mrs. Thompson in seventh grade, because I couldn't spell and I couldn't sound out words. She would tell me once a month, sound it out, are you stupid?

I mean, those, those words ring in my ear.

So I just always thought I was stupid and didn't even consider going to college. I'm a special reading. I'm stupid. I was judged by an outdated scorecard.

I was great in a lot of other things, but I just felt stupid.

Because I couldn't read.

But when I was going to write.

This, do you know how much resistance I had? I put this off and put it off, and then I started reading other people's books. I'm like, oh my God, I can't read their books. They're so much smarter than me. Then I did the first version of this book. I gave it to an editor and she literally said, I can't edit this. This is a 200 page conversation. You need to rewrite the whole book.

I'm like, oh, there it is.

I was right. I am too dumb. But it was all resistance with these lies. But no, if you read this book.

I had a message to deliver. Yes, it is a 280 page conversation.

But it's a pretty damn good one. But resistance almost stopped me. So what is stopping you? What resistance is stopping you from the life you're supposed to be? What if I didn't write this book? I might be doing something great, but I wouldn't have gotten my first New York Times bestseller and propelled me into doing these weekly wisdoms and real estate books and real estate education around the world, Right? So this week, identify, give a voice to that resistance, write it down and ask if it's true. And if it isn't true, then how can you listen to a lie? And if you think it might be true, Google it. Is it true that someone who barely graduates high school, who is in special reading, who has no formal education, who never took a damn class on how to write a book, who was broke when he wrote the book? It was just a transition period in my life, who never got a book published, is it true that that guy could write a book and get it published and it produced all over the world and be a New York Times bestseller? Yeah, it happened.

Here it is. I didn't have any favors.

I didn't have any friends in the book business. I didn't have somebody else. I wrote every word in this book. Now, I'm not talking about me like a dean's great.

I'm just talking.

I want you to see that there's more for you, and don't let this damn resistance hold you back. So I said that word about 500 times in this short period, but I really wanted to make an impact. My daughter, for those of you that don't know bre so many times when you make a mistake, or at least you perceive it as a mistake, which is probably just a lesson for you, I know that in the moment, you can handle it. But when you're alone at night and you're in your room, I know you again. You're 12. When I'm recording this, you get anxiety sometimes at night because you start thinking of the things you feel you did wrong or maybe upset somebody, or maybe you felt you were rude to somebody, or you failed a test in school and you allow it to eat you up. I shouldn't say allow. You're 12 years old. You're figuring this out. By the time you're watching this, you probably have it handled. But this is for you. This is for you, Brody. This is for Future Troll. It's for anybody watching. I used to beat myself up so bad when it came to mistakes, especially when I couldn't read and I felt pathetic and I thought I was going to be left behind. My friends were going off to college and doing all these great things, and I was stuck in my little town, going to be working on cars and greasy, you know, greasy fingernails and sucking paint fumes from working in a collision shop. And, man, every time I did something wrong, I beat myself up bad. If I felt I offended somebody, even if I didn't, I would beat myself up bad. If I thought I made the wrong choice, I should have went this way instead of this way, I would beat myself up bad. But here's what I want you to know at this phase of my life. And it's hard to get this perspective until you're actually here. I'm 50 now. I can look back. I'll look back and be wiser and smarter. At 60 and 70 and 80 and 90 and 100, I gotta go at least to 110. Maybe 115 is what I'm hoping. But here's the thing, kidding aside, when I look back, it's those mistakes. It's those failures that actually sharpen the knife. Listen, I know this is not mine. I didn't make it up. And you've probably heard it before. But the smoothest stone is in the roughest part of the stream. The most successful people I know, the happiest people I know are the ones that went through the hardest times, the ones that failed miserably. Most successful people have gone bankrupt or lost all their money at one point. Most people in really happy relationships, like your dad is right now, like I am right now. At this time of my life, it took me screwing up and making really bad mistakes and failing miserably in past relationships and doing the wrong things and thinking I was right and being too stubborn and not growing as a human being. But at the phase I'm at now, I those mistakes crafted the man I am today. The mistakes that I made as a child helped me translate and relate better to you now because I made those mistakes, I learned from them. I learned in relationships. I have a better relationship. I learned and went broke twice in my businesses, and hopefully that never happens again because I learned from those mistakes. I made mistakes with friends and felt terrible about it, but I crafted this next level. It sharpened the than knife. So in this video, I want to give you the lesson of don't beat yourself up about mistakes. Know that it's part of your journey. Know that failure is a part of success. It's not.

It's not a byproduct.

It's not something that could happen. It is a must. You must fail. So I was on a plane. Someone left their magazine in the little compartment. I pull it out, and it was an article about Sarah Blakely, the owner, creator of Spanx. And as I remember it, she was there.

The.

The interview person interviewing said, how did you get over the failures that you had previous to Spanx? Like, so many people, you'd fail and, like, give up. Like, oh, my God, I tried that business thing twice. It didn't work. It hurt, it stung. I lost my money. How'd you keep going? And she said, and I hope I have instilled this in you guys, my children. I hope I help the whole world see this, whoever watches this. But she said, growing up, my dad didn't make failure a bad thing. In fact, he made it bad if we didn't fail. She said very often, and this is how I remember the article, it could be a little different. Very often he would say, what did.

You fail at today?

When we were young, like, consistently through our entire childhood. And if she said nothing, he'd say, well, I guess you didn't push yourself enough today. So what does that mean? It means that she, her father realized and then Gifted it to her, gave her the lesson that if you're not.

Failing, if you're not getting cut from.

The varsity football team or baseball team or getting rejected to be in the Marines, or being on SEAL team, or getting rejected for a job that's over your head, if you're not getting rejected, if you don't have some businesses fail, it means you're not pushing hard enough. You're living a complacent life. You're playing it safe. Listen, I'm going to say this until I'm blue in the face, until I'm 100 at the end of our lives, guys, I promise you're not going to look back and wish that you played it more safe. I promise. You're not going to say, thank God I did what everybody else did. Thank God I didn't step off the path. No, you're going to want a redo. You're going to want to start over. You're going to want a button that gets you back to where you could live life. So this lesson is not only to not beat yourself up when you fail, because realize it's a part of it. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it stings.

Yes, you could feel bad. That's okay.

Lower than it for really short periods of time and then get yourself. Let it pass through you and get yourself out of it. Secondly, realize that if you're not failing, then most likely you're not pushing yourself enough. And I'll say whatever age you are watching this right now, if you're not failing, if you're not failing in the areas that you want more, if you're not failing, if you want to be in great shape, if you're not failing with your fitness, if you're not pushing yourself too hard, if you want to make more money, but you're not failing, and trying the business and trying the marketing and trying the sales and trying to do the workshops and trying to.

Do all the different things, if you're.

Not failing, you're not pushing yourself hard enough. If you're not having many failures in your relationship, then maybe you're just standing back and you're losing intimacy, you're losing passion because you're afraid. You just want to leave it calm.

The hell with calm.

Be transparent.

Be open.

Be okay with disagreeing, failing or doing something wrong in the short period so.

You can learn from it. Grow and grow together and go up.

So are you guys failing enough? Are you guys pushing enough? Are you guys learning from those mistakes so you don't regret them? And that's how we sharpen the knife. That's how the stone at the bottom of the river gets smooth from being worn. Working hard in the roughest part, you want that next level. Be ready for failure and be okay with it. It's part of the journey.

This complaining isn't going to get you anything.

Yeah. And just be.

You know, I know it's a silly.

Term, but be an investigative reporter if you're feeling a certain way. I'm telling you, there's always a.

There's.

You know, my kids.

My kids are 6 months, 11 and 13, and my 11 and 13 year old, but I always, I say focus on the fix. Like when something goes sideways with my kids, like, ah. My son wants to focus on why it went wrong, who spilled the milk, whose fault is it, what it'll do. And I always like, hey, bro. I call him bro. I'm like, bro, we got to focus on the fix. And as simple as that sounds, in times like these, we have to focus on a new path.

Because, listen, Humpty Dumpty is broke.

We don't know if America or the world will ever go back to the.

Way it used to.

I'm not gonna travel like I used to. I was on the road way too much, and now I have a new boy and my daughter's gonna be 14.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm the Zoom King from this point forward. That's why we built that studio for Tony, and I built one here in my office. Like, my world has changed so many other people. So know that it may never go back to the way it was.

And the last three words that I've.

Been using a lot lately, Maria. And they've really helped me, is in times like these, we need to take uncomfortable, imperfect, courageous action. A lot of times we've gotten a hypnotic rhythm of our life and we don't even. We're not upset anymore, we're not nervous anymore, we're not uncomfortable anymore. We kind of just got it dialed, get used to, get even excited about taking uncomfortable butterfly action, Right?

Because.

And if you really think at it, think of it.

It's not when we feel the most alive. Like when you just do the same.

Thing over and over, you think that's what you want. Everybody I know that retires hates their life where they put on 30 pounds.

And they're miserable, and then within two years, they're looking to get back in. We're looking for that opportunity to solve problems, to overcome obstacles, to navigate new territory, to solve things that no one else can solve. So take that nervous energy, that uncomfortable, imperfect, courageous action, and be excited about it and know that you have to shift. We have to be innovative and we have to be resourceful.

Well, and what else was going to happen that would stop everybody globally in their tracks to reassess? Right? Like, even a Tony, he wanted different things, but his hamster wheel was going to a million miles a minute. He wasn't able to jump off and to kind of look at things and assess it differently. He had to just keep feeding the beast, right? So this stopped him in his tracks. I was telling Kevin last night about something that's going on with him. I go, you were like the dog you couldn't put down. Like, you.

This.

This is happening for you to reassess for the rest of your life. Like, you can't keep going the way you were going. What got you to Egypt isn't going to get you to the promised land. You want to go to the promised land, right? He's like, yeah. And I go, okay, this is your time to just sit. Stop trying to do sit and really think and explore what you really want in your life and who you want to give to and what you want to leave as an impact and then figure out what that new path is, because the old path isn't going to work anymore. And so Tony's a great example of finding that new path and this being such a good thing, right? From pain comes growth. And so it was a painful thing. But.

Yeah, it's so funny. You and I are so aligned on that. I said, when what we've been so busy, none of us have had a chance to really look at our lives. And what I see, a lot of people said, I don't want to go back to my own life.

I just.

18 years in a job that I realized is not me or doesn't serve me. It doesn't serve my family. I haven't been the husband, the wife, the father, the mother that I wanted to be. And if that's what the universe gave us, if that's the only thing you can hold on to, then hear that and see where can you go, right?

The world is going to continue.

That's an absolute fact. We will get past this. That's an absolute fact. The question is, who will you be when we get past this?

Right?

Someone who hovered and waited till it went back close to norm, or someone who became innovative and disturbed within action. That's another word I love to use. I love being disturbed with inaction. Like, if this is what? The world, the universe. God has given us. I want to be disturbed if I'm not trying to find a way to grow, impact it, and, you know, evolve.

What's up? What's up?

Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here.

And watch them, and I'll see you there.

Sam.